Chapter Twenty-Six
chapter twenty-six
PAIGE
“What are you doing?”
I glance up at Nate. “Nothing.”
“Really?” He chuckles. “Because it looks like I stepped away for ten minutes to make a call and you decided to bag up all of your heels when you’re supposed to be resting.”
“Huh…don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I throw my favorite pair of Jimmy Choos into the bag— It’s been a good run. Sorry to see you go —but before I can grab my Louboutins, Nate snatches the bag away from me.
“Paige, stop,” he says gently. “You’re supposed to be resting, and this is the opposite of that.”
“I’ve been resting for days,” I whine. “And I’m sitting on the floor, which is considered resting.” I pout, knowing full well I sound like a baby.
Nate tries to hide his smirk, but I catch it and glare his way.
“I just need to finish packing up this bag to donate, and then I’ll rest.”
Aside from going to my doctor’s appointment the day after I was discharged, Nate has insisted I stay in bed while he waits on me hand and foot, refusing to let me do anything that might cause me stress—including sex.
I learned that the hard way the second night he slept in bed with me and I tried to make a move. He gently took my hands, kissed my knuckles, and told me it wasn’t that he didn’t want to, but he wanted to talk about us, as well as make sure I was no longer sore before we did anything.
I pouted my best pout, but he wouldn’t budge, threatening to sleep on the couch if I couldn’t behave myself.
“You’re not donating all your heels,” he says. “You were scared, and I get it, but you and the baby are okay. When the dust settles, you’re going to regret getting rid of all those sexy heels when you’re stuck with only your running shoes and flats.”
“Fine.” I huff, standing with his help, and walk out of my walk-in closet. “But I’m at least getting rid of the pair I was wearing when I fell.”
“What do you say we take a little trip?” Nate drops the bag into my closet and closes the door.
“Where?”
Since It’s Friday and I’m off until Monday, we could go somewhere, but it can’t be too far…
“I was thinking?—”
My phone goes off, and when I see it’s my dad, I click Ignore. “Go ahead.”
Nate’s brows furrow. “Whose call did you just decline?”
“My dad.” I shrug.
“You should answer it.”
“It’s going to be awkward. It’s always awkward. And I’m supposed to be resting.”
Nate chuckles. “Way to twist the doctor’s words, but seriously, Paige.” He steps into my space and drops his hands onto my hips. “Maybe it’s time to talk to him. You’re going to be a parent in a few months. What if our son overheard something and he didn’t give you the chance to explain?”
“Really?” I groan. “And you talked about me twisting the doctor’s words?” When he simply raises a brow, I sigh. “Okay, fine. But, umm…” I swallow nervously. “Will you stay here with me?”
“There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
When I call my dad back, he answers on the first ring.
“Paige, are you okay?”
His words shock me.
“Umm, yeah…” I say, walking out to the living room and sitting on the couch.
“I was worried. I called you several times, and you didn’t answer.”
I don’t know if it’s the sound of genuine concern in his tone or the fact that I’ve already decided to talk to him about what I overheard, but instead of answering, I blurt out, “Why?”
“Why what?” he asks.
“Why were you worried?”
“What do you mean? You’re my daughter, and you’re pregnant. Of course I’m going to worry.”
“But why?” I choke out. “Why do you care? You didn’t even want me, so I don’t understand why you waste your time worrying about me as if you give a shit.”
“What the hell are you talking about, Paige?”
“I heard you,” I admit. “All those years ago, when you didn’t think I was home, you told Mom you never wanted me. I heard you. You told her that you never wanted me…that you never wanted a family, and the only reason why I was born was because she wanted me!”
I choke out a sob, and Nate pulls me into his comforting arms.
“I just don’t understand why you care,” I continue. “I thought you’d be relieved that I moved away and never came back, yet you keep calling me every month like clockwork, as if you actually care.”
When I stop speaking, I feel the weight lift off my shoulders from the many years of holding on to this information. I probably shouldn’t have spilled it all out like that, but I doubt there’s a good or proper way to bring up the subject.
The other side of the line is quiet for so long that I pull my phone away from my ear to make sure the call hasn’t dropped .
And then my dad speaks…
“Oh, Paige,” he murmurs. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“Does it matter? You said what you said, and I heard.”
“Of course it matters,” he chokes out, emotion seeping through each word. “It matters because that was over fifteen years ago, and this entire time, you thought I didn’t want you when that’s the furthest thing from the truth. Oh my God,” he sobs, making my body tense up because I wasn’t expecting that kind of reaction from him.
I thought he’d be shocked, maybe embarrassed, but I didn’t think he’d be…upset.
“I didn’t know,” he says. “I didn’t understand why you’d pushed me away. I thought it was because you were grieving your mother’s death, and then I moved us out of London, which I knew you were upset about. But now, it all makes sense.”
“I was grieving Mom, and I was mad that you’d moved us,” I tell him. “But I was also upset that you didn’t want me. I know Mom and I were closer because you traveled a lot for work, but I thought we had our own special relationship. But then you told her you never wanted me, never wanted a family, and?—”
“I didn’t mean it,” he says, his words making me dizzy.
I take a deep breath, confused because I know what I heard. “What do you mean, you didn’t mean it? Why would you say something like that if you didn’t mean it?”
Nate tightens his hold around me, silently reminding me that he’s here.
“I didn’t know you were home,” Dad says. “I was mad at your mother. She had just told me she was stopping the treatments, and I was terrified I was going to lose her. So, I said things I didn’t mean in hopes that she would change her mind. Her biggest fear was leaving you, so I used it against her. I’m so sorry, Paige. You have to know that I didn’t mean it. I love you. You and your mother were my entire world. How could I not love and want you? You are the best parts of your mom and me.”
He sobs through the phone, and a lump of emotion fills my throat.
“But you said…”
Oh God. I got it all wrong.
“I apologized to your mom that night,” he says. “I told her I was sorry and that I didn’t mean it. She, of course, knew that I hadn’t. But I didn’t know… fuck , Paige. All these years, you thought I didn’t want you. It’s why you moved away and never came home, isn’t it? I should’ve known something was wrong. I should’ve forced you to talk to me. Debbie told me so many times to talk to you, to ask if I did something wrong, but I’ve never been the best at communicating. That’s no excuse though. I’m your father, and I should’ve pushed…”
“It takes two,” I tell him as tears drip down my cheeks. “I was hurt. And then you met Debbie and started this whole new life with her, and I didn’t understand why you wanted Kristin and Ashleigh and not me. I should’ve talked to you. I shouldn’t have let it go on this long.”
“I swear I have always wanted you,” Dad says. “When your mom first died, it was hard because you looked so much like her and had the same mannerisms, and I missed her like crazy. I knew you were upset with me for moving, but it felt like everywhere and everything was filled with your mom, and it was just so damn hard.”
I release a soft sob because I get it. As much as I love London, it’s not the same without her.
“I knew it was cowardly to move us away,” he continues, “and I knew you were upset. But I didn’t know what you had overheard. If I had, I would’ve done everything in my power to show you how much I love you. Damn it!” he barks. “Your mom left this world, thinking you would have me, and I failed you.”
“No, Dad,” I sob. “You didn’t fail me. I should’ve asked, but I was too scared of hearing you admit it. Which was stupid because I went years without seeing you. Years we can never get back. I’m so sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Dad says. “I’m just glad that you finally told me. I miss you, honey. Please tell me I can see you. I want a relationship with you, one with more than monthly phone calls.”
“I want that too,” I tell him. “I want to see you and get to know Debbie and my sisters. ”
“They’re going to be so excited, Paige. They ask about you all the time. I know you’re pregnant, so maybe we can come to you.”
“I would love that.”
“Good. Now, tell me everything. Tell me about your job and your life and how your pregnancy is going. I want to know everything you’ve left out all these years.”
For the next couple of hours, I tell my dad everything, starting with my time in college and ending with Nate. We laugh and cry, and it isn’t until my stomach starts to rumble in hunger that I tell him I’ll call him soon.
When I hang up, I go in search of Nate since he left earlier to give me some privacy. I find him sitting on the bed, back against the headboard, typing on his phone.
When he hears me come in, he sets his phone on the nightstand and gives me his full attention. Something he always does when he’s with me.
“That sounded like it went well,” he says as I pad over to him.
“It did. But it never should’ve happened. I should’ve spoken to him fifteen years ago, when I overheard him. All those years wasted because of my pride and fear.”
I climb into Nate’s lap, situating myself so my knees are on either side of him, my soft belly lightly bumping against his. He wraps his arms around my waist and looks into my eyes, and my heart squeezes in my chest.
“I made a huge mistake with my dad,” I tell him. “And I don’t want to make that mistake with you.” When he quirks a brow, I explain, “I don’t know what the future holds, and everything with us has happened out of order.”
I choke out a laugh, and he shrugs.
“But what I do know is that I fell for you in England, and I’ve only fallen harder since you found me. I was scared to let you in. First because I’ve been burned on more than one occasion when it comes to letting people in. And then because I felt guilty. I mean, why should you have to uproot your entire life because of me?”
“Because one of us has to,” he murmurs, palming my cheek. “And I’m okay with it being me. Your home, your life, and your job are not any less important than mine. I love you, and I want a life with you and our little guy.” He glides his hand down to my belly and presses his palm against it tenderly.
“I want that too,” I tell him, hating that I can’t tell him that I love him yet. I want to—I can feel it—but I’m still so scared. “I want to see where things go between us. We still have plenty of time before the baby comes, and I want to spend that time with you, getting to know you—and not just as the father of my baby, but as more than that. Is that okay?” I ask. “I know it’s not what?—”
“Stop,” Nate says softly, refusing to let me finish. “That’s more than okay. You need to take things slow, and I get it. I’ve been hurt too. But my wounds have since healed, and that’s partly because of you. But yours are newer, fresher, and it’s going to take time. And it just so happens I have plenty of time.”
“Thank you,” I mutter, sighing in relief that he understands.
I want to have it all with him. The family, the home, the love…but I need to take things one day at a time so I don’t feel like we’re rushing into things. The last thing I want is to go all in and Nate regret it and then be forced to break my heart.
“I’d do anything for you,” he says, cupping my face with his strong hands.
His lips capture mine, and the kiss starts off gentle with the silent promise of a fresh start. But then his tongue slides into my mouth, and I’m overtaken with lust and want and need.
Without breaking the kiss, Nate lifts me off his lap and carefully lays me onto my back, then lifts my shirt over my head, exposing my simple black bra and boy shorts.
“Do you know how sexy you look like this?” he says as he kisses the swells of my breasts. “They were perfect before, but now…fuck,” he now out. “I just want to lick and suck them for hours.”
Pulling one cup down and then the other, he gives each nipple a gentle lick before he sucks one into his mouth, drawing a moan from me.
After he’s given them both enough attention that I’m damn near coming from nipple stimulation alone, he moves on, kissing his way down my torso.
“Every time I see your stomach, it’s grown a little more.” He smiles warmly up at me and then gives my bump a soft kiss, making my thighs clench. “I think we should take a picture…for the scrapbook.”
He sits up on his haunches and pulls his phone out, aiming it at me. With my body changing and my clothes no longer fitting, I’ve been feeling a bit self-conscious. But then Nate looks at me the way he does, and I can’t help but feel sexy.
“You know this can’t go into my scrapbook, right?” I say with a laugh when the click of his camera goes off.
“Oh, I know. But I think I’m going to start one of my own.” He glances at me and waggles his brows. “It will be for our eyes only. A scrapbook of you growing my baby.”
He takes a few more pictures of me and then pockets his phone.
“I love you like this,” he says, gliding his hand over my belly. “As a matter of fact, I might have to keep you like this.” His eyes twinkle with mirth and heat. “How many babies do you want?”
“I don’t know,” I breathe. “Maybe two or three.”
My thoughts go to Nate reading our son a story, rocking him to sleep. They move to us having a little girl with his whiskey-colored eyes and playful smile. Nate playing dress-up with her. Taking them to soccer or dance. Birthday parties and holidays. Family vacations.
Five months ago, I couldn’t even imagine having a family, but now, I can see it all with Nate.
“That sounds like a good number,” he says, sliding his hand over my belly again as his gaze descends.
When he reaches the waistband of my panties, he tugs them down my legs and tosses them to the side so he can situate himself between my thighs.
“This is new,” he says, tugging on my pubic hair.
I usually keep it neatly trimmed, but with my belly getting bigger…
“It’s getting a little harder to see what’s down there,” I mutter, my face and neck warming in embarrassment.
“I like it,” he says, spreading my lips and running the tip of his finger up and down my center. “But if you ever need help, I would be more than happy to volunteer my services.”
“I’ll think about it,” I whisper, so turned on that I’m going to implode if Nate doesn’t get me off soon. “But right now, I just really need you to make me come.”
“Your wish is my command.”
And with those words, he slides down the bed so he’s eye level with my most intimate parts and gets straight to devouring me.
If the way he expertly licks and sucks on my clit weren’t enough to bring me straight to the precipice, his moans of pleasure, as if he’s the one being pleased instead of me, would have me dangling over the edge.
“I’m so close,” I breathe, wanting the pleasure to continue forever and to come at the same time.
Nobody knows my body the way Nate does, and it’s made me realize that it’s not about how long you’re with someone. It’s about caring enough to actually get to know the person you’re with. And Nate cares a lot.
“Fuck, you taste so good,” he murmurs as he reaches up and tweaks my nipple.
When his tongue leaves my clit, the impending orgasm disappears, and I pout down at him, making him laugh.
“I was almost there.”
“I know, Princess. But the second you come, you’re going to push me away, and I haven’t had my fill of you yet.”
I laugh, knowing he’s right. But in my defense, when I come, my body gets so sensitive.
Nate goes back to massaging my clit with his tongue, and between his perfect strokes and pinching my nipples, it doesn’t take long for the most intense orgasm to overtake me. I come so hard that my entire body shakes as blackness speckles my vision and the world around me becomes fuzzy.
When I come to, Nate is staring at me with a soft, smug smile on his face.
“What?” I mutter.
“I love watching you come,” he says simply.
“Good. Now, get up here and fuck me so I can come again.”
He barks out a laugh. “Anything for you,” he says, leaning over and kissing me.
Tasting myself on his lips has me deepening the kiss. There’s just something about knowing he was down there, licking and sucking my juices—and not because I asked him to, but because he wanted to—that’s a turn-on in itself.
Without breaking our kiss, Nate guides himself into me. I’m wet, so he slides right in, filling me like my pussy was made just for him.
“So goddamn perfect,” he murmurs against my lips.
I wrap my legs around him, and he takes that as his cue to start to move. He feels so good inside of me. It only takes a few strokes before I start to feel the stirrings of another orgasm.
“You feel that?” Nate asks as he languidly pushes in and out of me, stopping each time he bottoms out for several seconds before pulling back and then thrusting back in.
“Feel what?”
“Me inside of you…”
“It feels good,” I moan.
“Of course it does.” He licks the seam of my lips. “Because your body was made for me, and if I have it my way, I’m going to spend the rest of my life inside you.”
His mouth captures mine, and while no more words are spoken, Nate shows me just how much he loves our bodies together as he makes love to me until we’re both moaning each other’s name when we find our orgasms.
When he pulls out, instead of lying next to me to catch his breath, he picks me up, bridal-style, and walks us into my bathroom, setting me on the counter so he can turn the water on. Then, he lifts me into the shower and sets me on my feet, where he insists on cleaning me head to toe while I stand there and enjoy the way he takes care of me.
“I want to go away with you,” he says once we’re both out of the shower and in towels. “Being away from you felt like hell. And then with the scare…I just want to spend some time with you.”
I wrap my arms around his neck, my heart pounding in my chest because I’ve never felt as loved and cherished as I do with Nate. He has a million things going on, yet all he wants is to spend time with me.
“I would love that.”