Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Violet
I stared at the water heater that had to be from a different century. “Why did you have to start giving up now?”
A pipe creaked, and I jumped. I hated the basement. The musty smell was overpowering, and the lone light bulb in each room flickered. If a ghost appeared behind me, I’d apologize it was stuck in such a dank afterlife.
I scurried back upstairs before I could freak out more. At the top, I scrolled through my contacts and dialed my landlord. “Hi, Chad. It’s Violet Duke. Hate to add to your list, but the water heater is dying. Can you take care of that before it’s officially done for? Thanks. Bye.”
After I hung up, I sighed. His list would be smaller if he actually fixed anything. In the two weeks since I’d last talked to Evander, the oven fan had gone out, and my bedroom window leaked during a rainstorm.
If the stovetop went, all I’d be left with was the new microwave I’d bought .
This was what I got for avoiding Evander. For texting him he didn’t need to stop by last weekend. For replying to his message that no, I didn’t need anything from Rattler’s when he picked up his food.
I’d craved Rattler’s Alfredo for six damn days because of that text.
I pushed a hand through my hair. I had meant to protect myself, but this felt a lot like punishment. One call. That was all it would take. One call and Evander would be over to fix everything. He’d probably arrive with a brand-new water heater in the back of his pickup.
There wouldn’t be an us without a baby.
Why did that one line hurt so bad?
I didn’t intend to baby-trap Evander, and I would not babytrap him.
I could also make it longer than two weeks without him before having a breakdown.
God, I missed him. I missed talking to him. I missed having sex.
I ran a hand over my stomach. The few moments after we came together when he held me were my favorite. Those windows of time where it was just us. In those minutes, I could delude myself that it could stretch on forever.
My phone rang, and I rushed to answer, hoping it was the landlord to tell me this was the weekend he was fixing all the shit breaking down in this money pit.
It was my sister Poppy. “Hi,” I answered as if everything were rosy.
I’m fine. The baby’s fine. The house was…shelter. My basic needs were met. But I’d look for another rental soon. Hopefully nothing more expensive. And better quality. My hopes dipped .
“Violet!” Poppy’s excited voice came through the line. “Clover and I are coming up for the weekend. We’re almost to town and want to kidnap you and Lily. Are you free?”
When wasn’t I? “I’ll have to clear my entirely packed schedule.”
“You’re being sarcastic,” she chided, “but there was a time you would be so busy you could barely talk.”
Thanks for the kick to the ego. “And you’ll forever ask if I’m free to remind me of when I was needy and compliant.”
“Yup.” She had no shame.
“You’ll thank us.” Clover’s tinny voice came over the line. “If another Willis pops into your life, we’ll keep your memory fresh.”
“We’ll just run him off,” Poppy added. “We’re no longer scared of you.”
I laughed. “You should be.”
“You’d have to catch me, and I bet you can’t right now.”
I rested my arm on my growing stomach. “I’m not one of those moms doing marathons up until I give birth. When are you getting to town?” I grimaced and pressed my hand to my eye. “Um, the landlord is fixing a water heater issue. I’d love to entertain, but…”
“We’ll come pick you up,” Poppy said. “Then we’ll go to Lily’s. Eliot’s taking the kids to the ranch today to give her some me time.”
Gah. He was sweet. Evander would do something like that?—
I could not romanticize the man. He was a good guy, and he cared deeply. He did the right thing. He’d keep doing the right thing for the baby. He might think he feels something for me, but he was confusing the sex for a real connection. I’d spent years with someone and fooled myself that it was real love. I wasn’t letting someone else do it.
“But first, we’re taking you out to eat.”
“Sounds good.” I hung up, but the smile on my face faded. The sister time would be nice, but it was also fleeting. When Poppy and Clover left town, I’d return home to my lukewarm water alone.
Each day, it got harder to stick to my convictions. I missed Evander. I missed his updates about his parents and how each time he spoke about them, he was lighter and happier. I missed sitting at that table with him. Casual. He didn’t need to put on appearances or use me to boost his self-importance.
I hated this, but I’d thank myself in the end. When we were co-parenting and I was being a good example to my kid. I rubbed a hand over my stomach. Don’t let anyone diminish you, Bud . Don’t let anyone decide your path because it suits them. Don’t settle for less than real love .
Too bad—that was what I wanted the most with Evander Barron.
Evander
“When is the next appointment?” Mom neatly folded her napkin. Her plate was empty, and the dinner crowd was starting to filter in at Rattler’s .
“Couple weeks,” I said. I finished my burger and fries, but my appetite had been shit since I dropped Violet off at home for the last time.
“And you’re going?”
I nodded and folded my elbows on the table. She’d at least agreed to that. She hadn’t been letting me do anything else for her. I had fucked up. I’d moved too fast. It’d taken me over two decades to get over the betrayal in my past, and I had thought my dick had cured her.
Still, I missed her and couldn’t wait to see her again.
Dad was next to me in the booth, still eating because he’d chatted with at least three buddies since we’d entered. We’d had to wait twenty minutes to order because he’d been in the entry with another rancher from Crocus Valley. The side salad Mom had made him order instead of his usual smothered baked potato sat untouched beside his plate.
He tucked a cleaned rib bone next to the others and picked up the last one. “You still not seeing much of Violet these days?”
Thankfully, the growing crowd was getting louder. Dad’s rough voice got lost in the din.
“No. She hasn’t needed me.” The sour taste of that statement chased away the savory flavor of the burger lingering on my tongue.
He gave me a sidelong look. “You can still…talk.”
“She doesn’t want me to get the wrong idea.” Look at me telling my parents the truth about my lack of a love life instead of evading it. “She even wants me to keep renting the house until it goes for sale.”
Confusion lined Mom’s brow. “I’m trying to remember…when would that be?”
“If she doesn’t marry, I don’t know, six years? ”
Dad paused from chewing on his bone and swallowed. “That’s a lot of rent money. But it’s your decision,” he rushed to tack on.
I couldn’t even chuckle at the way he tried to make sure he was doing nothing more than making idle conversation. Six damn years. I had no idea what things would be like between me and Violet by then. Six years of this would be…fuck. “Yep.”
“But you don’t want to?” Mom asked.
I didn’t want the house. I wanted her. I’d give her more time, but what did I do until then? “I dunno. Kinda seems like kismet for Bud to have some connection to one of the houses in a town its mom grew up in.”
Both of my parents nodded. If I wasn’t miserable over Violet’s rejection, I’d appreciate how far I’d come with Mom and Dad in the last few months.
“Well,” Mom said, running her hands over her already folded and flat napkin, “you can stay in the house and keep trying to win her over.”
“Who says I want to—” Yeah, I couldn’t even pretend. “I really like her, but she doesn’t feel the same.” I clenched my teeth together. Fucking hurt to say.
Mom considered me. “Did you tell her that?”
“I told her I liked being with her.”
Dad lifted a shoulder but kept polishing off his last rib. “Was that it?”
“What else should I say? If she’s not into me, she’s not into me.”
“The baby suggests otherwise,” Dad muttered.
“That was the one time.” Except for all those other times she shuddered underneath me, calling my name. I couldn’t win her with sex if she didn’t invite me over.
“She was hurt before? Like you?” Mom asked .
“A little different, but yeah,” I answered.
“Then give her time. Be there for her. Show her that you aren’t that guy, just like she showed you that she’s not those other women.”
Hopelessness churned inside of me. It’d been months. I was being me. She didn’t want me. When did I push the line of being creepy versus persistent? When did I move on?
The young hostess walked past us, her hands full of the large, laminated Rattler’s menus. Two giggly women followed her, pointing at the fake snake curled in a corner of the beams. Dad said it’d been there for years. The kids loved it.
Lily was behind them, and next to her was Violet. Dark circles ringed under her eyes. Hadn’t she been sleeping well? Was she feeling okay? Otherwise, she was still the most beautiful damn woman I’d ever seen. Something about her drew me into her orbit, just like that first night I met her.
Her eyes flared, and she slowed. “Evander.”
Lily stopped and smiled. “Oh, hey.”
The lightness to her expression must mean Violet didn’t tell her sister she’d cut me off. Lily probably didn’t know just how close we’d gotten. Violet might not talk about me. My heart twisted.
“Thanks again for letting us come over.” Lily switched her attention to Dad. “Eliot’s still gushing about your food. He’s usually in charge of the grill, and I spent half the day afraid he’d push you out of the way.”
Dad wiped his fingers, delighted to have found another person to chat with. “Any time he wants to jump in. An old dog can always learn new tricks.”
Lily chuckled. “His tricks are pretty old dog too. ”
The other two women circled back, looking from us to Lily and Violet. I kept my attention on Violet. It felt like months since I’d seen her. My fingers itched to twine with hers.
“It’s so nice to see you again, Violet,” Mom said warmly, buying me more time.
“Nice to see you.” Violet smiled at her. She adopted a neutral expression when she switched her gaze to me. “Evander, you get to meet more of my family. This is Poppy.” She gestured to one of the women. They looked really similar. Both brunettes with light hazel eyes. She switched to the other woman. “And Clover. My other two sisters.”
“Evander?” Poppy said, pushing closer and inspecting me.
I was crowded against the window, but I extended my hand, giving them each a brief shake. When the introductions with my parents were done, the sisters scrutinized me. I might be sitting, but they sized me up from head to toe.
“Nice to meet you,” Clover said in a tone that meant it remained to be seen.
I dipped my head and shifted my attention to Violet. “How’s it going?”
“Good,” she said in a falsely light voice.
I narrowed my gaze. Did her sisters buy that? Or did they know what was wrong and it was none of my business? Unless I was what was wrong.
“Poppy and Clover took a week of vacation to visit all their siblings,” Violet explained. “Lily and I get to hang with them for the weekend.”
“Then we’re going to Buffalo Gully to nag Jasper—have you met him yet?” Poppy asked.
“No. Not yet.”
“Probably for the best,” Clover said. “He’ll put you to work. He takes his ranch manager job seriously.”
“If he ever needs a hand, I’m sure I can be spared around here,” I said.
Poppy and Clover blinked at me. Didn’t they believe me? Shouldn’t I have offered?
Lily grinned like she was in on some secret.
Poppy glanced behind her. “The poor girl is just waiting for us like she’s stranded on an island.”
The hostess with a deer-in-the-headlights expression lingered by a booth.
Clover waved. “I’ll go save her. Nice to meet you.”
Poppy faced me squarely. “Nice to meet you. It answered a lot of questions.”
What’d that mean?
“Nice to see you guys again.” Lily touched Violet’s elbow. “Take your time.” And she was off.
Violet adopted a look similar to the hostess.
“Must be so nice to have them in town.” Mom saved us from an awkward silence.
This time, Violet’s smile was genuine. “Yes. It really is. We never got to do this much.”
“Because you lived in California?” Mom asked.
Violet’s features grew pinched. “Yes. Because I lived so far away.” She pointed behind her. “I really should?—”
“Don’t worry about it.” I meant it. She needed time with her family, and I would not be the jackass holding it up, as much as I wanted to keep her talking. “I’ll see you in a couple of weeks.”
Her shoulders fell. “The appointment, yes. I’ll let you know if it changes.” With that awkward smile, she hesitated, then joined her sisters .
Dad pushed his plate to the edge. “Welp. That’s going to be a tough wall to climb. Good thing you’ve spent over twenty years learning how to get past defenses.”
Violet
“Quit staring at him,” I hissed to my sisters as they kept glancing in the direction of Evander’s booth.
Poppy craned her neck to see better. “They’re walking out. His back is to us.” She twisted back to face me. “That ass alone makes him a far better specimen than Willis.”
I gave her a flat stare, but I one-hundred-percent agreed. Lily snickered.
Clover grinned. “Come on. That’s the same upgrade Lily made going from Carter to Eliot.”
“Carter and Willis were a lot alike,” Lily agreed. “And Eliot and Evander have that swagger.”
Evander stalked, he didn’t swagger. “I’m not denying that Evander is hotter in every way.”
“I figured he had to be,” Poppy said. “I thought he must be smokin’ to get Violet to have a one-night stand.”
My jaw dropped, but indignation had nowhere to go. She was correct. “He’s also really considerate. He helped Dad put the nursery together.” And he’d fixed so many things in the house. He’d held a pumpkin-picking party.
Clover looked up from her menu. “So why weren’t you in that booth on his lap?”
As much as I hated reliving the last real conversation between me and Evander, I was grateful to unload on my sisters. I started at the beginning in the brewery and ended that day on the porch steps with kittens as witnesses. They listened, concern and confusion filling their gaze. Once the whole story was spilled, there was no confidence. No reassurance I was doing the right thing after hearing it all out loud.
“But you don’t know that he’s in it only for…Bud,” Clover said. “Bud’s not really a neutral name.”
“Better than It. Bud isn’t a psycho clown.” I shrugged. “You weren’t there after he learned he was going to be a dad. You didn’t see how militant he was about the paternity test. He didn’t trust me, and he’s only different because of the baby.”
“It sounds like he had a reason to be, but that doesn’t mean he’s not into you,” Poppy protested.
Lily scooted her menu to the side. She’d probably been to Rattler’s enough to know what she wanted. “I’ve tried to tell her, guys, but the tragedy of Vasectomy Willis continues.”
I scowled at my youngest sister, who used to be so afraid to upset me. Ever since her divorce, she’d been frank when it came to my relationships, or lack thereof. “There’s nothing wrong with being careful. I fooled myself about Willis for so long. Evander’s just doing the same. He’s seeing what he wants.”
“He looked exactly like he was seeing what he wanted when he spotted you earlier,” Poppy said.
I shook my head. “I don’t know what you mean. He isn’t looking at me any differently than normal.”
Poppy leveled me with a flat stare. “Your stubbornness is keeping you from what could be a great relationship. ”
My resolution wavered. What if they were right? What if he liked me for me and not because he was making the best out of his situation, trying to make me better than I was?
“Evander could be everything you were looking for in Willis,” Clover added. She held up her hands as if she expected me to argue. “Look, I know I don’t know him. I only shook his hand, which, by the way, was not a limp noodle like your ex’s. But Dad gushes about him—as much as he does about Eliot! And then there’s what she said.” She tipped her head at a beaming Lily. My youngest sister was probably thrilled about hearing Dad compliment her husband.
I know I liked hearing that about Evander.
“The pumpkin harvest.” Lily nodded as if that was all the explanation needed. “I’m telling you—the way he looked at her was the same.” Lily cast a smug glance my way. “He’s a man obsessed, and you’re convincing yourself it’s just about the baby.”
“It is,” I insisted, with less heat than before. “What if it’s a biological drive? Hormones. He doesn’t know he’s being influenced, and neither do I.” I couldn’t afford to uproot myself and move. There would be a baby involved. If he decided his feelings weren’t real, the broken heart I’d be left with would be like a nuclear explosion compared to the fizzling of my feelings for Willis.
“You’re a chemist, not a biologist, Violet,” Poppy said pointedly. “And she’s right. The longing in that poor man’s eyes. He could be in the middle of a single ladies’ cruise, and he’d never give another woman a second glance.”
I flicked my menu up, glad it was high enough to cover my stricken expression. It was like they thought this was easy. “None of you understand.”
“We do,” Clover said in the most serious voice she’d used all day. “That’s why we’re teaming up on you.”
“You didn’t team up on Lily,” I snapped, “when she was going to divorce Eliot before she got the house.”
“She didn’t tell us. Just Mom and Dad.” Hurt rang in her tone.
My irritation at their interference lessened, but it didn’t evaporate.
“Eliot had his own emotions to work out from his past,” Lily said gently. “And he did it and came back to me.”
“I’ll be waiting a while.” The devastation in his eyes when I told him no. It had upset him, saddened him. I told myself it was because he couldn’t be as close to the pregnancy or birth, but my sister’s words wormed their way into my head.
“He’s respecting your boundaries,” Clover said. “There’s a difference.”
Poppy nodded. “If you want something to change between you two, but you were the one who put the limits in place, then you’re going to have to be the one to break through the barrier first.”
Poppy’s insight hit like a brick but sank in slowly. I did set a limit. He obliged. But I didn’t see what they did. He looked at me the way he had always looked at me.