Chapter 40
“You stay right there, sweetheart.” I place my pretty little girl’s carseat in the corner of the room and smile at her. “Be a good girl for mommy and daddy.” I wink before moving back toward Alicia.
“I’m sorry you had to see that, baby.” I stroke her face, smearing it with Mom's blood while she trembles. “She would have destroyed our little family, just like she destroyed her own.” I tilt Alicia’s head up so I can kiss her, and hate the way she recoils.
She never used to recoil for Vike. I watched them fuck for hours; listened to her moan for him, faking her pleasure, and all while she was growing our baby inside her.
“What happened to you?” she asks, and if I didn’t know better, I’d say she looks as if she feels sorry for me.
“Dad left us with our bat shit, crazy mom, and ran off with a whore.” I laugh, ripping open the front of the shirt she’s wearing so I can worship her body the same way Vike did.
“Greaser, please.” She shakes her head when I cup one of her full, round tits in my hand and squeeze it tight.
“You let him drink from you a few nights ago.” I frown, remembering the two huge gashes I made into my thigh to let out some of the pain while I was watching.
“None of this is right. Please, let us go,” she begs me, so desperate and fuckin’ pretty.
“This is how it’s supposed to be, Alicia.
You just don’t see it yet. You were always supposed to be mine.
I came back for you. I promised Mom I’d get her the kid, but I knew it would hurt you too much to lose her.
I wasn’t gonna put you through that. Not when I know now that I can love her, too.
We can be a family. I love you.” I cup her soft cheek in my hand while she lets that sink in.
“If you love me, let us go,” she whispers through her tears.
“Back to him?” I laugh at her, shaking my head and trying to hold back my rage when she ruins things again. “You’ll learn to love me. You were trying before; you just have to try a little harder now. For us.” I look down at our little girl, reminding her why all this is so important.
“Come here.” I sit on the bed and tap my knee, and fearfully, she does what I ask, gradually lowering herself onto me. She goes rigid when I pull down the cup of her bra, revealing her perfect tit and holding it in my hand.
“I hope you make those same pretty noises for me that you made for him.” I smile up at her as I take her nipple between my teeth and suck on it hard.
“Please.” She sobs as she spills into my mouth.“Please, please, please.”
“It’s okay, baby.” I start to stroke away that ache she’ll be feeling between her legs with my hand. “I told you I’d take care of you.” Standing us both up, I rip the shirt off her body completely, then lock the door so she can’t run.
“You never gave me an opportunity to show you what you mean to me,” I unbuckle my belt and smile as I walk back toward her. My poor girl looks so scared, but I know she’s gonna feel different when she’s taken me inside her. She’s never gonna fear me again.
“You're so fuckin’ beautiful.” I slide my hand over her face.
“Please, Greaser, I’m begging you.” She shakes her head as her tears spill onto my fingers.
“You know, you were mine before you were his. Griller may have drawn all those stupid pictures and written those stupid letters, but I was the one who wanted you the most. We had a pact; a pact that Griller broke when he fucked you.”
“Greaser, we ca–”
“Stop calling me that,” I growl, struggling a little to unbutton her jeans, but eventually managing to pull them to the floor. She looks up at the ceiling, clearly humiliated when I notice the sanitary towel she has in her panties.
“I told you, my body isn’t ready. I’m still bleeding.” She’s trying hard to hold back her tears now, or maybe she’s just all cried out of ’em.
“It’s okay, I don’t mind. It’ll take more than a bit of blood to stop me making you feel loved.” I slide the panties off her too, then, taking the gun from my back pocket, I lightly press my hand to her shoulder and sit her on the bed.
“Everything’s gonna change after this,” I promise. “We’re gonna b—”
“Alicia!” A crash comes from the other side of the door, and I punch my fist hard at the mattress.
“Vike!” she calls his name out desperately…his fuckin’ name when she’s meant to be screaming mine! “We’re in here.” Her eyes brighten, sparkling with fresh hope, and I dash it away when I press the barrel of the gun against her forehead.
“If he comes through that door, you fuckin’ die,” I warn her, feeling myself shake with rage. I don’t wanna kill Alicia, but I refuse to lose her to him again.
“Alicia, I’m coming,” Vike calls out, rattling the handle of the door. Her face turns even more panicked when we hear him slam himself up against it.
“Wait, stop! Vike, he’s got a gun,” she cries out at him desperately.
“And I'm pressing it right up against her pretty little face, Vikey boy.” I chuckle when I think about how powerless he is right now. Not so much of a man now, huh, Mom?
“Greaser, let her go.” I can hear the frustration in his voice; he sounds ready to kill. He knows he can’t protect her; he can’t be her hero. All he can do is listen.
“Nah, I think I’ll keep her. You should see the way she’s looking at me. Beautiful, ain’t she?”
“I swear, if yo–”
“Vike, please, just stay on the other side,” Alicia begs him when the door handle rattles again. “He’s not bluffing, Vike.” She squeezes her eyes tightly shut.
“See? She’s made her choice. She’s changed her mind.” I say the words, even though I know they ain’t true. My mind's not my own anymore. I’ve known it for some time; I’ve just never wanted to admit that I’m just like that bitch lying dead out there on the living room floor.
“That's right, Vike, you stay on the other side of the door, while I slide my dick up inside her pussy. I’m gonna show her who the better man is,” I holla back, holding the gun in one hand and using my other one to stroke my dick hard.
Alicia is distracting me with her scared little whimpers.
She’ll never understand how real my feelings are for her.
I’ve made myself bleed over and over for this woman.
The scars on my legs will never heal from how deep I’ve cut myself open.
And she’s betrayed me, the same way my brother did.
“I swear when you get outta there, I’mma fuckin’ kill you!” Vike is on his last nerve. I can hear it in his voice, and when I force Alicia to lie back by leaning over her body, she starts sobbing as I force apart her legs with my knees.
“You can’t stay in there forever, Greaser. You gotta come out some time, and when you d—”
“I’m not comin’ out. D’ya see what I did to my mother out there?
I’m going to hell.” I close my eyes and swallow back tears.
I never, ever thought I’d be able to hurt her.
For years, I was so afraid. I took her shit; I was her personal fuckin’ punchbag.
I shouldn’t feel bad for the bullet I put in her brain, yet I hate myself for it.
“I’m just havin’ one last ride before I make the journey.” I smile at her as I let my cock press against her pussy and continue jacking off against her. “Promise you’ll keep it,” I whisper, not wanting Vike to hear how desperate I am.
“What?” Alicia rolls her eyes over me as if I’m crazy.
“If I knock you up, would you keep it, like you kept his?” I look over to the baby Alicia made with my brother. The baby I was prepared to raise as my own.
So many times I’ve thought about how different my life would have been if that bitch from Kansas hadn’t gotten rid of our kid. How is it fair that Segwin betrays me, knocks up the girl I’ve loved for years, and she, of all people, decides she wants to raise his kid?
“I couldn’t.” She shakes her head. “If you do this, I’d hate you far too much,” she tells me with venom in her eyes. “Do you really want this to be the last memory I have of you?”
“Alicia…Alicia, speak to me.” Vike calls out desperately from the other side of the door, and I press the gun harder against her, trembling with hurt and fuckin’ rage.
“You don’t hate me already?” I laugh at her for thinking I’d be so fuckin’ stupid.
“I feel sorry for you.” She frowns, all the panic on her face has calmed and been replaced with pity. “I misjudged you, and for that, I’m sorry.”
“You're sorry…? You’re fuckin’ sorry?” I shake my head and laugh louder.
“Alicia!” Vike calls out again.
“I’m okay, Sid isn’t gonna hurt me.” I see the strength grow in her eyes as she stares right back at me.
“I think you’ve been abused your whole life. Your father abandoned you, you had to deal with all your mom's issues, and I think you need help.” She smiles softly. I’ve stripped this woman naked, I’m holding a gun to her head, and I’m about to rape her, and she’s fuckin’ smiling at me.
“You want to feel loved. You want to feel wanted, and you're so desperate for it that you're prepared to steal it.”
“You're wrong.” I shake my head, despite the fact she’s speaking the truth.
“Get yourself some help. When you make a child, make sure you do it with someone who wants to give it to you.” My eyes drop between us, and when I see my still limp dick in my hand, it reminds me that I couldn't fuck her even if I wanted to. Mom’s right, I’m fuckin’ useless.
I’ve wanted this woman for so long, and now I can’t even get it up for her.
“Take your kid and get out.” I step back off the bed and press my shoulders to the wall, feeling the spin as Alicia rushes straight to her baby, scoops her up in her arms, unlocks the door, and scurries away from me.
“Alicia, shit, did he….? I’m gonna fuckin’ kill hi—”
I smile to myself as I take that pleasure away from him, raising the gun to my mouth and pulling the trigger myself.