Chapter Nine
Nine
I WAS LEFT ALONE, FEELING like I had slipped back into childhood.
Father hadn’t said anything he hadn’t implied a million times before, only it felt different now, somehow.
For the last two months I’d lived more or less on my own terms. Yes, Raleigh had isolated me from the world, and I was trapped doing research I would rather not be doing.
But I woke when I wanted to, ate and slept when I needed to, and when I snapped at Raleigh he …
… bought me a dictionary.
I slumped on the sofa, wishing I’d planned this day better. This was far from the joyous reunion I’d imagined. At least I knew now that everyone was alive. That had to make all this worthwhile, didn’t it?
There came a rap at the front door. I wasn’t sure whether Johanna was in, and I was halfway to opening it before I remembered I no longer lived here. No, Father wouldn’t mind. This was still my home, no matter what Raleigh said.
I opened the door, then had to look down to see our guest. He was a scruffy-looking thing, either too young or too malnourished to have hit his growth spurt yet. I racked my brain for his name, but if I ever knew it I certainly didn’t anymore.
‘Oh.’ The boy went pale. ‘I didn’t expect you, Miss Clara. P-princess. Ah, no. Your Serene—’
‘Just Clara,’ I said.
He was shaking. ‘I have mail.’ He thrust out a fistful of parchment without looking at me. ‘For your father.’
‘I’ll make sure he gets it,’ I said, taking the bundle. It seemed like more than Father usually received. The boy lingered, clearly waiting for something. ‘He’ll pay you double next time,’ I added.
He beamed, fears forgotten. ‘Thank you, Princess Clara!’
I didn’t have the heart to correct him.
I tossed the letters onto the side table without looking at them and began to pace the entryway while I waited for Father and Yann.
They returned after only a few more minutes, neither looking thrilled to be in each other’s company.
Yann regarded me warily as he entered. I could tell he expected me to continue the fight.
‘I’m sorry,’ I said before he could say anything. ‘I shouldn’t have left like that.’
‘It’s fine,’ he grunted. It didn’t feel fine.
‘There, that was easy, wasn’t it?’ Father said. ‘Now we can have a lovely evening together.’
Evening. He’d said that before. ‘I can’t stay long,’ I said. ‘I need to be back by sundown.’
‘Sundown is hours away,’ Father said, which was true. At this time of year I was usually in bed before the sun had fully set. ‘Relax, enjoy yourself. Let me get you a drink.’ He rang for Johanna, who appeared in the doorway like an apparition.
I moved to embrace her as I must have done a thousand times, but she flinched away, crossing herself. Lina and Katya were one thing, but Johanna?
Father pretended not to notice. ‘Wine, please, Johanna. For three.’
She nodded, cast me one last suspicious look, then vanished.
‘Ignore her. Johanna’s become superstitious in your absence.’
‘It seems the whole town has,’ I remarked.
Yann snorted. ‘I wonder why.’
Father shot him a look and changed the subject. ‘What will happen if you’re not back before sundown? You’re not in danger by being here, are you?’
‘No,’ I said, too quickly. ‘No. The road is difficult at night, that’s all.’
‘Nothing to do with your nocturnal fiancé, then?’ Yann asked.
‘Raleigh’s out of town,’ I said sweetly. ‘He said I was free to visit the village if I got lonely while he was away. So here I am.’
‘He’s out of town?’ Father repeated.
‘Hunting,’ I said. Then, realising how that sounded, I added, ‘He has a lodge on the Bavarian border. He says the game is better there.’ None of this was true, but it sounded like the sort of thing someone might say if they’d had more than a handful of proper conversations with their betrothed.
‘Yann,’ Father said, ‘a word?’
Yann excused himself and they left me alone once again.
Johanna returned with the wine and two goblets.
She set them down in front of where Father and Yann had been sitting and began to pour, ignoring my attempts at conversation.
Then, without any indication that she ever knew I was in the room, she left.
I took the goblet intended for Yann and drained it.
After several moments, Father returned alone, smiling the way he always did when he had something to hide. ‘You’ll stay for dinner,’ he said. ‘Yann’s gone to fetch us some bread.’
‘Oh no, please,’ I insisted. ‘Raleigh has supplies delivered from outside the region. There’s plenty of food for me up at the castle.’
Father laughed and threw an arm around me. ‘Things have changed around here since you’ve been gone. There’ll be enough for us both.’
That didn’t sound right. Not enough time had passed to truly make a difference.
Dams could not be dismantled overnight. Even if Raleigh had sent out the orders the night we’d made our deal, it would have taken weeks to safely let the water through.
At the very most the dam could only have been down a month, but most crops took longer than that to grow.
How much had Father managed to secure in the city?
‘Tell me you’re not burning through the stores,’ I said.
‘You needn’t worry about that.’
‘I do worry,’ I said. ‘Don’t get complacent now that the river is back. There’s still a drought, and Vienna won’t send aid as long as the war goes on. If you run out of stores, that’s it. You’ll be back to where you were a month ago.’
‘Spoken like a true princess.’
I struggled to find the right reply. ‘I’m not a princess.
’ I sighed. I repeated the story of my deal with Raleigh.
Unlike Yann, Father didn’t immediately condemn my choice, nor did he press for details I couldn’t give.
Instead he clapped his hand on my shoulder and held my gaze seriously.
‘You’ve done so well to survive this long. I’m proud of you.’
My eyes started to burn. I didn’t realise how much I’d needed to hear that. ‘Thank you,’ I whispered.
A burst of banging upstairs shattered the moment. I jumped, looking to Father in alarm, but he was unbothered.
‘Don’t mind that. I’m having repairs done. Come, it’ll be quieter in the dining room.’
‘I really ought to be leaving.’
‘It’s a long ride. Eat first, you’ll be happier for it.’
We found Johanna again in the dining room, setting places for Yann and Father. She scowled when she spotted me, her face twisting as if Raleigh himself were lurking behind us.
‘Three places, please, Johanna,’ Father said coldly. ‘Yann will be back in a moment.’
Johanna took the hint, threw down an extra place setting and left us. She’d used the good silverware. The silver silverware.
‘I really am sorry about her. She took the news of your betrothal particularly poorly.’
‘She thinks I’m a vampire,’ I translated. I laid a hand over the base of a spoon, just to prove that I could.
Father flinched at the word. Even in our most overt discussions of our prince on the hill, no one usually dared give voice to the proper word for his kind.
‘Goodness, sweetheart, no. They’re worried about you.
No one else heard our conversation that night.
Some people have been saying that you might have been unfaithful to poor Yann.
You know how viciously rumours spread here.
But at least we know the truth. That’s all that matters. ’
‘Johanna heard our conversation.’
Father looked askance. ‘I suppose she did.’
Yann returned then, looking dusty and faintly peeved. Johanna emerged long enough for him to hand her a bread-shaped package, then he took the seat across from me while she rushed back into the kitchen.
‘Where have you been?’ I asked.
He didn’t meet my eye. ‘Juri wanted bread.’
‘Right.’ Had things always been so awkward between us?
I couldn’t remember ever struggling to think of something to say to Yann, or ever having so many conversations that ended in terse disagreement.
Surely he didn’t believe the rumours. He was there that night; he saw for himself that I never chose this.
Dinner was no less tense than with Raleigh.
Yann and I did our best to pretend we weren’t fighting, while Father did his best to pretend that nothing had changed.
Afterwards, Father tried to usher us both to the drawing room for a nightcap, but it was getting late.
The sun was slowly dropping behind the mountains.
If I didn’t leave soon, I’d break my promise to Moira.
‘I really do need to be leaving.’
Father and Yann exchanged a look. ‘Are you really going back?’ Father asked. ‘You’re already free. Why not stay?’
‘Running didn’t exactly work last time,’ I said.
Father let out a heavy sigh. ‘Then at least take a bag with you. You ought to have something from home.’
It wasn’t like Father to cave so quickly. He was right, though, it would be nice to have something familiar to take with me. Raleigh had already provided everything I could possibly need to the point of extravagance, but I longed to wear my own clothes again, to feel some of the normality of home.
‘All right. But could you bring Sovereign around while I pack a bag?’
I’d directed that to Father, but with a quick jerk of his head, he passed the request on to Yann, who silently slipped off to obey.
I didn’t like it. The Yann who had deliberately helped me undermine Father’s great marriage plot never would have slunk off to the stables at a jerk of the head.
As I watched him go, I wondered what he’d told Father when he returned from the woods.
Had Father quietly accepted me as lost? Had he blamed Yann?
There was still no warmth between them and yet somehow they seemed closer than ever.
As Yann shut the door behind him, my eyes were drawn to the side table where I’d tossed Father’s letters. ‘I almost forgot,’ I said, rushing over to retrieve them. ‘Your mail arrived earlier.’ I reached for the bundle and froze.
The letter on top was written in my hand. And it was addressed to Yann.