Chapter 10
Viper
Guilt was the very reason I was in this mess to begin with.
Guilt for craving getting the hell out of Colorado so badly that I’d jumped at the chance of joining the military.
Guilt for almost never taking leave, which was why I hadn’t paid any attention to how sick my mother had become.
Guilt for allowing my sister to face the terrible illness afflicting our mother almost entirely alone.
Then there was the chapter that had derailed my entire life. But even the strong pull of guilt for all that had occurred wasn’t enough punishment.
As I leaned over the fence, studying the horses as they munched on some grass, I grappled with the fact I had a new wave of guilt eating me alive inside.
For taking Grace up on her kind offer.
The morning came early, more so because I hadn’t managed to catch more than five minutes of sleep. How could I? While I hadn’t lied to my host, I also hadn’t been forthcoming in the reason I’d been turned away from the motel.
While the bed had been comfortable, a hell of a lot better than in prison or even the shitty motel, I’d tossed and turned feeling guilty as shit the entire night.
Grace had placed her trust in me, which was honorable and misguided at the same time. Couldn’t she tell that I was a predator?
She’d brought me extra blankets, apologized for the room being cluttered, made certain I’d had clean towels for the bathroom, and had gone to bed.
Without grilling me on why I didn’t have enough money to rub two nickels together, as my mother used to say.
Maybe that’s why I was in such a shitty mood on such a beautiful morning.
Sailor was right beside me, enjoying the quiet walk since Ellie May had slept in Grace’s bed. Or so I assumed. While I’d heard creaks of the floor during the night, I hadn’t moved for fear of running into her. I’d crept from the house, doing my best not to make any noise.
At least the shower had felt damn good, but I’d worried about the use of hot water. Well, shit. Nothing was going according to plans.
A slight noise caught my attention and when Sailor bristled, I glanced in the direction his head was turned. “Oh, my God. Sailor. Quiet.” Very slowly I crept down the fence toward the grassy patch between the corral and the clinic. The sight in front of me was amazing.
So beautiful and natural that I stood where I was without blinking.
I felt another presence behind me and just before I knew Grace was about to say something, I pulled her in front of me, cupping my hand across her mouth.
At the same time, I lowered my head, whispering into her ear as she stiffened.
“Shush. Look toward the clinic.” Her body was rigid and in her hands were two travel-style coffee mugs.
Even her breathing was heavy, much like the night before. She’d been a brave girl in coming after either a bear or an intruder with nothing but a shovel. Yet I’d been able to sense her fear and it had nothing to do with who I was or what I’d done.
The beautiful woman was harboring a dark secret that made her uneasy around men. And forget about trust. The two of us were in the same boat with that.
Yet here she was, finding me to offer coffee.
“See the deer?”
She nodded and her entire demeanor shifted in front of me. As soon as I removed my hand, she gasped just enough the gleeful sound brought a smile.
I’d be damned. A real smile on my face.
Not about sex either.
“That’s amazing. I knew they’d come and find her.” She was breathless in her excitement.
“Her?”
“The fawn. Wait here. Will you? Don’t move.”
She shoved the mugs into my hands, taking a wide berth to head to the clinic. I stood watching them, daring to inch just a little bit closer. They were scared, but I had a feeling they’d realized that neither I nor Grace had any intention of hurting them.
I had no idea how long it was before she’d returned, but when she did, she had the fawn in her arms. The little creature wasn’t kicking until Grace placed her on the ground.
The other deer walked closer and I could sense such emotion in them.
As soon as the fawn was free, the tiny awkward deer raced toward the group.
Even a big, indecent man like me could enjoy such a beautiful reunion, the mama nuzzling her baby to ensure she was okay.
After a thorough inspection, all four bounded toward the woods while Grace and I walked closer.
There was something so magical about the moment, including that neither Sailor nor Ellie May was chasing after them.
When the fawn’s mother reached the edge of the woods, she stopped long enough to turn around, her huge brown eyes locked on Grace’s. The moment was one I would never forget.
“You’re welcome,” Grace whispered and that was enough to release the magic and the deer ran away.
The trembling woman stood where she was and I put the cups down, taking slow and easy steps toward her. I didn’t know the woman well at all, which was why when she wiped tears from her eyes, I stiffened, uncertain what if anything to do.
But the surprises continued and she turned, running toward me and jumping into my arms.
Her laughter sparkled into the air and in those strange and wonderful few seconds, I was part of her world, seeing the joy of caring for animals through her eyes. “Amazing. I knew it. I knew her family would come find her. Animals are so amazing.”
I laughed with her, which caused the dogs to finally go nuts, but I wasn’t worried about them chasing the deer. I’d never seen two dogs so happy to spend time together.
If that wasn’t bad enough, when she slowed her laughter, she pressed one hand against my chest, curling her fingers around my shirt. The girl was daring, tempting, and bad news all the way around.
Which was why when she captured my mouth, the shock wore off quickly and I took control of the kiss, the hunger breaching the surface. I was lost in the moment, not caring about what had been said the night before, the guilt or anything else.
Just the intense moment of intimacy.
But as quickly as it had begun, we both grasped onto the realization of what had just happened, the line we’d stepped over and she wiggled from my arms to the ground, immediately backing away.
The moment was awkward, silent, and unacceptable.
She made certain there was a significant distance between us before pointing to the coffee.
“I didn’t know what time you were leaving so I put it in a to-go cup that you can take with you.
Don’t worry. I’ll take care of Sailor. Um… Have a good day at work.”
I stood staring after her, shaking my head the entire time. What in the hell had just happened?
* * *
There was something about her, that something difficult to ignore.
Grace.
I wasn’t a man to sit around and think about a woman for any length of time. Never had been. Yet that something that I couldn’t put my finger on had ignited a fire deep within.
Witty, sharp tongued, intelligent as hell, and when she was angry, which I’d seen numerous times, she could cut a man to shreds of what he’d been before. Up until now, I hadn’t found that attractive. But with Grace, everything was.
The curve of her mouth, especially in fury.
The way she walked.
The angle of her jaw when she smiled.
Shit. Now my cock was aching, which I had no business in encouraging.
With all her attributes, including how fabulous she was with animals, she was a clutter freak.
Yep. I could say that. I understood she’d inherited the house from her parents, but the living room alone should be considered a disaster zone.
And the bedroom I was staying in? Well, let’s just say the number of mostly empty boxes created interesting pieces of furniture.
I tapped my fingers on the steering wheel. The girl was a complete mess. Maybe that’s why I was more comfortable around her. She was a little bit frayed around the edges. Much like I’d become. Only clutter drove me crazy. Well, maybe I’d need to do something about that.
But I had to admit, her bedroom was a clear picture of the girl hiding inside the hot and defiant exterior. All pink and fluffy. A girl I longed to keep safe. Well, shit. My mind was playing tricks on me.
Six-thirty. An early start to the day. Not that I minded.
That didn’t mean I was getting off at a decent time, but if I did, I had plans on buying a few items at the hardware store.
I still had some money, which would allow me to purchase a few pieces of pretreated lumber to begin replacing the front porch.
I couldn’t believe she hadn’t killed herself when she’d fallen through.
To see how red her face had gotten when demanding I not mention a word had brought a smile to my face and still did. She was a tough girl, more so than I’d thought.
I laughed as I pulled into the parking lot, noticing the airplanes, which dragged my memory from the present to the past.
When I’d joined the military, I’d been an eager kid with nothing to lose and a feeling that I could conquer the world.
That wasn’t unlike every other recruit with me in boot camp.
But since I’d been a bit of a misfit as well, I’d caused trouble from day one.
I’d been reprimanded more times than I could remember, ready to be tossed out had it not been for my commanding officer seeing something in me.
That hadn’t meant I’d lost my arrogant attitude, but I’d learned when I needed to keep it hidden. Doing so worked fine until something made me angry. Then all bets were off.
I’d also learned that making friends brought heartache. So I stopped caring about anyone. Life had been much easier to deal with since then.
In joining the Zullies, I reminded myself this wasn’t about making friends. I had a job to do that I’d take seriously. Fuck everything else. When I pulled into the parking lot of the hangar by the airport, I was surprised how nervous I was.
Hell, my hands were sweating and it wasn’t because of the delicious coffee I’d brought with me.