Chapter 6
Chapter Six
Violet
The afternoon was hot, but the porch was shaded, and I had the kittens sitting on my lap. Their bellies were full of the food Evander and I had picked up yesterday. They were sleeping, and I was gazing at the green pastures around the property. A mix of Black and Red Angus milled across the rolling green hills. Occasionally, a moo would cut through the air.
Sounds of pounding came from the shed. Evander was adding support beams for the roof and muttered something about how that’d do, but I’d have to eventually replace the shed. I’d asked if he wanted help, and he’d given me an are you serious? look and stomped out of the house.
If I thought he had been in a shitty mood after I arrived, it was nothing compared to the last twenty-four hours. Pretty much right after we ran into his sweet, almost timid mother .
I didn’t expect an explanation of the awkwardness in the air between them, but it would’ve helped me understand him. His mother clearly loved him, and Evander had been uncomfortable with the attention. He’d closed up since then. It wasn’t what he said, it was that he said even less. He became a storm that raged within the confines of the wall cloud. He didn’t lash out verbally, and he wasn’t physical. Evander put himself to work as if he could out manual labor whatever feelings were roaring inside of him.
He had family issues. Clearly.
I ran my finger over one kitten’s head and along its fuzzy little body. I had used Evander’s computer to update my resume and check out the other requirements for working at the refinery.
The application window closed soon, but I hadn’t applied yet. I had to make sure I crossed each t and dotted every i . I was stalling, just a tiny bit. Every job had its own environment. How was the refinery lab to work in?
My job at Oswell was enough to show me that I might love the science, but it was the people and the environment that were critical to actually liking work. Some of my former coworkers were good friends. I’d miss them. But too many were like Willis—arrogant to the point of insulting. I had loved my now ex-boyfriend, but I had changed careers from education to a private lab after working with him for two years. All that aside from the fact that I had always planned to work in the oil and gas industry.
Willis had scoffed at the field. If it wasn’t academia, it wasn’t respectable.
I liked my fellow quirky chemists. The ones who could talk my ear off about the grapes they grew for their DIY wine, their family, or all the different types of guitars and how their construction changed the sound. But one Willis type in the workplace was one too many. And it seemed that no matter what lab I was in, there was always a Willis type.
I closed my eyes and drew in a slow breath. I had no idea if I’d get the job in the first place. Honestly, my stress was more about showing up to a new job pregnant and losing credibility than it was with dealing with smug coworkers. Besides, I wouldn’t be going home to the same attitude with my next job.
I’d look at other openings in the area tomorrow. I needed some cat cuddles to fortify myself. After I applied, whether I stayed or left wouldn’t be up to me, and my nerves balanced on edge. I wouldn’t get any support from the cranky man in the shed.
We were set to go to his parents’ place in an hour. Nerves had begun circling in my belly, but we wouldn’t be lying to them that much. Evander and I weren’t seeing each other, but I was sort of on a long vacation. This time together would help us determine how well we could co-parent together—not that they’d know that yet.
Evander had never said that he was willing to co-parent. Not even after I told him I’d rather he gave up his rights.
Did I want him to? No. It wouldn’t be easy for a kid to grow up wondering why a parent voluntarily agreed to stay out of their life. But it’d be easier. I could do as I wanted. I’d have the freedom I often felt I lacked when I lived with Willis.
“Goddammit!” Evander’s shout rang across the lawn.
I gently set the cats down. Their tired protests didn’t keep them from being tiny gobs of gelatin. Once they were off me, I jogged to the shed. The door was propped open, and Evander’s big back faced me.
He looked fine—so fine —but I couldn’t see an issue. “You okay?”
He spun around, nearly knocking his head on the sagging plywood of the ceiling. “Don’t come in here. It’s not safe.”
I stayed where I was. The shed was empty, except for his tools, and was nothing but worn wood and a saggy ceiling. “I thought you said it was safe enough for the cats.”
“They’re so tiny they won’t get crushed.”
I cocked a brow. “You were willing to risk it?” He was right, but I was irritated with him. He shut down in the store after meeting his sweetheart of a mom. He’d been absent from the house all last night and today, but he hadn’t gone anywhere. Had he hand-weeded each and every pumpkin plant?
I didn’t have a right to any of what was going on in his life, but the hurt didn’t listen to reason. I was nothing to him when that night together, he’d made me feel like everything.
He fully turned, cradling his hand. “The cats would’ve been fine if the roof collapsed. They’d have skedaddled after the first creak. You wouldn’t have been fine, and I haven’t seen you run, but I wasn’t going to gamble that you could sprint as fast as them.”
A tiny tendril of warmth looped around my heart. He was worried about me?
He was a good human, at least.
I took a couple of steps back and waved at him. “What happened? I can take a look.”
He clutched his hand tighter to himself. “ I’m fine.”
Stubborn man. “Then what happened?”
His teeth were going to turn to nubs from the way he ground them together. “I got a sliver.”
A laugh sputtered out. He wouldn’t react like this from a sliver. “I can still help.”
His eyes narrowed. “I’m fine.”
“You obviously have shit going on with your family—the ones we’re meeting in less than an hour—and you’ve been quieter than a church mouse. But you get a sliver and yell so loud the whole county can hear? You’re not fine, and I happen to have a lot of experience removing slivers from my siblings.”
We faced off for several moments. His gaze was flat, but deep down, emotions swirled. Did he ever let them out?
Why wasn’t I backing down? He didn’t want my help.
Yet on some level, I sensed that he needed it. Or it was just wishful thinking. I hated feeling like a freeloader. I was using his computer, living in his house, and eating his food. I didn’t mind Billings, but I’d rather be jobless here than surrounded by neighbors who were gone all day and hated me for my California license plates.
Every time I ran into one, I said, “Hi, I’m Violet. I’m moving back to Billings.”
It’d helped a little. Not as much as my new Montana plates.
“Fine.” He stomped out of the shed. The only way he could walk today.
“Fine is a third of your vocabulary. Be careful you don’t use it up.”
He stopped and gawked at me.
I smirked and strode past him. “I have tweezers, but depending on how embedded it is, I might need a pin.” I squinted at the partly cloudy sky. “Why don’t you sit on the steps? The light is better outside.”
I waited at the top of the stairs to see if he’d actually listen. To my surprise, he plopped his ass on the top step and kept his hand cradled to his chest. The militant expression was still in place. I could work with that.
Pleased, I went to the front door. “I’ll be right back.”
I grabbed my nail kit and found a bottle of spray antiseptic in a small white box in the bathroom. Inside was antiseptic with a label I didn’t recognize, wipes, and bandages. Just in case, I brought the whole thing with me.
The kittens were snoozing in a sunbeam, oblivious to us.
“Where’d you get this stuff, or did it come with the house?” It looked old enough.
“From a medic’s kit.”
“Were you a medic?”
“No. Infantry. But we had plenty of kits around to raid.”
I gestured for his hand. When he opened his fist, a giant chunk of wood fell out, and a few drops of blood hit the boards.
“Oh my god.” I stuffed a tissue in his hand and closed his fingers back over them. I couldn’t see any other wooden shards. “That wasn’t a sliver.”
“Compared to the whole two-by-four, it’s a sliver.”
I nudged him. “Stop it. I might think you have a sense of humor.”
“I have a sense of humor.”
As much as I wanted to hang on every word, I feared he might quit talking if he noticed I cared. I took his hand and gently uncurled his fingers. I put the tissue on the floorboards next to me. There wasn’t much new blood welling up.
I propped his hand on my lap and opened the kit on the step between our feet. When I leaned over for an antiseptic wipe, my belly brushed his hand. A small touch, but my body lit up, remembering how good he was with his hands.
Focus, Violet.
He was quiet while I dabbed at the drying blood and angled his hand to get a good view. There must be a few slivers left behind.
“Everything’s changed,” he said quietly.
I held in an encouraging smile. He didn’t strike me as a guy who opened up to people. I kept quiet to prompt him to keep talking and continued to clean off his skin. He had two good-sized slivers and a smaller one I might need a needle for.
“My dad and I…we didn’t get along. Mom and I fought a lot. They were servants to my uncle and my grandparents. I got tired of calling it out and getting told to keep my mouth shut and do as they said.”
I paused and peered at him. His gaze was glued to his hand. Had he ever shared this with anyone, or was it the upcoming visit with his parents that was bringing it up? “You wouldn’t do as you were told, so you left and joined the army ?”
The corner of his mouth ghosted up. “That’s what—” His jaw went rigid, and he tore his attention away from his hand to stare down his driveway. “It’s ironic.”
Curiosity tore at me. What had he been going to say?
I used the tweezers to get the first sliver. “And now? You said everything is different.”
“My uncle is an asshole. Was? Fuck, I don’t know. People seem to like him now. God help me if people talk highly of Aunt Naomi.”
I snickered. “She scared me.”
“She scared everyone. Cameron bullied everyone. My dad did whatever he was told. My grandparents.” He let out a derisive snort. “Uncle Cameron learned it from somewhere.”
I tugged at the second big sliver. It was proving more challenging, but Evander didn’t flinch. “My dad used to say the only bad part about working for Cameron was that he would never retire. That’s why Dad took the job at King Oil when the owner retired. But Dad and Cameron never hung out as buddies.”
“All the land. All the oil money. It just gave them an excuse to behave badly.” He shook his head.
“Them” must be Cameron and Evander’s grandparents. “Was your dad in a tight spot?”
“Yes, but it shouldn’t have mattered. Then there’s Aunt Kira, but I guess she’s always on some tropical vacation with a different guy.”
“So you left when there was Yellowstone -type drama and came back to a Hallmark movie?”
He blinked at me. I was rewarded with a small smile. “Yeah, but I don’t trust it. They probably forced everyone right where they wanted them, and now they’re happy.”
My family was chaotic but mellow. I couldn’t fathom going home to a drama-filled house. “So you’re nervous about tonight?”
“The last time didn’t go so well.”
“When was that?” The second sliver came out. “Yes!”
He did a double take, but I buried myself back into tackling the last sliver. Squinting, I moved his hand in different directions. A tiny portion was sticking out. I dabbed at the tiny bit of seepage from where the larger shard pierced him.
“The night we met.”
I stopped what I was doing. “Really?”
“I probably wouldn’t have hooked up with you if I wasn’t so pissed at them.”
Hurt cooled off that lasso of warmth around my chest. “Swoon.”
He lifted his other shoulder. “It’s why I agreed to grow goddamn pumpkins for Isla.”
A one-night stand that resulted in a baby was on the same level as pumpkins? “You were told not to?” I stuffed my feelings away and continued to attack the last bit of wood.
“He said it was a waste to rent land. He asked what’d happen if I planted a crop and then got my lease yanked out from under me.”
Shame crept up my cheeks. Good for me for not trying to run him off sooner. I’d been so focused on me and the baby, but Evander was in the same boat. We could go anywhere, but something tied us to Coal Haven. He could afford this place, and I wasn’t sure I could. I needed a husband to do it anyway. So why was I trying to get him to move out when his lease was done?
I retrieved the last sliver. Triumphant, I wiped off his hand again. “Want a bandage?”
“Nah. It’ll come off when I shower.”
I checked my phone. “Better go do it. We have to leave in fifteen minutes.”
He stared at me. We were sitting close enough I could count the speckles of amber in his whiskey eyes. His smell was comforting. Soap and fabric softener. Fresh linen. This close, I caught a faint whiff of the woodsy aftershave he used—also mild smelling.
“I don’t like being bossed around,” he said, almost teasingly.
“Then you hooked up with the wrong woman.” Defensiveness flared in his eyes despite the humor in my tone. He was prickly. I tossed the tweezers and gathered the dirty wipes and tissues. “Although you know very well there are times when I like to be told what to do.”
At his sharp inhale, I left him at the top of the stairs.
Bruce and Willow Barron’s place was a tall farmhouse, square with a steeply pitched roof and a cute, peaked overhang over the front door. The farmyard was tidy with two giant shops, one red and one tan. A barn almost as big as the shop loomed farther away from the house.
Evander hadn’t said a word the entire way. I couldn’t complain. I got to admire the green pastures and full fields of sunflowers, wheat, and corn. He didn’t need to talk. I was content. But still, was this the guy who struck up a conversation with me?
Guys did a lot to get laid. All Evander had to do for me was open his mouth. He’d caught me at the right time. Would there have been a time I turned him down?
When he parked, I slipped out and met him around the front of the pickup.
Willow waved to us from the front door. “Come on in, guys. Bruce is still out in the field.”
Entering the house was like going back in time to when my mom used to cook for a family of eight every night. Savory smells filled the air, and pots clanged from the kitchen. Then as we got older and her writing career took off, Alder and I had to take over. For now, I reveled in the memory of good food and a cozy home.
The smell of roasting meat filled the air, and my stomach growled.
Evander maneuvered me toward the living room, a warm hand on the small of my back. “You need any help?”
Willow fanned her oven mitt at us. “No. I threw an elk roast in the oven. I hope you don’t mind elk meat, Violet.”
“It’s been a while,” I said, the hunger morphing into nausea in my stomach. My morning sickness said better late than never today. “Sounds delicious.”
My stomach might’ve churned at the different species of food, but I’d suck it up. The scent in the air helped.
Evander didn’t take his boots off, so I kept my sandals on and padded farther into the homey living room. There were two entrances, two exits and a set of stairs on one end. The windows were as squat as the rest of the room, but it was inviting. Crocheted blankets and throws draped over the couch and recliners. Pictures littered the walls and mantel.
I drifted closer. Familiar and unfamiliar faces smiled out from the photos. There was one of a much younger Evander, his hair cropped tightly to his head. He wore aviator sunglasses and less rumpled cargo pants. The younger guy next to him was grinning, and they had their arms slung around each other.
My mind worked over the face. “I recognize him, but I can’t remember his name. ”
“That’s Derek,” he said, his voice rough as sandpaper. “My brother.”
I frowned. “I thought you said?—”
“He died.”
I sucked in a breath. Way to step in it, Violet . Sympathy welled, and I wanted to embrace him. From the rigid way he was standing, it’d be like hugging a brick. “I’m sorry.”
“Me too.” He cleared his throat.
Our conversation from earlier ran through my head. “Did he give you a hard time about joining the army?” My brothers would give each other shit about a major life decision like that.
Evander nodded, his body rigid. “He always made smart-ass comments about me following someone else’s orders.”
I moved on to another photo, worry gnawing at me that I crapped on his day more by bringing up his brother.
“It was an aneurysm,” he said. “While he was driving.”
This time, I couldn’t stop myself from comforting him. I gave his hand a brief squeeze. “I’m sorry.”
He gripped my fingers back, so I didn’t let go.
“Stetson and Isla,” I muttered when I reached a picture of them with their parents. It had to be twenty years old. Isla was still a lanky young teen, and Stetson was a young man with a charming grin and serious eyes. Bordering that photo was one of each of their families. “Adorable.”
I sidestepped, and he came with me, our fingers still intertwined.
“Holden and his wife Emery,” he said at the next one.
“A lot of kids.”
He grunted his agreement. He tipped his head to another couple with two little kids. “Holden’s sister, Nora, and Colt. He used to work for Aunt Kira.”
“From what you said about your family, can I guess that was a story?”
“You’d guess correctly.”
Smiling, I moved to another one. “Oh, I recognize Ansen and Aggie. That must be Archer. Aggie is Eliot’s sister.”
“Small world,” he said, not telling me that I was repeating myself. Willis would’ve been smug about it.
“It is. People don’t understand how small of a world rural communities are.”
“The army was like that.”
His fingers twitched in mine. His troubled gaze was on another set of frames.
In it was a couple that was probably a little older than me, with two boys that were likely twins and two little girls. The man was familiar, but like with Derek, I couldn’t come up with a name. “Who are they?”
“That’s Kennedy. Derek’s wife.”
“Oh.” Didn’t his mom mention a Kennedy in the store with another guy’s name? “And him?” I pointed to the man with her.
A muscle in his jaw popped. “Liam. Derek’s best friend.”
“Oh.” I didn’t know the timeline, but that had to have been hard. Was Evander upset Kennedy moved on with Liam?
“He’s Cameron’s kid. From an affair we weren’t allowed to acknowledge even though it killed Liam’s mom.”
Shock ricocheted around my skull. “Seriously?” I was not prepared for this level of Barron drama. No wonder Evander had left it all behind.
He glanced behind us. A large truck with a flatbed loaded with round bales coasted past the window. Was that his dad? Would he be as critical of me as Evander said his dad had been about him? We were supposed to be pretending, but I didn’t care to wither under a parent’s disapproval like I had with my ex.
Dishes clanged in the kitchen, and Willow’s humming reached us.
Evander must’ve determined the coast was clear because he leaned toward me. “Liam’s mom got told off by Cameron. She was distraught and crashed, killing her instantly. Liam was raised right next door, and Cameron forbade us from having anything to do with him.”
But Liam was Derek’s best friend. “Derek didn’t listen?”
He shook his head.
“Did you?”
“I didn’t care, but I was older than them and had more responsibilities.” His eyes flashed when he said the last part.
Poor Liam. That had to have been a hard upbringing in a small town like Coal Haven.
“Dad hated him.” Evander’s voice was so low I barely heard him. “Treated him like shit and told him he was worthless. Everything that went wrong was Liam’s fault.”
That was awful. I scanned the happy pictures on the mantel. “But their family photo is with all the rest of the cousins?”
“Like I said, everything’s changed.” He pulled his hand free from mine .
I clasped my hands together, needing something to do as my nerves slowly ramped up.
Willow appeared in the doorway. “Dinner is ready. Just in time. Bruce finally pulled in.”
She untied her apron, her eyes bright. This was a woman who loved her son, but she was ramrod straight. Prim and proper. Was she afraid one wrong word would chase Evander away again?
She’d already lost one kid. Evander’s absence must’ve been hard.
Evander returned to Coal Haven, and the life he’d known had been upended. The dynamics that had made up his family were different, and he struggled to adjust. Then I came along and changed it even more. No wonder he guarded himself from me.