Chapter 14 #2
I scowled, jerking my head back to glare at him. His eyes were devoid of warmth. He meant it. He would snap Finley’s bones in the middle of the party and rationalize the mess later.
I turned back to Finley, forcing a smile. “I’ll be right back, Finley. I need to speak with Thomas for a moment.”
Finley looked confused, but I didn’t give him time to ask questions. Cipher placed a hand on the small of my back and steered me away from the kitchen. We navigated the crush of bodies until he backed me into a hallway leading deeper into the penthouse, blocking us from view.
“You are not going to touch Finley,” I hissed, keeping my voice low. “And you are absolutely not going to tell me who can touch my body.”
Cipher took a slow sip of his drink. “Do you really want him to fuck you?”
“That’s none of your business.”
“I can tell you now, he isn’t going to fuck you, Annie.
” Cipher’s voice was a dark, mocking drawl.
“He is going to be nice. He is going to be sweet. He’ll probably ask for permission to make love to you.
He will be so incredibly kind and courteous, ignoring your clit while he mindlessly pumps in and out of you. ”
My face burned. “You don’t know shit and you don’t know what I want.”
Cipher stepped forward, caging me against the wall without actually touching me. He raised his hand and traced the air over my forehead, down the curve of my jaw, his fingertips a hairsbreadth from my skin as he mimicked the exact path Finley’s fingers had taken.
I held still, waiting for him to close that tiny bit of distance.
Cipher leaned closer. “You got wetter from the mere suggestion of my touch than you did when he actually put his hands on you.”
I hated that he was right. I hated the throb pulsing between my thighs, and I hated him for being the one to put it there without even making physical contact.
“Go back to Finley,” Cipher murmured. “Try to get wet for him. Let him fumble around in the dark and disappoint you.”
My fingernails bit into my palms until they stung as a slow, arrogant smile curved his lips, though his eyes remained dead and cold.
“I’ll even play the gracious host, despite you trying to hook up with another man inside my home.
I’ll let Finley keep both of his hands… Provided you actually get wet for him.
” He tilted his head, his gaze dropping to my mouth.
“The gardens on the third floor have plenty of secluded areas. Take him up there. Give him a fair chance to get you off.”
He took a deliberate step back, removing the intoxicating heat of his body from my space. The smirk stayed glued to his perfect face as he gestured toward the crowd, offering me an unobstructed path to leave.
Fine. Fucking fine.
I marched away from him and found Finley exactly where I had left him, nursing his drink.
“Do you want to get out of this crowd?” I asked, grabbing his forearm. “There’s a garden on the third floor.”
Finley blinked, his face lighting up. “Lead the way.”
We navigated up to the roof. The beauty of the space momentarily made me forget my mission.
The third-floor gardens were a sprawling, open-air sanctuary right in the middle of the city.
Thick fog rolled in from the dark expanse of the bay, swallowing the skyline.
The neon lights of the city bled into the mist, turning the atmosphere into a glowing cloud of color.
I forced myself to pull away from the view. I wasn’t here to admire Thomas Smith’s real estate. I was here to prove a point to the monster living inside his skin.
I led Finley down a winding path until the noise of the party faded into a dull hum. We stopped in a secluded spot shielded by tall ferns.
I looked up at Finley through my lashes and waited for the spark. I waited for my heart to race, for my skin to flush, for any biological indicator that I wanted this man.
Nothing happened.
The only emotion swelling in my chest was dread.
Finley just kept talking. He didn’t step closer. He didn’t reach for my waist or crowd me against the low stone wall. He was still rambling about the university’s grant allocation process, his hands gesturing enthusiastically as he outlined the flaws in the humanities budget.
I took a deep breath and decided to force the issue. I leaned in to him and pressed my palm flat against the center of his chest.
Finley stopped mid-sentence as he looked down at my hand. Slowly, he lifted his own hand and covered my fingers. His palm was warm. Safe. He slid his free arm around my waist.
Good, good. He’d made contact.
I tipped my chin up, waiting for the shift. Okay, Finley. Kiss me. Bite me. Hold me tighter. Do fucking something. I needed him to drag me out of my own head. I needed him to overwrite what Cipher had done to my body.
He gazed down into my eyes with a soft reverence that made my stomach curdle. He didn’t pull me flush against his body. He didn’t dig his fingers into my hip to claim the space.
“You’re so pretty, Annie,” he breathed.
I forced a smile, keeping my hand on his chest. “Thank you.”
“Dawn has had so many wonderful things to say about you,” he continued, his thumb lightly stroking my knuckles. “She told me how driven you are. How much of a perfectionist you are with your job.”
My smile stiffened. “I like things organized.”
“It’s incredible,” Finley said. “I’m just so tired of dating women who don’t have their life sorted out. So many are emotionally messy. The drama, the unpredictability. It’s really refreshing to meet someone who is just so pulled together.”
Any lingering hope of arousal instantly vaporized into ash at his words. Finley didn’t want me. He wanted Keeper Annie. He wanted the pristine, rule-abiding professional who kept her uniform pressed and her emotions neatly filed away in color-coded folders.
He liked the cage I had built to survive my own life.
It gutted me that he was right. I was pulled together. I had to be. If I slipped up, if I let the messy, traumatized parts of myself bleed through, I risked losing control of myself.
Standing in Finley’s loose embrace, I realized I could never just be Annie with a man like this. I would have to perform at being normal for him every single day. I would have to hide the girl who secretly craved the darkness, the violence of being pinned down and fucked.
Finley leaned down, his trajectory slow and asking for permission to kiss me.
A wave of numb exhaustion washed over me. I couldn’t do it.
I planted my hand firmer against his chest and pushed back, easily breaking his hold.
“Annie?”
“I’m sorry, Finley,” I whispered, my voice tight. “I can’t.” I walked away as fast as I could without looking like I was fleeing.
I couldn’t go back downstairs. Not yet. Cipher was down there, likely sipping his drink and waiting for his prediction to come true.
He’d known Finley would fail. He knew I was broken in a way only a monster could recognize and I couldn’t look at his arrogant face right now and have him tell me he was right.
I wandered deeper into the garden and found a quiet spot at the edge of the roof.
Below me, the neon glow of the fog swirled into a beautiful haze.
I stared out at the glowing city, my chest aching as my vision slowly blurred with tears.
I gripped the railing until my knuckles ached, willing myself not to cry, but a tear spilled over my lashes anyway, cutting a wet path down my cheek.
“Well?”
I jumped, my shoulders jerking up toward my ears. I didn’t turn around at the deep rumble of his voice. I kept my face stubbornly angled toward the city, refusing to give him the satisfaction of seeing me humiliated.
Footsteps approached, slow and deliberate against the stone path. “That was remarkably fast,” Cipher drawled, his tone dripping with amusement. “Either Finley is a prodigy at getting you off, or you chickened out. Which is it, Annie?”
I clamped my jaw shut. I wasn’t going to talk to him. I wasn’t going to play his games.
The air behind me shifted. “Look at me.”
I didn’t move.
His hand clamped over my jaw, his fingers digging into my skin, as he forced my head around.
The smug, mocking curve of his mouth vanished the second he saw my face. His eyes dropped to the wet track on my cheek, darkening instantly.
I tried to jerk my head away but his grip tightened.
“What the fuck did he do to you?” The amusement was gone, replaced by an edge that promised immediate violence.
“He didn’t do anything,” I spat, finally wrenching my chin out of his grasp. My skin burned where his fingers had been.
“What happened, Annie?” He crowded me against the railing, refusing to back down.
“Leave me alone.”
“No.” The word was flat. Absolute. “What. Happened.”
“He called me pretty!” I hissed. “He said I was pulled together. He praised me for having no drama, for being a perfectionist, for keeping my life neatly organized and not having messy emotions!”
“He was going to kiss me,” I continued, my voice cracking.
“He asked for permission with his eyes, and he was going to be sweet, and I couldn’t do it!
Because I don’t want to be that person all the fucking time!
” I slammed my palms against his chest, my breathing ragged.
“I have to be perfect every single day, and I can’t stand that you know exactly how broken I am.
I can’t stand that you’re just fucking toying with me! ”
I stood there, trembling, my chest heaving as the damp fog began to overtake the rooftop. I waited for the mocking laughter, I waited for him to dissect my pathetic outburst.
He took my face in his hands, his thumbs sweeping over my cheekbones.
I panicked and twisted my head, thrashing against his hold. He dropped his hands from my face and caught my wrists, pinning my arms between our bodies. I was immobilized as he brought his mouth to mine.
I braced for violence but his lips brushed mine with agonizing, deliberate care. It was soft and slow. It was the best goddamn kiss of my entire life.