Chapter 33
CASSIO
“ C assio, what is this place?” Her voice trembles as I pull up beside the wharf. The boat here was all that got left to my mother after her father died, and it’s always here that we come to meet.
“You’ll like it here. It’s a shame we can’t stay for long.” I get out of the car and rush around the hood to help her. Those babies my brother fucked into her are such a burden on her body, she can barely walk. I’m not expecting learning to love them to come easy, but for her, I will try.
“You look pretty, today. I forgot to tell you that.” I support her back and help her step across the deck toward the boat.
“Cassio, I’m really scared, please tell me what’s happening.”
I stop when we get to the boat and have to use the back of my hand I’m holding the gun with to wipe the tears from her eyes. I can’t risk her running on me, even if she would be slow. The last thing I want to have to do is shoot her.
“I told you, you have no reason to fear me. I never intended for you to get hurt in that car crash, you were just supposed to lose the babies. ”
“ What!? ” She struggles against me like she's about to run but I wrap my arm around her throat and hold her tight to me.
“Listen, you have to let me finish.” I hold the gun to her stomach, knowing that it will force her to do as I say. I’ve made mistakes, I can admit to that, and she needs to hear me out before she judges me on them.
Her scream echoes around the lake and sets birds flying from the trees but there's no one here to hear her.
“Don’t work yourself up,” I whisper in her ear. “I was wrong. I was being selfish. I promise I won’t hurt our babies.” I drop my hand down her body and rest it over them. “ I just need you to promise me that you’ll let me explain.” I feel her head nod and gently release her, keeping the gun pointed at her as I unlock the boat for us.
“After you.” I gesture my head, for her to climb onboard and watch her close her eyes and sigh before she does as I command.
“Here, make yourself comfortable.” I rush to the bench seat and clear it one-handed so she can sit down comfortably, and when she gently lowers herself down, I offer her my arm for support.
“You look exhausted.” I smile at her. “I wish we had more time for you to rest but we have to keep moving.”
“You caused the accident?” Madalina holds her hand over her stomach like she believes I still pose a threat to the lives she carries inside her.
“I’m not proud of what I did, but back then my head was in a different place. You were so mad at Dario for what he did to you, I wanted us to have a fresh start without any reminders of your time with him. I had no idea that you cared for your babies until you were in the ambulance, crying about losing them.” My hand strokes over her huge protruding stomach and I force myself to smile .
“Cassio, what are you talking about?” she whimpers back at me, like a puppy that’s just been kicked.
“I have to start from the beginning for you to understand.” I keep my voice low and calm as I try to soothe her. “I was born the DeMarco bastard to a woman who my father was having an affair with. My mother was young, barely even legal and when I was born I was taken from her and raised by a couple who my father selected for the job.”
I see the glimpse of pity overcome the fear in her eyes and smile sadly at her empathy. “My father is a cruel, vindictive man, who made my mother promises he didn’t keep. He promised to take care of her. He told her loved her, but instead of stepping up, he took me and married her to an old widow from one of his districts. He forced her into a loveless marriage, just so no one else could have her.” I watch her face screw up as if she’s trying to piece things together.
“The couple who raised me never treated me like a son, they made it very clear that my only relevance would be to replace Dario if the worst happened. And my father…” I laugh to myself. He’d grace me with a visit once maybe twice a year. I remember those visits. I was always so keen to see him, all I wanted to do was impress him and have him be proud of me.
“I’m sorry you went through that Cassio, but–”
“My mother never gave up on me. She was powerless, but determined, and she somehow managed to convince the woman who was taking care of me to let her visit once a month.” I smile when I think about how happy I’d be to see her. How, for just one hour every month, I felt as if I could be completely myself. “The people I lived with were strict and made sure I was raised to my father’s agenda. Mom would want to play with me and read me stories. She’d hold me so tight in her arms that I thought I’d be crushed.” I smile fondly until I remember how much it would hurt when she had to leave.
“Then there were the secret visits. My mom knew that my nanny would take me to the park on Washington Street every Tuesday at Four pm, and she’d be there every time without fail…with you.” I take her hand in mine and watch her eyes widen in shock.
“ Serena? ” Madalina shakes her head in bewilderment.
“You were such a bright, friendly thing. You’d run off and play with the other kids, and as much as I loved seeing my mom and knowing she was close, it was you I’d look forward to seeing every Tuesday.”
“Serena's your mom?” she checks.
“You never noticed me. I was too quiet and too shy to even consider talking to you.”
‘Serena is your mom?” she repeats, ignoring what I’m telling her and getting me agitated.
“Yes, Madalina but that’s not what’s important.”
“She can’t be, she would have told us.” Her head shakes.
“She couldn’t. She couldn’t tell anyone, my father swore her to secrecy because of her age and how it would have affected his marriage. This is where we started meeting when I got older.” I look around the space that we’ve made our own. “Of course, my father had no idea, he still has no idea. He doesn’t even know that I know who she is.”
“I’m sorry, that must be tough,” I feel her sympathy but that’s not what I want.
“Now you know what I mean when I say, you were mine before you were Dario’s. I saw you first. I fell in love with you from the stories my mom used to tell me about you. And now, I’m making it right.” I stroke my hand over her tummy again, trying my best to fit the two little girls she’s carrying into my perfect picture .
“Cassio, I’m married to Dario and I love him.”
“No, you don’t!” I feel the flickers of rage building up in my chest. “You have trained yourself to love him because you had no other option. You didn’t want to marry him, you wanted to fall in love and be swept off your feet. Just like the women in all those chick flicks you and Mom used to watch together.”
“But life isn’t like tha–”
“Shhh.” I use my hand to cover her mouth and stop her from saying anything more to anger me.
“That's what I’m trying to tell you. It can be like that. I’m making a new start for us. For all four of us. I will love these babies because they belong to you, and everything you do is perfect.”
“But you tried to kill them, you killed Lucian. How is that even possible? You were right there. You helped me.” My poor girl looks more and more confused.
“I got to be your hero, and even you have to admit, from that day you saw me differently,” I remind her. “Silvano Fabriano already had his issues with Dario, my brother was supposed to marry his sister, and his father lost his district because of Dario’s obsession with you. I convinced him to help me, knowing that he had already pulled off the hit on your father.”
“You arranged for my father to be killed?” Her head shakes as fresh tears fill her pretty, blue eyes.
“No, no! That was my father, he wanted your old man dead and he let Fabriano have the pleasure of seeing it through. Knowing that the guy had a motive, I asked him to cause the accident. He shot my brother's best guard with the condescending little gift he gave me when I turned eighteen.” I laugh to myself when I think about the irony of it all.
“So, you arranged all that in the hope that I would lose my babies?” She clutches at her middle again, which only proves that she’s not taking in what I’m telling her.
“I was convinced the shock and trauma would cause a miscarriage. All Dario ever went on to father about is how fragile you were in your condition, and I’ll be honest I wanted him to hurt. Since the day he was born he’s had it all, I wasn’t going to let him have you too.”
“You’re a monster.” She shakes her head in disgust and I slide from the couch onto my knees in front of her.
“I’m not proud of myself, and I swear, when I saw how scared you were for them, I prayed for them to be okay. I promised myself that if they survived I would accept them and love them, wholeheartedly.” I place the gun on the floor close to me, cradling her stomach in my hands tight enough for her to know I mean it.
“I get that you hate me now, but you’ll learn to forgive me and to love me, just like you learned with Dario.” I smile up at her as I slide my hands down her soft, smooth legs.
“I have a bag packed for you, it should last a few days, and I have plenty of money. We’re going to have to go off-grid for a while, but it’ll be good for us. It will help you accept me without distraction.”
“ No .” She shakes her head and sobs.
“Come on, stress isn’t good for our little ones, you must think of them.” I rub my thumb against her ankle and slowly undo the buckle. “You must be uncomfortable in these shoes. You can travel barefoot.” I slip the high heel off her and move over to the next one and when both shoes are off, I massage her ankles, hoping it will calm her. I understand this must be scary for her, my brother has spent months brainwashing her. It will take some time, but I will make it right.
“Cassio.” I look up, and when I see her smiling down at me I smile back. “Go to fucking Hell!” She kicks me hard in the face and then stamps on my balls before she bolts for the door.