Chapter 23
Grace
Silence.
While there could be no such thing inside a bar filled with at least three hundred people with country music playing in the background, there was an utter, undeniable moment of silence we’d all shared.
If only for a few seconds.
Maybe there was something fitting, or some crazy karma about the fact I was standing in a bar devoted to smokejumpers. There were pictures of local heroes going back twenty-five plus years, members of former teams, most of whom had retired.
But not all.
Every television was on, the volumes turned up, the most trusted news source providing up to the minute information about what people feared would end up being a tragedy.
It wasn’t every day the smokejumpers were battling a raging fire in their own backyard.
The footage of the mountain burning was horrific, a reminder that life was precious.
Although there was no concrete evidence of any kind, I’d already heard the old timers with their speculations that the fire was due to an act of arson.
I hadn’t realized just how close the fire had come to the university, so close a portion of their football field including one of the buildings had been torched.
I’d stopped drinking the moment Landen and Shannon had confided in me. Nothing would make me feel any better. Nothing.
Except for having Viper’s arms around me.
As I stood huddled in the group with my friends, it felt as if I was standing outside of myself, high up in the air, staring down at the kind of event that brought people together.
A blip in time where animosities were foregone, differences no longer mattering.
Where the rich and poor mingled together, every nationality, every religion, every political party couldn’t care less if the person next to them was someone they wouldn’t ordinarily talk to.
Since we’d yet to learn who’d been stuck on the mountain, although it had confirmed there were two smokejumpers missing, the two men were everyone’s sons.
I’d heard laughter, which had seared a hole in my heart at first until I’d realized their joy wasn’t about something frivolous but about the stories being told about former or current smokejumpers, including the Beckett brothers, current legends in town.
The town was still recovering from the loss of William Beckett, far too young to have lost his life. Yet he’d done so doing what he loved.
Being a member of the Zullies.
There were other tall tales that could hold no real truth, but they were comforting.
Encouraging.
A hell fire had rolled through the summit where the last two jumpers had been trapped, a fire burning so hot that everything would be torched as the demon refueled.
I’d learned more lingo than I’d cared to before. Maybe that was because at least two retired smokejumpers other than my godfather were providing step-by-step moments from memory.
“It’s going to be okay,” Darlene said.
“Why has it taken so long? Why haven’t they told us the names of the men who are missing?”
“Because they don’t want to provide any false information. You understand that.”
Hours had passed, Shannon buying drinks for everyone in hopes of keeping people calm.
“They need to tell everyone. We’re going crazy.”
“Try and relax. There are rescue people everywhere. Plus, they have methods of survival in the packs they take with them. You need to have a little faith.”
Faith was something I’d struggled with since the death of my parents.
How could I believe in some sense of spirituality or hope when so much of my world had crumbled.
With my stomach still churning, I turned my attention to the television.
Dozens of people were staring at the screens, doing exactly what I was doing.
Hoping.
And praying.
Maybe I still did believe in divine intervention.
“I can’t relax. What time is it?”
“It’s after midnight. Do you want me to take you home?” Darlene was sweet to ask and maybe I should head home. At least because of the dogs.
With another glance at the television, I noticed the Zullies’ captain was about to be interviewed. “Not yet. Maybe in a little while.”
“I’m here when you need me. I won’t leave your side.”
I could no longer feel anything, completely numb inside. Hours had passed, the news bleak and no one was able to provide what I needed to hear.
That the man who’d awakened the lost little girl, who’d given me a reason to laugh was coming home.
Home.
I moved closer to the television. Maybe the captain had something concrete. The hope faded as soon as he began to talk. I folded my arms, so cold my teeth were chattering.
His words were drowned out by everyone in the large group surrounding me providing tips and thoughts of their own. As soon as I turned away, Landen stepped in front of me, gently pulling me off to the side close to the exterior wall.
“How are you doing?” he asked. His fatherly voice wasn’t going to work on me tonight. Not a chance.
“Fine. Just fine.”
“You should go home and get some rest.”
“Why? So I can handle his death better than if I wasn’t rested?” I’d never snapped at my godfather before. Not once. While his expression remained even, I groaned. “I’m sorry. I know you’re just trying to help.”
He pulled me in for a big bear hug, rubbing my back. I felt so tiny in his arms.
Just like I did when I was with Viper. How could knowing a man for less than a week spark such heavy emotions?
“I wish I could tell you there is nothing to worry about, but I won’t lie to you. What I can tell you is that the fire is under control so that’s good news.”
I pushed away, nodding as I did. While I didn’t want anyone to see just how emotional I’d become, there was no way I could hide the tears any longer. I was overwrought, incapable of holding it all together.
“I also know whoever the two jumpers are, they know exactly what to do. They’ll find a safe spot to hunker down.”
“While the fire rolls over them.”
He sighed, frustrated I’d learned enough. “The shelters have proven to save lives.”
“That doesn’t make me feel any better. And please don’t tell me to have faith. I’m all out.”
Before he could retort, someone from the crowd surrounding the televisions whistled.
“There’s some breaking news.”
I sprinted closer, my heart in my throat.
The captain was still on the screen. Where he’d tried to maintain a slightly upbeat expression before, even from where I was standing, I noticed the way his jaw was suddenly clenched. He turned his head, rubbing his jaw and I was certain he was going to shut down the interview.
“Captain Daughtry,” the female reporter pushed. “Have you received new information that might provide some clarity?”
He didn’t seem inclined to answer. Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Landen moving slightly in front of me. I’d never seen him so out of sorts in my entire life.
The captain cleared his throat. “We’ve finally accounted for our teams in the field. I’m happy to report that there have been no deaths and every hiker was rescued.”
“What about the report there were two missing smokejumpers?” The reporter knew better than to push too hard.
It was apparent the man wasn’t used to dealing with loss of his team.
His Adam’s apple bobbed as he swallowed, finally looking directly into the camera. “The two missing Zullies have been identified as Stephen Beckett and Rory Locke, otherwise known as Axe and Viper.”
The collective gasps within the bar drowned out what else the captain was saying. I turned around, my eyes completely unfocused. I could tell I was stumbling forward, trying to keep upright.
I lurched away, my hand pressed against my mouth. Echoes pounded in my ears. No. No. No! Gasping for air, I turned in a circle, needing air.
“Grace, come sit down.” Darlene’s voice sounded as if in a vacuum.
“I’m fine.”
“How about some water?” Cassie asked.
All I could do was wave her off, still trying to catch my breath.
Landen’s presence was more electric than before, comforting yet terrifying since he knew what was happening better than I did. “Listen to me.”
“I can’t. Not right now.”
The man had always been respectful when stern, a wise man with a heart of gold, but his bark was worse than his bite. He spun me around, keeping his fingers tightly wrapped around my arm so I couldn’t escape.
“You are going to listen to me. Here’s what will happen. Yes, they were trapped behind a wall of fire. From what the captain just said, although he is not going to say a damn thing to a reporter, we now know the approximate area of where they hunkered down.”
“Why approximate?”
“We know the coordinates of where the last fire devil roared through.”
“But you can’t be certain they’re there. What if they’re already dead?”
“Grace, stop. Stop.”
Just then I heard a voice I recognized and whimpered, once again pushing away from him.
“Base. Rock. This is Viper. We are now four point two miles from the summit. If the GPS is correct, we are southwest from the M. But I can’t be certain. We’re hunkering down. There is no other choice. See you on the flip side of hell.”
“That was the voice of Viper Locke, the newest member of the Missoula smoke-jumping team, considered missing on Mount Sentinel.”
My body swayed, my mind trying to hold it together.
“Fuck,” Landen hissed. “They shouldn’t have played that. We know they are alive and determined to stay that way.”
“What happens now?”
“Now, they hike to the area and try and find them. The rescue mission is already under way.”
I snapped my head toward my godfather. “They must find him.”
“If it will make you feel any better, I’m headed there now to join in the search. We will find them.”
“What if when you do…”
“Nope. You’re not doing that. Have someone take you home. I will call you as soon as I know anything concrete,” he said. “I promise you. Okay?”
I thought about what he was saying and I shook my head. “Not good enough.”
“What do you mean?”
“I’m going with you.”