Chapter 2.8 #2
His hands were large, strong, yet somehow gentle. Hands that would someday touch her. Caress her.
His eyes were dark, deep, penetrating. She shivered remembering his stares. How was it possible that she believed he was disapproving of her? She had no right to blame him for misjudging Jane’s feelings for Mr. Bingley since she had been utterly wrong in guessing Darcy’s sentiments for herself.
And then his lips—which would kiss her. A kiss from Mr. Darcy. From her husband.
Yes, her marriage was induced by unfortunate circumstances.
It was arranged by force. But her husband did not marry her out of obligation only.
He loved her ardently. He had dreamed of her for many months, even when he was far away from her.
How would his passion, his ardent love feel when he finally unleashed his desires?
Such reflections made her embarrassed, anxious, alarmed, curious, eager. She shuddered, torn between the heat burning her inside and chills running along her skin.
She did not sleep, but her spirits were high enough the following day.
Before noon, Mr. Gardiner’s carriage arrived to fetch Elizabeth.
Maria decided to remain another month with her sister, so the Collinses bade a long goodbye to Elizabeth.
She was certain they were relieved by her departure, taking the burden of rumours from their house.
Neither of them knew, however, that she already had an agreement with the nephew of their noble patroness.
Just in time for dinner, Elizabeth reached Gracechurch Street and was welcomed by her dear relatives. And by her beloved Jane, with whom she had so much to share.
∞∞∞
The story related by Elizabeth astounded her companions.
Jane suffered for her sister’s distress, as well as for Mr. Darcy’s dangerous accident.
She was pleased that no greater harm had been done, but was grieved that Elizabeth was forced into a marriage that she most likely loathed.
It was common knowledge that Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet had always hated each other.
“We had quite a fright when we received your express,” Mr. Gardiner said.
“I sent the carriage the next day, but somehow, you had time to become engaged to Mr. Darcy in such a short while. How did this happen? I believed he disliked you, and that he always looked at you only to find fault. This is what you repeated to us again and again when we visited Longbourn at Christmas.”
Elizabeth felt her ears burning with embarrassment.
“I can hardly know myself, Uncle. I believed the same, but apparently, I was wrong. Mr. Darcy confessed that he has always held me in high esteem. He claimed I had saved his life, which I know not to be true, and he was upset with the gossip, that he said could ruin my future. His aunt was also angry and blamed me for some imaginary fault. So did Mr. Collins and even Charlotte, to some degree.”
“Well, Mr. Darcy was right. Such rumours would have indeed soiled your family’s name and most likely your chances at a good marriage. Very considerate of him that he accomplished his duty of honour.”
“Yes. But when he proposed to me, I was surprised, furious about the entire situation and mostly displeased. So at the beginning, I refused. I could not imagine entering into a lifetime commitment because of some silly and false rumours.”
“You refused Mr. Darcy?” Mr. Gardiner cried in astonishment. “So he came to offer you marriage and save you from scandal and you refused him???”
Elizabeth smiled.
“Yes. I asked him to return later in the day, to give him my final answer.”
“You refused Mr. Darcy and asked him to return later?” Mrs. Gardiner repeated. “Lizzy, do you know who the Darcys are? I grew up in Lambton, as you know, and I have known the family quite well. Do you realise that probably half of the ladies in London would do anything to marry him?”
Elizabeth smiled and felt her cheeks burning. She could not share the secret of his hidden passion, but it was precisely the question that had troubled her over the last fortnight. When half of the women in London were willing to marry him, how was it possible that he had fallen in love with her?
“I imagine that is true, Aunt. But he asked me to be honest and I answered from the heart. I wished everything to be clear before we agreed to such an arrangement.”
“And he did not mind?” Mr. Gardiner enquired. “I am dumbfounded that he returned. He should have left and never returned. He had done his duty, you refused him – good riddance.”
Elizabeth smiled.
“No; I do not believe he did mind. And he did return,” she answered, suddenly having a better understanding of the situation. He had overcome his wounded pride and returned, despite the fact that in those papers he had declared he did not intend to marry her. What had changed in the meantime?
“This is unbelievable. Extraordinary!” Mrs. Gardiner exclaimed.
“But Lizzy, you have always hated Mr. Darcy,” Jane whispered.
Elizabeth answered reluctantly.
“So I thought. But, once I came to know him better, I realised some of my previous judgments had been wrong. He is a man with many faults, and his pride, vanity and temper might be the greatest of those faults. But he has a good character and a good nature. He appears to be cold and insensitive, but he possesses more and deeper feelings than he allows others to see. And he is willing to admit his faults and to remedy his errors; this was what improved my opinion of him.”
“Well, my dear, I am glad to hear that! It was painful to hear your poor opinion of Lady Anne Darcy’s son and I was praying you were wrong. I am glad I was right. What about Mr. Wickham?”
Elizabeth became uneasy.
“I do not know. It is the final thing that concerns me. But, while I have had some confrontations with Mr. Darcy about our past misunderstandings, it was not the time nor the place to discuss Mr. Wickham’s story.”
Mr. Gardiner cleared his throat.
“Elizabeth, I do not wish to sound inconsiderate, but, if Mr. Darcy’s behaviour towards you and your family is as you expect it to be, I would not open the subject of Wickham with him.
Honestly, as long as in the present and future he treats you with care and respect, you should not bother with his past in any way, especially concerning another man.
Often men have reasons to fight, of which the ladies are not aware, nor should they be. ”
“I agree on this,” Mrs. Gardiner interjected.
“You must only discuss with Mr. Darcy what concerns you and your family. Dear Lizzy—married to Mr. Darcy? Do you think I might visit Pemberley one day? Only briefly? I have always admired it from afar, but I have never been invited inside. Oh, Lizzy—it is the most beautiful place in the world!”
“Of course you may. Mr. Darcy said my family will always be welcome in my house. I look forward to seeing Pemberley too,” Elizabeth responded, while she felt again the weight of her new position burdening her shoulders.
Their conversation was interrupted by the maid announcing that there was a man with a note for Mr. Gardiner and that he was waiting for a reply.
Surprised and slightly worried, they waited for the gentleman to open the letter and read it with apparent curiosity. Then he lifted his eyes to them.
“It is from Mr. Darcy,” he said. Strangely, Elizabeth felt chills down her spine while she waited anxiously. The whole day she had wondered when he would call or write to her.
“He enquires if Elizabeth has arrived in town safely and asks for permission to visit us tomorrow. He also enquires if his cousin, Colonel Fitzwilliam, and Mr. Bingley may join him.”
Silence fell in the chamber until Jane let out a small cry and her cup of hot tea fell in her lap.