Chapter Seven #3
‘We don’t really talk,’ I muttered, dipping my eyes to the letter so that I wouldn’t have to see her expression.
There was nothing of depth in it, only two pages of rambling pleasantries about the weather and the state of the roads.
He’d written more than he had said to me in weeks, and yet it didn’t seem to say anything at all.
He really had written me a letter just so I could finally get a letter.
If he intended it to be belittling, he’d certainly succeeded.
But if Raleigh was away …
‘When will he be back?’ I asked.
Moira shrugged. ‘I don’t know. Today or tomorrow. He doesn’t date his letters, but he took the small carriage, so he’ll have to travel by night.’ She narrowed her eyes. ‘Whatever it is you’re thinking, stop it.’
‘I wasn’t thinking anything,’ I lied. Then, seeing her expression, I said, ‘I want to go to Orlfen.’
After I gave up on my plans of escape, I had toyed with the idea of a day trip to Orlfen, but without a horse I couldn’t guarantee I would be able to make it there and back without Raleigh finding out.
His waking hours were unpredictable. The days were long now, evening bleeding deep into the night, and Raleigh tended to wake long before sundown; I was often startled from my studies by the library’s curtains shrieking shut of their own accord when he rose.
I shuddered to think what he might do if he ever woke early and found me gone.
He would never believe it was nothing more than a visit.
So I’d discarded the idea. Perhaps if I had a horse I would have been more bold, but Raleigh kept the horses and carriage in a stable down the mountain where they could be properly cared for by a stablehand, who, according to Moira, refused to come any closer to the castle.
But if Raleigh was travelling, I had time.
My heart started pounding, my fingers buzzing with a lightness I hadn’t felt in months. This could work. If Raleigh returned tonight, I still had at least eight hours. It would have to be brief, but I could see Father.
And Yann …
My stomach twisted in a complicated knot of emotion.
I’d still heard no word of his welfare, no confirmation whether he was dead or alive.
The last time I’d seen him he was collapsed on a forest floor cradling a broken hand.
I didn’t share Raleigh’s confidence that he would have made it back to Orlfen in one piece.
And I was terrified of finding out that he hadn’t.
I pushed the feeling aside. It was all the more reason to go. Raleigh might be able to intercept my letters, but he couldn’t intercept this. I had to see Yann. I had to know.
‘I’m not helping you escape.’
‘I don’t want to escape,’ I said, shocked to realise it wasn’t a lie.
As much as I hated to admit it, Raleigh was keeping to his boundaries admirably, and as long as he honoured his end of the bargain, I intended to honour mine.
Besides, there were worse things than a broken hand.
I didn’t want to imagine what he would do to my family if I really did try to escape.
‘I want to visit Father and make sure everyone is all right.’ I didn’t tell her about Yann. It would only complicate the situation.
‘And you expect me to believe that?’
‘I do.’ I met her eyes, trying my utmost to convey my earnestness. She turned away first, then dropped her shoulders in resignation. ‘Please, Moira. I just need you to look the other way.’
‘What happened to not having enough free time to go outside?’
‘This will invigorate me,’ I said. ‘Raleigh never needs to know, and I’ll never ask you for anything like this again.’
Moira groaned, then braced herself against the desk. ‘Fine. Fine. As long as you’re back before sundown.’
‘I’ll need a horse to make it back in time,’ I said.
‘You already have a horse,’ she said.
I stared at her, not quite understanding. ‘What do you mean I have a horse?’
Moira shook her head, then ate a slice of my peach. ‘You really need to go outside.’
I knew Raleigh’s castle had a small stable in addition to the main one down the hill – I’d seen it from afar on the few occasions Moira managed to force me into the gardens – but I’d always assumed it was unused. Now I wished I’d looked inside.
The stable was mostly empty, but one dark mare remained in the far corner. When Moira pushed the gate open, the horse trotted up expectantly, and to my shock I realised I knew her well.
‘Sovereign!’ I cried.
Sovereign snorted and bumped my shoulder with her nose.
I never thought I’d see her again. I’d guessed that Raleigh had left her roaming the woods when he captured me and hoped she’d found her way home before the wolves, or something equally hungry, found her.
It never occurred to me that Raleigh would bother to find and drag a half-starved horse back to the castle when there was no possible benefit to him.
Sovereign was no longer half starved. Her coat was glossy, her mane recently brushed.
I stroked her nose, feeling guilty that she had been here all this time when I’d never thought to look for her.
I wondered if she understood anything that had happened.
Maybe she was simply happy to find herself in a nicer stable with much, much better food.
‘I thought you were gone,’ I said to her, though I didn’t expect her to understand me.
‘Raleigh brought her back the day after he found you,’ Moira said, breaking the spell. ‘He’s been taking care of her ever since.’
‘Raleigh has?’ I asked, surprised.
‘He’s much better with animals than I am. They never seem to trust me. He didn’t want to put her with the other horses while she was regaining her strength, so he’s been looking after her since you’ve been here.’
I ran my hand over her coat, picturing Raleigh taking the time to comb the brambles from her mane, to stroke her nose, to change her hay. It didn’t match my image of him at all. ‘Why didn’t he tell me?’
‘Who knows how that man’s mind works?’
I couldn’t tell what she meant by that. ‘Incredible that he found her.’
‘He’s an excellent tracker,’ Moira said, ‘which is exactly why you need to be back on time. If you try to run, he’s going to find you again.’
‘I know, I know.’ I hoisted Sovereign’s old saddle off the stable wall and began securing it around her middle. ‘He knows where my house is. If I’m not back in time, tell him he can collect me from there.’
‘Just come back.’
‘I will.’ I knew that was a promise easier given than kept.
Once I was in Orlfen it would take all my will to drag myself back up the mountain, away from all I loved.
For all the excitement I felt at returning home, I was already mourning the fact I’d have to leave again.
‘I’ll be back before sundown,’ I conceded. ‘I promise.’