Chapter 17
The daze Glimmer was in couldn’t be broken by anyone . . . until she heard her voice. Something in her broke at the motherly tone and fretting.
She registered the people she loved telling Charlene Laurent what happened in hushed voices.
Haze was there, Kyomi, Deja . . . Gideon.
Gideon. Her heart ached when she heard his deep voice.
Her feelings were conflicted when it came to him at the moment.
What she saw back at her mother’s apartment . . .
“Glimmer, honey. Look at me.” Charlene’s voice broke through her scattered thoughts. Glimmer focused once again on the large brown eyes of a woman she hadn’t seen in two decades.
Her black hair had a few streaks of silver, and she had a few more pounds around her middle, but other than that, Charlene hadn’t aged much. She was a timeless beauty with her toffee-colored skin and kind smile. Even through her tears, Glimmer admired the older woman.
“She never wanted me.” Glimmer placed her hands over her face and sobbed.
“Oh, baby.” Charlene gathered Glimmer into her arms. “Give us a moment,” she murmured to the room. One by one, Haze, Deja, and Kyomi left Glimmer and Gideon’s room. Gideon stood at the edge of his bed with his arms crossed as he peered at Glimmer. Charlene glanced up at him in warning. “Gideon.”
“With all due respect, Mama Charlene, I’m not leaving her,” Gideon said.
Charlene peered up at him as if she wanted to say more, but a glint of appreciation flashed in her eyes before she looked back at Glimmer.
“You got a guard dog here.” She smiled widely as she peered at Glimmer.
Guard dog. That was the second time she heard that today.
She looked up at Gideon through her blurred eyes and wondered if the term guard dog was a good thing or a bad thing.
She shivered. The image of him dragging Trick around by a spiked collar flooded her mind.
She’d never seen him that way. So vicious.
“You okay?” Gideon whispered as she continued to stare at him.
She didn’t respond, but she did continue to cry.
She was okay physically. It was her mental that was all fucked up.
She wanted to let him know it wasn’t his fault.
Not really. Seeing what he did to Trick was something she desperately wished she could unsee, yeah, but it was her mother that caused the emotional damage. Not him.
“Gideon . . .” Charlene sighed and then glanced up at him again.
“I’m not goin’ anywhere, Mama.” Gideon’s words were final.
Charlene sighed and then seemed to decide to just ignore Gideon then. She focused completely on Glimmer and smoothed her silky hair away from her wet face.
“Ya mama was never built to be a good mama, and I’m sorry, baby.
I’m sorry she chose money over you. I’m sorry she didn’t care to pay your feelings any mind.
But you know what? You have so many people around you now that love you, and I know ya daddy loves the ground you walk on.
You gotta focus on those people. Focus on me. You know I always saw you as my own.”
“Her father is the one that told her to talk to her mama.” Gideon’s words challenged Charlene.
Glimmer knew him well enough to know he didn’t mean to come off as challenging, but he was worked up at the moment. She couldn’t blame him. This whole situation had her looking at her dad sideways too. It was something she didn’t want to worry about that night though.
“It may have been a long time since I’ve seen Juke, but I know his love for Glimmer hasn’t changed.
” She cut her eyes at Gideon before she focused back on Glimmer.
“My point is, you have people around you who adore you, including this big ass nigga behind me.” She inclined her head toward Gideon and cracked a smile.
Glimmer didn’t smile back, but her tears slowed some. Her heart felt broken, but having Charlene there definitely took the edge off.
“Thank you,” Glimmer uttered.
Charlene pulled Glimmer into her once again. Glimmer breathed her perfume in and was transported back to her childhood. Charlene was the reason Glimmer became fascinated with smelling good. The woman always smelled warm, like vanilla and amber.
“I know what can make you feel better. How about a home-cooked meal?” Charlene suggested.
Despite her misery, the corners of Glimmer’s lips tugged up. One thing about Charlene was she could cook her ass off, and everyone loved her cooking. Her father used to cook for her when she was growing up, but not even he could hold a candle to Charlene.
Glimmer nodded. Charlene gave her shoulder a squeeze before she stood and pinched Gideon on his bicep. He didn’t flinch or even make a face. He simply stared down at Charlene helplessly, as if she had the answers on how to deal with his wife after what he did and what she had to witness.
Charlene’s eyes softened, and she reached up and patted his cheek.
“Big Henry had me in the room when some wild shit went down exactly one time. He never let it happen again. Most women aren’t built to see the shit y’all do.
All I can tell you is to make sure it doesn’t happen again. Love on her and listen to her.”
Charlene didn’t whisper as if Glimmer wasn’t in the room. She spoke clearly and intentionally so they could both hear. She patted his chest before she walked out the door.
Gideon looked at Glimmer guiltily. Fresh tears fell from her eyes as she averted them. Gideon sighed and sat on the edge of the bed.
“Baby . . .”
“Not right now, Gideon, okay? I just . . . I need a minute.” Glimmer finally looked into his eyes, and her heart broke.
He looked like a lost puppy with his brown eyes and deep frown.
She didn’t want to hurt him, but she needed a moment to sort through her mommy issues before she focused on her marital issues.
“Can I just have the night, Gideon? I’m not mad at you, but I just need to be by myself right now.
I can go to a guest room—” The look he gave her made her pause. “Or not?”
Gideon leaned over and grabbed the back of her head. He kissed her forehead and then her cheek and then her lips. “Get comfortable. Enjoy your night in our room. I’ll take a guest room, but we need to talk about this tomorrow, okay? You ain’t alone anymore. Ain’t no dealin’ with this by yourself.”
Glimmer nodded and looked down at the bedspread and whispered, “Okay.”
“I’ll bring you a plate when Mama Charlene is done cookin’. You need anything else?”
Glimmer thought about it for a second. With a lump in her throat, she puckered her lips and leaned her head up toward him. Gideon’s somber expression lightened slightly as he leaned down and kissed her once more.
She offered him a sad smile. “I think I’m good now.”
“Come find me if you need more.” Gideon walked out of the room.
When the door closed and she was finally alone, Glimmer lay down, right on top of the comforter, and let out a sob.