Chapter 19
Alchera
When I wake up, I don’t feel Raighne’s warmth, and for a moment, blinding panic and fear shoot through me.
My eyes pop open, and it takes a second for my vision to focus on my father’s face.
My body feels as if it’s been shredded to pieces, but I don’t reek like death anymore. The aroma of herbs and oils fills the air.
Every wound throbs as if each one has a heartbeat of its very own.
My father glances at my face, and seeing I’m awake, he murmurs, “My precious daughter has woken up. How do you feel?”
Once again, I’m struck by the similarities between us as I try to smile, but the cuts on my cheeks from Adeth’s nails quickly have me stopping.
Letting out a groan, I say, “I’m still trying to catch the license plate of that bus that ran me over.”
“I beg your pardon?” He frowns.
“Sorry, it’s an expression that’s used on Earth. I meant to say, it feels like my body has seen better days.”
I’m not going to tell him how much pain I’m really in.
“It will get better. And you’re safe now.” His eyes caress lovingly over my face that must look like I ran straight into a wall.
“I’m going to have to leave you with Raighne and Aster. ”
I clear my throat, then ask, “Where are you going?”
“We’re going to go hunt down Adeth.” Shock from his words ripples through me. “She has to account for what she’s done to you. We can’t risk her attacking you again.”
Shaking my head, I try to sit up and quickly grab hold of the blanket wrapped around me so it won’t fall off.
“No! You can’t,” I protest. “She’s dangerous.”
I have to think of a way to keep him here. I don’t want my dad anywhere near Adeth.
“You don’t even know where she is. Please, don’t go!” I’m talking as fast as I can, but when he stands up and starts to carry me over to the bed, I panic. “I’ll go with you!”
I know I’ll just be in the way, but how am I supposed to let him go? I just got him back!
“You need to rest in order to heal, my sweet girl. She could’ve killed you. I won’t risk your life again.” He takes my face gently in his two large hands and looks lovingly at me. “You are the strongest soul I know. I’m so very proud of you. I love you deeply, my daughter. I have been and will always be with you.” He kisses me on the forehead and turns to leave.
“No! You can’t leave,” I call after him. “Please, don’t go. I just got you back.”
I feel the sobs building in my throat as I almost fall off the bed to go after him. Pain tears through every muscle, and my body fights me with every step I try to take. I sink to my knees and have to drag myself to the door.
My eyes are nailed to my dad’s back as he walks with the pride of a King toward his horse, where a group of men are already waiting.
“Daddy, no!” I cry, my voice hoarse and raw.
Using the door, I drag myself up so I can see him better.
He mounts his horse and gives me one last warm smile before he nods at the men behind him. In horror, I watch my dad leave me.
My legs buckle under my weight, and I slump down to the ground. “Come back,” I gasp through the heartache. “Come back. She’s going to kill you,” I sob as I lie down right where I am, crying into the dirt .
“Alchera!” Raighne shouts.
Lifting my head, I barely make out Raighne running toward me. Everything is a blur.
A blur of pain. A blur of tears. A blur of heartache.
My life has become a blur of shadows, and I can’t handle it anymore.
Raighne crouches, and his strong arms slip beneath me. He lifts me to his chest, and I bury my face against his leather shirt as I cry, “It’s so unfair. He left me again.”
Setting me down on the side of the bed, he stands in front of me and leans down until we’re face-to-face. The moment our eyes lock, the heartache lessens, and a calmness washes over me.
“Your father will return,” he says, and the words calm me even more.
I nod and glance away from him. Gripping the blanket tighter, I ask, “Are there any clothes here? This blanket is getting very uncomfortable to hold up all the time.”
“I don’t see any clothes,” he replies. “Let me call someone to bring you something to wear.” Slowly, he pulls away from me and walks to the door.
I duck my head, letting my hair fall forward to cover my face, but instead of long curls, there are only uneven strands brushing over my shoulders.
My throat aches from fighting the tears as I tug at the butchered leftovers of my hair.
I hear Raighne talking in hushed tones with someone and duck my head lower.
Because of everything I’ve been forced to endure, it feels as if a darkness is growing deep in my soul.
I feel lonely and broken.
“You should lie down,” Raighne murmurs near me.
When I feel his fingers weaving through the hack job on my head, I jerk away.
“Shh. Your hair will grow back. Why don’t you try to get some rest?”
Anger bubbles up in my chest, as hot as the flames licking at my back.
Before I can stop myself, my head whips up, and I hiss, “I can’t! Don’t you think I would if I could?” I let the blanket fall away from me, exposing my bare chest that’s riddled with bruises and wounds, then I snap, “On which side do you suggest I lie?”
Raighne’s features tighten, and instead of losing his patience with me, he moves as close to me as possible and grabs hold of the blanket. Fisting the fabric, he covers my front before pulling me to lean against his abdomen.
I can feel his body trembling, and his breaths warm the top of my head.
“I will spend the rest of my life making up to you for the horror you were forced to endure. I promise, Alchera. I know there’s not much I can do to make it better, and there’s nothing I can say to regain your trust, but I swear to Awo I will prove my worth to you.”
Tears sting my eyes, and I regret my outburst. Sucking in a deep breath, I try to control the chaotic dark emotions swirling in my chest.
“You didn’t do this to me.”
Pulling back, Raighne lifts his hand to my face, and his fingers carefully brush over the cuts on my cheek.
I wiggle uncomfortably, not wanting him to pay any attention to my wounds. It reminds me of how awful I look.
He leans even closer and tries to capture my eyes. His breath warms my lips, and his voice is soft in my mind. “Let me in.”
His lips move to the corner of my mouth, and an intense fluttering erupts in my stomach.
“Please stop closing yourself off from me,” he begs.
He presses a soft kiss to my cheek where the cuts are.
“No,” I choke the words out. I try to pull my face away from him, but he just grips hold of my chin to keep me in place.
“Let me in, Alchera,” he orders, his tone harsher.
I don’t want him to see the mess in my head and the shredded pieces of my soul.
I take hold of his hand and tug it away from my face. “No, Raighne. I need time.”
Hurt darkens his eyes, and it’s worse than when I had to cut him off because, this time, I see the pain I’m causing him .
Aster comes in with a bundle of clothes before I can try to explain myself further. “Give us some privacy, Raighne.”
He goes to stand in the doorway, turning his back to us and crossing his arms over his broad chest.
“Should you so much as peek, I will cast you with blindness,” Aster teases him while winking at me. “Do you feel better?”
I just nod because I think it will take a long while before I feel any better.
When she holds a white nightgown out to me, I take it and whisper, “Thank you.”
“Let me help you,” she says.
“I’m good.”
She hesitates for a moment before nodding. “Careful with your left arm.”
I wait for her to leave before I let go of the blanket, and as carefully as possible, I pull the nightgown over my shoulders and fasten all the buttons.
“Are you dressed?” Raighne asks from the doorway.
I adjust the fabric around my thighs as I glance over my shoulder. “Yeah.” When he walks back to me, I say, “I’m sorry about earlier.”
He shakes his head as he comes to stand in front of me. “Don’t apologize. You’ve been through hell.”
Hell. It’s the understatement of the century.
God, I hope things get better, or I’m going to lose my mind.
It’s getting late, and the sun is starting to set. I’m still sitting on the bed while Raighne is standing in front of me, absentmindedly brushing his fingers over my broken arm.
The silence is heavy in the room. I know he wants to talk about what happened, but I’m not ready, and I can’t let him into my mind until I am.
All I can think about right now is my father out there with Adeth and Ares. That, and sitting on the side of the bed, is starting to hurt like crazy .
I wish I could lie down.
My muscles are cramping up, and my back and ribs are aching something fierce.
I need painkillers, and I’m not just talking about one. A whole bottle will do right about now.
“Are you comfortable sitting like this?” Raighne asks, obviously not missing a thing.
He tilts his head to try and catch my eyes, and I duck my head lower.
“Don’t hide from me.”
I let out a sigh then say, “I can’t lie down.”
Raighne knows about my back, the broken arm, and cuts on my cheeks but not about my broken ribs and the cut at the back of my thigh. And I don’t plan to tell him about those.
He takes hold of my chin and lifts my face to his. After all I’ve been through, he still makes my heart beat faster with just the slightest touch.
“Let me help.”
I’m too tired to fight and nod.
He carefully slips his arms beneath me and carries me to a nearby armchair. After taking a seat, he says, “Straddle me.”
A blush creeps up my neck and face as I do as I’m told.
I might be in a lot of pain, but I still have a healthy pair of ovaries.
I shift on his lap, and not knowing what to do with my right arm, I just sit on his thighs and stare down at where the fabric of my nightgown has bunched up. Then, my eyes touch on the bulge between his legs.
Yeah, I’m not going to get any sleep.
Raighne wraps his hand around the back of my neck and tugs me closer until I’m leaning against his chest.
“Relax.”
“Easier said than done.”
He pulls slightly back, then gives me a questioning look. “What’s wrong?”
Unable to say the words out loud, I think them. “This is just a really intimate position.”
“Is it a problem? ”
I narrow my eyes on him. “I’m so not having this conversation with you.”
His features tighten, and gripping hold of my hips, he tugs me right against him.
“Relax,” he orders, his tone not leaving any space for arguments.
Letting out a sigh, I do my best to relax while trying not to think of what’s beneath the leather I’m sitting on.
His hand brushes over my left arm, and slowly, my muscles begin to loosen a bit.
“Much better,” he sighs in my mind.
I feel myself melt into his body and tuck my face into the crook of his neck, letting out a breath of relief because I think I can actually sleep in this position.
His hand keeps brushing up and down my left arm, and I swear the pain is lessening. I glance down at where he’s touching me, and when I see a faint blue glowing light between his palm and my skin, my lips part with a gasp.
“Raighne!”
When he doesn’t answer me, I pull back so I can see his face. It looks like he’s in a trance as he stares at my arm, and by the time he snaps out of it, sweat beads on his forehead.
Slowly, I move my arm, and when there’s no pain at all, and it feels completely healed, my eyes jump back to Raighne’s.
“Oh my God, Raighne,” I say, my tone filled with disbelief. “You just healed my arm.”
A second later, shock flashes over his face, and his eyes lock on mine. “I wasn’t aware I was doing it.”
When I start to smile, I quickly have to stop because the movement makes the cuts pull. It draws his attention to my face, and he lifts his hands, framing my cheeks.
“Let me in.”
I hesitate for a moment before I nod, praying I don’t give away any of my feelings for him.
His warmth pours through me, and the longer I stare at Raighne, the more I start to imagine that I see hunger in his eyes .
That’s impossible.
Before I can process what’s happening, his mouth crashes against mine, and I’m engulfed in everything that’s Raighne. His hands move to my hair, and he fists the short strands. I can’t hold back a sob when I feel him enter my mind.
I try to break the kiss, but he just tightens his hold on me. “I don’t want you to see inside my mind.’
“You are mine,” his growl echoes through me. “Every part of you, Alchera. The only way I can heal you is if you let me in.”
His delicious scent and taste envelop me, and my abdomen clenches hard as my walls come crashing down.
Raighne groans as his tongue brushes over my lips before entering my mouth, and the primal sound sends tingles rushing over my body.
“Oh God,” I moan because I didn’t know this is what a kiss feels like.
“You haven’t been kissed before?” his voice rumbles inside me.
“No.”
My reply unleashes a storm in him, and Raighne washes through me like a tsunami, his intensity stealing the breath from my lungs.
I press closer to him, wanting as much of him as I can get. I know it’s wrong because he’s only trying to heal me.
He doesn’t want me the same way I want him.
But I can’t stop.
My heart is racing, and I’m consumed with passion for this man. It feels so good to have his mouth on mine, even if it’s for the wrong reasons.
His hands move down my body before settling on the sides of my thighs, and the nightgown bunches around his arms as he moves his hands beneath the fabric and up to my back.
I brace for pain, but there’s none.
I can only feel Raighne, his lips nipping and biting mine, his tongue lashing and tasting.
He consumes me entirely until there’s only him, and I have no idea how long we kiss for.
Raighne starts to slow down his assault on me, and when I regain control of my mind, I’m a breathless mess on his lap.
His hands brush up and down my back once more before he pulls them out from under the fabric, and when he breaks the kiss, he trails his fingers over my cheeks.
I swear the man took me to the heavens and beyond, and coming down, I begin to feel self-conscious.
My eyes focus on him, and seeing the serious expression on his face, I squirm and glance away.
“Look at me.”
I shake my head, and it has him gripping hold of my chin and forcing me to look at him.
When our eyes lock, he asks, “How do you feel?”
I suck in a deep breath of air and focus on my back while I lift a hand to my face. The pain in my back is much more manageable, and the scabs on my cheeks are practically gone.
Slowly, a smile tugs at my mouth. “It worked,” I whisper, the awkwardness forgotten as relief fills me.
“Good.”
I lower my eyes from his, then ask, “So you have to kiss me in order to heal me?”
He lets out a chuckle as he shakes his head. “No, but the kiss got you to focus on me so I could do my job.”
The words sting like hell, and I quickly glance away so he won’t see the disappointment in my eyes while I mutter, “Right.”
I begin to move so I can get off his lap, but he grips hold of my hips and frowns at me. “What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, refusing to make eye contact with him. “I’m just exhausted.”
When I move again, he doesn’t stop me. The cut at the back of my leg is tender as fuck from the position I sat in, and the stitches pull, but I suppress the pain so Raighne won’t pick up on it, because I can’t handle another kiss right now.
“Thank you for healing me,” I say as I walk to the bed. “At least I’ll be able to sleep now. ”
Raighne doesn’t get up and just stares at me.
“Why are you withdrawing from me?”
“I’m not,” I lie. “I’m just tired. You should get some rest as well.”
Still, he doesn’t budge from the chair.
I climb beneath the covers and pull them up to my chin as I gingerly lie down, careful not to agitate my broken ribs.
Squeezing my eyes shut, I will sleep to come quickly, but instead of my wish coming true, I lie awake, highly conscious of Raighne.
“Did I make a mistake by kissing you?”
Avoiding the truth, I answer, “It helped with the healing.”
“But?”
“No buts.”
“Alchera.” His tone is much harsher this time around.
“Just leave it,” I snap out loud.
I hear the chair creak, and a moment later, the bed dips beneath Raighne’s weight as he sits down beside me.
“Don’t shut me out.”
I pull the covers up higher to hide the blush on my face as I admit, “It was my first kiss. I thought it would be more special than just being used for healing purposes.”
Raighne is quiet for a moment, and then he climbs to his feet and walks out of the room.
“Raighne?”
“Rest well, Alchera.” His tone is cold and clearly unhappy with me.
Was I wrong to admit that to him?
Confused as hell, I lie for close to an hour thinking about what happened tonight, but by the time I drift off to sleep, I’m no closer to an answer.