Chapter 7 #2
Knox was not pleased by this news, but since there was nothing further he could do but escort the lady back to Midvale, he reluctantly steered her back toward the pond where he that man resembled a sodden pig. His clothes were stuck to him, his hair plastered to his forehead.
“Lady Astrid!” he exclaimed when he saw her. Knox decided that was his cue to exit, so he quickly ducked out of sight.
He saw Astara’s head whip around in confusion but she greeted the gentleman with aplomb. “My lord! What a dreadful occurrence! I am sure you must be eager to return home and change so you do not get a chill. I am certainly going to take to my bed. My poor nerves are quite overset.”
Knox had to snort at the performance she was portraying. If she did not make it as an undercover agent for the Crown, he had no doubt she could tread the boards with expertise.
He continued to follow behind the couple until they reached the safety of the carriage, into which they climbed then headed out of the park.
All along the way, Knox watched every passerby, keeping every possibility open of another attack, but when nothing untoward occurred, he hailed a hackney and reached Astara’s townhouse, returning to his usual attire before she walked through the front door.
When she spied him in the parlor looking quite comfortable with a cup of tea and the morning Times, she said evenly, “I am glad to see you back to your general self. Tell me, do you often accost young woman in the park in such a hideous disguise?”
He set the paper aside. “Only ones that have a particular interest for me.” When she blinked, he realized how intimate that sounded, so he smiled and added, “And especially for the Lion’s Watch.”
“Indeed,” she murmured. “That is the only thing that matters, is it not?”
He frowned, feeling as though there was some underlying tension in that statement. “You are currently a very important asset to the cause,” he noted.
“Hmm, yes.” She tilted her head. “Again, is that all that matters to you? The war with France?” She shook her head. “Do you know the man believes me to be a spy?”
He kept his expression neutral. “Is that not what you are hoping to gain by the efforts you are doing to prove yourself?”
“Yes, but I find it rather crude of you to point out that if my life gets snuffed out in the process, it would be nothing but water off a duck’s back. I am expendable, am I not? A common woman whose existence does not actually matter?”
Knox’s mouth slackened. But surprise quickly gave way to annoyance, which was swiftly followed by anger. “If you truly believe that, then perhaps you are not as insightful as I imagined you were.”
He got up, prepared to leave her in a rush of frustrations for the second time that day, but she stepped into his path before he could make his retreat. “Are you are saying you do care if I die?”
His frown deepened. “What sort of nonsensical query is that? You should know that I do not wish for any true patriot of England to meet their end.”
She snorted. “Is it that difficult for you to admit that you have feelings? I know you were overset earlier because you dared to share some of yourself with me.” She set a hand on his chest, and he suddenly found it difficult to draw a full breath.
“There is nothing wrong with allowing others to know you are not invincible, that you are human, a man of flesh and blood.”
“It is not good for the enemy to know that,” he ground out. “If you express any sort of weakness, it will be used against you.”
Her eyes were shining pools of emeralds. “Why did you really follow me today? Was it just because of honor and a sense of duty? Or were you wanting to keep me safe?”
“What does it matter?”
“It does,” she countered softly. “Just tell me.”
Something uncomfortable was rising within him, something he didn’t want to define. “I need to go.”
She shook her head. “Not until you tell me why you were at the park, the real reason.”
The dainty hand on his chest seemed as though it was burning a hole straight through him. Deciding he wasn’t going to rid himself of this personal torture until he confessed, he glared at her and said evenly, “I was there for you.”
* * *
She knew it. And she wanted to cheer because of it.
Astara knew that the duke looked at her as more than another mission he must complete.
He wouldn’t have been so open and forthcoming with her as he had earlier if he did not.
He might fight and rail against any sort of connection between them, but his subconscious was willing to admit the truth even if his heart was not yet ready to do so.
She turned the tables on him again and said boldly, “Have you ever been in love, Your Grace?”
His expression shuttered and she could tell he was engaging in a fierce battle with himself. “That is not your concern.”
“I am going to guess that you have not.” She smiled slightly. “I was once, or rather, I thought I was.” She let her hand slip away and moved away from him, giving him the chance to leave if he so chose.
But when she turned away from him and walked over to one of the windows to peer out into the street, his deep voice spoke up behind her, “You do not seem old enough to have allowed your heart to become engaged so easily.”
“It was not easy, I assure you.” She sighed lightly, her breath fogging on the glass pane. “I was not yet sixteen and this gentleman was charming and handsome and smelled divine, perfect for a youthful engagement and bad decisions.”
“What happened?”
She swallowed hard, past the lump of discontent clogging her throat.
It had not been a time in her life she ever wanted to revisit, but she knew this was the only way she could earn the duke’s trust in return—to show him that she was vulnerable too.
With a shrug, she turned back to face him.
“It is the same story for many, I fear. We were just not meant to be.”
“He left you without any just cause?”
She laughed. “Do not appear so shocked. It is not as though I had anything to offer except my love. For a poor, orphan woman, that does not get one very far.”
“He was a fool for letting you go.” The animosity that tinged his voice made her stomach do a strange flip. Her breath caught as he slowly walked closer to her. “I would not have allowed you to go so easily.”
It would be so simple to fall into the power of his words, to believe that things would be different if she allowed her emotions to become entangled with his, but she knew how the world worked.
“It is nice in theory, Your Grace, but we both know an association between us can go no further than this house.”
She wanted him to deny her claim, to curse society and all the strictures that were involved, but in the end, he just clenched his jaw and said nothing.
“I promised you that I would do whatever was in the power of the Watch to discover your lineage and I intend to do just that. For now, that is all I can definitively offer you.”
“Of course.” Astara swallowed down the bitter regret that wanted to rise up and choke her.
But she supposed knowing that he could feel something for her was a slight victory.
After such a short association, what else could she expect?
And did she actually want more from him?
She knew nothing of being a duchess and just the hint of such a prospect was more than a little daunting.
She adopted a bright smile and did her best to hide the shimmer of tears that threatened to waver her vision. “I suppose I should retire for a time. It was to be a musicale this evening, was it not? No doubt it will be a late performance—”
Astara’s arm was caught as she started to move past the duke. He spun her around and captured her within the circle of his embrace, his mouth a whisper away from hers. “If I asked to kiss you, Astara, what would you say?”
Her focus immediately went to the chiseled lines of his masculine mouth. “I might be inclined to accept, Your Grace.”
“My name is Knox,” he murmured, the husky whisper causing a delicious shiver to travel down her spine.
Her tongue darted out to moisten her lips. “Knox…”