Chapter 11
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LUX
“Sachi? I’m home,” Kija calls, even though he’s looking right at me.
I climb off the couch, kicking off the blanket I’d had covering my legs while I was reading and toss my book aside.
As I move, I can see his eyes immediately focus on my bare thighs, the hem of the light blue sweater that I borrowed from his closet brushing just low enough to cover everything else I’m not wearing.
“You look happy,” I remark as I step into his open arms.
“I am,” he says, kissing me soft and sweet. “I got to come home to you.” Another kiss, a little harder, sends a tingle down my spine. “And even better, no more Chaeji. I’m done with her.”
“What?” I yelp, temporarily distracted from the way his fingers are gripping my hips by the best news I could have hoped to hear tonight. I knew their agreed-upon number of dates was shrinking, but this is unexpected. “It’s over? For real? She’s out of your life?”
“Out of our lives,” he corrects, hands sliding around to cup my ass, and I’m rewarded with a gasp of surprise when he realizes the shirt is the only thing I’ve got on. “Sun…”
“Hmmm?” I bat my eyes at him, biting my lip.
“You’re… You just... The couch.” He can’t seem to put a whole sentence together as he gathers the material, bunching it up under my armpits so everything from my nipples down is exposed. “Fuck. So beautiful. All mine.”
I’m half-hard already, his words and the heat of his gaze making my cock fill fast. He pushes his knee in between my thighs, and the hint of friction makes me moan and rut up against him looking for more. “Yours,” I swear, breathless.
“What do you need?” Kija asks, his arm wrapping around my waist to hold me close and keep me balanced.
My brain feels fuzzy when he flexes his quad muscle underneath me as I push up against him.
It’s so simple, but it’s so good. We skipped over so many of these kinds of things, all the ways to take pleasure from each other, because I was so desperate to know what it was like to have him inside me.
I grasp his bicep, panting, “This? Can I do this?”
“Anything you want,” he tells me, voice low and rough, adjusting his stance to stay steady as I rock back and forth. “Always, anything.”
“Yes. Give me everything, want it all,” I say, syllables all smashed together in my eagerness. “Want everything from you.”
The texture of his pants is just right for me to slide easily, pre-cum smearing the dark fabric as I ride his thigh.
My whole body is shaking already, chasing an orgasm that is building quickly.
Doing this right here, in the middle of his living room, with all the windows and lights on, feels dirty, and I love it.
The thrill of knowing he’s all mine and I can have him like this when I want him is so fucking hot it’s almost enough to unravel me.
I swivel my hips slower, almost like I’m dancing, and the ripple of ecstasy is like a drug.
“Sun,” Kija growls, two fingers under my chin to make me look up at him. “Spit.”
I immediately do as he asks, that one command making my knees buckle. The second I feel his fingers, slipping wet around my hole, just dipping inside, I cry out in surprise, coming across my stomach and splattering onto Kija’s button down. “Oh my god.”
He catches me as I wobble, legs still quivering, then scoops me up to whisk me into his bedroom.
I’m expecting him to throw me on the mattress, but he passes it by, going straight into the bathroom.
Setting my bare ass down on the vanity, he yanks the sweater off me and tosses it out the door.
He makes room between my thighs, spreading them further apart as he kisses me fiercely.
I wrap my arms around his neck, giving back just as eagerly.
He doesn’t even fully pause for breath as he undoes some of the buttons on his own shirt and pulls it off, a couple of them skittering across the floor from his frantic fumbling.
It’s such a turn-on that he won’t stop kissing me long enough to get his clothes off, like the newfound sense of freedom is making him wild.
Somehow he manages to get out of his pants and underwear, still without breaking the kiss, letting them drop where he stands before stepping aside. My hands automatically slide along his chest, until my fingers can curl around his cock and give him a few dry strokes.
Kija groans, pulling me with him as he moves toward the shower and turns the water on, nipping along my jawline and at my earlobe as we wait for the steam to start rising.
As soon as he decides it’s warm enough, he picks me up again, just enough to set me under the spray, soaking me for a moment before he backs me up against the tile wall to kiss me more.
I love when he manhandles me like this—puts me where he wants me, takes what he needs from me.
I want him to wreck me, mark me, and claim me in every possible way.
I’ll beg if I have to. Reaching for his cock as he bites at my lower lip, I don’t even get to touch him before he knocks my hand away, his own taking my place.
“No. No, don’t do that. Let me,” I plead.
I’d do anything—let him take me just like this, with the bare minimum prep—but I know he’d resist.
“Fuck my thighs, Kija. Use me. Make yourself come.”
He curses, voice raspy, as he spins me around, one hand at my waist and the other at my neck. His cock, hot and so hard, bobs against my asscheeks, then he pushes forward until he’s nudging my balls, and we both moan.
I squeeze my legs together, tight around him, while loosely jerking my cock to give him a wet, easy glide without anything in his way.
The slap of his hips against me and the sound of his heavy breathing in my ear over the shower spray are so erotic I’m sure I’m going to be able to come again.
When he presses his chest to my back, gripping me tighter to hold me right where he needs me, I feel it rushing over me, the tingles that seem to start at my toes and take over my whole body.
Shaking in his hold, the motion of my hand falters with the groan of my name that leaves his lips just before he nips at the nape of my neck.
We fall apart, one right after the other, with ragged gasps.
The pearly evidence mixing together as it washes away is strangely sexy, I think.
Kija turns me around again, brushing my wet hair out of my face, before leaning in to capture my lips in a languid kiss.
“You’re incredible. Perfect.” he says, stepping back for air.
“The whole drive home, all I could think about was you. I wanted you to be here so I could walk right in and hug you. To see you smile at me. Hear that little noise you always make the first time I kiss you when we’ve been apart… ”
I cut him off with another kiss before my heart actually somersaults out of my chest, unable to contain everything I feel for him. He says things that overwhelm me in the best kind of way. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, sachi,” he says, turning off the water. “I was thinking we’d get in here and clean up. I’m not really sure we accomplished that, but we can try again later. Kinda just want to go lie down with you.”
“Yes, please,” I agree. Next to him is my favorite place to be. I will never turn down an opportunity to snuggle up close to him, warm and content.
He grabs a fluffy towel and dries me off, wrapping it around me when he’s finished, then doing the same to himself.
“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you tonight was break-up night earlier,” he apologizes as he drapes himself over me and walks us both toward the bed.
“No, I’m glad you didn’t tell me. I’d have been going crazy waiting if I had known,” I admit. “You’d have had to peel me off the ceiling or something, I’d have been so anxious. This way I just got to have a chill evening and enjoy my book.”
I wait as he whips off his towel and then mine, giving my hair an extra ruffle before crashing on the mattress and bringing me with him.
We intertwine right away, fitting together so well I’ll never believe there could have been anyone else for me.
I cuddle into him, my head on his chest and his arm around me, fingertips tracing along my spine. This is heaven, I swear.
“Is it weird that this feels like the beginning again?” I ask. “Like we’re free and really get to start now?”
“No, I was thinking the same thing,” he answers. “When I walked away from her, I had to fight not to smile. I was supposed to be upset because we’d just broken up, but I couldn’t help it. I was so relieved I could have skipped out of there.”
I giggle at the idea of him skipping; I just can’t picture it. “What happened? Was it super dramatic?”
“Honestly, it was kind of anti-climactic,” he says, surprising me.
“I thought there would be tears and she’d throw a glass of wine at me or something big and unnecessary.
But it wasn’t like that at all. We got there at about the same time, walked into the bar area of the restaurant together and had a chat—in full view of the incredibly unsubtle photographer she’d tipped off—and it was perfectly pleasant.
She set down her glass and took this very elegant breath and said, ‘Kija, I think you are wonderful, but I need to focus on my career. You’ve been the perfect boyfriend, and I’ll always have affection for you and wish you well.
’ I was so surprised my mouth was literally hanging open, then she grabbed her little purse, kissed my cheek and left. ”
“That’s it?” I shout, far louder than I mean to be, but I can’t believe it was that easy. “Seriously? That’s all?”
Kija laughs. “I know. I guess she realized it doesn’t matter now. She got what she wanted, and the pictures were already gone, so she was over it. Time to move on.”
“Wow. Okay.” I settle back down, still amazed. But I have questions. About where we go from here, about us. “Now what?”
“We’re together. The same, but better. We’re in love. We still have to be careful, but we’ll always have to be careful. You’ll stay here whenever you can get away, and we’ll figure it out,” he tells me. “I know it won’t be easy, but I also know you’re worth it.”
“Kija,” I whine because sometimes he just makes me want to cry with how sweet he is.
I shift, so I can look up at him and make eye contact because I need him to know something.
Before we get too comfortable, I have to make sure I say what I need to.
“I know you did everything with her because of me, to protect me. And I don’t think anyone has ever loved me like that before.
The fans love me, and the members love me, but this is more than that.
And I promise I’ll do everything I can to show you that same kind of love. ”
“You already do.” He smiles, presses a kiss to the top of my head. “I’d do it all again if I had to. I’d do anything I had to for you or to keep you from getting hurt somehow.”
“I never really worried about it,” I confess. “Even if the pictures would have gotten out. I’m not ashamed of who I am. And I’m proud of being with you. If I weren’t part of RYSING, I’d be out and loud as fuck. But for now, I have to keep it all to myself.”
Kija is quiet, but I can tell he’s listening intently, like he always does when I’m speaking.
So I continue. “Nikko and I have talked about it before, how different our lives would look if we hadn’t become idols.
He says he’s content to stay on the down low with Jase, even if he wasn’t famous.
I wouldn’t want that, though. I want to get married.
I want to have kids. Maybe by the time RYSING is finished, it will be more of a possibility.
” I draw doodles and lines across his pec, up to his collarbone and back down.
“What about you? Do you want any of those things?”
He chuckles a little. “My mom has always wanted all of that for me. But I never even really thought about it. I figured if anything was supposed to happen, it would. Or maybe I just wasn’t that guy.
” Reaching to cup my face, his thumb sweeps over my cheek.
“But now? With you? Yes, I want those things. All of them. Very much.”
Rearranging myself again so I can straddle his waist, I lean over to kiss him, hoping I can somehow express everything I feel in this moment with my lips on his.
I’m so happy I could cry, do cartwheels, and kick my feet.
His hand slips around to the back of my head, fingers tangling in my hair, holding me steady as he returns every bit of the passion simmering in my veins.
I have everything I have ever hoped for, in this moment.
This could be it, for the rest of my life.
Our life.