Chapter Four #3
She wet her lips. Her entire being wanted to feel his mouth move on hers. She wanted to see if what she’d experienced earlier was real or if she’d simply imagined her intense reaction to him. ‘If you say so. I just wanted to prove my value.’
‘I do.’ His mouth lowered and captured hers.
Unlike the brief kiss earlier, this one lingered and deepened, moved over her lips and gently persuaded. Warmth entwined itself about her insides. She lifted a hand to his neck and kept his mouth firmly against hers. Far too soon, it ended. He stepped away, watching her with solemn eyes.
She wrapped her arms about her waist rather than exploring her aching mouth. The longing for him to say something grew, because she knew she’d find it difficult to say anything comprehensible.
She concentrated on filling her lungs, and the way a pebble pressed against the tip of her boot.
The kiss had been a gentle, seeking not demanding balm.
She, unfortunately, knew the difference.
But the warning in his earlier words resounded in her head.
He was not offering her anything beyond that solitary kiss.
‘As long as you breathe, you live,’ she said, pleased her voice remained steady rather than lilting up and down like it always did when she was nervous.
‘If you have any doubts, simply ask any passer-by, but the fact that you have enough air to ask the question gives the answer, rather than trying to take a kiss off a woman, even one like me.’
He captured her hand and squeezed before letting go. ‘Thank you.’
‘For what?’
He tilted his head. ‘For your matter-of-factness. No stars in your eyes. No maiden blushing and trembling. It’s more refreshing than you might realise.’
‘Do women often have stars in their eyes around you? Interesting.’
‘Some have, but you don’t.’
She turned her concentration back to the waves, watching them pound ever harder against the rocky shore as the tide rolled in. Answering that bald statement without confessing about their Agthir flirtation was next to impossible.
‘Why did you tell me about your family?’ she asked instead.
‘It’s important for you to know.’ His hand pushed the hair back from her forehead. ‘I don’t want to keep things hidden from you, Svanna. I’m not making promises I can’t keep, but you did something I thought impossible—you made me feel alive again.’
‘Why should I expect anything from a simple kiss?’ A tight ball of hurt curled inside her.
That unnoticed hope withered—that somehow something of the boy she’d once flirted with remained within him and he’d remember the kiss which had so many echoes to this one.
He’d kissed other women like that. She wasn’t special to him.
The sooner she accepted that, the better.
He raised a brow. ‘Some women might.’
‘A handshake would have done if you had wanted to thank me.’ She snapped her fingers. ‘Already forgotten.’
His shoulders shook with suppressed laughter. ‘Practical to your fingertips.’
She shifted uneasily. She knew she’d turn the kiss over in her memory and bring it out again and again, as she had done a long time ago, but that was a problem for later.
Right now, she accepted that the kiss went a long way towards erasing the memory of the intrusive pawing she’d received from the youngest son of Drengr in the garden that day.
Spotting him during the battle had brought it all back and contributed to why she’d found it difficult to sleep last night.
‘Being practical saves heartache later,’ she said with an arch laugh, aware her voice had reverted to sing-song.
‘As you are no longer attempting to keep secrets from me, can you explain why you are here? You are not here to renew an old friendship. You are here to forge new alliances, but how, and what hasn’t Lord Sigmund given you that you require? ’
His scar stood out on his cheek. ‘The high king wishes an alliance with Sigmund, particularly now that he will command over-lordship on this island.’
‘An odd choice, given your shared history with Sigmund.’
‘He sent me because I am one of the trusted few who can speak both Norse and Gaelic.’ He drew his brows together. ‘He is serious about an alliance. He believes neither Islay nor Tara will prosper as long as Turgeis and his brothers rampage, encouraging the worst excesses.’
Svanna drew on years of practice and ensured that her face betrayed none of her inner thoughts.
Most alliances were strengthened through the bonds of marriage.
Sigmund was unmarried. The high king knew this.
Who was the high king offering and why wasn’t she here?
Why was Rand seeking to conceal her identity?
What was this unknown woman to him? Why was he risking so much to protect her?
And what would happen to him and his daughter when the high king inevitably found out?
‘You came on your own without a peace-weaver,’ she said carefully. ‘Knowing that Maer had married and Sigmund has no other female relations, but he himself is resolutely unwed. Why did she fail to travel with you?’
The scar burned again. ‘Unfortunate for all concerned.’
‘The high king must assume this female relation travelled with you as, from what I know of him, he is not a man to accept soothing words about unfortunate circumstances. He must know Sigmund is unlikely to agree to a marriage without first laying his eyes on the intended bride. It is common knowledge that Sigmund has already refused several offers from various petty kings. The excuse he gives is that he is too old and set in his ways ever to take a bride.’
The silence between them stretched until the morning sun highlighted Rand’s unblemished cheek.
Svanna forced her tongue to the roof of her mouth to keep silent.
Astrid held that filling the air with noise when you wanted to discover something meant you’d discover nothing, but equally a woman should always appear as if the silence did not disconcert her.
And this missing peace-weaver was the key to ensuring the current situation did not spin widely out of control.
Her entire being tingled. If she could solve this conundrum, she could save the situation and rescue the match between Astrid and Sigmund.
‘As far as I know, my king remains in ignorance about where his daughter is,’ he admitted with a long sigh.
‘His daughter?’ Svanna assessed him from under her lashes, trying to remember that scrap of gossip Sigmund had divulged earlier. ‘Didn’t you marry one of his daughters when she refused to wed the elderly king her father had chosen?’
Another long silence. ‘Obviously. We were in love. Bridget convinced her father that I was the better man for her.’
She swallowed hard and tried to make sense of what he was not telling her. ‘I take it that the king thinks you travelled with this daughter. Furthermore, you’ve not secreted her for yourself because your heart is buried with your wife, but you know where she is.’
He rubbed the back of his neck. ‘My cousin Thorarinn knows.’
Svanna could not hide her astonishment at the recklessness of the behaviour, which now threatened to endanger many lives including, she suspected, Rand’s daughter. ‘Your cousin ran away with the woman the king intended in kinship alliance? Was that wise of him? Or indeed her?’
‘My cousin possesses a romantic soul. She was way too young for Lord Sigmund. Some might even say she is too young for my cousin, but she preferred him above all others,’ he said as if that explained everything.
‘A romantic soul? Something you no longer possess but did once, which is why you defied a powerful king and married your late wife,’ she continued, despite his scowl. ‘Did you encourage this folly?’
‘My king might think I did,’ he said in a low voice. ‘Sometimes what appears to be the truth matters to him.’
‘Why didn’t you remind her of her duty to her king and country?
’ Her breath caught as the enormity of his confession washed over her.
Rand was attempting to put things right and present the king with a scheme which would be acceptable.
If he lost the king’s favour, she had no doubt there would be severe consequences for him and his daughter.
‘You didn’t know. They kept it hidden from you until it was too late.
Now you are trying to retrieve the situation. ’
He absently fingered his scar. ‘I owe my cousin more life debts than I care to count. Whether or not he was wise to do what he did remains to be seen. Sigmund could have refused the offer and all would have been well. Rhiannon was wrong to panic.’
‘But she did panic.’
‘She and my cousin fell in love.’
‘Was your cousin with you in Agthir?’ she asked as a faint memory surfaced. Her nurse had indicated that two men had left suddenly when she’d enquired after Rand.
‘He tried to halt the beating I received from Drengr and his sons. They would have pummelled me to death. Thanks to his quick thinking about jumping aboard that ship though, I survived. Recovering except the scar.’
Her stomach knotted. Who had observed the fateful encounter between her and Rand and then informed Drengr? Probably immaterial now. However, she knew that confessing any of the past was beyond her because he would surely blame her.
‘How do you think you will solve this? Any idea?’
He put his hands behind his back and stared out at the water. ‘Sigmund must agree to an alliance. I will provide surety in some fashion. I will make up the rest. No point in borrowing trouble.’
‘But your king will only be satisfied if there is a kinship to bind the countries together.’
The instant the words tumbled from her throat, she knew there was a way through this for him, and a way for her to show that her future could have more meaning than simply being the companion who had once served an important purpose but was now no longer truly required.
She could even be a mother, like she’d dreamt of.
So many possibilities if she dared give voice to what must be the obvious solution.
She clenched her fists and tried to hold back the fatal words which could alter her life.
His scar stood out more vividly than ever in the dawn light. ‘Aye, my lady, but—’
She felt like she had as a young girl when she’d heard Tippi crying from the other side of her hiding place and knew she couldn’t stay hidden, even with Agthir burning all around her.
She had to make a move. And she could argue from a position of strength because she suspected he intended something similar.
A marriage of convenience would mean she could avoid the terrors of the marriage bed. She suspected he’d agree to it if she put it in vague terms because his heart belonged to his late wife. It could be why he’d explained about his late wife before kissing her.
Going forward is better than going backwards.
A saying from when she was a little girl, and its truth echoed in her brain.
And Rand was not like Turgeis. She knew that from the way her body reacted to him, even if that was going to have no part in any marriage.
The more she considered it, the more the idea appealed to her.
‘I offer myself as a peace-weaver in this unknown’s stead.’
Her words hung in the morning stillness.
Rand’s mouth dropped open. ‘You? A peace-weaver? Between Islay and Tara? Or Lord Sigmund and you?’
‘Islay, Tara and Agthir.’ She braided her fingers together. ‘All woven together with bonds of kinship and a determination to prevent Turgeis and his brothers from succeeding. Your king would desire that, wouldn’t he?’
‘My king believes in the binding bonds of kinship.’
‘I assumed that was what you were angling for with your praise of my practicality.’ She forced a smile but her insides knotted tighter than ever.
She hated being manipulated, but she also knew she had something to bargain with.
She could set terms for any marriage. ‘Stealing a kiss which any could view. By Freya, I should have seen the half-hearted seduction for what it was.’
He blinked several times. ‘My king has no need of a wife.’
‘But you are the king’s blood by your former marriage.
’ She crossed her arms and dared him to say differently.
‘Or are you telling me that you have not considered this point? You’re many things, Randolfr, but I doubt you’re a fool.
Don’t treat me as one either. You require a mother for your daughter. Two birds, one stone.’
‘My late wife even mentioned the possibility as she lay dying but…the time never felt right. Birdie has me.’
‘It will solve your conundrum though. Let’s not play any undignified games with stolen kisses.’ She held out her hand. ‘Will you accept my offer of marriage, because I shan’t make it a second time? You must see it is the best way to secure your daughter’s future.’
His fingers hovered over hers for several long heartbeats while his eyes appeared to bore into her soul. His smile turned wintry. ‘A political alliance only?’
‘Your heart remains with your wife. I wouldn’t dream of intruding,’ she whispered, giving the barest of nods.
His fingers finally curled around hers. ‘Shall we inform Sigmund of the scheme and get his verdict?’
‘Allow me to do it,’ she said, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart. ‘My foster-mother needs to hear of the proposal from me first.’
He watched her mouth. She licked her parched lips, but he made no move to take her into his arms. Her heart ached. She’d guessed right. His kiss had been an attempt to manipulate her into a marriage. A lesser woman might have fallen for the honey-sweet words.
‘My cousin and his wife will be grateful.’
‘And you?’
He bowed his head. ‘Marriage to you is one answer to the problem I had not considered, but it makes more sense than any other option.’
‘Sometimes the Norns twist our life threads in mysterious ways.’
‘You do have a way of putting things, Svanna.’
Her stomach hurt like it had after the usurper declared he was sparing both Astrid and her life because, as her daughter, she had begged prettily.
Back then, she hadn’t intended to impersonate Ingebord; it had just happened.
This time, she was certain she could control events and the marriage would be the sort she wished, one based on practicality and not attraction.
She wrapped her arms about her waist and watched his retreating figure. Only after he disappeared did she realise that he had not actually agreed to her proposal.