Chapter 34
ANNIE
I stared at the false windows in Cipher’s bedroom, the artificial moonlight streaming across the lower half of the bed.
The simulation was perfect, the subtle shifting of light as digital clouds passed over the face of the moon, the gentle gradient of darkness around the edges.
It was almost better than real moonlight, consistent and controlled. Like everything else in Cipher’s world.
He’d been asleep for hours now, but getting him there had been a challenge.
The man had been running on pure adrenaline for I don’t know how long.
I’d forced him into the shower, his shoulders slumping as hot water finally relaxed muscles wound tight.
Then I’d made him eat something, ignoring his protests until the plate was empty.
He’d collapsed into bed directly after that.
He hadn’t even had enough energy to pull the covers over himself.
I’d never seen him look so human.
What was I even doing here? He was asleep now.
Fed. Clean. Taken care of. Mission accomplished.
I should leave. That would be the smart thing to do.
Return to my apartment, put some distance between us, process everything that had happened.
Instead, I was lying fully clothed on top of his covers, trying not to disturb him.
I turned my head to look at him. In sleep, the hardness was gone from him. No smirk, no calculating gaze, just the gentle rise and fall of his chest, one arm flung above his head, the other resting across his stomach.
I’d fought with myself before coming to the Labyrinth. I’d paced back and forth in my bedroom, telling myself I would look desperate and clingy if I showed up unannounced. That I’d be crossing some invisible line.
But then I’d remembered he’d sent me freaking hands, so I’d come anyway, and good thing I had. The sight of him when I arrived was shocking. Dried blood had covered his skin and armor, his eyes sunken. He’d been utterly exhausted.
But I needed to go now. He wouldn’t want me here when he woke up. When Cipher came back to his senses, he’d be angry that I’d barged in and ordered him around like some overbearing nurse.
What had I been thinking? That I could waltz into his domain and take charge? That I could put Cipher to bed like a child? God, he’d hate that. He’d hate the implication of weakness.
“Why do you look so furious?”
My gaze snapped up to meet silver eyes watching me. I smoothed my expression and sat up. “I’m not furious. Just thinking.”
“Why are you still dressed and on top of the covers?” His voice was rough with sleep, deeper than usual.
I stared at him, confused by the question. “What?”
“I know you don’t sleep fully clothed, Annie.” His eyes traveled down my body, taking in my sweatshirt and jeans.
I scrambled for what to say, feeling like I’d been caught doing something I shouldn’t. “I was just staying in case you needed something. I was about to go, actually.”
“Stealing off in the middle of the night?” His mouth quirked up at one corner.
“I didn’t want to intrude,” I finally said. “You needed rest, and now you’re resting, so…”
In the artificial moonlight, Cipher’s eyes almost seemed to glow. “Lay down, Annie.” He closed his eyes again, looking for all the world like he was going back to sleep. “Under the covers this time.”
My stomach dipped at his command. Or was it a request? Hell, it didn’t really matter.
I slid off the bed. With my back to him, I took off my jeans, folding them neatly over a nearby chair, then shimmied out of my bra under the cover of my sweatshirt. I gave a small sigh of relief as the underwire finally stopped digging into my skin.
I made sure to leave plenty of space between us as I climbed into bed and stared up at the ceiling, hyper-aware of his presence beside me.
I squeaked in surprise when Cipher rolled over and snaked his arm around me, pulling me against his chest.
“Relax,” he murmured, his breath warm against my ear. “Just sleep.”
I lay rigid beside him, my thoughts racing faster than my heartbeat.
Maybe this was just exhaustion talking. Maybe he wouldn’t even remember asking me to stay come morning.
I counted the seconds between his breaths.
They were deep and even, suggesting he’d already fallen back asleep.
I could probably slip out without waking him.
“Stop thinking so loudly,” he mumbled, tightening his arm around me, as if he could sense my thoughts of escape.
I turned my head slightly, finding his face much closer than I expected. “I don’t know if I should be here.”
“You are here.” Simple. Matter-of-fact. As if that settled everything.
“But tomorrow—”
“Isn’t here yet.” His eyes didn’t open, but his thumb traced a small circle against my hip. “Sleep, Sparks.”
Easy for him to say. How was I supposed to sleep with his body pressed against mine, with the heat of him seeping into me? How was I supposed to quiet my mind when everything about this situation screamed complication?
This felt like strings. Tangled, complicated strings that would only get more knotted if I stayed.
Cipher’s breathing was so steady, his body so warm against mine. The weight of his arm felt oddly comforting. Maybe I could stay just a little longer. Just until I was sure he was deeply asleep. Then I’d go. I just needed to wait a few more minutes.
I woke with a start, momentarily disoriented by unfamiliar light patterns dancing across the bed. The sunlight was coming from the wrong direction, casting shadows that my brain couldn’t reconcile with my bedroom.
For a terrifying second, I couldn’t remember where I was.
Then I felt it. A warm thumb tracing lazy circles on my stomach beneath my shirt. The sensation sent a wave of awareness through my body, and everything came rushing back. Cipher’s lab. His exhaustion. Putting him to bed. Staying.
Oh god. I’d stayed.
I sat bolt upright, dislodging his hand and clutching the sheet to my chest.
“I’m sorry,” I blurted out, not daring to look at him. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep. I was going to leave. I just, I must have dozed off.”
My face burned with embarrassment. This wasn’t part of our arrangement.
Sex, yes. Sleeping together? Waking up together?
Absolutely not. We never slept together after fucking before, unless you counted the small moments of dozing before the next round.
Cipher would always send me back to my room once we were done.
“I really was planning to go,” I continued, words tumbling out in my panic. “I didn’t want to be here when you woke up. That wasn’t—I know that’s not what we—“
My rambling apology was cut short by a low, rumbling sound, somewhere between a grunt and a chuckle. Cipher’s hand shot out and caught my wrist, tugging me back down beside him.
His arm snaked around my waist again and his thumb resumed its lazy circles on my stomach.
“Your brain is working too hard,” he said against my hair. “I can practically hear the gears turning.”
I swallowed, trying to find my voice. “This isn’t what we agreed to.”
His thumb paused momentarily before continuing its hypnotic path across my skin. “Annie.” The way he said my name made me fall silent. “It’s just sleep.”
But it wasn’t just sleep. It was his arm around me, his breath against my neck, his fingers tracing patterns that felt like they were burning into my skin. It was waking up together, sharing a quiet moment that had nothing to do with sex or the roles we played.
It was intimate in a way that terrified me.
“This isn’t sleep,” I whispered.
I couldn’t let this continue. I couldn’t let him pretend this was nothing when we both knew it was something. I turned in his arms to face him.
“I should go,” I said, fighting to keep my voice steady. “Because I don’t want to watch you wall me out again when you come to your senses.”
His eyes narrowed slightly. “What are you talking about?”
“This.” I gestured between us, at the minimal space separating our bodies. “The way you’re holding me. The way you held me all night. It’s not part of our deal, and we both know it. And I’d rather leave now than wait for you to remember that and shut me out.”
I could still feel the sting of his dismissal at the Nexus.
The way he’d gone cold, retreating behind that impenetrable mask.
I wouldn’t survive that again, not after a night of being held in his arms, not after feeling what it was like to be touched with something that felt dangerously close to tenderness.
“So I’m going to go,” I continued, even as I wanted to lean into his warmth. “Before you have the chance to push me away again.”
I tried to pull away, but Cipher’s arm tightened around me, holding me firmly in place. My heart raced as I searched his face for any sign of the coldness that had destroyed me last time.
“What do you want from me, Cipher?” My voice came out as barely more than a whisper.
“Stay,” he said, and it sounded like a plea. Just a simple request that seemed to cost him something to make.
This wasn’t the arrangement. The rules of our twisted deal were simple: he provided the violence, the dominance, the loss of control I craved to escape the pressure of my own life. I could handle the monster. I knew how to survive the Villain.
I had no defense against this.
He brushed a stray lock of hair behind my ear, his gaze never wavering.
Every soft caress fractured another piece of my resolve.
He was ruining everything. He was making it impossible to walk away.
If he bruised me, I could at least pretend to leave angry.
If he fucked me and threw me out, I could leave numb.
But this tenderness was breaking me.
I looked away, unable to meet his gaze any longer, afraid of what he might see in my eyes. Without thinking, I ran my hand through his hair, pushing it back from his forehead.