24. All I Am （Ethan）
ALL I AM (ETHAN)
“ S o you are alive,” Margot says.
I blink at her, trying to erase sleep from my brain.
When I heard a knock on the door in the middle of the night, I didn’t think too hard about who it might be.
A lost hiker or just the wind knocking an overgrown branch against the side of the cabin.
No one knows I’m here.
My nosy damn sister certainly shouldn’t .
Now, I’m glaring at her and she’s staring right back, her blonde hair up in a messy bun, and her hands on her hips.
Her power pose, and it means I’m in for one hell of a lecture.
My jaw clenches. I don’t unblock the doorway.
“Margot, it’s two in the morning. What the hell do you want?”
“Oh, nothing. I just got tired of waiting for you to crawl out of your little hidey hole.” Her smile is all knives. “Plus, you never texted back, so somebody had to do a wellness check. Better me than the cops, right? Can I come in?”
“For fuck’s sake—how did you find me?” I mutter, opening the door just enough so she can brush past me.
She sniffs loudly as she looks around.
As cabins go, it’s nice enough, but I’ve been camped out here long enough to make a mess with cheap instant noodle cups overflowing the trash and beer cans everywhere. A shameful row of empty bottles of whiskey line the kitchen counter.
I meant to straighten up about ten times, but it isn’t easy once you’ve reverted back to pissy seventeen-year-old. I’m sure I deserve her judgmental death glare.
“I don’t want you here,” I growl. “There’s a reason I didn’t text you.”
“I know. You have a packed schedule, moping.” She sighs. “But holy shit, Ethan. Look at this place!”
“If it offends you, leave.”
She raises a brow. “Nice try, Brother. But no. You need a full-on intervention, even if you don’t want one. Especially if you don’t want one.” She sniffs again. “Jesus, what is that smell ? Please tell me you’ve been letting Ares out?”
“Fuck you. He gets more walks than he’s had in years. It’s not like I’m doing anything else besides taking the dog out hiking.” Snarling, I stride past her to rip a window open, almost breaking its old crank. “Better?”
“Not yet. Ethan, how could you?” Her tone shifts from standoffish to sad. “I’m your sister. Did you really think I’d love you less because we have different dads?”
Aw, shit. Here we go.
Ten seconds into this and I’m already sick of it.
I fold my arms and glower.
“You first. How did you find me?”
“Um, like it was hard .” She throws herself on the sofa with a huff.
“I mean, I figured you wouldn’t go too far.
It took one call to find out you haven’t taken the jet anywhere.
Then I asked around. Didn’t take long to find the three places around here that still have summer vacancies.
I asked if any of them gave up a long-term rental to a grouch who probably offered them ten times their summer rate to clear their schedules for him. ”
“Smart,” I say dryly.
“Yeah, that’s Portland. Everybody’s nice and they like to talk—everybody with one exception, I mean.”
Sighing roughly, I scratch my neck and stalk away, throwing myself into the armchair. My head is fucking pounding.
“Remind me why I let you in again?”
“You didn’t have a choice, dearest brother,” she says in that same hard voice. “And because no matter what, I’m your sister and you love me. And I couldn’t stand cutting you loose to drink yourself to death.”
“I’m not—what the fuck ever.”
She leans forward, her elbows on her knees.
“Look, now that I know you’re not dead, I’m not going to give you crap for scaring us half to death or going AWOL with the company or any of that.”
“How kind,” I bite off.
“I’m here because it’s serious business—and I do mean business. ” She holds my gaze. “Blackthorn Holdings is being sued by Cooper Daley.”
“What the fuck?” I’m back on my feet, rubbing grit from my eyes. “Tell me you’re kidding. That goddamned rat, I knew I should’ve—”
“Nope.” She reaches into her tote bag and pulls out a manila folder. But before I can take it, she jerks it out of reach. “Nuh-uh. Before you take this, you have to agree that you’re not going ostrich-man again. No more burying your head in the sand.”
“Let me read it,” I growl. “Fucking Daley isn’t going to get away with anything.”
Satisfied, she passes the folder over, just as Ares wanders into the room with a yawn, drawn by her voice.
When he sees her, his thick tail wags furiously, and she falls to her knees beside him.
“Hi, big guy!” she coos. “It was so mean of Ethan to keep you away from everyone who loves you, wasn’t it?”
I tune out her baby talk as I flip through the papers.
Christ.
Most of it’s legal jargon, but there’s a summary page near the back that sums up the situation.
When my lawyers drew up the deal, I didn’t think much about the fine print.
Specifically, the stuff that says Daley’s firm would only partner with me directly as CEO and sole representative of the company.
In other words, a Blackthorn by blood.
Which means all those emails I ignored—
Shit.
Now I’ve de facto ‘resigned’ and put us in breach of contract. Technically, I never sent any official notice.
For the lawyers, technicalities aren’t good enough.
Cooper wants to buy out the rest of the resort for pennies on the dollar.
An unlikely, backstabby penalty clause in a contract I farted off because at the time it seemed ridiculous.
I wanted easy money and a chance at a redemption.
A win, a change, and a future with—
No.
Don’t even think her name, you fucking corkscrew.
My own lawyers who reviewed it at the time brushed it off and barely commented, though.
After all, what was the likelihood I wouldn’t be around?
Especially when they knew I was about to be a happily married, fully vested man.
“That scheming ball of ratshit,” I grind out.
Margot looks up from the floor where she’s still petting Ares.
“I’m shocked you ever trusted him.” She shrugs. “Looks like your instincts were right.”
“And I didn’t listen. It looked like a good deal at the time. No one saw this coming, and now with everything going to shit, he’s coming in for the kill. Where’s my phone?”
Margot lunges for it first, holding it against her chest.
“Hey, hey… take a second and breathe,” she says sternly. “Don’t just leap into this headfirst like a moron. Sit down.”
“Don’t tell me what to do.”
“Then don’t act like an idiot and sit down.” Her eyes spark as she glares at me. I might have a temper, but Margot’s can match mine on my worst day.
We waste a few more seconds on a staring contest.
Yeah, there’s no way in hell I want to sit down and have a talk about my shitty decisions with my little sister.
Right now, the only thing I have any intention of doing is finding a way to put it right.
But Margot’s stubbornness matches mine, and she pins her mouth together in a way that means trouble.
“Sit down,” she repeats. “And get a freaking grip.”
I pace away from her, every breath burning my lungs.
This is the first time I’ve felt anything besides disgust in a good, long while. I let myself embrace the anger.
“I’ll make him pay,” I say as I pace back toward her. “That slimy fuck. He can’t get away with swindling us.”
“Ethan, come on.” She puts her hands on her hips. “Sit the fuck down.”
“Why? What else is there to discuss?” I wave the sheaf of papers at her. “You came to me because he’s pulling this shit. So I’m going to fix it. Isn’t that what you wanted?”
“Not quite. We need to talk about Hattie.”
Her words crackle around us, cutting through the night with that special kind of light only Hattie brings.
She’s not even here in person.
“Now will you sit?” she says, narrowing her eyes. “Let’s talk about why you’re here.”
Oh fuck.
I already know how much I fucked up.
I know I strangled her heart.
I don’t need to hear it from Margot.
“What’s your point?” I snarl. “You’re fiending to lecture me that bad?”
“Have you never heard of talking ?” She shakes her head.
“I’m not stupid, Margot. I never meant to blow her off like that, but she caught me at a bad time. I even left her the money! What else can I say? It’s done. Harsh or not, I did the humane thing, sending her off with the means to reboot her life.”
My sister snorts so loud I think the roof shakes.
“Humane? Are you joking?”
“She got a goddamned bookstore out of it and six figures. Full compensation. I ended the deal, so I paid her fairly.”
“And that makes up for breaking her heart?” She punches me in the arm, hard. “Why are you so stupid ?”
Excellent question.
“Do not hit me again. You’re right, I could’ve handled it, but—”
“She never even wanted the stupid store. You know that?” Margot sighs. “And she really didn’t want to be paid off like some whore after a bad night.”
“We shouldn’t be talking about this,” I snarl through clenched teeth, pacing to the other side of the room.
The crushing feeling in my chest whenever I think back to that awful night and the storm and spilled whiskey presses down like a tombstone.
I know I frightened her.
I know I hurt her.
I know I trashed the best thing I ever had and set it on fire.
There was no disguising the horror in her eyes when I told her to leave.
So, yeah, maybe I broke her heart, a harsh truth that just makes the crushing guilt bear down harder.
Still, she couldn’t fucking fix me.
It wasn’t her place.
Hattie didn’t need to be saddled with an impossible task—and for what in return?
All my broken pieces magically pulling themselves back together?
My humanity healing enough to swallow my pride, my hurt, my bullshit, and admit what turns my heart into bloody hamburger?
Admit that my crazy ass loves her?
“It’s for the best. You won’t understand, but you have to accept it.” I hear the words as they land, knowing they’re just as lame as I think.
“Best for who ?” Margot demands. “Because it sure as hell isn’t Hattie and I’m not sure it’s you. Do you really think giving her the store made her happy , Ethan? Be honest. This is Hattie we’re talking about.”
I snort again.