Chapter 23
CHAPTER
TWENTY-THREE
Violet
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. My head’s being pulled in so many directions, and I can’t concentrate.
“Vi? Did you see the latest QB? People want to know if you’re…” Rue mimes the biggest pregnant belly I’ve ever seen which earns her a pillow to the face from Iris.
We’re upstairs in my bedroom as Mom get things ready here for the party announcing Stephan’s claim of me.
Mari looks at me over her sketchbook as Iris tugs the dress tight at my waist. “Did you know your mate’s aunt Penrith sent a team of household servants over for us to use from now on?”
“You can’t call them that,” Dahlia says. “They get paid.”
“Workers?” Rue says. “Any good seamstresses?”
“When it’s your turn, Rue, I’ll make you sacks to wear.” Iris glares .
Rue grins. “I can rock a sack. I’ll start a trend.”
She probably will. “Can you make that less…tight?” I ask.
“Nope.” Iris shakes her head. “They’re gonna be looking right there.” She pokes my belly. “Rue isn’t wrong about the rumors.”
“But I haven’t?—”
“We know. Look, you’ve got a mark. A movie star’s mark, too. So everyone’s gonna be talking about your ceremony dress and pups next.” Iris rolls her eyes.
“She’s right,” Dahlia says.
So I let my sister poke and prod as she pins the dress. It’s beautiful, the material a thick green-black silk, the heaviness giving it a nice drape, and I feel at once grown up in it. And like something is very, very wrong.
I’m beginning to hurt, cramp low in my belly, and I don’t know if it’s the thick fabric of the dress but I’m sweating.
I really need to talk to Stephan. His marking me has me more confused than ever. He’d promise he’d find a way to not follow the Monarch’s mandate, and then he does this, so I need to know why. And why he kissed me like that…touched me like that…
My stomach aches, and I groan.
It’s my heat. It has to be.
Before Dominic had turned into a complete monster, he had mentioned being able to sense it, even with the blocker concealing my scent. Stephan could’ve been wrapped up in his instincts too. It could’ve taken over and made him?—
Regardless, what’s done is done. Stephan marked me and now we’re linked together. Destined to be mates. The Monarch got exactly what she wanted.
“What’s wrong?” Iris whispers. “Apart from everything.”
“Everything. What if…if he doesn’t…” I can’t say love , because for him it was never on the table. “What if he doesn’t want me?”
“Then he should have kept his mouth off you.” Iris tugs tight on the back of the dress. “Stop ripping yourself in all directions trying to make the world happy. What about you ?”
Me? I almost laugh. I’m both the least important and most valued player in this. I have the power to make others happy here. It’s just that to do it for one side means the other is hurt or trapped.
But I nod, smile, and she carries on.
The doorbell rings and Rue flies out the door.
Downstairs there’s a flutter of female voices and then commands are thrown out. I can’t make out what, but I know the tone.
“What shoes?” Mari asks, looking over. “Heels in silver or gold? I’ve got spray paint if you need it. And should we use the diamond tiara?”
Panic starts to bear down. I don’t need to play into the princess motif even more. “No, I…no.”
Iris accidentally jabs me and I jump. “Sorry.”
“O.M.G.!” Rue’s back. “The Monarch sent a train of food and desserts. Mom almost fainted when she saw it all! Oh, I can’t wait for tonight. Show me your bite again!”
Downstairs, the music’s already started and the babble of people fills the air. It doesn’t soothe; it weighs me down and not even Stephan’s arrival helps. I know when he walks in. I know he’s anxious, a little buzzed by this. It permeates me. Scares me, too.
Because it means I’ll have to go down soon.
As a fanfare rises, his aunt, the Council Monarch, is announced.
Now I really have to get down there.
Iris knocks as she walks in. For once, she’s put on a party dress.
“I got these.” She hands me long black gloves. “And something else.”
She hands me a small bottle. “Anti-anxiety pills. Quinn got them and gave them to me for you. Contraband from the mainland.”
Iris goes to the mirror and starts applying more eyeliner and lipstick.
My hands shake as I open the bottle, and I dry-swallow two.
“They’re strong, so be careful.” Iris sets down the mascara and sees the lid still off. “How many did you take?”
“Two.”
“Should be fine. Let’s get you ready, Cinderella.” She fixes my hair, pinning it up then pulling strands artfully down. “We leave the bite on display.”
I touch it, and it’s hot and a wave of desire suddenly passes through me. “Really? ”
“Apparently, it shows he owns you.” Iris finishes fussing and settles the tiara on, taking her time. “Barf.”
Then she fusses with the heavy satin, until it’s just right.
“I look…luxe.”
“You do.” She laughs. “Are the pills kicking in? You feel less tense?”
“Maybe.” I don’t want to ruin the vibe. The aches and nausea recede, and there’s peace and happiness everywhere inside.
Whatever the fallout, we’ll deal with it.
Later.
I head downstairs after Iris. And when I enter the great room turned ballroom, the crowd hushes as Stephan walks over.
Everything flip-flops in me. He’s the most handsome man, even with that neatly trimmed scruff. But when he smiles, it’s stiff. Forced. And something inside me dies.
Something’s wrong. No one else seems to notice, but I can sense it.
It’s an act.
Before I can read too much into it, he takes my hand and sweeps me into a dance. My focus shifts to the pressure of his palm against my lower back and how good he feels. His nearness. His oak scent.
Then, Stephan leans in. “Are you stoned?”
“No, Iris got me some meds to help with my…nerves.”
He eases me closer. “We have good therapists in Emporia. To help manage your panic attacks.”
Emporia.
Suddenly the fantasy fades. “We don’t have to do this.”
“We do, Princess. I marked you. ”
“But in the maze… You…”
“I know,” he whispers. “When I saw that scumbag touching you, I…I don’t know. I lost it.”
“Why? If Dominic marked me, then we?—”
He growls. “Don’t even say his name.”
I clamp my lips shut as he whirls us around the floor. After a moment, he grits his teeth, like the topic is causing him pain. “You didn’t look like you were enjoying him making a claim to you.”
“I didn’t.”
“Then I don’t regret anything I did.”
“Not even marking me?” I ask.
As the song ends, he hesitates with his answer. Instead, he settles with “We’ll talk more about it later,” before going over to Rue, bowing, and asking her for the next dance.
My sister’s face lights up, and she makes him pose for a selfie before skipping to the dance floor.
“He surprised me.” Heath is suddenly at my side. Dressed in a navy suit and his hair swept back from his face, he looks more like Dad than ever before. “I didn’t think he had it in him.”
I frown. “I’m not sure how to respond to that.”
Heath kisses my cheek. “He cares about you, Vi. I should have seen it sooner, but…”
“He’s a good actor?” If Stephan convinced my brother he feels anything for me, then he’s award-worthy.
“I wasn’t ready to let you go.”
That takes me aback.
“It wasn’t right for me to make you take on this responsibility. It should have been mine,” he goes on .
“Heath, you already have so much on your plate. It’s?—”
“It wasn’t fair to you,” he insists. “Stephan told me what Stockton did.”
My veins ice over. “He did?”
Heath nods. “Let’s just say he’s lucky he only got an ass beating. If I’d known…”
He’d be dead . I hear the threat loud and clear.
“But I know Stephan will hold up his promises,” he says. “He’ll be a good mate to you.”
And love me?
But the song ends, and Stephan leads Rue back to Mom before heading our way. Heath gives me a slight smile and touches my arm before walking away.
I look at Stephan.
“Can we talk? Alone?”
“Without a chaperone? Is that allowed?”
“You’re marked,” he says, face and emotions blank—I can’t read him. “We’re basically mates, so the same rules don’t apply anymore.”
“Okay.” It feels like my insides are quivering, but the medicine Iris gave me is making things float through me instead of weighing me down. I can feel the nerves, the pangs in my stomach, but only simmering under the surface.
I follow him outside to the garden that’s ablaze with big, full blooms and beautiful bright colors. The sun is starting to sink below the horizon and fireflies blink around us. We’re alone out here and drift farther away from the noise of the party inside.
He turns to me. “Princess. Violet,” he corrects, and then frowns. Uncertainty swims in his gaze. “I want you to know that I…I don’t regret marking you.”
My breath hitches. “You don’t?”
“No. Our relationship may have started out as fake, but there’s always been something there drawing me to you.”
“Then why do you look like you’re about to go to the gallows instead of our mating ceremony?”
He rubs his lips together. “Because I can’t give you what you want.”
I study him, confused. “What do you mean?”
“Children. I can’t give you children. A proper pack.”
I’m suddenly struck with a chill.
“I’ve tried to let you find an Alpha who could give you everything you want,” he says, “but I’m also a selfish bastard. Just the thought of you with someone else makes me want to tear out throats.”
He closes his eyes briefly, and when he opens them again, they shine with a level of truth I’ve never seen from him before. “It’s selfish for me to ask you to go through with the mating ceremony, for you to give up another dream just to be my mate. You’ve already given up so much for your family, and I don’t want to take anything else from you.”
My heart breaks. This is clearly a struggle for him, to confess to me something he’s been worried about telling me for some time. But he does care about me. At least enough to give me a choice.
“It won’t be pretty, but I had come up with a plan before the maze situation happened. I was going to get so caught up in a scandal that it would leave the Monarch no choice but to give you an out,” he says .
“But then what would happen to you?”
“She’d most likely banish me.”
I gasp. “Banishment? But your career?—”
“I would figure something out. Now that I’ve marked you, it makes things a little more complicated, but maybe if?—”
“I don’t want an out,” I say. “I don’t.”
He stares at me and his brow wrinkles. “Did you hear me? I can’t ever give you kids.”
“I heard you. And there are other ways to become a mother or have a pack.” I shrug, pretending as if it doesn’t bother me like it does. But I can’t have him sacrifice himself because of me. “We can adopt or foster. My sisters are bound to have a handful of kids. I’m sure our house will be full every weekend with nieces and nephews.”
“You’re…okay with this?”
I offer him a small smile. “We started this fake relationship together, and we’re going to see it through.”
He gently touches the edge of my bite mark. “As something real.”
My heartbeat races and excitement floods me. “Only if that’s what you want,” I say.
Laughing, he wraps his arms around my waist, hoists me into the air, and spins. “Who wouldn’t want a princess of their very own?”
And in that moment, with my feet off the ground and fireflies twinkling like earthly stars all around us, I think I can do this.
Because…because I’m pretty sure I’m falling for him.