Chapter 3
KIERNAN
T here were few places where I felt at home.
A lot of my discomfort had to do with being self-conscious about my size. That’s not my ego talking, that’s six feet five inches talking.
My introversion also played a part. When I was nervous, I tended to ramble on like an eejit. But most of the time, I was always too much in my head, using a scowl instead of words to get my point across.
All right, most times I came across as a grumpy arsehole. It was my armor. The only protection I had.
When people took in my size, and my numerous tattoos, they were immediately taken aback. Even though I was twenty-eight and had been dealing with these reactions for over a decade, I still wasn’t used to it.
My twin, Korry, on the other hand, didn’t share my unease.
But he was an extrovert and made friends easily. He and I were night and day, and you can figure who was who. It had been that way since we were kids, growing up in the heart of Dublin.
The kicker was when I told people I used to be a professional fighter. They either had some weird fascination with it or they back-peddled away from me faster than an Olympic sprinter.
And my guarded nature only grew over time. Even more so when I was fighting. The competitive world I’d lived in for two years made me harder, angrier, and I wasn’t a fan. It made me feel even more isolated and alone.
The toll on my body wasn’t good either.
For the longest time, I had a handful of family and friends that I trusted, who trusted me.
Until recently.
I’d been a bodyguard for the past year and a half, and it was turning out to be a welcome change. A lot of security staff I worked with had backgrounds in fighting, martial arts, and the military, so we had a lot in common. A few had since become mates.
My clients were great too. Mostly actors, billionaires, and barristers, mind, but I felt welcome in their circle. I was seen as an asset, not an outlier.
And I was finally getting comfortable in my skin. Sort of.
Being back on board Now, Voyager should have been the best kind of holiday gig. I got double my usual pay, the work was mostly self-contained and low stress, and I got to do it all in the Caribbean instead of freezing my arse off back home. And the superyacht had a crew that was as kind as my kin.
Including Charlie.
Especially Charlie.
That’s why it stung when I reached my hand out to help him out of the water and he handed me his bag instead. Like usual, I took the gesture personally.
“When did you get in?” Charlie asked as he stepped onto the deck and shook himself off, water flying everywhere.
I reached for a rolled-up towel on one of the loungers and passed it over to him.
He ran the towel over his wet curls and then down his neck. His white linen shirt and shorts were now plastered to his body and for a moment, my eyes caught on his sculpted chest. Unlike me, Charlie had no tattoos or chest hair.
He was all golden skin and tight muscles.
I glanced up and caught his smile. The wide one that showcased both dimples. No one could resist that grin.
Not even grumpy arsed me.
I’m pretty sure that’s why he never had trouble making friends. The sight of it made my tension ease.
Charlie was the first member of the crew to greet me when I stepped aboard this ship months ago. And he was the one person I’d clicked with right away. He wasn’t fazed by my cranky manner, my size, or my raging appetite (if I don’t eat every two hours, best get out of my way).
We’d struck up an immediate friendship.
One that felt more intense than any other in my life.
I found myself anticipating every text or call between us. I’d never been so excited to hear from anyone and wondered why my relationship with Charlie was different.
But then, these past few weeks, he went silent. He told me he was busy with work and other stuff, but I knew that wasn’t the reason for his change of heart. And being the anxious introvert I was, I ruminated for ages on what I’d done wrong.
This week, and for the first time since I’d been a bodyguard, I considered not taking a job because I was unsure about my reception.
My boss, Alex, was surprised when I hesitated to say yes to this gig.
He knew the reason why I needed the money.
I let him think I was mulling it over for family reasons, but the truth was, I wasn’t sure how Charlie would react to seeing me in person again.
But I needed the money. There were debts back home that needed sorting.
So here I was. I hoped it wouldn’t be awkward. I wouldn’t want to make Charlie uneasy. After all, the ship was his home first.
“I arrived a half hour ago. But I’m not on official duty until tomorrow.
Alex is with Rowan and the rest of the group.
Jana said she was going to set me up in a cabin, not sure which one,” I paused and rubbed my cropped beard.
“I would’ve texted to give you a heads up but, well, after our last text, I wasn’t sure… I mean, I didn’t know?—”
Feck, I was blabbering.
“That’s all my fault,” Charlie interrupted as he threw off his soaked shirt and sat down on one of the deck chairs.
He pulled out his phone and wiped it off, then tapped on it.
Then he looked back up at me. “I’m so sorry I went quiet these past two weeks.
I’ve been dealing with chronic insomnia and studying to get my next promotion. ”
I watched Charlie’s face as he listed his reasons, but I could tell that there was something else going on. Something he didn’t want to say.
“No worries.”
Charlie stood up and shook his head. “No, I mean it. I’m very sorry, Kier. Friends don’t ghost each other like that. Forgive me?”
I nodded.
“And I’m really glad you’re here.”
He smiled again and I couldn’t help but return it. A warm feeling, much like coming home, had me feeling lighter than I had in ages.
“Did your mobile survive the swim?”
Charlie looked down at his phone. “Yeah and thank fuck. I wouldn’t want to have to explain to George why I need a new work phone.”
“And why would that be?” a deep voice echoed behind us.
We both turned to find the man in question walking down the steps to join us.
Captain George Bernard.
The man my brother referred to as ‘hot daddy’.
Not that I noticed.
Much.
With a thick head of silver hair, scruff to match, and intense green eyes, George was a handsome bloke with a presence that demanded attention. He was Charlie’s boss but also part of the Carter family, married to Rafe.
George’s reserved manner only shifted when his husband was around.
Me and Korry had been witness to their relationship from the start, having guarded them when he and Rafe were first together, and George’s ex was stalking him. They were a loving couple, but I often wondered how two such opposites could be so in sync.
“Did you go for a swim in the marina before stepping on board?”
George looked at Charlie, his serious expression marred only by the slight twitch at the corner of his mouth.
“I slipped on the plank, okay? First time in two years,” Charlie grumbled as his face flushed.
George finally let out a chuckle. “Well, it happens to the best of sailors. But usually only after a night of debauchery.”
“Sorry to disappoint you, but I’d only had one drink when you called me. And, unfortunately, no debauchery before that,” Charlie offered. “This one here startled me by yelling from the shadows and I lost my balance.”
George glanced at me and raised one eyebrow. “You scared my most unflappable crew member?”
“I asked him for his ID as a joke. I thought he saw me, or at least, recognized my voice.”
“I told you, it’s dark out here and I was surprised,” Charlie repeated.
“Ya can’t miss me, Char, even in the dark.”
“You’re stealthy.”
“Stealthy?” I bit back a surprised laugh.
“From your martial arts. Come on, you may be big, but you move smooth and fast. That’s why you’re the Irish Tiger.”
Charlie was referencing my fighting moniker from back in the day.
My face heated and I was grateful for the dark.
George glanced between the two of us like he wasn’t sure what to make of our conversation.
“Yes, well, we’ve got a sick crew member and an engine room that will need a full check before we head out tomorrow. Noah’s been moved to his own cabin for isolation purposes, so you’ll have to share with another crew member,” George explained.
Charlie stood up. “Let me get changed.”
“Do you need help?” I asked.
George and Charlie both stared at me, and I felt my flush deepen. “I mean, in the engine room. I know a thing or two about ships, remember? I worked on a trawler before I started fighting.”
Charlie nodded. “Flynn and I could use another set of eyes when we run tests. I’ll meet you there in five.”
Charlie grabbed his shirt and bag and headed inside.
He was one to talk about stealth. Charlie had a walk that was confident and fluid, and I couldn’t help but notice the way his back muscles flexed.
My eyes seemed to have a mind of their own, running down over his form until they locked on his arse. Charlie’s arse was round and firm and displayed perfectly by wet shorts that clung to him like a second skin.
I remembered that arse from my last visit. It had my undivided attention then, too. Which was interesting, giving that I’d never been into men before.
But apparently, I was into arses. Or at least, Charlie’s.
He’s a mate, knock it off.
Then I remembered George standing beside me.
“What time are we due to head out tomorrow?” I asked, trying to get out of my strange head space.
“Everyone should arrive around ten thirty. If all goes according to plan, we’ll leave here at eleven.”
I nodded. “And what about your in-laws?”
“They’ll be flying down to join us the following week.”
“Going to be a full house. I mean, deck.”
“Indeed. Including the dogs.”
“Alex told me. That’s great.”
George gave one of his rare smiles. “It wouldn’t be a holiday without our fur babies. Rafe’s got their Christmas and New Year’s outfits all sorted.”
“I can’t wait to see that.”
“They’ll be glad to see you too. Ginger most of all.”
I had a soft spot for the feisty terrier rescue.
Last time I was on board, she’d followed me around like a shadow and even snuck into my room for a cuddle or two.
Before George and Rafe had adopted her, she was a stray that had suffered neglect.
One of Ginger’s back legs had broken and never healed properly.
But it didn’t stop her from being an active pup. And I loved her tenacious spirit.
“Wish I could have a dog, but the job and the hours don’t make it so. Someday, though, I’ll have my own slice of paradise and a few dogs to go with.”
George nodded and was about to say something when his mobile rang. He pulled out his phone and that rare smile made an appearance again.
“It’s Rafe,” he announced and looked up at me. “I’ll see you in the morning, Kiernan.”
George wandered back upstairs, and I headed inside.
The air-conditioned interior was cool and welcoming.
The living spaces on the yacht were designed with relaxation in mind, with large, comfortable couches and chairs. Big enough to withstand my weight, which I appreciated. The ship felt more like a home than a floating hotel.
Like most staff, I was usually barefoot on board but decided to leave my trainers on since I was heading down to the engine room.
I quickly wound down the stairs until I reached the lowest level. The door to the engine room was open so I stepped inside.
Unlike the rest of the ship, it was noisy and hot, with the lingering smell of mildew and diesel.
I spotted Flynn, the second engineer, at the far end of the room, with a wrench in hand as he struggled with a pipe.
He stopped what he was doing and gave a wave. “Hey, Kiernan, is Charlie back on board yet?”
“He’s changing. He’ll be down shortly. How’s Noah?” I asked.
“Still puking his guts out, poor guy,” Flynn replied and started towards me. “Let’s hope it’s not contagious.”
“No kidding,” I nodded. “How’ve you been? How’s the boyfriend?”
Flynn’s smile faded. “We broke up three weeks ago. He wasn’t a fan of me being away at work two months at a time.”
“I’m sorry. You okay?”
“Yeah, I am. Honestly, I don’t think my heart was in that relationship.” He shrugged. “What about you? Anyone catch your eye?”
“Charlie,” I stated as the man himself stepped into the room.
“Charlie?” Flynn asked, his eyes nearly popping out of his head.
He and Charlie both stared at me, mouths open.
“No!” My face heated. “I mean, I saw Charlie and I said his name out loud. Because he caught my eye. But not like that. I mean, I noticed him when you asked the question…and I’m going to stop talking now.”
Feck.