Chapter 19
MOST LIKELY TO STAY FRIENDS AFTER GRADUATION
“Let’s go, Hardy,” Lily screams from beside me, her hands cupped around her mouth.
“Do you even know what’s going on?” I ask as I adjust my posture. The metal stands are making my butt numb, and I haven’t found a comfortable position yet. I pull my puffer jacket tight around my waist to fight against the cold February air and peer down at the lacrosse game unfolding below.
Connor and Hardy are both on the field playing against one of Citrus Prep’s biggest rivals, but as much as I’ve tried to figure out the rules, I have no idea if the last play was any good—and I highly doubt Lily does either.
She shoots me an offended look. “Of course I do.”
I level her with a stare and adjust the fleece blanket we have covering both of our laps. I scoot a little closer so that it covers the sides of our legs.
Lily tugs the corner of the blanket and tucks it under her thigh. “Fine. I kind of know what’s going on. Hardy caught the ball in his stick and moved it toward their goal, so I have to assume that’s a good thing.”
Lily’s been coming to Hardy’s games for three years, and she’s as lost as me. That only confirms that I will not be able to figure it out before the end of the season. I might not be able to follow the game play, but at least I know to keep my eyes on number ten.
A few months ago, I would have made a joke about how arrogant Connor must be to make sure even his lacrosse number is a “perfect ten,” but now I feel nothing but pride as I watch him play.
That perfect ten is my boyfriend and has been the best boyfriend the last month and a half.
Not only did he remember my birthday and send me flowers and plan out an elaborate Valentine’s Day scavenger hunt, he also takes me on a date once a week and brings me something yummy from the coffee shop every Monday.
He’s a walking green flag and makes me feel special in ways I never have before.
And yet, with graduation right around the corner, there’s still a looming dark cloud over our relationship.
Mrs. Grafton warned us that the second semester would go by quickly, but I don’t think I realized just how fast it would be.
College acceptance letters are coming in, spring break is next month, and finals will be here before I know it.
Each week passes in a blink of an eye, and I can barely keep up.
It doesn’t matter how sweet Connor is or how many lattes he brings me—or that I think I might be falling hard for him—we are marching toward a battle that one of us will win and both of us will lose.
Still, I cheer for him when I hear the rest of the crowd call his name. I have no idea what happened, but I clap anyway. Then, his coach calls a time out. All the guys huddle in a circle on the field, and Lily turns to face me.
“I still can’t believe you’re dating Connor-freaking-Williams.” She shakes her head.
“Trust me, no one is more surprised than me.” I smile smugly at her. “Which can not be said about you and Hardy. I’m so glad you guys are dating too.”
Her cheeks turn bright red as she looks down at her hands folded in her lap. “We decided we wanted to try to make it work.”
With all the chaos of life, Lily and I still haven't had a chance to talk about her and Hardy’s relationship status.
They got really flirty after his birthday party, but I think they made it official at the Noel dance like me and Connor.
Starting to date at the middle of senior year is really scary.
I want to know what their plan is, partly because I’m curious about how they hope to make it work, but also as inspiration for my own relationship.
“Have you figured out college stuff yet?”
She turns to the field and sighs. I can see her breath in the cool air. “We’re still just playing the waiting game.”
She means whether or not Hardy gets into University of Florida.
We were all texting like crazy when the decision letters were sent out.
Even though I don’t intend to go to UF, I applied anyway—mostly because everyone I care about did.
Lily, Connor, and I all got in on early admission.
Hardy was deferred and will find out next month if he’s accepted or not.
But that doesn’t tell me what they’re going to do if he doesn’t make the final cut.
“And if he doesn’t get accepted? What will you do?”
Lily doesn’t look away from the huddle of players. “I don’t know. He’s considering Santa Fe so we can still be together.”
“Really?” I jerk back, surprised by the news.
Santa Fe is the community college that feeds into UF.
Obviously, there’s nothing wrong with community college, but most students from Citrus Prep don’t go that route.
The school has a reputation for sending students to the best colleges around the country, and the families here don’t consider community college the best. Hardy has been accepted to several top schools with great scholarship packages.
I wonder what his parents think of him not going to them in favor of Santa Fe.
A buzzer indicates the time out is over. Connor and Hardy both jog back onto the field, and I’m back to pretending to understand what’s going on.
“What about you and Connor?” Lily asks before I can probe her more about Hardy’s college decisions. “Have you figured out what you’re going to do?”
I snort. “Not even close.”
“But you like him?”
I bite my bottom lip and slowly release it. “Yeah.”
“A lot?”
“Yeah.”
“But you still haven’t figured out college stuff.”
I look at her briefly before turning my attention back to the game. “This feels a little like the Spanish Inquisition.”
“No, it’s your best friend trying to catch up on all the big stuff.”
Best friend.
A tightness forms in my throat with those two words.
Lily and I haven’t talked as much as I had hoped this year.
The closer I got to Connor, the further I felt from her.
Everything is so mixed up, but that hasn’t changed the fact that we’re still best friends.
At least, not in her mind. This makes me more emotional than I expected.
I swallow hard. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? ”
“Yes, it has. I barely know the details of Connor’s and your relationship. I’m assuming you’ve kissed.”
Our first kiss was almost two months ago. Have Lily and I really not talked about it before now? I nod.
“Is he any good?”
My eyes widen, and I gasp. “Lily. You can’t ask me that!”
“Of course, I can. And your reaction makes me think that he’s terrible which makes me wonder why all the girls trip over themselves to get to him.” Lily laughs, but the thought of Connor kissing other girls stirs a wave of bitterness in me.
“Oh,” Lily says, humor lacing her tone. “Sorry, I didn’t realize you were so possessive.”
“I’m not possessive. I just really like him.
” Honestly, I’m afraid that my feelings are morphing from like to something more serious.
But it’s too early to start throwing out the L-word, isn’t it?
We’ve hated each other for years, just became friends a few months ago, and have only been dating for a month and a half. “And he’s a great kisser.”
Lily laughs.
“What about Hardy? I’m guessing you have kissed?”
“Yes, and he’s amazing,”
I’m not sure what scale she’s using to determine that he’s amazing since eI know for a fact she hasn’t kissed anyone else. Probably the same one I use for Connor. I don’t have anyone to compare him to, but I know I want to kiss him all the time.
I rest my head on Lily’s shoulder. “Man, I’m going to miss this.”
She puts her head against mine. “Me, too.”
“I’m really freaked out about graduation.” Although, it’s not really the ceremony I worried about, but everything that comes with it: Citrus Scholar, Connor, Lily, college. I feel so out of control.
Lily sighs. “Yeah.”
I sit back up and face her. “Will we still be friends?”
“What?”
“When school ends. Do you think we’ll still talk?”
Her brows squish together. “What kind of question is that?”
“Not an unreasonable one.” I shrug. “I feel like we’ve been pulling away from each other this year. If you end up in Gainesville and I end up in another state, I worry that we’ll just drift apart until we don’t talk anymore. Don’t tell me the thought hasn’t crossed your mind.”
“Of course it has,” she says. “But I think we’re just going to have to put more effort into our friendship. It’s worth it, don’t you think?”
“Yes.”
“Okay, then. It’s settled, we’ll still be friends.”
I smile back at her. “Just like that?”
“Why not? Plus, isn’t that what you’re going to do with Connor?”
I pick at the fuzzy pieces of the blanket and pull them off.
“I don’t know what we’re going to do. You said Hardy is going to go to Gainesville regardless of whether or not he gets into UF.
But Connor and I haven’t even talked about what we’re going to do.
I think we’re pretending the calendar doesn’t exist after May. ”
“Look, I’m no relationship expert, but I think you might need to face some of these problems head on before it’s too late.”
I look down at the field. Connor just made a goal. Lily and I both jump up and start clapping and cheering. “Let’s go, Orange,” I scream at the top of my lungs.
A bunch of guys crowd around Connor, patting him on the back and congratulating him. I wish I was down there to give him a hug.
He looks up into the stands, and his eyes find mine right away. I can barely see his face through the helmet, but I can tell he’s smiling beneath it. Connor lifts his hand to wave but stops halfway. His smile drops alongside his arm.
What happened? I twist in my seat to look at the crowd. Everyone is still cheering, but a new face is sitting behind me. Mr. Williams. He wasn’t here when the game started. How long has he been sitting behind us? Did he hear me talking about kissing his son?
Not only does his presence make me want to crawl beneath the stands and disappear forever, it reminds me of yet another potential roadblock for Connor and me.
My dad still almost destroyed Connor’s. His family hates mine.
Could something serious ever develop between the two of us?
Would it be better to break up now so it’s less painful? I don’t know.
But Lily is right. It’s time to start having some serious conversations.