Chapter 6 #2
Instead, I go to my office at eight a.m. and try to prepare myself for Neo’s arrival. I stare at the rain running down the windowpanes and count down the minutes until he enters.
Really, I don’t know why I’m forcing myself to go through this day after day.
I’ve tried to reason that it’s a form of exposure therapy.
That spending time with Neo in a controlled environment will stop me from reacting so…
strongly. That it’ll stop the dreams. Stop me from jerking off over more intensely vivid fantasies involving the blue-haired brat.
That my skin will stop feeling aflame every time he touches me.
Which he does. Often.
Subjecting myself to him daily does nothing to improve my…situation. But really, was I ever expecting it would?
That’s not why you’re doing it. You’re doing it because Neo is right. You like being more yourself around him. That he’s forcing it out of you.
Neo’s certainly been doing that. He warned me he wasn’t going to back off, and he hasn’t. Barely a day has gone by that he hasn’t hidden something I need or moved it to a different place.
So it’s no surprise when I go to make my coffee to find the bean canister empty. I open the cupboard to see the packet missing from the shelf. “Dotty, where’s the coffee?”
Predictably, she doesn’t answer, just sniffs and swans from the room, spraying the air with her bottle as she goes. If she didn’t care so much for Ansel and Neo, I’d question whether she was attempting to poison us.
Sighing, I rummage through the other cupboards. Usually, my mornings with Neo start with him using my phone to order us coffee and breakfast from Northbound Grounds.
The issue is, I need to have caffeine in my system before I can face him.
Which, now I can’t do, because the little brat has hidden the beans.
The ones I special-ordered from Northbound Grounds so we could drink their blend here, too.
Not because Neo likes it so much. It’s because I’ve grown used to it.
Like you’ve grown used to having him around you constantly?
I growl impatiently as I slam the last cupboard shut. I might have grown used to him, but that doesn’t stop my temper rising when he pulls this bullshit.
Thirty seconds later, I’m shoving into his room. I don’t bother knocking. I’m too mad, and it’s not like he ever offers me the same courtesy.
When I see what he’s doing, I suddenly wish I had.
“Good morning.” Neo smirks sleepily, his hand continuing to move over his cock. “Did you sense that I need some help? This will definitely go much faster with you in the room.”
I swallow hard. Neo is sprawled on top of the sheets, his pale skin contrasting against the dark cotton. His hair is spiked in every direction, eyes still heavy from sleep.
Oh, and he’s completely naked.
I grip the door handle until my knuckles whiten. To keep myself standing? Or to keep myself from going over to him?
I have no idea. Right now, I’m not sure who I am. I haven’t known who I am in several weeks; ever since he appeared in my life.
I just know I can’t leave.
“Come on, Wylder,” he coaxes, his lips lifting. “Come closer. I know you want to.”
“Where’s the coffee?” I blurt out suddenly.
His hand strokes slowly downward. Unlike me, he’s intact. The foreskin draws back, revealing his shiny head. “Is that really what you want to ask me right now?”
“It’s why I’m here.” I can’t think while he’s doing that, but I can’t seem to tell him to stop.
“Is it?” he breathes, his hand moving faster. A flush is spreading down his neck and over his chest. “Or is that the excuse you used to come and see me?”
I don’t answer him. I can’t. Not when he wriggles down the bed and puts his feet flat on the mattress. When he spreads his thighs for me, and I glimpse the tiny furl of skin between his cheeks.
My tongue is nowhere to be found. Maybe I swallowed it.
“Is this how you picture me?” Neo’s words are slightly breathless now. “When you get yourself off at night?”
He knows I do that now. It was the price for his work yesterday. I’d never seen him so gleeful. “No.”
His teeth sink into his lower lip. “Tell me.”
I take a step closer. Then another. Another. I don’t stop moving until my knees brush the bedspread. “No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you haven’t done any work yet today.” My fingers itch to reach out and touch his calf. Is it as smooth as it looks?
I fist my hand at my side. “Hurry up. The workday is about to begin.”
Neo groans, his head arching back on his pillow. “Fuck, Wylder. Why do I get off on you being bossy?”
He thinks this is bossy? He hasn’t seen anything yet.
If I were to truly tell him what to do, this would be going very differently.
I wouldn’t be allowing him to race toward his orgasm.
He’d only be allowed to touch himself exactly as I instructed.
As I wanted him to. Until he was begging me to let him come.
But that’s not going to happen.
“Get on with it,” I say instead, nodding my head at his weeping cock. “We don’t have all day.”
“You’re just going to stand there and watch?”
“Yes.”
Neo’s chest is rising and falling rapidly now. “What happened to you being straight?”
“I am straight,” I say automatically. “I’m supervising you.”
“Didn’t realize this came under my job role.”
“It does when it’s impacting your arrival to work.”
Neo pauses to crane his head to see the clock. “Well, look at that. I still have eight minutes left.”
He catches a drop of precum and smooths it down his shaft. My cock is positively aching at this point. “And you think you can come, shower, and dress in that time?”
“I can with the proper incentive.” He shifts his feet wider apart, his abs contracting as he does. “I come much faster with something in me.”
Yes.
“No.”
Neo pouts, and my stomach swoops. I push my hand against it with a frown. What the fuck was that?
“So much for wanting me to hurry up,” Neo says breathlessly. “I’m going to take hours now. Really drag it out and make us super late. And it’ll be all your fault for not helping me out.”
I raise a brow. “And by helping you out, you mean by sticking my finger in you?”
“Finger…tongue…cock…” Neo pants. “I’m not fussy.”
My monster roars at this. Does he mean he’d let just anyone touch him while he’s this horny?
“Just so long as it’s yours,” Neo moans, writhing on the bed. My wrath morphs into something different. Satisfaction. “Please. Fuck. Give me something.”
I have enough presence of mind still to know I can’t touch him. If I give him what he wants, there’ll be no going back.
But I can’t leave him wanting.
“You wouldn’t be able to take my cock,” I tell him coolly, feeling anything but. “Contrary to your beliefs, I don’t have a tiny dick.”
His tongue flicks over his bottom lip. Despite his threats, he’s not going to last much longer. Not with how fast he’s stroking himself now. “I bet I can.”
I smile arrogantly. “We’ll never know, will we?”
Neo’s heavy-lidded hazel eyes meet mine as he throws the taunt from the night in the alley back in my face. “Wanna bet?”
I’m suddenly consumed by the need to cover his body with mine. To bite that smirk right off his fucking lips until all he can say is my name. I want to knock his hand away and replace it with my own. I want him moaning for me. Screaming for me.
Just like in my dreams.
I don’t allow myself to do any of those things. Instead, I take one step forward and place my hand on his ankle, saying one single word. “Come.”
Like he’s been waiting for just that, Neo’s back bows off the bed. I watch, fascinated, as his naked torso becomes covered in his cum.
You could lick that off.
That’s a primal urge I won’t be indulging. Heaven knows the kind of ideas it’d give Neo.
“So,” he pants, propping himself up on his elbows and eyeing the bulge in my pants. “Are you going to let me help you out?”
His question slams me back to reality. I don’t run, or even move my gaze away. I remain calm and collected. “That won’t be necessary. I’ll see you in the office as soon as you’ve showered. Do not dawdle.”
I don’t miss the disappointment flashing over Neo’s face. It mirrors what I’m feeling in my chest.
This is for the best though. Neo is distracting, and I can’t allow distractions. I need my life to be composed. Regimented. Organized.
Letting myself go there with Neo is the opposite of that.
I leave his room and go to my office. It’s only then that I allow myself to break a little. Dropping into my chair, I push the heels of my hands against my eyes until I see stars. “What the fuck are you doing?”
I thought I was straight, but judging by the erection I’m still rocking, I’m not. That doesn’t bother me.
The fact that I’m attracted to Neo?
That’s the thing throwing me off.
We’d be terrible together. Neo lives to drive me crazy.
That kind of behavior can’t translate into a relationship.
Besides, I don’t want one. Not a real one, anyway.
Artificial, surface flings with women like Candace have been my standby for a reason.
They know not to get emotionally invested, and I’m never in danger of them seeing the real me.
Neo, though…Neo’s not one of those women. He wants to wriggle in close. To peel back the layers and see what’s underneath. He’s already doing it.
I can’t let him get closer.
Resolved, I pick up my phone and tap out a text. It’ll annoy the fuck out of my siblings, but they’ll get over it.
It’s what I need to do to remind Neo of what we are.
To remind myself.