Chapter 4
One Week Later
Why is he avoiding me? I ask myself as I sit on the beach and stare out at the ocean.
Vike has been up and out the door every morning before I’ve woken up since last week.
He doesn’t get home until late, and I can’t help but think it's got something to do with that moment we shared in the kitchen. I was certain he was going to kiss me; he sure looked like he was thinking about it. But it ended up becoming nothing, just another figment of my imagination giving me false hope. When am I gonna let it sink in that me and Vike are never gonna happen? I don’t even feel like he wants to be my friend anymore.
When I step into the clubhouse, he immediately makes an excuse and leaves.
It feels like we’ve taken one step forward and three steps back.
“Alicia, can I get a word?” Greaser’s deep voice comes from behind me. He looks upset as he sits beside me on the sand and starts sifting it through his fingers
“What's up?” I ask, grateful for the distraction. My mind is shattered from trying to figure out what I’ve done to upset Vike so much that he can’t even be in the same room as me.
“I heard you’ve asked Vike to be with you when the baby comes,” he tells me, his forehead furrowing like he’s confused.
“Yeah, I was—”
“I was kinda hopin’ you’d ask me,” he interrupts, laughing at himself like he feels stupid and making me feel all kinds of awful for not considering him.
“Thing is, Alicia, this little girl you're havin’ is what's been keeping me sane. I lost my mind when Griller died; blamed myself for not being there to protect him, and that little bit of hope you’re carryin’ is what's been driving me to be a better man. I wanna be there for her. I wanna be there for you. Like Griller shoulda been.” He rests his hand on my stomach and allows me to see how heartbroken he is when he stares into my eyes.
“I had no idea you wanted to be there. I’ve known Vike for so long; he seemed like the right option.”
“Vike isn’t family, Alicia. I know the two of you are close, but do you really think he wants to be there for this as much as I do?
This baby isn’t his responsibility; neither are you, and as much as I’m sure he cares about you, do you really think it’s his place to be at my brother's baby’s birth? ”
I don’t know what goes through Vike's head anymore. He seemed so excited when I asked him, yet it feels like he can’t even look at me anymore. Maybe I’m becoming a burden to him; that he feels obliged to watch out for me because Saul isn’t here anymore.
“You really want to be there, don’t you?” I notice how much softer Greaser's face gets when he talks about his niece. The man is changing right before my eyes, and he’s doing it all for her sake.
“Of course I do, what more can I do to prove that the two of you mean everything to me?”
“Nothing, you already do far too much,” I assure him, feeling more guilt for not letting him see how grateful I am.
“So…you gonna let me be there when you bring my niece into the world? You can bite my hand and curse at me as much as you want.” He raises his eyebrows and puts on a brave smile, looking at me hopefully.
“Sure,” I agree, standing up and wiping the sand off my ass just incase he tries to kiss me again.
“I’m sure Vike will be pleased I got him off the hook.” Greaser stands up too, taking my hand in his as we both walk back towards the stairs that lead to the clubhouse.
“Earth to Alicia.” Peyton clicks her fingers in front of me as I stare across the barroom, thinking about Vike. Again.
“Sorry, I was deep in thought.” I smile at her and sip the iced tea Polly’s brought over for me.
“Which one were you thinking about?” she teases.
“What?” I stare back at her, wondering what she means.
“Were you daydreaming about Vike or Greaser?” She smiles cleverly as she checks her phone again.
“You waiting for a call or something?” I change the subject, not wanting to answer her question.
“No, I’m just wondering where Raze is; he promised he’d be here….I’m ovulating.” She lowers her voice so no one else can hear.
“Oh.” I nod my head, knowing that her and Raze have been trying to get pregnant for some time now.
“I’m starting to wonder if he’s as committed to this as I am,” she admits, looking a little deflated. It’s not like her. Peyton is one of the most positive people I’ve ever met.
“Don’t be silly, of course, he is. Raze is crazy about you.
He’s just busy. You know how hard he’s working to build as many legitimate businesses as he can right now.
He’ll be helping get the garage ready to open.
” Unlike the club's last president, Cliff, Raze values the opinion of the community. For so long, the Dirty Souls have been misunderstood by everyone. It’s good to see them fighting back and making changes.
“Enough about me, back to you. Who’s got you acting all dreamy?” She gets us back on topic.
“Vike’s been avoiding me,” I give in and tell her. I figure it will do me good to talk this out with someone, even if I do sound pathetic.
“I have noticed.” Peyton confirms that I’m not just being paranoid.
“I’m starting to wonder if he regrets moving in. Maybe he feels suffocated by all this.” I look down at my stomach and think about what I’m expecting of him. Greaser is right; this baby isn’t his and I’ve been far too hopeful in thinking he has feelings for me.
“And Greaser?” Peyton asks, glancing across the room to where he’s sitting with Saint and Wrath.
“Greaser wants to be there for us; he got upset when he found out I’d asked Vike to be my birthing partner.”
“It’s not Greaser’s decision to make, it’s yours. It’s nice that he’s excited about becoming an uncle, and he sure is different since he came back, but this is still your baby.” She smiles.
“I told him he could be there; it makes so much more sense. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before.
” I shrug, looking across at Greaser and wondering if I could ever feel for him the way I do Vike.
He’s made it clear that he’d like us to be more than friends, instead of pining after a guy who’s clearly not interested.
Maybe I should open myself up to the idea of a man who is.
“So you’re going to have both of them there?” Peyton seems surprised by the idea.
“Of course not, that would be disastrous. They hate each other. I’m just gonna talk to Vike and let him know that it’s going to be Greaser instead.”
“And how do you think he’s going to take that?” she questions me.
“Right now, the way he’s been acting, I think he’ll be relieved.” I sigh sadly, and Peyton jumps up from her seat when the door swings open and Raze steps inside with Sasquatch.
“Excuse me, I have a baby making appointment with my husband,” she whispers with a twinkle in her eye, as she rushes toward him, taking his hand and dragging him out the back door of the club.