Chapter 16 #2
I hug my last well-wisher and pull back to see what has gotten everyone's attention.
The collective hush only showcases their arrival more.
The Wilde boys are always a sight to see, but all six of them dressed in dark suits and ties, led by none other than their infamous father, Finnegan Wilde, is a sight that none of us will ever forget.
And their expressions show true grief, even Finn.
Nana had many scuffles with Finn, mostly because he was such an inconsistent, untrustworthy father.
She was never afraid of him, and that courage earned his respect.
Nana was the one person who could let Finnegan Wilde know her opinion, and he'd take it to heart.
I don't realize I'm avoiding looking at one Wilde in particular until I finally allow my gaze to land on him.
My throat tightens so much I can't swallow.
Zander looks as if someone has sucked the life from him.
His normally broad shoulders are hunched, and his head hangs down as if someone is pushing it from behind.
Kinsley discreetly takes hold of my hand. "I heard rumor they were coming, but I wasn't expecting all of them. Oh my god, Nev," she whispers. "Zander."
I nod and still find that swallowing is impossible.
Nana came to all the boys' rescue at one time or another, whether it was first aid or help with homework, but Zander was her favorite.
He spent a lot of time at our house, either hiding from his dad or healing or looking for shelter after his dad kicked him out.
They had a special bond, and if Nana ever had any doubts about whether her special attention to Zander meant anything to him, it's clear as day in his expression and the way he's carrying himself.
Finnegan is holding a bouquet of yellow roses.
It's strange to see such a volatile, unpredictable and occasionally dangerous man holding a cluster of flowers.
The other mourners part as if Moses is walking through the Red Sea.
Finn stops at the framed photo of Nana. A few words leave his mouth, but they're for Nana's ears only.
Kinsley and I make our way over to the brothers.
We all grew up together, and we're all still friends.
I know Kinsley is missing her best friend, Indi, but she's working for a high-powered talent agent who wouldn't give her the time off for a funeral.
I tried to convince Kinsley that she would have come otherwise, but my sister is hurt by her absence nonetheless.
Jameson is the first to step forward and give us both hugs. "Nev," he says. "This town won't be the same without her."
I nod and fight back tears. The other brothers line up for hugs.
Nate knew her the least, mostly because he had more support from his real mother, Stevie, but even he is shaken to the core.
I save Zander for last because I'm not sure I'll be able to hold myself together when I come face-to-face with him.
Zander has peeled himself off from the others.
He's standing under the long, thick branches of a tree looking like a lost little boy.
I take a deep breath and walk over to him.
He lifts his blue eyes. Wilde boys don't cry.
At least I'd never seen a tear from any of them, but Zander looks as close to it as I've ever seen.
I open my mouth to speak, to thank them for coming, but I don't get past the first syllable before he pulls me into his arms. We hold each other tightly and for so long, it seems neither of us will let go first. The first thing I notice, even through my hurricane of grief, is how right it feels to be standing in his arms. His embrace helps relieve some of the pain I'm feeling, and I hope having me in his arms does the same for him.
His strength, his warmth, his incredible power surrounds me, and all I can think is that I feel protected standing in his arms, as if nothing, not even my despair, can hurt me.
Neither of us want to be the first to let go, so we manage a sort of mutual release. Instantly, I feel sadder and less stable than I did in his arms. My throat is still painfully tight and dry, but I manage to get a few words out. "Thanks for coming. It means a lot."
Zander glances around at the crowd. "Looks like the whole town came." He looks back at me, and I fight the urge to throw myself back into his arms. "I'm sorry I didn't call or text. To be honest, I was having a helluva time believing she was gone. I didn't want to believe it."
The truth is I was hurt that he hadn't called. I hadn't heard from him at all until right now.
"I still don't want to believe it," I say. "Guess we're going to have to count on each other to keep ourselves out of trouble now," I say with a chuckle.
"I guess so, and since you are such a hard-ass troublemaker, Nevada Mason, I've got my work cut out."
We laugh quietly, and in that moment, I realize, aside from Nana and Kinsley, Zander has always been the most significant person in my life.
"I should mingle," I say. "Thanks again for coming." I turn to leave. He takes my hand and holds it for a few seconds before releasing it. I walk away with that same huge lump in my throat.