Chapter 21 - Avraam
Ever since we got back from our night on the yacht I am troubled. It’s like a gnawing thought that I can’t get rid of no matter how hard I try.
Maybe I’m not trying hard enough though—because in honestly—I want this.
But the truth is there.
I can’t ignore the fact that I am falling in love with her.
I never want to let her go. I want her to be with me forever—but her brothers are more determined than ever to get her back home with them and that causes a huge dent in anything I want.
I’m being selfish by keeping her here.
It’s eating away at me.
I have received a number of threats from Rodion. He has made it clear that if I don’t let his sister go by the end of the week he will reign hellfire down on my businesses.
And that means that my workers are at risk.
And because I know they won’t hesitate to kill—I know I am being unfair by wanting to keep her with me.
I am choosing between my own heart, my own selfish needs—and the safety of the people who work for me. I have never been this reckless in my entire life.
It should be an instant, easy choice.
But it isn’t.
I don’t want to lose her.
And every time I stand up to do exactly what I’m supposed to do—to release her—I sit back down again because my legs refuse to move another step.
I am not myself when I’m around her. I don’t think with my head. It’s like all logic, all reason just disappears. My heart takes over and makes stupid choices.
Like keeping her.
Keeping her is a stupid choice that I am making with my heart .
“Fuck,” I mutter in frustration.
What am I supposed to do? How can I fix this?
I haven’t told Ruslana about the threats her brothers have been making.
I am terrified that they will make a plan to kidnap her back. To take her from me by force. So, I’ve stopped letting her leave the house. She is back to being a prisoner in my mansion and she doesn’t understand why. I didn’t even take the time to explain it to her because I don’t want to put wedge between herself and her family.
On top of that—I have been avoiding her too.
The more I’m around her, the less clearly I am able to think.
I have to treat this like a business deal. There are pros and cons and risks to be weighed up.
I have to clear my mind and make my choices for the greater good—not just for myself. And I can’t do that if she is influencing me with her smile, with that beautiful laugh and just by being who she is.
I’ve spent most of the last few days out of the house and at one of my offices. Then at night when I get home, I eat quickly or go straight to bed to avoid a conversation with her.
I can tell she is annoyed and confused, but for now, it just has to be this way. I have to stay away from her as much as possible. I have arranged for extra guards to keep an eye on her and the mansion in case her brothers arrive.
Pacing around in my office at one of my businesses, Royce walks in.
“Sir, I heard you were worried about the brothers trying to take her by force. Are their threats getting that bad?” he asks, taking a seat at my desk even though I didn’t invite him to do so.
He leans back in the chair and flexes his fingers until they crack.
I glare at him, but he seems oblivious to my annoyance.
“The threats have not reached the point where they are saying they will take her by force. No, they’ve just threatened to cause shit at the businesses. But I am being cautious. I have extra security at the house.”
Royce leans forward, his hands knotted in front of him.
“You have security outside the mansion, right? I volunteer to be her personal bodyguard. I think it will be better if she has someone with her at all times. I can head over to the house now and then you won’t have to worry about any of her brothers. They won’t get past me.”
I narrow my eyes at him. Why the hell is it that he is so eager to be the first in line when it comes to anything to do with Ruslana? He has volunteered numerous times for anything that gets him close to her.
It’s starting to piss me off. It makes me wary of him and I can’t help but wonder what he is really up to.
But then again, he is just making a suggesting and offering to help.
I’m high-strung at the moment and probably just annoyed at everything. It’s not his fault that I feel like this.
I sigh, trying to calm myself down so that I don’t take my mood out on the people who work for me. Like Royce.
“No, that won’t be necessary.”
“Sir, I really think you—“
“I have already decided who I will be appointing as her guard. Thank you for the offer, but my mind is already made up.”
“I am the strongest man on this team,” he says aggressively.
“Royce, I suggest you stand up, walk out of my office and calm the fuck down. Don’t ever speak to me with that attitude again—do I make myself clear?”
He leans forward in the chair, resting his face in his hands. “Sorry, sir. I’m just stressed about the constant threat of her brothers looming over us.”
He switches so quickly from angry to apologetic. It feels fake.
He stands up, smiling, nodding and saying sorry. “Who is going to be looking out for her?”
“Dex will be doing it. You can go back to work in the warehouse. I don’t need you around the house today at all.”
I eye him closely, his micro-expressions hinting at what he’s really thinking. My instincts are telling me never to let him near her again, and especially not to leave her alone with him.
I remember how rough he was with her when he caught her. It was over the top, aggressive and violent. The way he pinned her on the ground in the garden was inappropriate and now that I am thinking about it again—I have such a possessive rage burning through me—the idea of him on top of her like that—it makes me want to kill him.
I take another breath when he is out of my sight. Dammit, I need to calm down or I will never come up with a solution. But I do want to put a personal guard with her. The men outside the house are not enough. But there is only one man who I feel comfortable having around her.
Picking up my phone, I dial Dex.
I tell him he has been assigned to watch over Ruslana at the house and that he isn’t to let the other guards near her—he is in charge of her.
I trust him with my life—and with hers.
I can’t be near her if I want to think clearly—but at least I know with him there she will be safe. That gives me peace of mind.
Fucking Royce needs to stay away from her—and if he knows what’s good for him he should stay away from me too for the time being.
I don’t know if I’m overreacting because I’m stressed out about this situation—but there is something about that guy that has bothered me too many times now. Only when it comes to Ruslana. He is far too interested in her.
Finally, after pacing up and down my office until I feel like my head is going to explode—I pick up the phone and call her oldest brother. I can’t put it off anymore. I have to face this head on. There is no other way around it.
“Roda speaking,” his deep voice answers calmly.
“Rodion, it’s Avraam. I think you and I need to have a face-to-face conversation. It’s time for us to talk.” I keep my voice as even as I can.
“I think that’s in the best interest of everyone involved,” he agrees.
We decide on a location that is in neutral territory and choose a time in the day when the area will be relatively busy with other people.
Neither of us wants to cause a scene. Not in public.
I feel better now that the plan has been made.
This meeting is only for talking. We have things to discuss and after that—well—whatever happens happens.
It’s time to bring this entire thing to an end. I can’t keep going on like this. I can’t be stuck in the rift between losing her and putting my people in danger. I’m not that person—the irresponsible selfish asshole who only thinks of himself.
I need to find a solution that will work for everyone.
Now I just have to stay away from her until after the meeting so that I go into it with a completely clear mind and no distractions.