Chapter 18 #2
I slip my fingers out and roll over onto my back, sweeping my arm over my body in invitation. Since the first time we tried this, he’s gotten more confident, and I love it, because watching him on top of me is hotter than any fantasy scenario teenage Kija could have ever dreamed up.
He reaches for the lube on the nightstand, squirting it into his hand and slicking my cock with a few rough strokes before he throws his leg over my hips.
Lining himself up, he bites his lip as the head of my cock nudges at his entrance.
With a soft moan, he wraps his hand around me and guides me inside, slowly taking every inch until he’s sitting on me.
“Best feeling in the world,” he breathes, eyes closed like he wants to focus on how satisfying the fullness and stretch is.
“Yes, you are,” I agree, because there’s nothing like being inside him raw like this—slippery, hot, and so, so tight. I glide my hands up the inside of his thighs until he grabs ahold of them, lacing our fingers together and holding on for balance as he starts to move.
Sun rises and falls unrushed, teasing himself a little each time as he varies the angle and depth.
I’m captivated, just like I always am with everything he does, because it’s beautiful.
The way he uses his body—and mine—is some kind of art, a visual and physical performance of sensuality and abandon.
When he starts to slow down, his head hanging as he gets tired, I grasp his hips, sitting up a little to pull him into my lap.
He automatically wiggles closer, pressed against me, chest to chest, so he can kiss me.
I hold him steady to rock in waves, shallow thrusts that seem to hit just the right spot with each pass, until he’s shaking.
“Make me come, hyung, wanna come,” he pleads in a ragged whisper, finding another burst of energy to fuck himself on my cock, his arms draped over my shoulders for support.
“Then come for me,” I say, tightening my grip on him to pull him against me harder, allowing me to get that much deeper. “I love to see you come. So pretty when you fall apart for me.”
“Ah!” he gasps, blunt nails digging into my back as he tenses, grinding forward to find the friction he needs, then spills between us with a loud cry of what might be my name.
The way his body clenches around me, impossibly snug, is all I need to follow him, moaning into a frantic kiss as I come inside him.
Between the orgasm and how tightly he’s holding me, it’s hard to catch my breath, but I’d die for this and leave this world happy.
I kiss him again and again, his fingers tangled in my hair, his chest heaving against mine.
“I think it’s so good every time, but then the next time is always better.
” He tips forward to rest his head on my shoulder, and I turn cautiously to lay him on the bed.
I pull out gently, some part of me smug, seeing the come dribble out as his hole flutters, suddenly empty.
“Just think how amazing it will be when we’ve been together for years,” he comments, almost sounding sleepy.
My heart skips a beat, and I know it’s not only from the cardio we just did, but the idea that he’s thinking like that. Like I have started to do on the nights when I’m alone and I don’t like the spaces he leaves when he’s not here. Not with me.
Watching him curl around my pillow, looking deeply content, I climb out of the bed, going to grab a wash cloth to clean him up again. He smiles but doesn’t open his eyes as I draw the damp rag over him lightly, leaving a trail of kisses in its wake.
I add the soggy fabric to the pile of laundry that needs to be done but can wait until tomorrow, because I’m climbing back into the mess of sheets with him. He snuggles up to me right away, face to face, his legs tangled up with mine.
This part, right now—the afterglow where the heat is low and simmering like something golden and precious—is almost as good as the sex.
Maybe better. I’ve never really taken the time to enjoy or appreciate it before, but that’s probably because I’d also never really done it before.
If everyone got what they were there for, there was no need to linger.
But I’d stay here with Sun forever. With his closed eyes and soft smile, his messy hair, and the pink that highlights his cheeks and chest, he looks content.
Like he wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than here with me.
And that’s a powerful drug for me. I can’t get enough of these moments, this sort of closeness.
I skim my fingers along his spine, from the small of his back to the nape of his neck, slowly up and down until he snuffles, letting out a giggle that tells me it tickles.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t be. I like it,” he tells me. “I like being here with you, just lying in bed. After. We can be so intense, but then so calm. It makes me feel like you see me. Maybe that sounds stupid, but…”
I cut him off before he feels like he needs to defend himself. “It doesn’t; not at all. I was thinking the same thing. I want you so bad in that moment, but I crave you like this, too.”
He shivers. “That sounds so sexy.”
“It’s true, though. The way I react to you when I see you, when I know I can have you, is like some instinctive, primal response.
I want to wreck you. But then I see you, all fucked out and satisfied, and I just want to hold you, to take care of you,” I admit, processing what I’m saying as the words leave my mouth.
I know it’s true, even as I’m figuring it out.
“I want you to do both.” Sun presses himself tighter against me, if that’s even possible. “I hope you feel that way about me forever. I know that’s a long time. Is it too long? Is that too much?”
I tilt my head to drop a kiss on his beauty mark, a habit for me now.
“No. It’s not. It’s just the right amount,” I assure him, shifting a bit so we can look at each other a little better.
“I never thought I’d have anything like this.
I wasn’t looking for a serious relationship.
Hell, I wasn’t even looking for a relationship at all.
Eventually I might have. Any thought I ever gave to it was an abstract future concept.
At some point, I would have found a nice woman to marry, and we might have had a nice life with each other. ”
He scrunches his nose at the suggestion of me marrying a woman. “I think I’ve proven that you can wife me up just as well as any woman.”
“Where did you find that apron, anyway?” I ask.
Sun gives me a devious smirk. “The prop room at Task Force.”
“I’m going to pretend I didn’t hear that,” I laugh.
He holds a finger to his lips and winks. “Our little secret.”
“When I think about it now, me and some girl, I can’t even imagine it,” I confess.
Not with the way I feel about him. “I don’t think I would have been happy.
I might have worked too much and found excuses to stay out longer and been jealous of Jase and Nikko and what they have for reasons I didn’t understand.
But instead, I’m in bed with a beautiful boy who showed me a whole new life I never imagined.
And I want this—want him—for as long as he wants to be with me. ”
“I keep telling you, forever. Always. ‘Til the end of everything and then some,” Sun whispers the words against my lips before he kisses me with a frantic urgency that feels like he’s trying to show me how deeply he means what he says. “I’d give anything to have that.”
“You don’t have to give anything for it; you can just have me.
You already do.” I hold his face between my hands, and he’s so stunning as he looks back at me that it makes me a little breathless again.
“I don’t think you understand how lucky I feel that of all the people in the world, you chose me somehow.
Being with you feels like the universe gave me a gift that I don’t know what I did to deserve. ”
Sun giggles, his smile so sweet and fond it’s almost physically painful. “It’s fate. This is our 8,000th lifetime of knowing each other, so we finally get to be together.”
I would have scoffed at anyone else saying it, that inyeon had brought us to each other after near-infinite almosts in past lives.
With him, I actually love the idea, but I’ll still joke about it.
“Why 8,000, though? That’s so many reincarnations.
Surely we could have gotten it right in fewer than that. ”
“It’s romantic!” he protests with a scowl. “Go back to being sweet.”
“I’m always sweet.” I slip my hands down, around to the back of his neck, and pull him in for another kiss—slower, less urgent, because I want to savor him.
When he breaks away to rest his forehead against mine, I tell him the truth.
“And you are rare and precious. A luxury not just anyone can have.”.
“Guess my stage name was chosen well then,” he murmurs, only a breath away from kissing me again.
I push him away a little, because I want him to pay attention, to really hear me.
“No, it’s not about that at all. Everything about you and everything about being with you feels indulgent, like I’m not entirely sure I’m allowed to enjoy something so much.
But then I have you here, in my bed, in my arms, and you’re all over me and all around me and.
..” I stop, a realization creeping over me.
I run a finger along the ridge of his nose. “You’re my luxury. My sachi.”
Sun looks back at me, less playful and much more intent. “You mean that?”
“Of course I do. I’ll never lie to you,” I swear. “I’m always going to be honest with you. We can’t have anything, any kind of relationship, if not. And I won’t do that to you.”
“Thank you,” he says softly, blinking in a way that makes me think he’s trying not to let tears fall. He glances at me, then away, suddenly shy, but brings his gaze back to meet mine. “Will you call me that?”
“Sachi?” I ask, and he nods. I grin. “I was already planning on it, sachi.”
In that moment, I think he is luminous, lit up brighter than the afternoon sky on a beautiful, cloudless day. He tries to hide his blush by burying his face in the crook of my neck, but I can still feel his smile against my skin.
A luxury.