Chapter 12
Kelly
Aweird sound makes me open my eyes. Light filters through the curtains. I shut my eyes again and groan. The bed’s cold behind me, Alexei’s warmth completely gone.
I reach back and touch the mattress, then sit up and look around.
He’s on the floor next to Clover’s setup, sitting cross-legged while petting her and holding out a carrot. He’s wearing one of my clean boxers that’s bright pink and ridiculously tight on his muscular frame. I’m genuinely confused about how he squeezed into them without cutting off circulation.
Wait. I don’t even have carrots in my fridge.
I squint. “Where did you get a carrot?” Then blink again. “And are those my boxers?”
He looks at me, deadpan. “Da to both.”
I sit there for a second, trying to process this. “Okay, but where did the carrot come from?”
He scratches Clover’s ears. “I went to the store and got it for her.”
I rub my face, trying not to laugh because this man broke into my apartment to take care of me, raided my underwear drawer, and bought vegetables for my rabbit.
What is my life turning into?
I’m about to ruin this moment, but I have to say it. “Carrots aren’t actually healthy for rabbits. They’re really high in sugar.”
He frowns. “They’re not?”
“Yeah, I know it’s confusing. But it should be more of a treat than a regular thing.”
He pets her behind the ear gently. “What should I bring her then?”
I can’t help but smile because he’s genuinely asking, sitting there in my too-small pink boxers like this is a completely normal morning conversation.
“She’ll go through hay like crazy. Hay and pellets are her main diet, but romaine’s what she gets excited about.”
“Fine,” he says and goes back to petting Clover.
He doesn’t argue. Doesn’t tell me I’m wrong or that he knows better. Just accepts it and adjusts. David never did that. If I corrected him about anything, he’d find a way to make me feel stupid for it. Turn it around until I was apologizing for speaking up.
Alexei just … listens.
My stomach growls loudly. “Do you want to go out and get something to eat with me?”
It comes out quiet and nervous while I chew on my thumbnail and wait for his answer.
I see it immediately when his whole body goes stiff. He stops petting Clover and looks at me with that guarded expression.
“Kelly, I already told you. We need to be careful.”
I exhale loudly because my stomach hurts, and my head’s starting to throb. I get bitchy when I’m hungry and him saying that just makes it worse. I know this thing with him is complicated, but it’s just breakfast.
“You’re angry,” he says, tilting his head.
“No. I just need food.”
“But you’re injured. You can’t really go out like that.”
I pinch the bridge of my nose. “Okay, I know we’re still getting to know each other, but if I say I’m hungry, it’s about a thirty-minute warning before it starts becoming everyone else’s problem. I’ll pop some painkillers. I told you it looks worse than it is.”
Please just let me have this…
Let me pretend I’m okay and that David didn’t break something inside me. I’ve shoved it down as far as it’ll go, and I just need it to stay there.
He sighs and stands. “Fuck it. Get dressed. We’ll go out and get something nearby, but we need to be careful, zaychik.”
He listened. I told him what I needed, and he just … did it. No guilt-tripping me about ruining his plans. No making me feel like my needs are inconvenient.
It’s such a small thing. It shouldn’t mean this much.
But it does.
He gently scoops Clover back into her space and walks over to grab his jeans from the floor.
A weird, full-body excitement hits me. I jump off the bed and walk past him, grabbing clean boxers on the way to the bathroom. I brush my teeth and try to fix my hair. It’s a complete mess, but whatever, it’ll have to do.
I pull on a pair of faded gray jeans despite my body still aching and a brown sweatshirt, then start looking for my coat before glancing over at him.
He’s wearing dark jeans and the white thermal shirt again that makes my mouth water.
I glance down at myself, and just like that, the insecurity hits me hard. He’s so out of my league. I don’t understand what he sees in me.
He walks over to me and cups my face, fingers light on the bruised side. Kisses me hard, urgent, tongue pushing into my mouth before he catches himself. Then pulls me into a tight hug, but his hands are careful on my ribs.
He breathes in my scent, and I almost laugh because, regardless of whatever he sees in me, he clearly likes how I smell at least.
His lips find the bruise on my cheekbone. Soft. Careful. So different from the kiss a second ago.
“Come on, let’s go.”
He picks up my black coat from the floor, the one I’d forgotten I was even looking for before I spiraled into self-doubt, and hands it to me. Then he grabs a black leather jacket and shrugs it on.
We head out of the apartment. The cold air hits as soon as we step outside. We walk side by side toward a little café near my building. He opens the door while glancing at me. I step past him, feeling slightly out of place and exposed.
The warmth hits my face as we walk inside, and it smells like coffee and fresh pastries.
It’s bigger than I expected, cozy but not cramped, with booths lining the walls and a few tables scattered near the windows. Not overly busy right now with just a couple of people on laptops and someone reading a book in the corner.
We stand in line, and I catch people looking at him, then quickly glancing away like they’re afraid to stare too long.
He looks terrifying, which is funny considering how gentle he was with me last night.
The barista is probably in her twenties. Her eyes go wide the second she sees him. She glances at his face, then not so subtly down at his chest, staring like she’s trying to see through his thermal shirt.
I wish I could grab his hand and make it clear he’s with me, except we’re not even dating. We’re something undefined and confusing as hell.
“What can I get you today?” she asks, smiling at Alexei.
The way she’s completely ignoring me is already pissing me off. “I’ll have a cheesecake muffin, one croissant, and a vanilla latte,” I say, rolling my eyes.
She blinks like she forgot I was standing there. “Right. And for you?” she asks, turning back to him immediately.
I watch her eyes trail up his neck, then back down to his stomach. I’m about two seconds away from making a scene.
Alexei doesn’t even acknowledge her existence. “Same,” he says, pulling out his card without looking at her.
“Okay, we’ll bring your order out when it’s ready.” She leans over the counter slightly, pushing her chest forward. “Oh, and those are free today,” she adds, pointing at a glass tray full of cookies. “They’re actually really good. We make them in-house.”
Alexei barely glances at the tray before walking off toward the back. I follow him, trying not to let my irritation show.
We sit in a back booth. He takes off his leather jacket and hangs it over the back before settling across from me. I do the same and try not to act as awkward as I feel. It’s weird being with him in public. Last night was his first time with a guy.
Does that make this experimental? Temporary?
Then the jealousy hits me hard. Does he sleep with women? Is that even something I’m allowed to ask? My brain won’t stop spiraling.
He looks straight at me. “What is it, zaychik?”
“It’s nothing. Just hungry, I guess.” God, I’m the worst liar alive.
He shifts and brings one of his feet close to mine under the table, then taps it lightly.
“I don’t like games. If you’ve got something to say, say it.”
“I know we’re not, like, a thing,” I say, making air quotes with my fingers. “But you’re not sleeping with anyone else, right? Because I don’t think I’d be okay with that.”
His shoulders tense, and he glances around, checking to see if anyone heard me. But I meant what I said because I’m not doing this if I’m just one of many options.
He opens his mouth to respond, but his eyes flick up behind me.
“Here you go. I hope you like your order,” the barista says, setting our plates down. “I added one of those cookies to your plate, by the way. I just thought you might like them.”
She tucks a strand of hair behind her ear and keeps her eyes locked on him. “I wrote my number on the napkin. Call me if you’re single.”
I clench my fists on top of the table so hard my knuckles turn white. I catch Alexei glancing down at my hands, then back up at my face.
“Fuck off.” He picks up the napkin and hands it back to her without even looking at what she wrote. “Before I lose my patience and make you regret walking over here.”
She looks flustered and walks away quickly.
I open my mouth to say something, but he cuts me off.
“Kelly, I don’t share what’s mine. Someone touches you, they lose their hand. Someone looks at you wrong, they lose their eyes. You’re mine now, which means everyone else stays away or I make them disappear permanently.”
He grabs his croissant like he didn’t just casually threaten murder and takes a bite without breaking eye contact with me.
Ooooookay then. I guess I got my answer.
I scratch my head, then pick up my muffin and take a bite. The sweet taste makes my mouth water and grounds me a little. We sit there for a while eating in comfortable silence.
It feels surreal to be out with him like this, not exactly a date, but it still feels like we’re doing something dangerous together. Something that could get us both in a lot of trouble if the wrong people saw us.
He grew up thinking this was shameful. I’ll be patient while he unlearns that lie.
I nudge my foot against his, and he looks up. His mouth twitches with what might almost be a smile.
Wincing, I climb the first step to my apartment. Going down was fine, but apparently going up is a whole different torture. Alexei’s hands are on my shoulders before I can take another breath.
“Let me carry you.”
I look up the flight of stairs, then back at him. “What?”