Chapter 22
ANDREW
O ur last full day was pretty much spent in our room, including breakfast, then lunch. We made it outside in the afternoon for a quick dip in the ocean and then we headed back inside to fuck frantically on every available surface.
We chatted with Jasper and Xavier before we left. Xavier sent me his mother’s contact details, and we promised to stay in touch. Jasper hugged Rowan tightly and whispered something in his ear. Whatever it was, Rowan nodded at his friend and gave him one last hug, like he was reassuring him.
We stood on the dock at the marina, waiting for Charlie with the tender.
The sky was clear and perfect, but the winds had picked up, and boats began to rock with the motion of the swells.
It felt strange after holding Rowan’s hand for three days to stand beside him like a stranger.
But I didn’t know what to do. I’d set up the rules for this weekend, and now I wanted to forget they existed.
We were fooling ourselves, and I was the biggest fool of all.
I was in love with Rowan, but there was no future in it. I worried that once he was back on board, he’d see this as a wonderful weekend but nothing more. Would there be a way for us to continue a real relationship or was that wishful thinking on my part?
The tender approached, and I waved at Charlie. Beside me, Rowan stood rigid, but I felt his gaze on my face. I turned my head to glance at him, and he seared me with a look so blistering, I felt the heated backdraft all the way through to my bones.
“This isn’t over, my love,” he murmured.
I was shocked and elated at his statement, too overwhelmed to reply.
I let him step into the boat first, but unlike last time, I offered no assistance.
I didn’t risk touching him for fear that I’d never let go.
So, I waited patiently until Rowan was seated and then I stepped in and sat down beside him.
“Great weather this weekend, eh? Did you guys have a good time on the island?” Charlie asked as we sped out to sea.
“I had the best three days of my life,” Rowan replied passionately. I shivered at his words but sat in silence, letting the wind and the warm spray of the ocean wash over me, the tendrils of anxiety sliding away along with it.
“Wow, that must’ve been some resort, Rowan. Maybe I’ll head there when the charter season ends.”
“You won’t regret it.” Rowan replied as he looked at me.
Charlie continued to make small talk, and a short while later, the yacht came into view.
We pulled up near the stern and stepped out of the tender and onto the lower deck.
I waved at staff members back from vacation, working on the decks and wishing us good morning.
I didn’t look at Rowan. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hide my feelings for him - they were bobbing on the surface, resistant to the waves of reality that would soon crash over us.
Instead, I grabbed my suitcase and rushed inside, then down to my bunk, closing the door behind me.
Going through the usual motions, I threw my clothes in the laundry and cleaned my room.
My body was agitated and my mind even more so.
I thought when I returned from this trip, I would feel relief.
It would be over. Done. We could move on.
Instead, my heart now belonged to Rowan, and I had to pretend like my entire world hadn’t shifted.
My phone pinged, startling me out of my thoughts.
Rowan: meet me in my office in five minutes. Be prepared to take extensive notes. I have a contract that needs drafting.
Andrew: I’ll be there
Back to work mode. Good. Fine. My stomach tightened painfully.
Had I mistaken what Rowan had said to me earlier?
Trying to get my mind focused on things other than my sex life, I texted Hunter, then my father, and posted a few of the pictures I took on the weekend.
None of Rowan, of course. I had only one photo of the two of us, a selfie that I hadn’t been able to resist. We were sitting on the beach with our arms around each other, and the smile on his face was truly spectacular.
I hovered over the delete button, but I just couldn’t do it.
Checking my social media, I saw comments from friends back home and noticed that I had a new follower: CRC. No picture. Interesting. Based in London, a Gemini, loves dirty martinis… That sneaky little shit. A warmth spread through me, and the butterflies in my stomach took flight again.
My phone buzzed. Fuck, I was supposed to be upstairs.
Rowan: I’m waiting
Andrew: I’m coming
I grabbed my laptop and made my way upstairs. As I passed through the lounge, I nodded at Kayla who shoved her phone in her pocket and picked up the vacuum, the sound drowning out any potential for chitchat. I knocked on Rowan’s door and entered.
He was sitting behind his desk as usual, dressed in a short-sleeved blue shirt. He looked sharp, and the blue brought out his eyes. Don’t look in his eyes. Too late.
“Come here,” he said in a firm voice, and all the hair on my body stood on end.
“Rowan, what are you doing?”
“I said, come here, Andrew.”
I walked around his desk and waited in front of him, and he slowly got to his feet. He moved closer but didn’t touch me, and my heart pounded heavily in my chest.
“Tell me you don’t want this,” he whispered. I could smell the mint on his breath and the vanilla that underscored his cologne. So damn good. He was right within reach, but neither of us made any further movement.
“I can’t tell you that. I want you. I want us. But there are staff members surrounding us. And too much at stake.”
His body shuddered as he closed his eyes and took a deep breath. When he opened them, I could see everything I was feeling inside mirrored back at me - happiness, fear, desire, and a wistfulness, a longing for more.
“We’ll figure it out. I promise. Now kiss me,” he demanded, but I shook my head. “It’s been six hours since you kissed me, and I’m going out of my mind.”
“No,” I said even though my body was at war with my mind.
I wanted his kiss just as badly, but seeing Kayla on my way up here reminded me that we were far from alone.
I walked back around the desk and sat opposite him.
“Kayla is down the hall working. If you kiss me now, we’re not going to stop.
I’m going to strip down and bend over this desk, and everyone on this ship is going to hear a re-enactment of what really happened this weekend. ”
“Drew,” Rowan growled as he adjusted himself.
“Let’s discuss this new contract and stick to business for the time being. Then around eight o’clock tonight, when you take your evening tea, I can bring it to you, and we can work together. Late into the night.” I smiled at him, and he finally relented.
“I’m holding you to that,” Rowan murmured and looked at me expectantly.
“The contract?” I asked.
Rowan cleared his throat. “Hmm. Yes, right. Remember Leo?”
“How could I forget the man trying to get back into your pants.”
“He tries to get in everyone’s pants, especially if they’re designer.
” Rowan rolled his eyes. “In any case, he’s decided to sell one of his hotel properties in Miami, and I’ve reviewed the specs.
I need you to draft up the offer and send it to me for review by day’s end.
I’ve invited him aboard at the end of the month to close the deal. ”
I sure as hell didn’t like the fact that one of Ro’s former lovers would be staying on board. “Do you think that’s wise?”
“As I said before, Leo is a business colleague, nothing more. If it weren’t for that, I wouldn’t bother inviting him at all.”
“All right. Anything else, sir ?” I smirked.
“Stop teasing me and get to work. And I’ll see you at 8 PM, sharp. If you don’t appear, I’ll come looking for you.”
“So demanding.”
He winked at me. “I’ve got a reputation to live up to.”
ROWAN
My phone buzzed just as Andrew left the office, and I reluctantly glanced at it. God help me.
Rafe: how was your weekend?
Dylan: is it all out of your system?
Rowan: best weekend of my life
I could’ve lied, but it was pointless. I repeated what I’d told Charlie. It was the bloody truth, and I had no desire to hide it from my brother and my best friend. I wanted to shout it out loud to everyone.
Dylan: uh oh
Rafe: I knew it!
Rowan: I’m in trouble
Rafe: it’s too soon to tell if you’re pregnant
Rowan: I’m trying to be serious
Dylan: it’s only a few months
Rowan: I don’t want to pretend nothing happened. And I don’t think I can hide how I feel about him. I almost kissed him just now in my office, but he had enough sense to say no.
Dylan: if you keep that up, one of your crew members is going to find out. And what then? What if they go to the press? You need to think about the consequences, Ro.
Rafe: OMG you’re Julia Roberts!
Dylan: What?
Rowan: This is NOT Notting Hill.
Rafe: of course not. This is the gay version, so you have much more money than Julia.
Dylan: be serious for a moment. If your affair gets leaked to the press, they’ll paint you as taking advantage of your employee. Jojo has had you dodging cameras for two years now, and this will just add fuel to the fire.
I hadn’t been thinking at all. The press could spin all kinds of stories, and what would happen then? To Andrew? To me? My family and friends by association? The company…shit, Lionel. Dylan was right. I needed to get my feelings for Andrew under control.
Rowan: you’re right, D. I’ve got to let go of him. At least for now.
Dylan: smart decision.
Rafe: speaking of letting go, have you fired the captain yet?
Rowan: of course not.
Dylan: I have to go. Call if you want to talk.
Rowan: same goes
Rafe: don’t worry, Ro, it’ll all work out.
I went in search of Andrew and found him on the sundeck, typing away on his laptop. There was no one else up here, save the captain in the wheelhouse, so I sat down on the opposite lounger.
“I won’t be needing you to bring me my tea at eight this evening.”
Andrew took off his sunglasses and rested them on his head.
“What brought about this change?” He looked around the deck. “Five minutes ago, you wanted me to kiss you,” he whispered angrily.
“Dylan reminded me that if we get caught, a lot could be ruined. You would be thrown into the public realm, your life, your family and friends dissected by the tabloid press. And I’d be painted as the wealthy arsehole who takes advantage of his employees.
I don’t want to place you in the eye of such a hurricane.
The international tabloids are vicious and will stop at nothing. I can’t put you at risk like that.”
“You didn’t seem concerned this weekend, out in public. At restaurants, and bars. Holding hands.”
“It’s a tiny island, and I was wearing a hat and sunglasses when we were out, so I doubt anyone recognized me.
Well, I noticed a few people paying attention, but I didn’t see any cameras.
I have a pretty good radar for that sort of thing.
And most of our time was spent at the hotel.
But on board, with crew everywhere—” I paused.
“I won’t take the chance that one of them or my guests might see something.
And there’s another reason, one that I have haven’t shared. ”
“What?” Andrew asked.
“If I don’t finalize that deal with Owen in the coming weeks, I’ll be terminated as CEO and lose my shares.
The company means... It’s my father’s legacy and now mine to pass on.
I’ve put so much of my blood and sweat into it that I just can’t let my uncle and the board take it away from me.
So given all this, I’m placing you back on chief stew duties.
Kayla will fill my PA position. You’ll retain your adjusted salary. ”
Andrew nodded. “Anything else, Rowan?” he replied calmly.
“No. Wait, yes. At the end of March, when your contract is over and before you go home, we could spend a week or two together. When you’re officially off the clock.”
“As soon as I’m done working here, I’m heading back to the US. This weekend was amazing, but I guess we were fooling ourselves. It was fun while it lasted,” he said coolly.
“It’s more than that. I wish that things were different, but I don’t know what else to do for the time being. I don’t want to expose you to the media jackals.”
“We both understood this was a temporary thing. I was the one who made the offer for a weekend only for a very good reason. I mean, you’re you and I’m me. The differences are obvious.”
“What do you mean by that?” I bit out, my blood pressure rising with my temper.
“You’re a billionaire, Ro. You can have anyone you want. It was stupid of me to think you could have feelings or that mine would be returned.”
“Don’t speak for me. After the time we spent together and everything we said and did, you should know exactly how I feel about you. Just because I have more money than you, it doesn’t mean you aren’t my equal. And this is just a temporary situation. We’ll figure things out.”
Andrew scoffed and looked away.
“Andrew, please. Listen to me, love.”
I was met with a resigned sigh. “If there’s nothing else, Mr. Carter, I have work to do.” Andrew dismissed me, and I reluctantly walked away.
I’d done the right thing for both of us. Too bad it felt like the worse kind of regret.