Chapter 21
RAFE
W hat happens when your whole world shifts?
Do you fight it or embrace the fear that comes along with it? Because you know that on the other side of that fear, something amazing is there.
A love you never expected…
“Another glass?” George asked me, and I jolted out of my musings.
We were seated on the deck just outside the wheelhouse. Jana had set up our dinner there, with two chairs and a table. No candles or music. I don’t think George and I would’ve noticed anyway. All we did was smile and stare at each other.
“Please and thanks,” I replied as he filled up my wine glass.
Then George leaned back and slid his arm around my shoulders, pulling me in close. I turned my head and kissed him soundly, relishing in how right everything felt between us. How I wanted to crawl into his arms and never leave.
“So after this trip, you’re going back to Miami?” George asked quietly.
And just like that, reality intruded. I wasn’t sure I was ready for this conversation yet, but I’d never shied away from the truth.
“Yes, I’m going to sell the condo.”
“And live where?”
“I haven’t thought that far ahead yet.”
“I think you should consider staying on here. Until you figure out your new home base.”
I took another sip of wine to hide my smile.
“I joked about it before, but you might be right,” I replied. “Unless Rowan has an issue, but I can’t see that.”
“You’d have your own space too, unless…”
“Unless?” I asked.
“Unless you’d like to share a room with a certain grumpy captain.”
“Well, that would depend. Would he spoon me every night? I need a lot of cuddles.”
“Every night. All night.”
“Would he make love to me?”
“Every night. All night,” George repeated, his green eyes sparkling.
“I can’t say no to that,” I smiled and kissed him again.
“In that case, why wait? Bring your stuff up here now.”
“Are you sure?” I asked.
I was ready to leap, but I didn’t want him to feel obligated to catch me.
“Let’s make the most of our time together,” he whispered, but his eyes shuttered.
He wanted to say something else, but he was holding back.
“What is it?” I asked.
“What is what?” he asked, looking out to the shoreline.
“I can read you now, George, so don’t try to hide. What did you really want to say?”
He took a deep breath and turned to me. “I want to be exclusive. I can’t share you. I said something to that effect when we were having sex, about no one else touching you, but I want to make it clear that I didn’t say it in the heat of the moment. I meant it.”
I slipped off my chair and climbed onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“And I agreed. I want the same thing. Just the thought of you being with anyone else makes me incredibly ragey. I will scratch out the eyes of any man who tries to come on to you or flirt with you. You have been warned.”
George’s deep laughter made everything inside me warm. Fuck, just seeing his face so happy and relaxed did funny things to my insides.
I may be new to falling in love, but I had no doubts about the man I was falling for.
“Good to know. Be prepared yourself. I’m going to be a possessive boyfriend and insist you spend every free moment with me,” he whispered and pulled me down, taking my lips in a kiss that was languid and insistent. Pure bliss.
“Boyfriend.” I smiled against his lips. “I like that. A lot.”
I rocked my hips against his and he smacked my arse playfully.
“Go downstairs now and get your stuff.”
“Bossy.”
“Well, I am the captain.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t have Jana move me up here while we were eating dinner,” I quipped.
“Excellent idea!” George stood up and dumped me back in my chair, then headed over to the intercom and pressed the call button. “Attention all crew, attention all crew. I need Rafe’s belongings brought up to my cabin immediately. There’s a bonus for whoever can get it up here first.”
“Have you lost your mind?” I laughed out loud.
George walked back over and kissed me. “Quite possibly. But this way, everyone knows what’s going on. No speculation or gossip.”
“No kidding. You could also tattoo your name on my arse. That way when I sunbathe, everyone will get the message.”
“We’ll definitely keep that in mind for the future,” George replied with a knowing grin.
“Speaking of tattoos, I noticed the one on your right arm. A compass and anchor, tied together with rope. When did you get that?”
He sighed. “After my first year in the navy, as a drunk nineteen-year-old on shore leave in Macau.”
“There’s got to be more to the story than that.”
George shrugged and sat down beside me. “It was a long time ago.”
“Go on, then,” I encouraged him.
“It was 1993. Our fleet was docked in Macau while we refuelled. We hadn’t seen shore leave for over two months, so sailors tended to get wild.
Most of the blokes I worked with went out in search of sex.
I was deeply in the closet. And struggling to understand my sexuality.
Anyway, the military at the time—and the world in general—was not a safe place for anyone queer.
I was lonely too. Far away from home for the first time and I hadn’t really connected with my shipboard mates, so I felt out of place.
Given that, I did what most people do when they’re lonely and awkward.
I got roaring drunk and suggested we get tattoos to commemorate our service. ”
“How many people got tattoos that night?”
“Just three of us. Me, Oscar Leeds, and Simon Harper who, after that night, became two of my best mates. We got to talking after the whiskey had run through our system. I asked them why they stayed behind at the bar instead of heading out for a hookup like the others. Oscar didn’t say much except he was tired.
Simon said he had a girlfriend back home.
I gave some excuse; I can’t remember what.
But all three of us knew what we weren’t saying as we sat there in the wee hours of the morning.
And since there was nothing else to do at that hour, I suggested the tattoo.
After that night, we were bonded for life.
We came out to each other eventually, but kept our secrets until we left the service. ”
“I can’t imagine what that’s like, having to hide who you are all the time. I never had to do that. I guess a lot changed in fourteen years.”
For the first time, the age gap between us was a real thing. My heart ached thinking about nineteen-year-old George and his mates. The pressure to deny their identity.
George took my hand. “Some industries are still rampant with homophobic attitudes. That’s why I made it a point, when I went into the private sector, to be upfront about who I was with my boss and my crew.
I want others to see that times have changed and there’s no going back. Workplace inclusivity is here to stay.”
“And your mates? Where are they now?”
“Oscar runs a private charter in Southeast Asia, mainly Thailand and Indonesia. Simon is the captain of a cruise ship that sails around the Mediterranean.”
“You mentioned that you spend holidays together. Do they have partners?”
“Simon’s divorced, and get this, his ex-husband works for the same cruise line, on the same ship.”
I grimaced. “Isn’t that awkward?”
“You’d think, but he says they stay out of each other’s way.” I paused. “Oscar on the other hand, is an eternal bachelor, single and happy to be. Although…”
“Yes?”
“Well, I texted him the other night. About you.”
“About me?”
George nodded. “I wanted advice. And he told me to go for it. Better to follow my heart than have regrets. It sounded like he was talking from personal experience, but I don’t recall him ever mentioning being in love before.”
“Love?”
George leaned in and kissed me. “I’m falling in love with you. Without a doubt.”
George’s heartfelt words had me shivering.
“Ready to bolt?” he asked, his green eyes suddenly wary.
“No, just shocked to hear the words out loud. But in the very best way.” I cupped his face. “I’m falling in love with you too. I don’t know how this is going to work, or what I’m doing but I…”
My comment was silenced by his kiss.
I may be one for talking, but I knew George needed to feel my love, not just hear the words.
I pulled back and stood up, offering my hand to him. He placed his in mine, both of us trembling. I led him back inside to his cabin and locked the door.
Stripping off my shorts and t-shirt, I did the same for him, undressing him. Taking care of him.
“Lie down,” I demanded, and he sat down, then leaned back on the mattress on his forearms. With his legs spread wide, he was a feast for all my senses.
His dark chest hair made a sinuous path down his abs and around his cock, his balls.
I loved his natural look, but even more than that, I loved the feel of his hair against my skin.
He was bigger than me, his cock lying heavy against his stomach, pre-cum glistening.
The room was still heavy with the smell of our sex from earlier.
We were going to destroy his bed and require a new one if he kept looking at me like that, like a hungry predator ready to pounce.
But this time, I was in charge. I pulled the elastic from my hair and let it tumble down over my shoulders. I noticed his sharp inhale, and the way he fisted the sheets tightly in his hands. George loved my hair.
More than that, he loved me. He admitted he was falling in love with me.
I kneeled between his legs and leaned into his left thigh.
I trailed teasing kisses, playful licks, and gentle nips along his inner thigh, higher and higher.
Then I did the same with his other leg, taking my time, until I reached his cock.
Gripping the base firmly, I took an experimental lick, tasting his salty pre-cum.
A deep groan rumbled out of his chest, and I looked up.
Without breaking eye contact, I took in my mouth, swallowing him down.
“That’s it. Fuck,” he moaned as he let go of the sheet and gripped my hair. He tugged and the pleasure-pain in my scalp ignited a pulse throughout my body, making my cock throb.
His dick was wider than mine, longer too, but I was determined to take all of him. I pulled back and shook my head.
“Fuck is right. Fuck my face, sweetheart. Don’t hold back. Not with me,” I growled.
I opened my mouth, and he guided his dick with one hand while holding onto my hair with the other.
I relaxed my throat and swallowed him all the way down, loving the feel of his hot, pulsing cock in my throat. I was ravenous for it, for him. He pumped his hips and I let him guide the pace. I was totally at his mercy. And I loved every second of it.
My trust was absolute.
His answering moan and shaky thighs made my desire kick into high gear as he thrust faster and faster.
My lips were sore, and saliva ran down my chin, as I let him use my mouth for his pleasure.
I reached up and cupped his balls, then slid one finger back to rub his taint.
He jolted and pulled on my hair again. Tighter, longer.
“Yes,” he groaned as I tapped his hole. “Fuck.”
I felt his balls draw up tight. “Pull off if you don’t want to swallow my load,” he whispered.
We’d already discussed our sexual health history and I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Oh God, Rafe,” he cried out and hot bursts of cum filled my throat. I swallowed as fast I could, but some of it dripped out the sides of my mouth and down my chin.
I was a mess.
I’d never felt sexier in my life.
He let go of my hair, and his cock slipped from my mouth.
I licked my lips, tasting him, and suddenly I was hauled up in his arms to lie on top of him.
His green eyes were molten with desire as he reached for me, cradling my face as he took my mouth in a languid kiss, tasting himself.
I rubbed against him, my cock so hard and heavy, that all it would take was one or two rubs and I would be done for.
“So beautiful,” he whispered against my lips as he trailed a fiery path down my jaw, my neck. Fuck, when he licked the divot in my neck I almost climaxed.
“Don’t stop,” I moaned, arching my neck and gripping his head, holding on as the pleasure grew sharper, higher. George rolled us over and my head fell back against the mattress.
Slow and sensual, George took his time as he made his way down my body.
Every time I gasped or sighed, he slowed down and watched my reaction.
I’d never had a lover who was so attuned to my every need.
He finally reached for the bottle of lube and squeezed it in his hands, warming it.
Then he slid one callused hand around my cock, and I thrust into his grip, my heels digging into the mattress.
“George,” I whimpered.
“You’re so responsive to my touch. Your body was made for mine,” he whispered as he jacked my dick with sure strokes.
He slid his other hand under my arse, and between my cheeks. Circling my hole with teasing strokes, I thrust my hips, aching for his touch. Then he pushed one lubed finger in my hole and I cried out, the spark of pleasure so intense my legs locked.
“All mine,” he whispered.
And I was.
He pushed his finger deeper, and I was done.
I came in a hot rush, my vision receding as wave after wave of pleasure rolled through my body.
Hot cum lashed my skin, my stomach, my chest. I was panting, shivering.
Not just from the orgasm, but from the overwhelming feelings this man inspired.
Fuck. I was about to cry, until he crawled up the bed and lay down on his back, pulling me to him.
I nestled into his side, warm, satisfied, still shaking.
Without warning, he bent his head, taking my lips again. Giving me no room to breathe, mauling my mouth with sure strokes of his tongue, claiming me in the most primal way. The intensity of the kiss made my heart stutter. I leaned back and stared up at him.
“I love you,” I whispered, no longer able to contain the truth.
“I love you more.”