Chapter Fifteen
Fifteen
FOR ALL OF MY FIXATION on regicide, I hadn’t forgotten about my research.
The clarity that Enrique’s lessons gave me helped renew my fervour to find an alternative cure, even if that fervour wasn’t optimistic.
I found two more texts confirming that killing the sire was the solution to my problem, and another claiming that a silver dagger to the heart would reverse the curse, which I hoped was the author alluding to the sire’s heart, and that they hadn’t one day discovered that they were horribly, tragically wrong.
Raleigh’s chemistry experiments continued to turn up nothing, though we persisted in working with his blood.
One night Raleigh found a way to keep its components separated long enough to experiment on, although it had a habit of re-forming if we left it alone too long.
Still, no matter what we tried, it seemed the same things affected each component the same way.
Every part of his blood boiled when it came into contact with silver and evaporated when I took it into the sun.
And still he insisted on trying the same experiments again, then again.
I had the suspicion that he didn’t know what to do next, or perhaps he simply liked doing it.
I wouldn’t have minded had he not insisted I be with him when he did.
As much as I found myself looking forward to our evenings together, the lab was small, so I was forced to wedge in side by side with him, praying that he couldn’t detect how my heart raced humiliatingly every time he brushed my arm reaching for a new beaker.
‘You need to repeat an experiment several times to prove the result,’ he explained to me in patient tones when I finally spoke up, which was the same line he’d used for weeks.
‘And what is the result?’ I asked. ‘We haven’t learnt anything.’
‘I’m open to other ideas if you have them,’ he said testily.
‘I have ideas,’ I snapped, ‘but I can’t test them on blood. I need an actual vampire.’
Which was true. Ever since my trip to Triz I’d been pondering the contents of the bag Father Leon had given me.
Inside was a wooden crucifix, which made me wonder if there was a difference between wood and silver, or if something else was at play.
Raleigh had seemed only faintly averse to my homemade cross when I’d first tried to kill him, but he was utterly paralysed by the silver one Yann had wielded in Orlfen.
Silver, I now knew, would hurt Raleigh on contact, but I wanted to know how much of his aversion to the cross was real and how much was reasonable caution.
I waited for Raleigh to turn me down, but instead his brow hooked in curiosity. ‘Can I know what I’m agreeing to before I sign my body away to science?’
I hadn’t expected him to agree, and now I wasn’t sure what to do. ‘I don’t think it would work if I told you,’ I admitted.
‘Good thing I trust you, then,’ Raleigh said without hesitation. The ease with which he spoke wormed into me, shattering another layer of my defences. ‘Do you have everything you need here?’
I left him to clean up his useless blood trial while I ran upstairs to find the bag Father Leon had given me.
I returned to the lab with the bag, filled only with a collection of crucifixes, including the one from Orlfen, and a scrap of fabric I’d cut from my curtain to serve as a blindfold.
The curtain had regrown itself somewhat indignantly before I’d left the room, and I found myself apologising to the castle.
Raleigh had cleared a space in the lab by the time I returned. I told him to sit while I hefted the bag onto the table and removed the scrap of curtain. Raleigh immediately seemed to know what it was for. He blinked at it, then looked away quickly, colour dusting his cheeks.
‘I don’t know if I …’
‘It’s just a blindfold,’ I said dismissively. ‘For this to work, I can’t have you seeing what I’m doing.’
‘This isn’t some sort of trick, is it?’ he asked.
I raised my brows. ‘What could I possibly gain from killing you at this stage?’
He stared at me for a moment, his expression inscrutable as he studied mine, then sighed and obediently donned the blindfold. It made him look strangely vulnerable – smaller somehow.
I tore my eyes away. I wasn’t here to stare at him, even if the idea was irritatingly appealing. There was an experiment to do.
I withdrew the wooden cross and waved it at him.
Raleigh didn’t so much as flinch. Interesting.
I placed it on the table and brought out a rosary, which had been threaded with a silver crucifix at the end.
Again, there was no response from Raleigh, even when I dangled the cross right before his blinded eyes.
So his aversion to the cross had to come from its perception.
Finally, I removed the crucifix from Orlfen. At first he still gave no response, but when I pushed it towards him along the table Raleigh hissed in a breath, teeth extending viciously. ‘What is that?’
‘Tell me what you feel.’
His lips trembled as he sounded out the right word. ‘Terror,’ he said at last.
‘Is that all?’ I slowly slid the cross closer to him.
‘What do you mean is that— Stop. Stop. Whatever you’re doing now, stop it.’
I snatched it back, then hastily threw it back into the bag. Raleigh slumped in his seat, trembling ever so slightly.
‘Are you all right?’
‘What was that?’
‘The crucifix I brought back from Orlfen.’
Raleigh made a disgusted noise. ‘You kept that?’
‘I was feeling devout,’ I said blandly. The wooden one still lay in plain sight on the table, not bothering Raleigh at all.
Faith, I’d read, was the guiding power behind a vampire’s aversion to religious artefacts.
The religion itself didn’t matter so long as the icon had been in the presence of real faith, and Orlfen’s crucifix had stood on its altar for decades, if not centuries.
Silver was equally repellent, so it was no surprise the effects were so potent when the two were combined.
‘I’m going to touch you now,’ I said in warning.
Raleigh tensed. ‘Not with the silver,’ I added, and while he nodded, he still looked ready to flee at any moment.
‘Just your hand.’ He looked marginally more relaxed then, though he still gave off the impression of a man forced to sit on needles.
‘I’ll start with our control.’ I gently laid two fingers on the back of his hand.
He jerked back as if burnt, then, realising he wasn’t in any pain, slowly returned his hand to the table.
‘It’s just me,’ I said this time, and laid my hand over his.
His skin was cool, and while I expected to be able to feel the absence of his pulse, his battling muscles trying to relax kept him in constant motion.
‘I don—’ His lips formed the words, but he cut himself off. I covered the cross on the table with my other hand, watching for a change in his reaction. Nothing. I lifted my fingers from his skin. His muscles unfurled, tension lifting.
Realisation struck with a winding blow. The cross wasn’t the issue at all. I snatched my hand away. ‘Take the blindfold off. We’ll stop.’
‘You don’t have to worry about me.’ His voice was tiny, unconvincing.
‘You can sit there blind all night for all I care, but I’m not continuing. Take it off.’
Raleigh hesitated a beat longer, then untied the blindfold.
With perfect precision he very slowly and neatly folded it before setting it on the table.
His lashes glistened in the candlelight.
Then he noticed the wooden cross lying on the table and leapt out of his seat. ‘How long has that been there?’
‘Does it affect you?’
‘Obviously.’
‘Did it before? Or only when you noticed it?’
Raleigh started to reply as though the answer was obvious, then stopped himself. ‘How long has it been there?’
‘The whole time.’ I placed it back inside its cloth bag and drew the string, watching for Raleigh’s reaction.
As soon as it was out of sight he settled back into his seat.
‘My next test was to touch you with it to see if it would have a physical impact if you didn’t know it was there. We can try another time.’
Raleigh wouldn’t meet my eye. ‘I probably look ridiculous to you, don’t I?’ His voice dripped with scorn. ‘After everything I’ve put you through, I can’t even handle you touching my hand with my eyes closed.’
I let his words sit for a moment. ‘You don’t look ridiculous,’ I said at last. ‘I should have warned you about the cross.’
‘It’s not the …’ Raleigh trailed off. ‘What were you hoping to achieve?’
‘I thought if we could narrow down your weaknesses we might be able to dilute the effect somehow. If we gradually built up your resistance to each weakness, maybe it would dissolve the curse.’ It was a good idea in theory, but it would take months, if not years, to work, if it worked at all.
And I didn’t have years. I barely had months.
‘It feels more like you’re learning how to kill me.’
I made myself smile. ‘I’d never deny Moira that pleasure.’
Raleigh’s lips hooked microscopically. I can’t begin to describe my relief.
He was okay. I hadn’t ruined what little had grown between us.
‘She’d have to fight Enrique for the honour,’ he said.
I could tell the smile that came next was forced, but it meant the world to me that he made the effort.
‘It’s a clever idea. We can try again if you like.
’ He twisted the blindfold. ‘I could close my eyes instead.’
‘That will work,’ I said as gently as I dared. ‘If you need to open them at any point, just tell me first. We’ll do this on your terms.’
He looked more moved than he had any business being. There was something more to this, something he hadn’t told me. I hoped that one day he might trust me enough to share it.