Vike (Dirty Soul MC: Long Beach #5)

Chapter 1

“You can’t keep doing this. She’s spoiled, and she’s not even here yet!” Alicia holds up the pretty little dress Greaser just presented her with, and it takes everything in my power not to roll my fuckin’ eyes.

“Hey, if her uncle can’t spoil her, who can?

” He shrugs like it ain’t a big deal, then glances over his shoulder to check I’m watching.

“I gotta head off. I promised Raze I’d check out that old garage on Park Street; see if it’s got potential.

” When he gets up, he kisses her cheek, like she’s his old fuckin’ lady.

All that kinda shit is becoming far too regular.

I’m gonna have to do something about it before I break club rules and snap the assholes spine.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Alicia shakes her head at Eden, who’s got a judgmental look on her face once he’s left.

“I’m not looking at you like anything.” She laughs. “Are you honestly telling me that you aren’t seeing what everyone else is?”

“That Greaser has changed and is shaping up to be a fantastic uncle for my baby girl?” Alicia points out, folding up the dress and popping it back in the gift bag.

“And that he’s got the major hots for you,” Millie adds, staring at Alicia with the same look as Eden.

“Oh, yeah, cause I’m so hot right now.” Alicia snorts a laugh as she looks down and strokes her ever-growing stomach.

“Greaser’s just looking out for his niece, and right now, that means looking out for me, too.

” When her eyes move up toward me, I quickly put my head down, focus on the knife in my hand, and pretend I ain’t been listening.

I know I have to speak to her and tell her how I feel, but it seems harsh to put her under that kinda pressure when she’s in such a delicate state.

I’m hearing from Wrath, all the time, about how important it is not to stress a woman out when she’s pregnant, and the closer Alicia gets to having this baby, the more vulnerable she seems. I wish I could control my feelings; turn ’em off, or toss ’em away.

Every time I look at her, I feel pain. I feel guilt, but worse of all, I feel fuckin’ desperation.

I’ve never had to deal with something like this before.

It’s all-consuming and too fuckin’ much.

“I don’t think you're gonna get that blade any sharper, Vike.” Dev takes the stool beside me, his eyes fully committed to watching his girl at the table.

“How’s she doing?” I ask. It’s only been a month since Millie was raped, and although she seems to be doing well, I know our brother will still be beating himself up about it.

“She’s doing incredible; I ain’t ever met someone as strong as her.” He shakes his head like he’s in awe. “How’s your girl holding up?” He nudges me with his huge shoulder and shifts his eyes toward Alicia.

“She ain’t my girl.” I’ve given up pretending to him that I ain’t got feelings. Since we lost Saul, he’s become the person I talk to most around here.

“You could change that.” He tries to sound encouraging.

“Now ain’t the time, she’s gotta focus on her and that little girl she’s having. I ain’t going nowhere; I’m always gonna be here for them. I guess, maybe when the time’s righ—”

“Ain’t no better time than the present,” Ruck interrupts, coming from behind me and gripping my shoulders. “She’s probably feeling more scared than ever, right now. Going into this with you is–”

“Since when did you two become experts on females?” I look between them.

“Duh…Since we got ourselves females,” Ruck comes back at me. “We’re all getting tired of watching your ass moping around. Pull up your big boy pants and make her yours.”

“And what about Saul?” I ask, wondering how he’d feel about me making a move on his sister.

“Saul’s fuckin’ dead. Do you think he’d be against you making his sister happy?” Dev nods his head at Polly when she passes him a beer.

“It’s against club rules and–”

“Club rules got trashed the second Wrath got with Raze's sister. Thankfully.” Ruck looks over toward the girls' table and smiles at his old lady, Freya.

“Yeah, well, it’s different. Raze was here to give his approval, and so was Wrath when you started things up with his sister,” I point out, wishing I could have my best friend back.

“I can’t speak to Saul, and even if I could, Alicia and me.

..We got something good; I don’t know if I wanna risk ruining it.

” I slide the knife back into my sheath and stand up.

“You see how Greaser’s movin’, right?” Dev frowns at me.

“I ain’t blind.” I wanna turn my head and look at her, but I know it’ll only hurt.

“Just plain damn stupid.” Ruck shakes his head and leaves us to go join the girls, while I head for the door to get myself some fresh air.

“Vike.” Alicia starts to get up when she sees me leaving, and I can’t help smiling to myself when I notice it’s taking her longer than usual. Pregnancy looks real fuckin’ good on her.

“You need a ride somewhere?” I ask; I hate the idea of her going anywhere by herself these days. Far too many young, pretty girls are getting killed on our streets. I’ve seen for myself how cruel the world can be, and the thought of it being cruel to her makes me wanna shield her from it.

“No, I was just wondering if you were gonna be around tomorrow night.” She’s lookin’ kinda nervous, and she should know better.

I’ve made it clear that she can ask me anything.

“I was going to cook something special.” She bites her lip and smiles at the same time.

“It’s Saul's birthday, I thought we could celebrate together.”

“Sounds good.” I smile, focusing on her lips and still hating myself for the way I handled that kiss between us.

It’s been over a month since I rejected her, and things haven’t been the same between us since.

I need to stop being so damn stubborn and tell her the truth.

The boys are right, I need to grow some fuckin’ balls.

Maybe tomorrow night, when I have her all to myself, I could explain.

“Great, I’ll speak to Lettie; see what time she finishes work. I’m looking after Rory tomorrow anyway, I was going to take him to the park. Figure it’s what Saul would have done with him.”

Of course, it makes sense that the two of them are coming too; they are Saul’s family, but I still have to hide my disappointment that we won’t be alone together. These days, it never seems to be just the two of us.

“Saul would want us all to be together,” she says, blinking back tears and smiling bravely. She always gets teary when she thinks about him; the two of them were close, and he always took such good care of her.

“Course he would.” I have to ball my hand into a fist and hold back when my fingers twitch reach out to touch her. “Call me if you need a ride home.” I turn to leave, but don’t even make it to the parking lot gate before she calls after me again.

“Vike!” There's a desperation in her voice that has me spinning around far too quickly. “Things are okay between us, aren’t they? It’s just you’ve been acting kinda distant.”

I wanna tell her that Greaser ain’t giving me much choice. I wanna tell her that, these days, just looking at her puts a hurt inside me that I can’t ex-fuckin’-splain.

“Everythin’s great.” I reach out and take her hand, appreciating how soft it feels in mine as I stroke my thumb over the top of it.

“Good. I’ll see you back at home.” She pulls away, and I want so badly to tug her back and kiss her cheek, the same way Greaser did before he left.

I’ve dreamed at night about having the courage to claim her, right here in front of all my club brothers, and I always wake up to the same disappointment… Reality.

I head straight for my bike; air ain’t gonna be enough anymore. Suddenly, I need distance, too.

“Hey, what's happening?” Saint is kicking down his stand and getting off his bike as I walk through the arch to the parking lot.

“Not a lot. I’m just heading over to—” I pause when I realize I have no idea where I’m heading. I’m just saving myself from having to explain what a fuckin’ pussy I am to another brother who can probably see right through me.

“I gotta run some errands.” I clear my throat as I take my saddle and grab my bars.

“Dev inside?”

“Millie’s inside, which means he ain’t ever far away.” I shake my head and laugh. The way Dev has changed these past couple of months is something none of us saw coming; it’s taking a little getting used to.

“I gotta talk to him; he really needs to have a word with Sinner.” Saint lifts his shirt, revealing the tattoo of an ass-naked woman that covers his ribs. “I swear he’s takin’ things too far.”

I try not to let him see how amused I am. It must suck to be him; half the time, he has no control over his own body. Sinner never used to show up that often, but we’ve been seeing him a lot more lately.

“At least he went to a good artist; looks like decent work... and the girl’s hot.”

“None of that's the point. We should have an agreement over things like this.” Saint growls in frustration as he starts heading toward the clubhouse.

“Somehow, I don’t think that's gonna work with Sinner,” I call out after him.

I ain’t got no other advice for him, Sinner is as cocky as he is stubborn; knowing him, he got the thing done purposely to piss Saint off.

Starting my engine, I head through the gate, having no idea where I’m headed or how I’m gonna pass the time until Alicia gets home.

“You're quiet tonight.” I finish up the dishes and join Alicia on the couch, where she’s sitting staring at the TV screen, yet paying no attention to what's on. I can always tell when she’s into what she’s watching from the expressions she makes.

I swear the girl has about a thousand of ’em, and each one of ’em is beautiful.

“I’m just thinking.” She looks across to me and smiles sadly.

“Thinking about what?” Saul's upcoming birthday is sure to be making her feel sad. If she’s struggling, I want her to know she can talk to me.

“Okay....” She takes in a deep breath like she’s working herself up to something. “So, I’m on this forum for expectant moms, and everyone on there has been discussing their birth plans.”

“Okay.” I twist my body into hers so she knows she has my full attention.

“I know already that I’ll be down for whatever drugs the doctors will give me; each to their own, but I’m a wuss when it comes to pain…What I’ve been thinking about is who I’m gonna want with me.” She bites her lip again as she smiles, then awkwardly looks up at me.

“Me?” I can’t hide the shock from my voice as I take in what I think she’s asking here.

“Vike, there's no pressure. You really don’t have to, and I know things got kinda weird with us when I kissed you, but—”

“Alicia, stop. Of course, I’m gonna be there. If you're sure that's what you want.” The rush of excitement she’s caused comes out in my voice, and I could grab her by her shoulders and kiss her for making me feel so fuckin’ special.

“It’s what I want,” she whispers.

“Well, then, it’s settled.” We’re staring right at each other, the silence is deafening, and it would be so easy to lean in and make this the moment.

“I was figurin’ you’d want one of the girls with you.” I back out, not wanting to ruin what we have. Alicia doesn’t need confusion right now; she’s clearly scared of what's coming and needs some stability.

“Vike, when I have you near, I always feel safe. You’re calm and good under pressure; you're gonna be the perfect birthing partner.” She strokes her hand over mine.

“Damn straight I will. You and this little girl are gonna be in the safest of hands.” I move my other hand to rest on her sexy, round stomach, and when I get a tiny kick in response, we both laugh.

“I think she’s in agreement,” Alicia giggles, resting her head back against the couch and letting out a contented sigh of relief.