Chapter 59
As I change into my nightgown and comb out my hair, I no longer feel the pulse of my powers demanding my attention.
There’s no sense of overheating, no itch, yet I’m bereft and unsettled.
Diminished. So annoyingly lonely. How often had I confined myself to my bedchamber back in Paramount and allowed myself to simmer in my despair?
Those were the moments when the cauldron of emotion soup boiled over and consumed me. When I lost control of my actions.
Not tonight. Tonight, I want to maintain control. I’m not ready to face those darker parts of me again.
I hurry out of my cabin and down through the tight corridor to Odgar’s door. Quietly, I rap three times, and only a heartbeat later, it opens, revealing Odgar’s perplexed face.
“Are you al—?”
Not giving him a chance to finish his sentence, I throw myself at him.
He starts to protest, but then his lips soften against mine and his muscles relax.
I press my hands against his tattooed chest, pushing him into his cabin and nudging the door closed with my heel.
Odgar’s hands slide into my hair as his tongue glides against mine.
The kiss is heady, fervent. Too many sensations and emotions fill me at once.
All impossible to pry apart. As Odgar’s mouth explores my neck, he drags me against his hard body.
Damp heat gathers low in my belly, between my thighs, as I reach down to fumble with the laces of his trousers before palming his growing cock through the fabric.
His intake of breath against my skin makes me grin.
“Carys,” he whispers. “Are—”
I slip my hand into his trousers and wrap my fingers around his thick length. He groans my name and the sound thrums through me.
“Are you sure you want to—”
My gaze is fixated on the arousal dominating his features as I stroke and he fails to finish his sentence again, his eyelids heavy, his breaths uneven.
Satisfaction curves my lips as my hand moves steadily.
“Carys …” He stills my hand with his. “Are you sure you want this?”
“If you don’t want this then—”
“I’ve wanted this—I’ve wanted you—for far longer than I should admit,” he says breathlessly. “But you’ve had a rough night, and I don’t want to take advantage of that.”
I’ve had many rough days and nights. It’s been nothing but a dark cloud of constant misery. I want to feel something else. I want to feel powerful in a way that has nothing to do with the flames I’ve inherited.
“I need this.” Desperation laces my words. I need him. “Don’t make me beg.”
His large hand cups my face, his thumb lightly tracing my lips. “You never have to beg me for anything, mineh kelsska.”
I nip at his thumb, and he pulls his hand away, surprised. “Then take your trousers off and get on the bed,” I say.
A spark of something lights up his face. Admiration? Amusement? The corner of his lips twitch, his eyes crinkling. “Yes, Your Majesty.”
I huff, starting to unlace the top of my nightgown. “I’m not queen yet.”
His hand hovers over his chest. “In here you are,” he says.
My fingers pause on the ties of my nightgown, my eyes roaming the symbols that span his chest, save for one spot over his heart.
The spot where his hand now rests. I expect him to look away, but his gaze latches onto mine, totally unabashed.
He removes his trousers, letting them slip to the floor.
An eager ache clenches in my core at the sight of him.
I remind myself to pull in a breath as I step closer and tug my nightgown over my head, casting it aside. “Didn’t I tell you to get on the bed?” I ask.
He smirks. “I don’t think that bed is large enough for the two of us.”
My eyes flick to the mattress then to Odgar’s impressive height and girth … I whip the furs off the cot, spreading them on the ground and gesturing to it.
Grinning, Odgar sprawls out on the furs, leaning back against his hands.
As he stares up at me, I’m painfully reminded of my gauntness and the scars that Briony couldn’t fully heal.
Yet Odgar looks at me as though I’m the most beautiful sight he’s ever beheld.
Perhaps I have the dim candlelight to thank for that.
I push my hair backward over my shoulders and sink to the floor, shoving Odgar onto his back as I straddle his broad waist. His chest undulates with a ragged breath, laughter seeping through. His hands move to my face, then lightly trail down my neck and over the small swell of my breasts.
“Carys …” My name on his lips is a plea.
I position myself over him, reaching between our bodies to press his tip against my entrance.
“Are you absolutely—” His breathless question is cut off by a pleasant sigh as I ease him into me.
I push past the doubt and fears, through the momentary discomfort as my body stretches, bit by bit, accommodating him.
Gods … The blissful look on his face puts another small crack in the icy exterior of my heart.
Flutters skitter across my stomach as it tightens.
I brace my hands on his sturdy chest, trying to breathe through the overwhelming fullness of him.
His eyes slide reverently down my body before he reaches between us to stroke his thumb over my clit.
My muscles relax and I roll my hips forward, eliciting a small moan that rumbles in his chest. I snatch his hand from between my legs and pin it against the floor.
A heartbeat later, I have both his wrists restrained.
His eyes widen, his hips rising in a way that drives him even deeper inside me.
A shuddery moan escapes me, drawing a slow grin across Odgar’s face.
He surrenders to me, practically boneless.
Those sunburst eyes stare into my soul as I rock lazily against him, adjusting, finding a rhythm.
He bites back a curse as I lift myself only to sink down again.
Slowly at first, savoring the sweet buildup, then with more reckless abandon.
Releasing his wrists, I press my hands against his chest for more leverage.
My nails dig into his flesh, raking down his chest. His back arches off the furs, a moan threaded with a mixture of pain and desire rushing past his lips.
I drive my hips down against him with fervor, until he wraps his arms around my back and tugs me down onto his chest. As he thrusts up into me, I let out a gasp.
My head falls onto the curve of his shoulder, my blood singing for more.
Odgar is still somewhat controlled. Until he isn’t.
His arm tightens around my waist and a yelp of surprise slips from me as he flips us.
Our connection breaks as he hovers over me, his hands braced on either side of my body.
Lips parted and face flushed, he dips his head to kiss along my neck and down to my tits.
My chest heaves, my body bereft and wanting, aching for him. My inner muscles clench around nothing. “Odgar, for fuck’s sake,” I groan, tilting my hips with impatience.
He laughs and repositions himself, pushing into me so slowly.
I lock my ankles around his back and yank.
He lets out a string of Uldaran words, his forehead lowered against mine as sparks of pleasure thread through me.
But then he remains still. I squirm beneath him.
“Odgar, I swear to the gods if you don’t move—”
He pulls back, then eases into me again. “You’ll what?” he dares. His voice is smooth as honey as he pulls out even more this time. When he slowly eases back inside me, I intentionally clench around his cock.
He hisses out an Uldaran curse, but his movements remain so intentionally, achingly, frustratingly slow. My heart is hammering as I wrap my arms around him, my inner muscles tightening needily, desperately. “More,” I moan against his shoulder.
Yet he keeps this slow pace, Uldaran words mixed with incoherent Common Tongue whispered across my flesh.
My breath catches, pressure building in my core as he shifts and sets my ankles on his shoulders.
The angle is agonizingly sweet, deeper, as he thrusts into me with increasing urgency.
Bliss graces every angle of his beautiful face as his fingers grip my thighs.
Deep groans resound with each movement of his hips.
Those sounds … Gods …
And the reverence in his eyes even as he pounds into me. This man was supposed to be my political gain.
And yet …
My heart may just implode.
I shut my eyes to avoid the longing in his, while my hips undulate of their own accord.
I clench my fists in the furs beneath me, unable to breathe, unable to think.
My focus breaks from the warring feelings in me, chasing euphoria as each crash of Odgar’s hips against me obliterates every torturous thought.
The harmony of our sighs and moans fills the cabin, Odgar’s pace picking up as he calls my name like a prayer. Like it’s the only word that matters.
Like I’m all that matters.
“Carys … Look at me, mineh kelsska.”
I open my eyes, not expecting the enamored smile on his lips. Not expecting his gaze to draw me in and fill me with a greater surge of emotions than I can handle.
“Let me see those eyes when you come,” he says.
They stay open for mere seconds before my head falls back, a shattered cry on my lips as the trace of smoke fills my nostrils.
Pleasure pulses deep and strong within my belly, leaving me quaking and whimpering beneath Odgar.
Tiny jolts of bliss continue to flow through me almost endlessly.
I’m breathless and buoyant and utterly spent.
In the afterglow of my release, I resurface to full awareness with Odgar’s lips against my neck.
He pulls out of me with a blissful sigh, and I immediately find myself missing the weight and the fullness of him.
Rolling onto his back, he tugs me toward him so that my head is nestled in the crook of his neck.
We both lay still, our chests heaving as our breathing gradually levels out.