9. All The Apologies （Hattie） #2
“No, I’m not. It’s just the heat from juggling all these books. How many boxes are there?” I huff an exaggerated breath.
“Girl, you’re about as white as you come. A blush on you is as obvious as fireworks and you didn’t go red until we started talking about the big meet and greet.” She leans her hip against the desk. “So what happened?”
I decide to feed her a partial truth.
“Mom was… Well, she was Mom. You know how she is. She didn’t want me eating too much and turning into a pumpkin in front of my perfect new family.”
“Holy shit, right there?” Margot’s mouth twists sourly. “I hope you told her where to stick it.”
A burst of humiliation washes over me.
Margot wouldn’t have hesitated clapping back at her mother, but their relationship has always been different.
Or maybe I’m just a giant pushover, at least when it comes to my mother.
I know it comes from a place of love and concern, which makes it harder.
For all her obnoxious faults, she does love me.
But that doesn’t excuse her rotten behavior.
Out of habit, I brush a hand over the soft curve of my stomach, pinching the excess skin down there.
Mom always warned me you were fat if you could pinch off more than an inch or two. And I know it’s BS, but I can’t help going back to it.
Always testing, testing, worrying I’ll gain a few more pounds, and then I’ll never hear the end of it until the day an extra cinnamon roll kills me.
“Hattie!” Margot slaps her hand away. “You can’t keep falling for her crap, okay? You’re gorgeous just the way you are. Do you want me to have words with her?”
“No.” I sigh. “It’s fine. Actually, Ethan came to my rescue. He stood up for me.”
“Ethan?” Margot does a double take, blinking like a startled chipmunk. “My dumbass older brother Ethan? The surly idiot who pushed a ring on you to get his money? That Ethan?”
“I was just as surprised as you. He basically insisted I should eat what I want and enjoy, right to Mom’s face.”
“He did, huh? Wow.” Margot chews her lip before dismissing whatever thought she had. “Not gonna lie, it’s suspicious. Then again, if he’s turning into an actual human being for once because Gramps is gone, fine. I didn’t think it was possible, but if I’m wrong, hey, cool.”
I poke her in the side.
“He’s not always awful.”
“I mean, I guess not if he had a secret personality transplant I never knew about.” She looks at me. “Which seems likely if you’re changing your opinion of him.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” I rush out. “It was one time, Margot. I was just grateful, that’s all.”
Before she can say anything else or get too up in her head about me admitting Ethan isn’t evil incarnate, the bell to the front door rings and I look out just in time to see a tall man walking into the store.
I must’ve forgotten to lock up after moving some books in earlier.
“Sorry,” I call as I run out, fixing a polite smile on my face. “We’re temporarily closed.”
I point to the sign on the door which says Closed in pretty cursive.
“Will you forgive the intrusion for a friend?” the man says, flashing his abnormally white teeth.
That smile triggers a memory.
“Cooper Daley?” I frown.
His smile widens with delight.
“You remembered! You’re better than I am with faces, Miss Sage.”
I stare at him, trying to find my own smile again. After the way Ethan reacted, he’d be a hard face to forget.
“That’s great! Although I have to say, part of me hoped you wouldn’t.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because I bungled my first impression.” He approaches, giving me ample opportunity to notice he’s wearing a shirt and suit pants that look runway worthy—almost absurdly attractive. “Anyway, I was hoping I could give it another try now.”
What is going on?
I swallow hard.
Margot arrives by my side and gives him a brief once-over, then a smile.
Not the devastating flirty one she uses to impress, but a polite one.
Definitely not like Ethan, who swooped in bristling with aggression.
“Margot Blackthorn?” Cooper whistles, looking just as pleased to see her as he was to see me. “I wasn’t expecting to find you here.”
Margot jerks her thumb at me. “Hattie owns this place now. I’m helping her spruce it up and get organized.”
“Besties till the end. Couldn’t do it without her,” I joke.
Margot smirks. “I am kinda invaluable like that.”
I roll my eyes as I turn pointedly back to Cooper.
I haven’t thought much about him since Ethan exploded in his face. Now, I wonder why.
In the middle of the store, eyeing the books with interest, he doesn’t look like a bad guy at all.
Although I’ll admit, I might be more than a little dazzled by his appearance.
I’m not shallow, but I’m a human woman with eyes, and he is very nice to look at.
Can a bad guy really pull off tan suit pants and a classic Ralph Lauren look like he just walked off a sailboat?
He places a hand on his chest and gives me another disarming smile, noticing my observation but not seeming to mind.
“I really am sorry for making a mess of things at the dinner,” he says. “Truth be told, I’ve been beating myself up over it ever since.”
The corners of his eyes crease with sincerity as he looks at me.
Margot returns to sorting a smaller stack of books from a box near the register, ignoring us again as she puts in her earbuds and hums to the music.
“Beating yourself up? Why?” I ask cautiously. “Don’t do that. I’m not sure what got into Ethan, honestly.”
“Nah, don’t apologize. I never wanted to cause any friction between you two. Ethan had every right to get a little territorial, and at such a sensitive time for the poor man, too.” The sides of his mouth turn down in a frown.
“It is a bit difficult right now,” I agree, glancing at Margot again, though she doesn’t seem to have heard.
When she glances up, she just offers me a shrug.
Guess I’m on my own.
“Can I ask what’s up with you guys? Ethan doesn’t like you very much, but I’m not sure why,” I offer. “Actually, he warned me to stay away from you.”
Cooper smiles, grabbing his chest in a pained motion.
“I’m sorry to hear that. But I’m not surprised. Frankly, I think we got off on the wrong foot years ago. He never liked how close I was with his grandfather, and perhaps he had good reason.” Redness lights Cooper’s cheekbones and he runs a hand through his hair, looking chagrined.
“Well, I don’t know what went on, but—”
“Hold on, let me get to the point.” He holds up a hand, digging around in his pocket until a brown envelope appears. “I’m no villain, Miss Sage—Hattie. Can I call you that?”
The flash of his teeth is mesmerizing.
“Sure.” I blink to try and clear my head.
“I’m afraid I have a…” He grimaces. “A complicated history with the Blackthorns. And I’m somewhat at fault for Ethan’s suspicions, I’ll admit. However, I came to make amends.”
I give him another frown. “The bookstore, you mean?”
“That’s right. I heard you worked here.”
“How do you mean?”
That’s a little weird.
Granted, Portland can be a small place with lots of loose lips. But he still would’ve had to do a little digging, at least for my social media.
That weirds me out a little.
But he hands me the envelope with Ethan’s name on the front in neat print. I don’t follow, but he nods at it roughly, like it explains everything inside.
“Consider this an apology, and a confession of sorts,” he says. “This industry gets as cutthroat as it comes, and if I have any regrets, it’s…” He shifts uncomfortably. “Well, it’s the way my mentorship with Leonidas ended.”
“How did it end?” I ask bluntly, knowing Ethan will never tell me.
He’s a human porcupine with so many secrets.
“Like I said, it’s complicated,” Cooper tells me again. That doesn’t explain much. “Ethan, he would never let me apologize face-to-face, but I’m hoping a letter delivered by you might get through. Will you make sure it finds him?”
An apology, huh?
If that’s all it is, then it can’t be half-bad.
Still, there’s something disarming about Cooper’s smile. I nod slowly.
Whatever Ethan’s beef is, Margot doesn’t seem to have problems with him. Maybe it’s an Ethan problem rather than a Cooper problem.
I feel weirdly guilty for thinking it, though.
I’m sure Ethan had good reasons and Cooper’s basically admitting he did something wrong.
This is a confession , after all.
But a handwritten apology can’t hurt.
Margot heads to the back with another pile of books, leaving me alone with Cooper. He flashes another ivory-white smile.
“I really am sorry about the old man.” He sounds so genuine. “For what it’s worth, he meant a lot to me, and I’ll miss him like mad.”
“Me too.” I speak the truth.
No matter how eccentric Leonidas could be, or how bizarre this marriage clause is, he was always kind.
My heart twists, knowing I’ll never see him again.
It’s a grim reality to contend with every day, and I feel another rush of sympathy for the whole Blackthorn clan.
Even Ethan, known heartless ass that he is.
Losing someone you love never goes down easy.
“I’m sure you do,” Cooper says sympathetically. “Were you close to him? I know you’re good friends with Margot.”
“We’ve been friends since we were kids, so yeah. I’ve known the Blackthorns for a long time.”
“So that’s why you wound up engaged to one, then,” Cooper says with a wink. “Give him the envelope, won’t you? And do tell him I’m sorry, and I hope to work with the Blackthorns again one day.”
I nod hesitantly.
“I’ll pass it along. But if you’re hoping for a reply, I can’t promise anything.”
“Certainly not. That’s not what this is about. I just want him to know how I feel.” He gives me a sad smile. “It was nice seeing you again, Hattie.”
“…you too,” I say, but he’s already leaving.
The bell over the door jingles on his way out.
The envelope lingers in my hands, and when I look down, I realize I’m pinching it so hard it’s wrinkling.