Chapter 13
ROWAN
I was having a heart attack.
That must be the explanation for my racing pulse, sweaty palms, and the tightness in my chest. Or I was in withdrawal and needed another sexual fix from my dark-haired, dark-eyed assistant.
Why the fuck hadn’t I kissed Andrew when I’d had the chance?
Now it was too late, and just the thought that I’d never get to taste his lips or see Andrew’s orgasm face again made me ragey.
Add to that, I’d nearly drowned in my champagne earlier.
I was a total mess. I rubbed my chest again. Maybe I should call my doctor.
“Tell me, Andrew,” Da said as we sat around the dining table on the bridge deck enjoy an early dinner. “Are you enjoying your work here so far? Are you interested in entering the real estate business?”
Andrew circled the table, refilling water and wine glasses.
“Working alongside Rowan has definitely broadened my education,” he replied as he paused at my glass, his hand slightly trembling.
I guess we were both still reeling from our first lesson together.
“But I prefer to work independently. I’ve started up my own concierge service and will fully launch in March.
I’ll leave the real estate business in your, and your son’s, capable hands. ”
There was only one fucking thing I wanted in my hands, and that was Andrew.
“An entrepreneur, a man after my own heart. Tis good to see young people with ambition,” Jamie grinned and cleared his throat. “Did you hear me, Rafe? I said ambition.”
Rafe rolled his eyes and shook his head as he stuffed in the last crab appetizer.
“Da, we’ve been over this topic twenty thousand times.
I like my job. When I get sick of it – or they don’t want to photograph me anymore – I’ll do something else.
But I do not, repeat, do not wish to enter the family business. No offense.”
I kept quiet and focused on Andrew’s form as he walked around the deck, picking up platters and setting down the next course, silently imploring him to look my way.
“Wasting good brains, you are, smiling in fancy clothes or no clothes at all. When I was growing up in Belfast, I didn’t stand around. I moved to London at eighteen and built a business. I don’t understand this modeling nonsense at all,” my father complained.
“You don’t need to understand it, just accept it,” Rafe bit out. “And don’t worry, I’ve looked into going back to school.”
“Really?” Rebecca piped up softly. “What would you study?”
“Photography. I’d like to be on the other side of the lens for a change.
That way I can still work in the industry I love and travel.
I talked to a few photographers that do work with my agency and there’s a school in Miami they recommended.
I’d move there for a few years, then I can crash on Ro’s yacht here on weekends and when I’m between classes. ”
My father groaned as mum waved her hand around, her rings sparkling in the late daylight. “Let’s talk about something else. Something fun and light,” Mum demanded in her usual effort to ensure familial peace. My brother and sister and I all rolled our eyes.
“I’m working on a new book, and I’m so excited,” Cara pronounced loudly as she grabbed my arm. “It’s about a tough but sensitive CEO who falls for his irresistible assistant. I just love the boss-employee trope, and the sex in this one is the steamiest stuff I’ve written to date.”
My cheeks heated and I was thankful I didn’t have anything in my mouth this time to choke on.
Before I could change the topic, a loud clatter erupted.
I half expected someone to ask me what was wrong until I realize the sound wasn’t my heart exploding.
Turning my head, I found Andrew bent over, picking up large pieces of a broken platter.
“My apologies.” Andrew murmured.
I tracked Andrew’s form until he disappeared inside.
Christ, Cara’s romantic imaginings were the type of outlandish stuff I normally found amusing but, in this instance, could do without.
A sudden fit of panic had me wondering if Cara had noticed how I was looking at Andrew but then I decided I was acting ridiculous.
No one suspected anything. Turning to the other side of the table to speak directly with Rafe, I was confronted by a knowing smirk.
“What?” I bit out.
“Maybe you could give Cara some realistic background for her work in progress,” Rafe whispered as he leaned forward.
“Maybe you could stop acting the fucking eejit and shut up,” I growled, rubbing my chest.
“You dirty dog, Ro.”
“Don’t, Rafe,” I whispered angrily. I quickly scanned the table, but every other family member was still focused on Cara, who continued to go on about her latest manuscript.
“We’ll talk later, in private, and you can spill your guts about him.”
“There’s nothing to spill. You’re as hopeless as Cara,” I bit out.
I was so frustrated that I was likely to yell at any moment.
I’d never wanted a family meal to be over with so quickly in my life.
I needed to talk to Andrew alone, to explain my reaction in the sauna.
One of us had to be rational and calm in the face of our passion.
“I’m perceptive as hell, Ro. Besides my life is boring, so I need something interesting to talk about.”
I carefully sipped my wine. “How is that possible? Don’t you spend all your time at parties and launches with celebrities?”
“That’s why it’s boring. I like my work but the social scene is getting tedious. Most of the models and actors I meet rarely discuss anything other than themselves. No offense to Dylan.”
I laughed at my brother’s blunt manner. “None taken on his behalf.”
The rest of dinner went smoothly and ended with dessert served in the lounge due to the nighttime wind gusts. Andrew was pretty much a one man show, working nonstop for hours, with the occasional help from Charlie.
“Andrew, a word please,” I asked as I gestured for Andrew to follow me into the hallway, away from everyone else.
“Yes, Mr. Carter, how can I help you?” Andrew’s calm tone was matched by his brown eyes, flat and unyielding.
So unlike him. With crossed arms, my boy was poised to fight .
My boy? It felt right. Then I shivered at the possibility that I’d lost Andrew before I’d barely had one taste.
I reminded myself that I was ruthless in my determination to get what I wanted, and restoring our tenuous friendship would be a start.
“Thank you for all your hard work today. We won’t be requiring you for the remainder of the night, so go rest up.”
“I’m still on call overnight if your family has requests.”
“No need. I’ve told them to take care of themselves until breakfast.”
“But…”
“There’s no further discussion, Andrew. It’s eleven o’clock, and you’ve been working without breaks since early this morning. I highly doubt they’ll need a meal brought up or laundry done at two in the morning.”
“It’s fine. I’m used to long shifts. It’s the nature of my job,” Andrew replied.
The bloody job was the reason we had been brought together in the first place. I took a step closer, and Andrew moved in synch, taking one step back. “Andrew, we need to talk about yesterday, could we…”
“Sorry to interrupt,” Rafe interjected suddenly, appearing at the end of the hallway. “Mum and Da have gone to bed, but Rebecca would like to play cards, and we need a fourth.”
“Mr. Carter was just about to re-join you,” Andrew answered for me.
“I’ll be with you in a few minutes, Rafe,” I replied, my eyes solely on Andrew’s until he pivoted and walked away. I followed him down the stairs to the staff quarters.
“Drew, wait!” I whispered urgently.
Andrew turned at the bottom of the stairs and ran a hand through his black hair, rubbing the back of his neck and gripping it tightly. I stifled the intense urge to wrap my arms around him and ease all his tension.
“It shouldn’t have happened, Rowan. It was a mistake.”
ANDREW
I half expected a reality TV crew to pop up around the corner to record the drama that was now my life.
I raced down the stairs, but Rowan followed, and I needed to do something to get him to back off, to give me space to think.
Rolling my shoulders, I forced myself to stay calm when all I really wanted to do was scream.
At my stupid behavior yesterday, at Rowan’s lack of response, at the fact that my growing feelings for my boss had nowhere to fucking go.
But more than anything, I wanted to grab Rowan’s face and kiss him.
One taste to see if this was real. If only circumstances were different and I was just Drew and he was just Ro, I would do just that. But here we were.
Hands on my hips, I let out a huge sigh.
“I - we - blurred the professional line when we headed to St. Thomas together, but what happened yesterday totally annihilated it. And even though I was angry at first by your reaction, I have only myself to blame for what happened since I asked you to stay. I knew what I did was wrong, but in the moment, I couldn’t stop myself.
I have no excuse for my behavior. So, if you want me to leave, I’ll go.
It might be best. Or we can forget it ever happened. ”
“No.”
“No?”
“I don’t want you to leave Andrew. And both of us are to blame. I could’ve turned around and walked out that door, but I couldn’t stop myself either. We’ll let it go for now and get through this week.”
For now? I was about to question him further until Rafe yelled Rowan’s name again.
“I need to go. Sleep well, Andrew.”
I nodded and watched Rowan’s retreating form.
Then I made my way back to my bunk and sighed when I closed the door.
Replaying the conversation in my mind, my anxiety skyrocketed.
Now that my shift was done and I had no work to distract myself, my worried thoughts reared their ugly head.
Why was I so affected by this man? Why did I feel like I wanted to run toward him and at the same time run away? Why was I acting this way at all?
After my breakup with Anton, I had taken meds for a short time to get my anxiety under control.
I was better now, for the most part. But this thing with Rowan, the stir of feelings I never expected to feel again, was making everything in my mind spin.
I sat on the floor and started my deep breathing exercises.
Then I moved on to counting down in my head, the action effective at getting my brain to focus.
Good thing Rowan couldn’t see me now. I didn’t want Rowan to see me like this ever. Then again, maybe it was time for a wake-up call. Our tenuous relationship was already off course. The slightest wave would sink whatever remained.