6. Corvan
Chapter six
Corvan
S omeone has been following us.
Or me, more specifically.
I’d thought maybe I was being paranoid, and that someone was just taking the same route around the ship as Eliza and I, but I’ve had my eye on them for the past three hours, and they’ve remained at a careful, close but not quite close enough to make out any distinct features, distance. If I were in my raven form, they’d probably be close enough for me to make them out. But as it is, with my senses muted, though still sharper than non-shifters, I can only make out that long blonde hair and female form, but no distinct features.
And I know it’s me they’re following because they remain behind when Eliza ducks out to go to the bathroom. But when I go, a figure dressed in white slinks along behind me.
So I haven’t gone quite as unnoticed as I’d hoped, then .
But fine. So long as they leave Eliza alone and don’t drag her into this mess, I don’t give a shit what happens to me.
It’s in that moment that it hits me how truly and how deeply I like her. How connected I feel to her, on a level I’ve never felt before. With anyone . And maybe it’s fucking crazy, but that doesn’t make it any less true. I know, even as I try to ignore the thought, that Eliza will forever be the one that got away . For the longest time, everything was about me. My ego couldn’t handle the idea of a single negative thing being said about me, no matter how trivial.
And then when that article came out, and my face was everywhere with the truth laid bare in front of a suspicious, fearful society that has never been accepting of my kind. A society where we are mostly thought of as myths, beyond the odd few who recall our existence through familial lines or other shifter families.
My now ex-girlfriend Jade had turned me in, my deepest secret, for some petty cash. How fucking ridiculous. I would have paid her more if it meant she’d shut the fuck up about my heritage and speak a word of it to no one.
But she sold me out.
I should have known better than to trust her—to trust anyone. My team wiped the original article from the internet as quickly as they could, but with such outrageous claims being made against one of the leading businessmen in the United States, it was bound to get out of hand quickly.
Once it was shockingly out in the open, there was no reeling it back in. No way to stop the onslaught of articles being written, of news clips being recorded, of emails being sent begging me to speak on the subject. Even more ridiculous theories being published - a bunch of shit, but all seemed somehow plausible after the initial allegations.
When I realized it wasn’t about to blow over, and that my business’ stock was dipping far too low for comfort, I believed there was only one way to fix everything.
Of course, I could have spoken out, claimed it was all horseshit and lies spread by a jealous gold digger, but I couldn’t turn away from my heritage like that. Couldn’t dismiss it and verbally declare it outrageous and idiotic when it was who I am. Who my family is.
So yes, there was only one viable option.
And that was to disappear.
There couldn’t be a story if I ceased to exist. People wouldn’t boycott my company if it appeared that I was no longer a part of it. And I couldn’t be lied to and betrayed if I was isolated in the woods, spending more time with black wings than I did with two legs.
I feel Eliza’s curious eyes on me before she speaks. “Are you feeling okay?”
Thankfully, she hasn’t brought up what happened at dinner last night. I especially like that about her—she has boundaries.
But.
But I’m not sure this secret is better left buried when it comes to her. Not anymore. “I’m okay,” I assure her, bringing myself out of thoughts of the past and instead focusing on the present. I’d like it if that meant I was focusing on her. Fuck, I want nothing more than to be able to focus on her.
But that stalker …
I can’t seek them out. I won’t risk it, in case it’s a reporter who somehow learned of the cruise and is now waiting for me to slip up at any moment. I’ve already proved I didn’t wait quite long enough to become a nobody, so it isn’t that far of a reach to assume that it’s someone from a magazine looking for the biggest payout of their career.
Or maybe it’s just someone hoping they’ll be able to earn a little hush money. Maybe it’s just a coincidence that they’re here, and they’re taking the opportunity they were given.
Either way, I know I can’t ignore their existence forever. I know that either I will have to go to them, or they’ll come to me.
And I know that I should tell her. I should tell her before they do. I should tell her my full name, who I am, and what I can do. It’s better if she hears it from me. Hopefully, it'll make her less likely to freak the fuck out.
And hopefully, when I tell her tonight, it doesn’t ruin this thing, these feelings that are growing between us.
The sun is setting when Eliza and I finally decide to make our way back to our rooms. I’m unnecessarily paranoid that mine is bugged now, so I clear my throat and ask, “Have I earned the right to see you to your room yet?”
Her eyes are alight with amusement as she shrugs and lifts her arms in a lazy shrug. She says, “I suppose I could let you walk me to my door. Just this once, though.”
My heart is hammering in my chest. I haven’t been this nervous in a long fucking while. Haven’t cared enough to feel anything but dullness. “Actually,” I say slowly, “I was hoping you’d let me in. To talk.”
She raises her brows at me, curiosity glinting in her dark green eyes. “To talk?”
“ Just to talk,” I say firmly. “I swear.”
She stares for a long moment. “Are you sure you’re okay?”
“Yes. Please, Eliza.”
She debates for a long moment, reading my pleading expression and, if the look in her eyes is any sign, reading every emotion I try to keep hidden.
She’s gotten good at that today. I’ve been having a hard time keeping any of my true feelings to myself—even the most mundane of them.
She says again slowly, as if still not completely believing me, “You only want to talk?”
No . Of course not. Of course I want to do so much more with her. There’s a connection between us that feels ancient and new, a connection that gets stronger with every heartbeat I spend in her presence.
And something tells me she feels it, too. It’s in the way she looks at me when I’m not supposed to notice—but of course I notice. I notice everything about her in every moment we’re together. Whether that’s because of my raven blood or my human blood, I don’t know. I don’t particularly care, either. All that really matters is how I feel about her, how she feels about me—and how she would feel about my… heritage.
Which doesn’t give me hope. Not after how the world reacted when the article about my shifter blood came out. There were the people who thought it was bullshit, of course—those that didn’t believe or know about shifters. But then there were the others. The ones who did believe, or did know, and suddenly felt that I was untrustworthy because of who I am and what I can do.
I don’t know if I’ll be able to handle it if that’s how Eliza reacts.
I need to tell her. I need to tell her who I am and what I am and how I feel about her. Or maybe just the first two. Because if telling her I can take the form of a raven doesn’t run her off, then telling her that I have ever-deepening feelings for her, the kind that I can’t explain, sure fucking will.
“Yes,” I say. “Just talk.”
A look I can’t quite decipher flashes across her face before she shrugs. “Okay, then. Come on.” Eliza uses her keycard to unlock the door, then opens it swiftly. “It’s a little messy,” she mutters as she steps inside. I follow in after her, closing it behind me before turning to see her pick clothes up off the floor. She launches them into the closet and yanks the doors closed before turning to me with warmed cheeks.
Our rooms contain the same furniture, but it’s arranged differently. Her unmade bed, which I can’t look at too long without imagining hot and dirty things, is backed against a pale blue wall that mimics the color of the ocean that is visible outside the large glass sliding doors and the balcony on the other side of them.
The same whitewashed headboard, dresser, and armoire sit flush against the walls. The lightly stained oak floors are accented by a creamy white and navy blue rug that mimics old Persian designs in a simpler way.
All of those things are secondary to her. They’re what I make myself look at to avoid staring at her, to avoid focusing on the tension that snapped into place between us just as quickly as the door locked behind me.
Eliza says quietly, “Corey? Look, I know I already asked, but are you sure you’re okay? You seem—”
— “My name isn’t Corey.” The words are out before I can stop them, before I can think them through.
A long, long pause fills the room. “I’m sorry, what?”
“I mean, it’s not not Corey,” I say. “But that’s just a nickname. Not my real one.” I finally turn my gaze to hers, desperate to see how she feels.
But her gaze is unreadable, beyond the obvious confusion. “Okay,” she says slowly. “Is that why you’ve been acting so weird? Because you told me a lie that’s not even really a lie?”
I shake my head. “No. I’ve been acting weird because of why I didn’t tell you my real name. Because I was worried that if I told you my real name, you’d figure out who I was.”
“Not likely,” she says, trying to laugh but failing as she sits primly on the edge of her messy bed. “I’ve spent the last five years either aggressively studying to get my doctorate or researching my ass off at the lab. I haven’t had much time for anything pop culture.” Eliza looks down at her hands, and then back up at me. “So those people we had dinner with—Ryker and Sylvie—they did recognize you?”
I let out a shaky breath and nod. “Yes. Or possibly, anyway.”
“And who are you?”
“Corvan Thorn.” I answer easily, because my true name isn’t the thing I’ve been trying to keep from her. It’s everything that my name is now associated with .
But Eliza just frowns and shakes her head. “Yeah—no. Doesn’t ring a bell. Like I said, doctorates take up a lot of time.”
I try to smile, but I can’t hold it long. “Look—I’m going to tell you something that I’ve never told anyone. That, when this all came out a few years ago, I denied with my every breath and disappeared off the face of the earth for three years in hopes that people would forget about me.” I pause. “This is my first time in years being around people again. I just wanted to see if it was possible that everyone had forgotten about me, if I could just blend into the background and slowly work my way back into my company. Clearly I jumped the gun a little.”
“I didn’t recognize you,” Eliza points out.
“You also said you didn’t pay attention to groundbreaking news back then. And Ryker and Sylvie did , and they recognized me.”
“But not enough to actually know who you are.”
“And the person following me? What about them?”
Her eyes widen. “I’m sorry—someone’s following you?”
I nod. “So it would seem.”
“And you think it’s because of your secret?”
“I don’t know. Probably.” There was little else they could be after. Little else someone could want from me after my first appearance back in polite society. “And I wanted to tell you before someone else did. I wanted to explain in hopes that it meant you wouldn’t fear me, and that you wouldn’t feel betrayed.” I swallow. “In hopes that you’ll still like me after you know.”
“Why wouldn’ t I like you?”
I force myself to meet her eyes as I say the words. To stop stalling, and to just spit it the fuck out.
But I can’t.
I can’t because I’m unwilling to risk losing her. Not when what I feel for her is real , dammit, and she’s already planning on leaving what we have between us on the boat when the cruise is over.
So I lie a little, instead. I stick as close as possible to the truth, but… avoid everything that might hint toward me being a shifter.
Hesitantly, I sit down beside Eliza on the bed.
“When I was younger, back when I first started Thorn Enterprises, there was Jade.”
Eliza raises an eyebrow at me when I don’t explain further. “Your secret is that you have a girlfriend?”
“ Had ,” I quickly clarify. “Not anymore.” Like it’ll matter if Eliza is clear on me being single, anyway. She’s too good for me. Has been since the moment she tripped her way on board. She’ll see that, too, as soon as she knows about my blood. My heritage.
“But she was there, through everything, you know? And she knew… everything there was to know about me. I thought that what we had, the love, the bond, our past and our present and our future, would mean more to her than money ever could. I thought I could trust her with my whole life.
But Jade sold my secrets. I could have given her everything, if she’d just stayed with me. I would have given her anything she asked for. And maybe she was afraid, or maybe she just finally saw a way out of a relationship she no longer cared to have. I never really cared to figure out why she sold my secrets. But she did sell them, and it’s… ”
“You’re not the same person anymore,” Eliza fills in for me. “It changed you.”
I give her a grateful smile. She understands me. Maybe better than I even understand myself. And maybe… maybe that means she feels what I feel, too.
Eliza says, “Those secrets don’t matter to me, you know. I see who you are, at your core. Whatever it is that you’re not telling me… it won’t change this. Us.”
She says us like we’re more than just our circumstances. Like there’s a possibility that something might come of this.
But I don’t think she’d feel the same if she did know those secrets. Secret , really. It’s easier to say that something won’t matter when you have no idea what that something is. When you might not have even known that something could even possibly exist.
Gently, Eliza lays a hand over mine. “Listen,” she says. “I do want to know about you. But I want to know the things that you’re willing to tell me when you’re willing to tell me.” She gives me a smile that is so sweet, so caring, so honest and wholesome that it tangles itself around my heart, threads its way through it. Begins suturing every wound Jade ever inflicted on me until they’re closed. “Wait until you’re ready to tell me, Cor. Don’t do it because you feel like you have to. That person who’s following you? I don’t care about them. I don’t want to hear your secrets from their mouth. So if someone tries to talk to me about you, I’ll walk away. Okay?”
I swallow down every emotion that washes over me. She doesn’t want to know—or rather, she does want to know—but not until I want to tell her.
She doesn’t need to know I’m a raven shifter today. Not today, not yet.
But soon . It’s not like I have time to waste. If I want Eliza to know me— all of me, then I’ll have to tell her before the cruise is over.
I’m just praying like hell she’ll be able to handle it.