Chapter 1
JARED
BANGKOK
“ W hy are we headed to the outskirts of the city?”
It was the first thing I’d said to my lead bodyguard, Alex Sheffield, since we’d left the airport a half hour ago.
Alex sat beside me in the back of our SUV as we sped through the bustling streets of Bangkok. It was sometime at night, but I had no idea what time. I hadn’t checked my phone even though I knew there was probably a dozen or more messages and calls I had to return.
I was way past overtired.
I was a zombie from jetlag—my body ached, my eyes were dry, and a stress headache was blooming. The only thing I could focus on was the neon signs and throngs of people outside my window, everything blurring into one large streak of flashing light.
“We’re heading to the port, not downtown,” Alex responded.
“But downtown is where the hotels are.”
“We’re not staying at a hotel. Too many of them had security weak spots.”
“So you’ve rented a villa or something?” I asked.
“Or something.”
Alex was being more cryptic than usual. Normally I put my faith in him and went along with whatever he felt was best but, in this instance, I wanted details.
Traveling from L.A. to Thailand was not a simple journey.
It was twenty plus hours of flight time, then customs and, given my film production, verifying work permits and visas. The past two days of prep and travel had been exhausting. All I wanted was a bed to crawl into for the next twenty-four hours.
And I wanted to know about the place I was going to call home for the next two months. I wasn’t in the mood to play guessing games.
“Tell me where we’re staying, Alex.”
“On a ship,” he replied, glancing at me.
His pale blue eyes glittered in the darkness.
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me.”
“A ship? How did that come about?” I asked as I rubbed a hand over my temple, my headache throbbing.
“I had a discussion with Rowan Carter at his brother Rafe’s wedding three months ago. About chartering Now, Voyager, remember? I told you about it.”
I was so caught up in my head that day I couldn’t remember a fucking thing.
Except the reception, where I had been seated between Alex and my snarky lawyer, Aiden Barstock.
I’d met Aiden a year ago, when he agreed to take on my lawsuit against a former studio executive. It had taken over a decade of therapy, but I was finally ready to face my abuser. I was done staying silent, but I would have to wait a bit longer to finally have my say.
The only people who knew about the case were Aiden, a few actors, and Alex.
Of course, Alex. He knew every detail about my life.
I wish I could say the reverse was true.
Both Aiden and Alex had fierce personas that I was drawn to and curious about.
In my visual way, I privately referred to them as Fire and Ice. Either way, if you attempted to get close to them, you were sure to get burned. And lately, being stuck between these two men had become my one and only distraction.
“Rowan’s been in Southeast Asia on business. He and his husband spent a month here and are flying back to London as we speak. So Now, Voyager is ours during filming. It’s a great solution. We’ll be far enough away from prying eyes, and in a manner that I can control.”
“I have to take a tender every day to get to work?”
“We’ll be docked in Bangkok for the first few days. Then it’s a short boat ride. And no different from hopping in a vehicle.”
I’d usually relish the opportunity to volley back and forth with Alex but not now. I had no energy left.
“All right. I’m too fucking tired to care. As long as I can get to a bed in the foreseeable future, I’m good.”
I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
I felt Alex’s gaze on me like I always did, and instead of falling asleep, my heart began to race.
He was my constant shadow but far from being hidden.
In fact, I’d become attuned to every look, breath, and movement he made. Which shouldn’t be the case.
Bodyguards are supposed to be inconspicuous.
Instead, I found my thirty-four-year-old special forces security lead far more interesting than the myriad of people I met in L.A.
I worked in the most superficial, bizarre industry ever, and Alex was the total opposite.
Like Aiden, Alex was British, with a quick wit and the additional lethal skills he’d honed in the military. He was very, very real.
I trusted him implicitly. With my safety. With my life.
But there was so much more to him that I wanted to know. Unfortunately, the man was a locked door with a hidden key.
And I wanted the goddamn key.
“These threatening emails are escalating. And we still can’t track the source.
I’m not taking any chances. Hotels are always a risk since staff can be bribed.
And I only have a basic understanding of the Thai language.
Trust me when I say this was the best solution.
The ship is all ours, the staff is fully vetted, and we’ll have round-the-clock watch. ”
“I believe you, Alex, you don’t need to sell it. I’m just overtired and anxious to get settled in. If the ship is the best place, then I’m fine. Is George running the crew?”
Alex nodded. “He’s the captain for this charter since Rafe is working nearby in Phuket on a photo shoot. Rafe will join us in a week. And Dylan in a few days, so you’ll have company other than me.”
It would be great to catch up again.
Rafe and George were a wonderful couple.
Rafe was an artist like me, a photographer, funny and outgoing, and George was quiet but genuine, and totally devoted to his husband.
My only concern was that they were still newlyweds.
Long days filming would mean I’d be tired and grumpy by day’s end and having to witness their over-the-top PDA might push my already strained patience to an end.
But Dylan would be staying with us too, and that was welcome news.
Dylan Aylmer was a long-standing actor. Like me, he struggled with alcohol addiction.
He’d turned his life around, was now three years sober, and recently got engaged to the man who wrote his autobiography, Max Lowell.
Dylan wasn’t just a phenomenal actor but had become a great friend over the past year.
And he was also the star of my latest production.
I’d have company traveling to and from set, which made me happy.
“You should be pleased. Being stuck with me 24/7 can’t be easy,” Alex commented.
I opened my eyes at that statement and looked over at him.
Even though I’d been with Alex every day for over a year, I never got tired of studying his person.
With a shaved head, cut jawline, and permanent five o’clock shadow—not to mention those icy blue eyes—being stuck with Alex was far from a hardship.
Others were leery of his physical dominance. He wasn’t only tall, but a wall of muscle, a testament to his daily workout regimen.
I ran and practiced yoga, but I’d never have his muscle mass.
With the addition of colorful tattoos on his arms and neck, he looked more like an outlaw biker than a bodyguard. Not only that, but his brusque manner could rattle even the calmest person.
But not me.
He made me feel safe yet strangely unsteady at the same time. Like I was walking on quicksand.
It didn’t stop me from taking the next step toward him.
“If I didn’t enjoy your company, you wouldn’t be sitting beside me. I know you cringe when I say this, and it’s too American for you, but I think of you as a friend, not just my security detail.”
Alex inhaled sharply and shook his head.
“We’re not mates. I work for you. If emotions get involved, objectivity is lost. And that puts you in danger.”
“Chill out, Alex. I mean, most people who have round-the-clock security are friendly with their staff. It builds trust,” I grumbled. “Don’t worry, I’m not about to strip down and launch myself at you.”
I regretted my words as soon as they left my mouth, because a blush I didn’t know I was capable of flooded my cheeks.
Thank God for being in a dark car.
“No worries there. I’ve seen your lovers. I’m hardly your type,” Alex muttered.
“I don’t have a type,” I snapped back.
Now I was getting cranky because there was nothing I disliked more than being predictable. I liked variety in all things, including in my sex life. Alex knew it.
Or at least, he used to.
I hadn’t had a lover in almost a year. A record for me.
It hadn’t always been that way. It was unsettling, but I had enough self-awareness to recognize why.
When Alex entered my life, I noticed a change. I spent my spare time studying him, completely intrigued by his quiet but lethal persona.
Not only that, but Alex waiting on the other side of the door while I was about to get fucked by the man of the night was like a sledgehammer to my sex drive. Instant erection killer.
It had never happened with my bodyguards in the past.
And lately, any man I met was always measured up to Alex. And, except for Aiden, they all fell short.
“They’re actors or models or in the business. That’s what I meant,” he added.
“Most of them, yes. Because the men in my world know to keep their mouths shut about their private life. My experience fucking outside the business hasn’t gone well. As you know.”
I had one former lover, a sales rep with a secret gambling addiction, who attempted to blackmail me. The asshole wanted a shitload of money, threatening to go to the press with photos he’d taken of me without my consent.
I’d never heard Alex utter so many swear words at once, but even then, his icy control had been absolute.
I don’t know what Alex said or did, but I never heard from that man again and the pictures never surfaced.
I remember wondering what it would finally take to see Alex fully unleashed.
To break through that glacial veneer he maintained at all times. I wanted to be a first-hand witness, and just the thought had a shiver racking my body.
I could blame it on the air conditioning, but that would be a total lie.
Alex’s phone rang and, thankfully the topic of my sex life was now closed.
“Sheffield speaking,” Alex answered.
I noticed his jaw tense, as he looked over at me.
“When?...Send it to me. And no matter what, don’t respond. I’ll arrange to have Kiernan or Korry Doyle cover you…Jared and I arrived in Bangkok three hours ago, but we’re in transit… Yes, of course we’re staying at a secure location. I know what I’m doing. Stay safe.”
Alex tapped his phone and turned back to me.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“Aiden. Your stalker is now threatening him.”
“What?”
“Aiden will now have a bodyguard for the foreseeable future.”
“He should refer me to someone else. He doesn’t need this crazy shit in his life.”
As much as Aiden loved to run his mouth, I knew the man had sensitivities he kept hidden.
Given my work as both an actor and a director, I had a knack for reading people. Comedy—or, in Aiden’s case, snark—was a defense mechanism.
“If he wanted to pawn you off to a colleague, he would have done so by now. Aiden isn’t shy about anything. And given his work, he’s used to high-risk games,” Alex replied.
Something about Alex’s tone had me turning to stare at him again.
He was biting his full lower lip, his only tell when he was working out worst-case scenarios. And that in turn, made everything in my body go on alert.
I didn’t like playing games with people, but I did enjoy a risk now and then.
More like two.
My life was starting to mirror one of my movie scripts.
I’d always pushed the envelope when it came to my art. But how far was I willing to go in real life?