Chapter 24
AMALIA
I PRESS A FRESH STRIP of tape over the gauze on my forearm where the dock railing tore it open. It’s nothing. Just a scratch. I barely felt it until we got here and the adrenaline wore off, and now it stings every time I move my wrist.
Matteo and I got out. It’s the only thing that matters. But I can’t stop thinking about the moment when I saw a gun aimed at Matteo, and I didn’t think about anything. I just shoved him down without thinking about the consequences and my safety.
And it bothers me that I didn’t have to think about it at all.
I fill a glass and lean against the kitchen counter. I’ve thrown myself in front of plenty of things in my life, but always for a reason. Tonight, there wasn’t one. I just didn’t want Matteo dead.
So what does that mean?
I turn the glass in my hands. Maybe it’s only that we’ve been together every hour for weeks now, working the same problem and sleeping under the same roof. Maybe it’s a habit. People who fight next to each other start to cover each other, and that’s all.
But I’m not sure I believe it, because I could’ve let him take the shot. I think about that more than I want to. One second slower and he’d be gone, and maybe I wouldn’t even need a partner since now everyone seems to have accepted me.
I set the glass down before I crush it. The trouble is, I don’t want Matteo gone.
At some point, I started looking forward to the sound of his voice.
I like arguing with him. I like that he backs my calls, even when he thinks I’m wrong, and that he tells me about it instead of just nodding along.
None of that was supposed to happen. We had a deal, and feelings were never on the table.
I rub my forehead. This is exactly how people get killed in our world.
You let yourself care about someone, and then they become a weakness everyone aims for.
Tomasso drilled that into me before I could even hold a gun.
He said the moment you love something, you hand your enemy a weapon, because now they know what to take from you.
But I’m not made of stone, no matter how much easier it would be if I were.
I loved Tomasso like a second father, and look where it got me.
He’s dead, and instead of letting it go, I swore I’d put Dominic in the ground for it.
If I were truly cold, I’d have done what my father would.
Tomasso’s gone, the business is mine, and I’d move on.
But I didn’t do that. I started a whole war over my grief, and now here I am, risking everything for a man Dominic almost took from me today.
Maybe caring is just what I do, and I can’t switch it off.
If I let myself stay like I am, soft for Matteo and burning for Tomasso, it’s going to get me killed.
I know it. My father would say so. A woman who feels too much doesn’t last in this life, and I’ve already given Dominic one way to hurt me. I don’t need to give him a second.
Does Matteo even feel anything back? Or am I the only fool catching feelings in a marriage that’s supposed to be only on paper?
Men like Matteo are good at making you believe things.
He could be playing me, keeping me close, and loyal to me only because a partner who’d take a bullet for him is worth more than gold.
I’d think like that if I were him, and I’d use it.
So maybe he’s using me, and maybe I’m letting him.
I let out a long breath and shake my head.
None of this will get me anywhere. I can stay here and pick at my own heart all night, or I can do the thing that actually matters, which is finding out who sold us out at the dock.
Dominic knew what he wasn’t supposed to, which means I’m the one who has a mole.
I need to figure out who it is and catch him before it’s too late.