13. Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Thirteen
Luciana
Ifeel Matteo chasing me. His loud, impactful footsteps on the ground. His breath. His presence as he gets closer and closer.
It would all be easier if I just told him about Dante. But I can’t get the words out. To admit that I gave Dante Alexandra’s name and now she’s dead is a shame I can’t comprehend. It’s a fall from grace.
So I run instead. I make it to our bedroom but before I can shut the door, Matteo enters. He shoves the door open wider and stalks right towards me. I back away from him until my spine hits the wall.
“Are you afraid of me?” he asks in a dark tone. It makes my stomach squeeze in excitement. I recognize the look in his eyes. The thrill and lust.
“Right now… maybe.”
“Maybe?” He places his hands on the wall beside my head, locking me in. “What are you hiding, Luciana? Tell me.”
“I can’t.”
“Then we have to do this the hard way.” He grabs my waist, picking me up, before he throws me onto the bed. I gasp. A sudden flare of arousal hits me. Why would I get excited in a moment like this? More shame fills me but I still can’t deny the wetness that starts to seep out of me.
Matteo stands at the end of the bed, breathing heavy, and gazing down at me with his dark eyes. I can’t move. I don’t want to run away. I want him to touch me. To absolve me of my shame.
He rolls me onto my stomach right before he spanks me. I cry out from the pain.
But there’s also a tinge of pleasure there.
“Tell me,” he demands. “Stop keeping things from me. What has you so upset?”
“I can’t,” I continue to say.
He shoves my dress up and rips my panties down. My inner walls clamp down on nothing from the lust that hits my body. He spanks my bare backside. Without even meaning to, I lift my hips closer to his hand. A cry that sounds closer to a moan escapes my lips.
“Do you like this?” he asks. “Maybe I shouldn’t be spanking you if you like it so much.” He taps my skin again, much more gentle this time. “Tell me, Luciana. Tell me.”
I clamp my lips shut.
“If pain won’t make you talk, then maybe pleasure will.
” He parts my legs and cups my entire intimate area.
My pussy as he likes to call it. This time, a moan does leave me.
I’m lost in both shame and pleasure and I can’t make sense of any of it.
“Tell me.” He rubs me with his palm, right over my nub. My hips buck backwards into his hand.
“Matteo,” I whisper.
“Tell me.” He rubs me harder and harder. The firmness of his palm right on my nub is too much. I think I might die but I need a release first. I need something to make me feel better about my shame.
“Please.”
“I’ll give you what you want when you tell me.” He pulls his hand back just enough so I can’t quite find my release yet. When I whine, he presses his palm back against me. “Talk to me, Luciana. Stop shutting me out. Are you afraid it will make you look bad?”
“Yes,” I admit, crying out. My hips buck harder into his hand. I need more and more and more. I’m losing my mind.
“Then what is it?” Matteo’s hand is like magic on my body. Both soft and firm. Scary and sweet. I need it all – more than I ever thought I needed anything this bad in my life.
I grind my body onto his hand. Matteo rubs me harder. Every motion of his palm runs right over my clit. Its taboo and wrong but it also feels right.
Matteo leans over me until his mouth is beside my ear. “Tell me. Please, baby. Tell me.”
His word of endearment makes me cry out. It’s so soft and warm. It makes me feel like I could love him.
He presses a kiss to my neck while his hand continues to pleasure me. “Tell me. Come on. Please.”
“It’s so shameful. I can’t say.”
“Maybe you’ll finally tell me when you get your orgasm. Would that make you talk?”
“Please,” I moan and cry at the same time.
Matteo’s breath is dark and ragged while mine sounds like I just ran a marathon. I’m exhausted and yet more alive than I’ve ever been.
“Please,” I beg. “Please.”
“You need this?” He shoves his finger inside of me and I can’t hold back my moan. It feels good to use my voice. To let go just a little. Matteo thrusts his finger in and out of me, filling me right up. “You needed me to fuck you with my finger? Tell me.”
“Yes,” I gasp out. “Yes.”
“Tell me how much you like this.”
“I love it,” I say into the mattress, clutching the blanket for dear life.
He plants another soft kiss on my neck as his finger is rough with my… pussy. Just thinking the word feels wrong and somehow right at the same time. My mind is really losing control. I’m not sure how much longer I can hold on for.
“I need to get you ready for my cock. Do you like that sound of that? My cock inside of you?”
At his suggestion, my inner walls clamp down on his finger.
“Do you want my cock inside of you? I want to make you fully mine, Luciana. Claim your virginity. Would you let me?”
“Today?” I whisper.
“It doesn’t have to be today. But one day. Will you let me?” There’s a deep ache in his voice that speaks to how much he wants this. I want it just as much. That realization hits me hard and fast.
I want Matteo. I’m tired of fighting how I feel for him. What I want is to get lost in his body. Have him make me feel good. Do my final duty as a wife. Maybe then I won’t be filled with so much shame over what happened to Alexandra.
“Yes,” I say. “Yes, I’ll let you.”
A low growl escapes his lips, making more wetness seep out of me. His hand must be coated in it. For once, I don’t feel ashamed about that. I only feel excited. Turned on.
“Today,” I decide. “Take me today.”
His hand goes still for a moment. “Are you sure? You’re upset.”
“I want you to take me. Like this,” I say into the mattress. I’m not sure I can look into Matteo’s eyes as he takes me. I don’t deserve it. What I deserve is to be taken from behind like an animal. That’s what my shame needs right now.
“Are you sure?”
“Yes,” I cry out. My tone is covered with desperation. “Like this. I need it. Please.”
Matteo pulls his hand from my pussy and instantly, I feel cold. I hear him unzip his pants and then I can feel his length pressing into my thigh. He’s aroused just like I am.
“You don’t want to do this on your back?” he asks.
“No. I want you to take me like this.” I need to get what I deserve.
Matteo hesitates for a moment before he brings his cock to my entrance. A beat. And then he enters me.
It both hurts and feels so pleasurable, I can’t stop myself from moaning. He slides all the way inside of me and then stops. He grips my hips and raises them up before moving in and out of me.
“Do you like this?” he asks, thrusting into me.
I wince. “It hurts.”
“Do you want me to stop?”
“No,” I cry out. “No. Don’t stop. Please.” I need this to happen. I need to do my duty to him. I need to do something right as a wife because I’m utterly and completely failing otherwise.
Matteo lets out a low growl as he sinks into me deeper. I buck my hips back to match his pace. The realization that I’m having sex hits me. I’m giving my body to my husband. I’m doing my duty.
It all feels so right and so wrong at the same time.
My body is alive with pleasure like a live wire. Every touch makes me gasp and softly moan. The feeling of his length inside of me is unlike anything I’ve experienced. It’s soft and hard. It’s pain and pleasure. It’s everything.
I grip the blanket harder. My face is buried in the mattress making it hard to breathe but I don’t care right now. I need this. Only this.
Matteo thrusts into me harder and harder. “You like this?”
“Yes,” I gasp. “I do. I need this.”
The sound of our bodies rocking together makes me blush. I’m really letting Matteo claim me from behind like an animal. I never thought I would be doing this. I always assumed sex would happen under the covers in a dark room.
But there’s no hiding what we’re doing.
“God, Luci,” he growls. Never has he used a nickname with me before. It fills my heart with light and makes the shame inside of me fade slightly. “You feel so good around my cock. I always knew you’d like this. You just had to let yourself go. Let yourself go.”
I moan from his words. Let go. That sounds perfect.
Every thrust makes me gasp. I need this and yet I’m afraid of it. I want to live and I want to die. My mind is conflicted but one thing I know is that I don’t want Matteo to stop.
He reaches around my body and presses his hand to my clit. The loudest moan I’ve ever made retches itself from my throat.
“Fuck,” he gasps. His thrusts are perfection. Every one of them firm and soft at the same time. It really is like magic.
“Matteo,” I whimper. “Please.”
He flicks my clit while he thrusts into me. It’s all too much and not enough.
“Please!” I cry out.
“Fuck, Luci. Fuck.”
The next time his finger flicks my clit, I finally find my release. It wracks over my entire body like a thunderstorm. For just a moment, I black out before reality hits me.
Matteo thrusts into me once more before he finds his own release. There’s a chance I could end up pregnant. I always wanted to be a mom. But will I find that I’m not good enough at that as well? I thought I’d be a perfect wife and look how that has turned out.
After kissing the back of my neck, he gently pulls out of me. I slump to the bed, catching my breath.
I hear Matteo walk away and come back a moment later before he places a wet cloth to my pussy. I gasp as he cleans me. It’s so gentle and sweet that it finally makes me cry. A huge, body wracking sob.
Matteo pulls me into his arms without hesitation. “Did I take you too hard? You told me you wanted it.”
“I did. I do.” I clutch his shirt and bury my face in his neck. “I needed it. I needed you to take my shame away.”
“What shame? What’s going on, Luciana?”
“I’m responsible,” I whisper.
He tenses. “What are you talking about?”
“I’m the reason Alexandra died.”
He pulls back and cups my face. It’s hard to see him through my tears. “I don’t understand. Is this why you were upset when I came home? Is this what you couldn’t tell me?”