Chapter 28
GEORGE
THE FOLLOWING WEEK
I sat in the wheelhouse mapping out our travel routes for the coming days, but I had a hard time concentrating. I kept ruminating about the past week.
Thankfully the days had gone by quietly. No more parties, and no ex-boyfriends showing up unexpectedly. Rafe and I enjoyed day trips and excursions around Sydney with Rowan and Andrew.
It took me a while to shift from a strictly boss-employee relationship with Rowan to seeing him as my future brother-in-law. Yes, my heart knew Rafe was my forever. I just needed to convince him first.
Ever since Aldo’s visit, Rafe and I had been anything but calm. Of the two of us, I thought I would be the one with more doubts and concerns about our relationship.
But for all his professional confidence, my Rafe was struggling privately.
Despite my reassurances, I sometimes caught a worried look in his gaze that troubled me.
I’d ask him if he was all right and he’d give me his best smile—the one that sold fashion brands—but it didn’t sell me.
He couldn’t hide behind those expressive blue eyes of his.
It was like he was waiting for something to happen, for me to change my mind, which was ridiculous. Like suddenly he didn’t trust in how good or how right we felt together. I didn’t know what to say or do to convince him we weren’t too good to be true.
Our love was the truth.
And it appeared that other people recognized my intentions more than he did. We’d said our goodbyes to Rowan and Andrew this morning, but not before I got a private word with my boss.
“I want to thank you for including me on all your family outings this week,” I said to Rowan and I stood on the sun deck.
“I know it was a shock for you to learn about my relationship with Rafe, but I swear to you that my intentions are honorable,” I paused and then it hit me.
I knew exactly what I needed to do. “In fact, I require more flexibility in my schedule and I’m hoping you’ll agree to hire a second captain to split up the charters. ”
Rowan looked surprised and then he nodded. “If you have anyone in mind, refer them to me and we’ll go from there.”
“Thank you.”
“Shifting your priorities sounds like a lot more than a shipboard romance.”
“It is,” I nodded. “Rafe’s the love of my life.”
My statement weighed like a heavy anchor between us, until Rowan nodded.
“Andrew told me I was being daft, but I didn’t fully realize until we got down here and I watched the two of you together.
I guess I still think of Rafe as the little brother who needs my protection.
And to be honest, I didn’t think he’d ever want to be in a relationship.
He was always content being free and single.
But seeing him with you this past week shocked me.
In a very good way. He’s a happier, more settled version of himself.
He laughs more genuinely, if that makes sense. And you do too.”
I nodded in return. That was exactly how I felt.
“So yes, I was surprised, but I want you to know that I’m very happy for both of you. I know your integrity and honesty and that being the case, I couldn’t have picked a better man for Rafe. And I can see how much you love him.”
“He’s my heart,” I confessed, a strange lump in my throat making it difficult for me to talk.
My emotions rushed to the surface like a rising tide I had no control over. I blinked away the wetness threatening my eyes and held out my hand. Rowan shook it, then pulled me in for a hug, patting me on the back. I did the same, pleasantly surprised and shocked.
“Safe travels to you and Andrew.”
“Thanks. Take care of my brother.”
“Always,” I replied as I walked him down the stairs to join Andrew and Rafe.
Rafe had his usual tight shorts and tank top on, his long hair tied up in that messy bun I found the sexiest thing ever.
“Everything all right?” Rafe asked as he walked over to me and took my hand.
“Yes, everything is wonderful, love,” I replied and kissed him.
“Rowan didn’t scare you off?” he whispered as he pulled back.
“Of course not. Quite the opposite.”
We said our goodbyes and watched them as they walked off the ship and out of the marina.
“Finally. I thought they’d never leave,” Rafe whispered to me, his blue eyes full of mischief.
“Rafe!”
“What? I love my brother and brother-in-law, but I need to get back to work and finish my last two photo shoots. The client is asking for the next batch of samples, and I’ve been stalling for three days. And I’ve got that discovery call this afternoon. I delayed that too.”
“The sportswear line from Switzerland?”
“Yes. And most important of all, I need to get back to sunning naked on the deck. I’ve got to get rid of these tan lines.”
I pinched him on the arse.
“No more antics. Get back to work,” I demanded in my bossy tone.
“Aye, aye, captain.” He saluted me, and I shook my head.
“Go on then, stop distracting me.”
As much as I wanted to continue our banter, he was right. We both had work to get done.
For the next few weeks, we’d travel south, exploring the beaches of southern Australia.
I looked at the calendar on my mobile. I had less than fourteen days with Rafe left. And I was going to make the most of every one of them.
RAFE
It was far too sunny and warm to stay in, so I’d set up my laptop on the bridge deck to work outside.
The prospect call with the sportswear line went better than expected, and suddenly I had another job lined up. They wanted me to fly direct to Switzerland when I was done in Australia. Two weeks in the Alps, fully paid, was a pretty good gig.
I was already dreading it.
That sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach wouldn’t leave.
Ever since Aldo’s drop-in, I felt unsure of myself, and I didn’t like the feeling at all.
I was never one to worry about the future, I lived only in the present.
But my relationship with George had me worrying and thinking about all the ‘what ifs.’ Would he be happy if we only saw each other for a week out of every month?
Could that kind of relationship be sustained over time?
Would he still want to be exclusive if we were apart for long periods?
That last thought made me break out in a cold sweat.
I couldn’t share him with anyone. But was it fair to leave him alone for weeks or possibly months?
My lack of relationship experience made me question everything.
“Keep frowning like that and you’ll need Botox before long,” Niall admonished as he sat down opposite me.
His smile was blinding, and I forced myself to reciprocate.
“You’re in a permanent sunny mood lately,” I replied, and he nodded.
“I’m moving in with Willem when this trip is over, and my best friend is in love. I think both are good reasons, don’t you?”
“I do but…” I paused, closing my laptop.
“What’s wrong? Are you and George having problems?”
“No, not that. It’s just…I’ve never had to consider another person before.
Whenever I made major decisions about my work or my life, whatever felt right to me was all that mattered.
But now, with George, he’s all I can think about.
And I don’t know if I’m going to make the right decision.
I don’t want to fuck things up. And I don’t know if I’m the best thing for him. ”
I was scared to let him down. Scared to lose him.
“I told you about his ex-boyfriend showing up,” I continued. “That bloke flew down here and told George he’d leave his life behind. Maybe that’s what he needs. Someone who puts him first.”
Niall leaned forward and took my hand. “George is in love with you. Give yourself a break, Rafe. You have time to figure it out. From the way George touches you and talks about you, I can tell he’s not going anywhere.
If you need to go on a work trip for a few weeks or a month, do it. You can always come back to him.”
“Easier said than done. I got that new client this morning. They want me to travel to Switzerland as soon as this trip is over.”
“That’s amazing news!” Niall exclaimed until he noticed my lack of reaction. “Or maybe not?”
“It is, but I can’t enjoy it. I don’t want to leave George.”
“But you’d have to at some point anyway. You’ve got to go back to the US and pack up your condo and get your stuff sorted.”
“True." I picked up my glass of water and took a long sip. “I guess I’m being overly dramatic.”
“No, you’re not. I get it. Trust me, this trip has been like a rollercoaster for me too. I didn’t think that Willem and I would fall, but here we are. And it’s a big adjustment, having to consider someone else’s needs as well as your own. Like you said, you’re new at this.”
“I am. But I don’t like feeling insecure. It’s unsettling and humbling.”
“You’ll find your footing again. If you didn’t love him so much, you wouldn’t be this cut up about being separated. I’m guessing you haven’t told him how you feel?”
“Not yet, but he knows. He can read me so well already it’s frightening. But he doesn’t push. He’s waiting for me to broach the subject. He’s probably concerned that if he asks, I’ll get skittish and run.”
“He’s giving you space to work things out in your own time. As possessive as he is with you, it’s clear he’s not holding you back from chasing your dreams. And I think a partner like that is very rare.”
I nodded my head. “He is. My George is one of a kind.”
I just hoped that together, George and I would have a plan in place by the time this trip was up.
I didn’t want to leave anything left unsaid.