Chapter 46
Fen. Zelle’s dire wolf.
It’s been many moons since the old commander met his fate at the hands of Benny’s rebels, and from what Ryne said in Galreck, I assumed Fen would have already passed on.
The bond between a dire wolf and its knight is absolute. When one dies, the other follows. Not instantly, but in a slow fading as their soul, now split and unable to recover, loses its grip on mortality until Mortidem claims them.
I don’t hesitate, the weakness of a moment ago forgotten as I bound onto the nearest horse and race after Elska and Kyor.
At first, I can’t make sense of what I’m seeing. There’s stirring in the mud, but it’s only when I’m close enough that I know they’re right. A dire wolf. Mud-coated and trapped in the centre of the river.
His reddish fur is almost entirely brown, and his shoulders move back and forth as if he might somehow be able to claw himself out of the thick mud, but if anything, it’s only making him sink deeper.
‘Elska, get away from the river, now!’ Kyor yells as Elska edges down the silt-covered riverbank. ‘Get away from there! You’ll get trapped too!’ His panicked shout sends birds flying from nearby trees, and I struggle to hold my horse still as she dances in place, nerves firing.
‘The dire wolf cannot be saved,’ Thessa says sadly from behind me, the others having galloped to my side. ‘The Taron River does not give up its victims once captured. I told you. Only step on the rocks. The black mire is certain death. When the tide comes in …’
I cannot listen to her explanation anymore. I don’t need to.
His fear, his panic, it was mine. For one raw heartbeat, it was me facing death, and I would no more let him die than I would willingly stop breathing.
My skittering horse is not helping, so I slide off her back.
‘Here.’ Ruben takes the reins from me without hesitation. ‘I’ve got her. You go.’
I don’t need him to tell me twice.
Elska is padding closer and closer to the bank, whining softly as she tries to figure out a route into the river to Fen. But there is none. Not for a wolf of her size. Not without her ending up just like Fen.
‘Hold her!’ I snap at Kyor. ‘Hold her in place with your magic.’
He grinds his teeth. ‘She won’t forgive me. I’ve never used my magic on her – against her.’
‘Better angry than dead,’ I point out sharply.
I’ve seen Kyor in impossible situations before. Defeating a giant on his own. Bringing an entire battle yard of Rettlings to their knees. But I’ve never seen him like this – frozen by fear.
‘Do it!’ I bite out, and he does.
Elska lets out a snarl of pure fury as his magic clicks into place around her, holding her. Pain contorts Kyor’s face, but Elska is safe, even if she doesn’t want to be. That’s one less thing to worry about.
With her secure, I turn back to the others.
‘I won’t let Zelle’s wolf die like this,’ I tell them stubbornly. ‘Without Zelle’s training, I’d have died in the Retterheld. I owe him.’ I look at Benny. ‘You and your rebels are the reason he’s out here. Will you help me?’
‘Of course,’ Benny says instantly, as if there was never any doubt.
‘There is no getting him, The Rose,’ Stide says stubbornly. ‘He is in the quagmire. Mortidem stalks him.’
‘Fuck Mortidem!’ I snap. ‘Fen is not dying today.’
The tide is coming in, and the water is rising. Fen is tiring and weak, his head dangerously close to dipping below the waterline. Gods know how long he’s been struggling already.
But he’s not alone. Not anymore.
‘I’ll wade into the water and hold his head up,’ I begin, the plan already forming in my mind. ‘Once I’m—’
‘But—’
‘I’ll stick to the rocks,’ I cut Stide off, already knowing what she was going to say.
‘I’ll stick to the rocks, hold his head up, and when he’s not in immediate danger, I’ll grow the vines from here.
’ I point to a tree covered in thick, dense ivy.
‘When the vines are long and thick enough, one of you will need to bring them to me in the river so I can tie them around him.’
I see the doubt lingering in the faces of the Sannings, but I’m done with the days of doubting myself. I’m the gifted. I’ve survived loss and pain and fought to get where I am today. I can do this.
‘I’ll make them strong enough to hold his weight,’ I assure them. ‘Strong enough that they won’t snap. We can pull him out. I know we can. I just need you to do what I say and give it everything you’ve got.’
‘Do it,’ Benny says. ‘You grow the vine, Rose, and I’ll bring it to you.’ His eyes flick to Kyor, who stands alone, all his energy focused on holding Elska still against her will. ‘It’s the least I can do.’
Benny dismounts and hands his horse’s reins to Loch.
Then he joins me, looking into the river.
He goes up a slope that’s a fair bit steeper than the rest, climbs on top of a large rock resting at the apex, and then looks down into the raging waters.
‘Okay, Rose, step just where I tell you to,’ Benny instructs. ‘I’ll spot the safest path through.’
Gratitude swamps me. Regardless of what reparations he needs to make with Kyor, I thank the Gods for the day I met Benny.
‘Just tell me where I need to go.’
‘Enter there,’ he says, pointing to a section where a tree bows low over the river. ‘Its roots are strong,’ he tells me. ‘Hold on to its branches as you enter; there are plenty of rocks to stand on if you go in there.’
I remove my dagger, only to momentarily contemplate whether it’s safe to leave it in the Sannings’ presence.
‘We will not take it,’ Stide says, reading my thoughts.
My eyes go to Caz, who offers me a nod of assurance.
Knowing it’s safe, I take off my fur too and leave them both on the riverside, and then I follow Benny’s instructions.
I grasp the tree’s nearest branch and gasp as I step into the freezing river. The water is cold enough that it rips my breath away, and for a beat or two I struggle to even breathe, let alone move.
‘Move, Rose!’ Benny yells. ‘You need to move before the cold saps your strength. It’s only going to get harder if you linger.’
It’s hardly a tender word of encouragement, but it’s what I need to get moving all the same. I know all about the bitter cold. I’ve survived it many times, and this will be no different.
I recall the snap of the freezing water around the temple on the night I made my offering to Etta, and my determination to reach the temple no matter what. I use that same stubbornness now as I inch further into the icy water.
Fen must have tried to cross the Taron during low tide and got stuck in the sucking mud. He’s been trapped ever since, cold and afraid.
This is who Elska has been scared for, I realise belatedly. She’s been feeling Fen. Maybe it’s a trait of dire wolves, to feel each other’s pain the way they can with their bonded?
It doesn’t explain why I could feel his fear too, but right now, all I can do is add it to the long list of questions to find answers to, along with what’s happening to William’s skin, why Kay isn’t showing powers, and how the heck to get mine under control.
Though whether I ever get to ask them depends on me actually surviving long enough to do so.
The first few steps come easier than I expected. Yes, it’s cold, but I know cold well. The stones under my feet sometimes rock and move, but Benny is there, ready to shout where I should move my feet next.
‘You need to go wide, around to the left of him!’ Benny yells from the riverbank.
I do as he says and thankfully find some more stable footing, but it’s not just my feet I have to worry about now.
The push of the tide is relentless, constantly threatening to sweep me away and downriver.
My legs and stomach burn with the force of fighting against it as I wade through, muscles weakening with the constant shivering that grips my entire body.
Finally, I reach the exhausted wolf.
‘Hey,’ I say softly when I reach him. ‘I know you don’t know me, and I know you probably don’t understand what I’m saying, but I was friends with Zelle.’
His eyes widen at the mention of the old commander’s name, and he lets out a slight whine. It’s a tiny noise, barely audible, and yet it’s enough to send Elska into a howling frenzy.
In answer to her torment, Fen renews his struggles, only to sink deeper into the mire as a result of his thrashing.
‘Kyor!’ I shout back to the bank. ‘Keep her calm! She’s making things worse!’
‘You think I don’t know that!’ he yells, but he must manage to do something because her howls cease.
I turn back to Fen and look into his intelligent olive-green eyes. ‘I’m going to hold your head up for you because I think you’re real tired, big guy. So do me a favour and please don’t bite my hands off, okay? I’m not going to be able to help you if you do that.’
I’m only half joking.
Keeping my weight equally balanced, legs akimbo, I reach out and cup his chin, lifting it clear of the water.
He is breathing heavily, but he’s looking at me, willing me to help.
Hope.
His eyes are filled with hope. And I know exactly how dangerous that is.
‘That’s right, big guy, we’re getting you out of here,’ I promise.
His head is heavier than I expected, especially with waterlogged fur, and the shaking – whether from fear, cold, or pure exhaustion – makes holding it up even harder.
If we don’t get him out fast, he’s not going to make it.
I check my hands and make sure his head is positioned safely out of the water, then turn my attention to the riverbank.
Closing my eyes, I call to my magic and pull at the ivy, entreating it to grow to me.
‘It’s too thin!’ Caz yells out from where she holds the horses. ‘It won’t take his weight. You need to make it thicker.’
Thicker. Stronger.
‘Not too thick!’ Benny shouts at me a second later. ‘Or I won’t be able to fit my hands around it!’
Llinos’s voice threatens a pithy comeback in my mind, but I push it down. Now is not the time for ghosts when the living so clearly need me.