Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
T HE TOWN HOUSE WAS DARK and very chilly inside. Howard turned on the lights and went throughout the house, stoking all the fires. The children’s sorrow and deep disappointment were painful to witness. The two of them huddled together on Howard’s armchair, gazing out the front window into the darkened street.
“What now?” Addy whispered to Howard when he returned from his last trip to the coal bin.
He smiled half-heartedly and gestured to the wrapped presents beneath the tree. “Shall we open them?”
Addy agreed. “Jack, Polly, I think some of these presents have your names on them.”
The children joined them without much enthusiasm, and all four of them sat on the floor beside the Christmas tree. Jack opened his presents carefully, as if afraid to tear the paper. Polly imitated him. His eyes brightened when he saw the fire engine. “This is really mine?” he asked.
“Yes, it’s all yours,” Howard replied.
Polly caressed her new doll’s porcelain face, then hugged it to her chest, rocking it in her arms. She stood to put the wooden baby Jesus back in His manger, then sat down to cradle her doll again. Mrs. Gleason had knitted new hats and mittens for the children, and warm scarves for Addy and Howard. Susannah had helped Jack and Polly make pretty sachets with dried lavender for Addy’s bureau drawers. Jack smiled when Addy praised them.
“They smell wonderful,” she said inhaling the scent. “Thank you!”
The children had decorated a little wooden tray for Howard with his initials in bright, rainbow colors. “Susannah says you can put your keys and cuff links in it at night,” Jack told him.
“She’s right. This will be perfect for them. Thank you.”
The presents that Addy and Howard had for each other remained, but she wanted to wait until they were alone to open them. She could feel the sadness begin to settle over their household again like fog, so she reached for Polly and pulled her onto her lap, suddenly certain about what she needed to do. “Jack, look at me,” she said. He did, his eyes mournful. “I’m so very sorry that your father hasn’t come. I know how sad you must feel. But I want you to know that you and Polly will have a home here with us, from now on. We won’t send you back to the orphanage—or anywhere else.” She put her arm around Jack and drew him closer, hugging both children as her tears fell.
Howard laid his hand on Jack’s head for a moment as if in blessing, his own eyes shining with tears. “It happens to all of us that God sometimes doesn’t answer our prayers the way we’d hoped,” he said. “It doesn’t mean He didn’t hear you, or He’s mad at you, or you did something wrong, but that He has something else planned for you. I know you’re sad and disappointed, and you have every right to feel that way. You can pray and tell God exactly how you feel. He doesn’t mind. But never stop trusting Him, Jack. Never doubt His love for you. I know Addy and I can never take the place of your parents, but the four of us can still be a family.”
Jack threw himself into Howard’s arms and sobbed, weeping for a long, long time. Addy felt Polly trembling with silent tears and wondered how much she understood. It must have been hard for her today to return to where she’d once lived. Did she understand that her parents were never coming back?
Eventually, the warmth of the fire and the events of the long day made everyone sleepy. Jack wanted to continue his vigil by the window and Addy didn’t have the heart to send him downstairs to his room. They decided to let him stay there, and he finally fell asleep in the chair with Polly curled up beside him. Howard covered them with a blanket. “I’ll carry them to bed when we’re ready to go upstairs,” he said. He drew a breath and looked at Addy as if afraid to speak.
“What’s wrong?”
“Addy, I have to ask—are you sure about having Jack and Polly live here with us?”
“I’m very sure.”
“What changed your mind?”
“I think it was seeing all those families in the tenement today.” She paused, trying to put what she felt into words. “I’ve wanted to do big things for God, like my grandmother did. To make a difference, especially in the lives of women and children. People shouldn’t have to live in poverty. They should have hope. That’s why I joined the suffrage movement, and why I wanted to start a school for girls like Susannah. But when we shared that meal with those people today... It wasn’t much to us, but it meant everything to them. And I realized that I can make a difference by doing simple, everyday things—like helping to raise two children.”
“Addy, you’ve already made a difference in Susannah’s life. And in Polly’s and Jack’s, too.”
“Maybe that’s all God asks of us. Some people are given the opportunity to do grand things in life, but if we just make a difference in the lives of the people God puts in our paths, I think He’s pleased with that. Mrs. Gleason would say she’s ‘just a cook.’ But she has blessed me, and my society friends, and Jack and Polly in more ways than I can count. She would say it wasn’t much, but to us it was huge. I don’t think it was a coincidence that Jack ended up on our doorstep. I believe God wanted us to help him.”
Howard reached for her, pulling her into his arms as they sat together on the floor. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.” She wiped her eyes after they separated again. “But if the children are going to be ours, they can’t keep sleeping in the maid’s room,” she said, laughing. “We must convince them to sleep upstairs in a proper bedroom.”
Howard laughed, too, then said, “Hey, you haven’t opened my present, Addy.”
“I wanted to wait until we were alone. But I really want you to open mine, first. It’s in those three boxes.”
“What about these?” he asked, gesturing to three smaller packages.
“Those are for Jack’s father.”
Howard closed his eyes for a moment. “Oh.”
“Jack was worried that his papa wouldn’t have anything to open, so I told him that this one could be for him. It was supposed to be for you, but... and the other two presents are from Mrs. Gleason and the children.”
The atmosphere had turned somber again. Howard sighed and reached for one of Addy’s boxes. “All three are for me? Whoa, it’s heavy!” He tore off the paper and opened the cardboard flaps. His eyes grew wide when he saw what was inside. He pulled out one beautiful, leatherbound volume after another, stroking the covers, opening them to sniff inside. “I love that smell! This is a treasure trove, Addy! I’m overwhelmed!”
“I saved some of the very best books from my family’s library when my mother sold my great-grandfather’s mansion. I spent a day going through the library with you in mind, remembering how much you admired all those volumes. They’ll fit on these shelves in our parlor for now, but we can hire a carpenter later so you can start your very own library.”
“They’re wonderful, Addy. Thank you.” He hugged her and kissed her again. “Now, open my present to you.”
Addy untied the string and opened the plain brown wrapping paper to find a lawyer’s accordion file, like the ones Howard used to bring to the mansion when he’d helped Mother settle Father’s estate. She stared at it for a moment then smiled up at him. “This looks intriguing!” But before she had a chance to unwind the string clasp and open it, there was a loud banging on the front door. She and Howard stared at each other.
“Could it be?” he murmured. He scrambled to his feet before Addy could move, and raced to the door.