15. Lelia
Chapter 15
Lelia
N ico follows me to the bedroom where I’m meant to be held prisoner in a beautiful cage. As much as I should hate this, I can’t because he’s here.
He closes the door behind him like it’s the only thing keeping the world out. For now, it is. Even if there were guards outside, I’m not alone and that’s the only thing that matters.
The room is dark, lit only by the faint spill of silver moonlight through the curtains. My heart is louder than it should be. I’m almost certain he can hear it, but Nico won’t admit it. Instead, he’ll only comfort me to calm that erratic beating.
“I shouldn’t be here,” he says softly as he pulls me into his arms.
I take a step closer, even though everything in me is trembling and I can’t get any closer if I tried. Each time he’s embraced me, it’s been as if we are one entity. “And yet you are.” My voice is low, a whisper.
He exhales, sharp. “Because I don’t know how not to be.”
I lean my head against his chest, only to hear his heartbeat. The thrum is a rhythmic sound that calms me. My fingers find his. “I think about you every day, all day. What happened between us earlier was everything I wanted, but I want more.” My admission is a whisper that escapes easily because I’m not looking at him. If I were, I wouldn’t be able to say it. “What we’re risking…” I start slowly as I murmur the words. But my voice breaks and I have to close my eyes to keep from crying.
His hold tightens, and it’s as if safety is cocooning me for the time Nico is here. “It will be worth it in the end.” His words calm me, but I know it won’t be long before the panic will set in.
“We have to be careful,” I whisper. “We’re not really. We pretend we are, but we’re not.”
He pulls away and steps back to look at me like I’m the only real thing left in this world that’s so fragile, it can shatter at any moment. “Because when I’m with you, I forget to be afraid.” The honesty in his words hits me right in the chest.
“I don’t,” I say. “I’m terrified.”
His thumb brushes over mine. “Of what?”
“Of someone hearing. Of someone knowing. Of waking up tomorrow and finding out you’re gone or Ignacio coming for me in the middle of the night and sending me somewhere you can’t find me.” All my fears escape easily, and I have no way of drawing them back in so they’re hidden from Nico.
He steps closer. His voice is low, raw. “You think I don’t feel that too? Every time I leave, I wonder if it’s the last.”
I swallow hard and look up at him, seeing the darkness in his gaze. He may act as if he’s not scared, but I know he is. He’s just admitted it. “Then why do we keep doing this?”
He leans in. His forehead touches mine. “Because I’d rather die loving you than live like you’re nothing to me.”
A tear slides down my cheek before I can stop it. “I’m not ready to lose you.”
“You won’t,” he says, shaking his head adamantly. “Not unless you tell me to walk away.”
My chest tightens. “You wouldn’t listen.”
He smiles, but it’s hollow. “No. I wouldn’t.” He may offer a grin, but there’s truth in his words. Nico isn’t someone who can walk away from anything, especially me, and I’m coming to learn that.
We stand in the dark, hearts pounding, too close and not close enough. The fear is still there—coiled around my ribs like a sleeping serpent—but it’s not stronger than what I feel for him.
“I don’t know how this ends,” I whisper.
“Neither do I,” he says. “But I know how it starts. With you. Always with you.”
And when he kisses me, I kiss him back like it’s the last time.
Because it might be.
Nico leads me to the bed and allows me to settle in under the covers. He doesn’t join me because I know he can’t. He has to leave soon, which only seems to twist my gut like a knot. I don’t ever want him to leave me, but it’s safer when he’s in his quarters.
We stay there in the dark and I say, “I don’t know what you’ve done to me.”
A soft chuckle escapes his lips. “I haven’t done anything, Lia. I’m just me. As I’ve always been.” He moves and settles in beside me. We lie in the darkness as Nico speaks again, “I didn’t think I would ever love anyone. With my father being the bastard he is, I figured I would die alone. I never wanted anyone to sink their claws into my heart.”
“And I did?” I ask but don’t look at him because I don’t want to know the truth.
Silence hangs between us for a long moment and then Nico says, “You did, and I wouldn’t change it because it’s where I was always meant to be.”
And that’s when the quiet sits heavily in the air. I don’t know what I’m meant to say to that. So, I leave it. Long enough to feel like we’re suspended outside time, like the rules don’t matter, like this house doesn’t know we’re breaking every law it’s ever written.
Nico grows quiet, and when I sneak a glance at him, I realize his eyes are shut. He falls asleep for a moment—his back against the headboard, his arm draped around my waist like he forgot he’s supposed to leave. I watch the slow rise and fall of his chest and memorize the shape of his jaw in the low light.
I don’t touch him. I don’t breathe too loudly. I just watch .
Because I don’t know if I’ll ever get this again.
And even if I do… it won’t be like this. Not quiet. Not safe.
I’ve seen what happens to people who defy my father. I’ve seen the consequence of loyalty torn in half.
When Nico finally shifts awake, blinking like he forgot where he is, I feel it. The weight of reality slipping back between us.
“I should go,” he whispers.
I nod, but neither of us moves.
He runs a hand through his hair, sighs, then leans down and presses a kiss to my shoulder. It burns.
And then he slips away.
Back into the dark.
Back into pretending.
By morning, the house has returned to its usual rhythm—cold, calculated, and full of eyes.
“ Buongiorno ,” I greet the staff as I walk into the kitchen.
I play my role.
I always do.
Fiancée of the Boss.
Pretty enough to parade, quiet enough to keep the peace. The girl they all think is harmless.
But I’m not harmless anymore.
I have a secret. And his name is Nico.
The staff nod to me as I pass through the kitchen and make my way to the fridge. They watch me, but they don’t stop me. I grab a yogurt and head out onto the patio where there are guards standing focused on the perimeter.
Growing up in this world, I’ve become accustomed to the ways of the organization and the staff. Some of them smile. Some leer. I return none of it. My eyes stay forward, my hands stay still. I don’t let myself think about last night.
I eat my breakfast slowly, and as I finish the yogurt, I’m brought coffee and fruit in a bowl. Each of them nods to me, but they don’t speak. It’s as if they’ve all been ordered to be silent.
I settle on the patio and listen to the waves crashing below us. But as much as I try to read and focus on the story before me, I know I can’t ever think of anything other than the man who’s risking his life being here.
Mid-afternoon brings heat and tension. The air is thick. A storm is coming. I can feel it in my bones and I’m pretty sure the men moving around the house can feel it as well. I’ve moved from the patio, the breeze has picked up, and I needed to think in silence.
I’m in the library—a sanctuary—curled in the window seat with a book I haven’t touched in ten minutes. I keep thinking about the way Nico looked when I left him. Tired. Fractured. Like he’s unraveling piece by piece and I’m the thread that keeps pulling.
I’m still lost in the thought when someone clears their throat.
I look up.
Marco.
My stomach flips.
“Signorina,” he says with a nod.
I close the book slowly. “Marco.”
He steps inside the library like he owns the space. His eyes scan the shelves, the windows, and finally, me.
“The Boss wanted to speak with you before dinner this evening,” he says.
I offer a tight smile. “Isn’t that what’s expected of me? To be available at his every whim?” I’m being a brat, and I know it will get me in trouble, but I can’t help myself.
He chuckles, toothpick twitching in the corner of his mouth. “Your husband doesn’t like to be kept waiting. He wants you to know when you are expected and what is expected of you. Over time, you will learn how to please him.” His words send a cold shiver down my spine.
“I’m not a slave,” I say, meeting his gaze. “I’m a human being.”
He watches me carefully like he’s trying to see something under the surface. I keep my expression neutral because this is one of the men closest to Ignacio. If he suspects what’s going on between Nico and me, we can both be killed.
“Just be careful, Lelia.” My name sounds like a warning in his mouth.
And then he turns and walks out.
I sit there for a long time, staring at the space where he stood.
He knows something. Or he thinks he knows.
And that’s almost worse.
It’s only when I’m in my bedroom again that I think about him.
Nico has been on my mind, but I haven’t had a moment to talk to him.
My mind hasn’t properly drifted to our silent moments together.
Not until I’m alone.
And even then, I realize I think too much.
Nico is dangerous. But not in the way I’m afraid for because I know he’ll keep me safe. It’s him I’m worried about.
He’s dangerous because he makes me feel like I could be more than this.
More than leverage.
More than a pretty thing promised to the Boss of a violent organization with bloodied hands.
He’s dangerous because when he looks at me, I feel like I matter.