Chapter Sixteen
Svanna did her final round of ensuring all the injured were tended to.
The last item on her long list of what one did after a raid, and then she knew she’d have to go and speak to Rand alone.
She had thought doing the small tasks would allow her to regain control and stop wishing for things which could never happen.
It had taken all her self-control not to blurt out how much she loved him, how worried she’d been and how she wanted their marriage to become a loving one.
She wanted to go forward and not have the past burden her.
She started across the now-deserted yard.
‘Is this what Lord Randolfr calls hospitality?’ a loud voice boomed from the far side of the yard.
She turned to see a simply dressed man with a head of flowing copper hair heavily laced with grey streaks and fierce blue eyes. Five other men dressed in simple hunting gear stood behind him.
‘It depends, King Máel Sechnaill,’ she said, sweeping into a low curtsey, ‘on whether or not you arrive after a major battle.’
The man arched a brow, bearing more than a passing resemblance to Birdie. ‘You are aware of who I am?’
‘You and your granddaughter share the same eyes. I presume your late daughter had those eyes. I’ve yet to meet Rhiannon.’
He frowned. ‘Rhiannon isn’t here? I was reliably informed that she had appeared with some man in tow.’
‘She is apparently slowly making her way back with her beloved. Rand discovered them and left several of his men to help with their safe return. I believe they may require some medical treatment when they do arrive back as her man, as you call him, had to fend off one of the Drengrson brothers.’
‘You appear remarkably well informed, my lady.’ The king tilted his head to one side. ‘Have we met?’
Svanna bobbed another curtsey. ‘Svanna Guthardottar, the dowager Queen of Agthir’s foster-daughter.’
‘I understood her foster-daughter sat upon Agthir’s throne.’
‘You were misinformed. Her real daughter sits. I was the substitute for a while, but now I’ve other duties. Lord Randolfr and I made a blood alliance, uniting Eire, Agthir and, in time, Islay.’
Máel Sechnaill appeared to digest the information with some surprise. ‘What are you to this place?’
‘Svanna is my bride,’ Rand said, slipping an arm about her waist. ‘This hall is now her hall. It stands in no small part thanks to her and her quick thinking. I was lucky to find her.’
Svanna leant into him, basking in the glow of unexpected praise. Her heart kept whispering that she could have more if she asked for it. Then she moved and his arm fell away. She knew it had been for show and hated that she wanted it to be real.
‘You married?’ Máel Sechnaill turned to his courtiers. ‘Why wasn’t I informed of this? My son-in-law has contracted a second marriage with the Queen of Agthir’s foster-daughter. I expect better service from my little birds.’
‘I presume Birdie’s nurse sent word that Rhiannon was here, directly after the couple arrived and you set off immediately,’ Svanna said.
The King’s mouth dropped open. ‘How do you know I am in communication with her?’
Svanna rolled her eyes. ‘My foster-mother taught me well.’
He gave a barking laugh. ‘All right, I confess. The nurse does send messages from time to time. I want to know what is going on. When I received word that my daughter was missing, I was beside myself.’
‘Your granddaughter will be delighted to see you. She bears no small resemblance to your side of the family.’
Máel Sechnaill’s lips became a thin line. ‘I came to find my daughter, not to visit my granddaughter. My granddaughter’s fate must be her own. I’ve had more heartache than a man should bear.’
‘But my daughter would love to see you,’ Rand said, putting a firm hand in the centre of Svanna’s back.
‘Birdie makes any heart lighter,’ Svanna added, trying not to lean into him. ‘She is in the main hall, playing with the other children.’
‘Go and see her,’ Rand said in a low voice. ‘Bridget’s spirit lives through her. The spitting image.’
Tears swam in the older man’s eyes. ‘Does it? I’d like that.’
‘A feast has been prepared. You will be feted at the high table,’ Svanna said. ‘You must visit your prizes afterwards. Today is an end of Turgeis and his brothers menacing us—Eire, Agthir and even Islay. We must celebrate.’
‘What are you going to do?’
Rand laced his fingers with Svanna’s. ‘Speak to my wife. Alone.’
The high king laughed. ‘Who am I to come between a determined man and his bride?’
Svanna knew her cheeks flamed, but she allowed Rand to lead her away to a secluded barn, even though she feared what must be coming.
‘Are you sure that was wise?’ she asked. ‘The King complained about the hospitality, and he is uncertain about Birdie. I won’t have her upset, Rand.’
‘Very sure,’ Rand said. ‘Because first the King and then my cousin and his wife will arrive. By the time everything is complete, you’ll have something else to do. Are you avoiding me?’
‘I’m trying to play my proper role, the one we agreed when we wed—a peace-weaver bride. To keep to our bargain.’ She willed him to understand and let her go. She hated that she longed for his love, but she’d learned a long time ago that the moon would never be hers.
‘What if I would like you to play a different role?’
Svanna’s mouth went dry. ‘A different role? We’ve an agreement.’
He raised her hand to his mouth. ‘I’ve done you a great disservice, Svanna. Before we go any further, you must know this: For years I believed my cousin saved my life, but I know now he was entirely at fault for what happened in Agthir that day.’
Svanna tilted her head to one side and tried not to panic. She hated that she wanted to be married to him whatever shape that marriage took. ‘The past stays past, Rand.’
‘Its shadow will always fall between us unless I explain.’
She wrapped her arms about her waist and nodded, bracing her heart for whatever came next.
Rand rapidly explained what had happened in truth.
How Thorarinn had made a wild guess to pay off his gaming debts, and then, after receiving the gold, had learned who was being beaten.
When he’d finished, he caught her hand and raised it to his lips.
‘Can you forgive him? Or would you rather not have anything to do with him? I know how much you’ve suffered. ’
Her heart turned over and she knew she was sliding further in love with him, but it had ceased to matter. What he’d confided showed that he did care a little for her. Maybe they could work towards making a proper marriage.
‘No gold would have been on offer if Turgeis had not invented the rumours.’ She shook her head. ‘The people who bear most of the blame were Drengr and his sons. I will hear no more of this. It happened, but I bear your cousin no ill will. You survived. I survived. I will go on surviving.’
‘We both have scars, Svanna. Mine on my face and you…’ He touched her chest. ‘Deep in here. I can’t undo them, much as I would like to. Now we need to renegotiate our marriage bargain.’
The sound of her heart pounding nearly drowned out his words. ‘Negotiate our marriage contract? We married because it was the right thing to do for both our countries. Simply because we defeated the Drengrson brothers does not mean the need for our alliance will cease.’
‘I find I want more than a bloodless alliance, a strategic marriage, I believe you called it. It won’t suit.
It won’t suit at all. I want a family like I dreamt of having as a boy, one where I spend time with my wife because I want to, and we raise our children together on a farm. I grow weary of war, Svanna.’
Her mouth went dry. He wanted a real family. More than that, he wanted her because of who she was, not because of her relations. ‘Your heart is buried with your wife.’
‘The man I was ceased when my family was buried. That man’s life had been far from perfect. I spent far too much time away and we lost sight of our dreams. In my heart I knew when she’d gone that we’d somehow lost each other long before.’
He paused. The hope growing in her breast threatened to overwhelm her, but she drew on all her training to remain silent.
‘But I didn’t die,’ he said, finally breaking the silence.
‘I lived for my daughter. In the beginning, her nurse told me that because Birdie had struggled to breathe at birth, she was too fragile to survive. Days, months and then years passed. My daughter who seemed weak and helpless grew into a sturdy little girl. But I stubbornly refused to see the goodness life could hold until you came into my life. Suddenly I find old dreams have returned. I want that family again. I believe in second chances now, Svanna. Can you?’
‘Are you trying to say you no longer have need for an alliance?’ she whispered around the fear that clogged her throat. Did he want to end their marriage?
‘I thought my heart was small and incapable, but you came into my life, making demands, and my heart grew stronger.’
‘What are you saying?’ she whispered, hardly daring to believe what she was hearing.
‘I’m willing to release you, Svanna, if you don’t want forever. But will you begin our marriage again? Not for Agthir’s or Islay’s sake, but for yours? Because you want, above all things, to be my life-partner, just as I long to be yours.’
She turned her face into his palm. ‘You want forever? With me?’
‘The man I am now loves you, Svanna, with all his heart. The youth I once was, maybe he would have grown to love you in that garden. I don’t know.
My carefree youth vanished that night in Agthir and what is left of me is scarred, but I want to be with you for ever.
Not because it makes sense for either of our countries, but I want to start my day with your head next to mine on the pillow and end it with our lips pressed together.
’ He paused and ran his hands through his hair.
‘Sigmund may have called me a silver-tongue, but my tongue is tied where you are concerned. Will you have me?’