Chapter 16 Sloane
Sloane
The feel-up session with Eden seems like a lifetime ago. Becca was indeed in my room bawling when I got home. She was almost inconsolable. I thought for a second someone had died.
No one was dead, but Becca confirmed my suspicions regarding her and Bella.
They’d been hooking up since the party. Becca wasn’t having a gay crisis or anything, in fact she’d already come out to her mum as bisexual.
Admittedly, I had a minute of irritation that she hadn’t come to me, but at the end of the day she didn’t and doesn’t owe me her coming out.
Anyway. Her tears were because Bella received an early acceptance to MIT. Becca and Bella will be thousands of miles apart next September. It took several hours of ice cream, Doritos, and a box of tissues before she finally calmed down.
Becca, being Becca, hadn’t wanted to break down in front of Bella in case it made her feel bad about leaving.
I didn’t realize how close they’d gotten.
Becca is absolutely smitten. Apparently, they have a connection that renders all her other relationships null and void.
We stayed up until the early hours talking.
It felt good to air my worries about college, too.
We’re all in the same boat, and it sucks.
I was looking forward to senior year, and it’s started off great, but now I know the ending is going to be heartbreaking.
Not just for me, but for all my friends.
Even if I hadn’t started dating Eden, my conversation with Becca has made it clear we are all going to lose something precious: each other.
Becca, my squad, now Eden and her crew, are special.
They’re a part of my life and in a few short months, they’ll be gone. Scattered all over the country.
It was a sobering conversation. I’ll admit it made me question my decision to date Eden.
For a moment I wondered if the next few months would be worth the awfulness of leaving her, but then I pictured her face, and I know there is no other choice.
I’ve felt a pull towards her for years. I’d end up regretting it more if I didn’t experience being with her at all.
We also have the option of long distance. It’s too early to know if we’re up to the strains of that, but I can’t rule it out. She’s already such an important part of my life.
Eden’s mom told us to be in the here and now, and she’s right. If I spend my time panicking about the future, I’m going to miss out on precious time with my people.
Speaking of my people, Becca is looking much better this morning.
She stayed over and spent the night kicking me in the kidneys, but that’s fine.
We drove to school via our favorite coffee shop.
I was sad to cancel my morning walk with Eden, but I plan to make it up to her this evening.
Hopefully we can explore some more boundaries.
Bella is waiting in the parking lot when we arrive. Becca practically sprints out of the car to get to her. There’s no hiding it now. Half the student body is watching as Becca launches herself at the much shorter Bella.
I take it upon myself to break them up when their kiss turns way too hot for 8 a.m. They whisper to each other as we head inside. Hopefully Becca will tell Bella how she’s feeling. I intend to do that with Eden. I want all our cards on the table.
“Morning, babe,” Eden says as she steps up behind me and wraps her arms around my waist. I suddenly feel the urge to cry. It must be the emotional residue of talking with Becca.
Spinning in her arms, I descend on her lips.
The bell rings in the distance, but I’m not ready to let go.
The pressure of her tongue against mine leaves me breathless.
My hands snake up to her hair and scrape against her scalp.
One or both of us moan. Suddenly, being in the here and now with Eden is the only thing on my mind.
“Skip class with me,” I hear myself say. I’ve never skipped a class. Ever!
“W-where do you want to go?” she mumbles against my lips. Her hands have travelled south and are resting just above my ass. I want nothing more than for her to grab my butt.
“Follow me.”
There is a well-known spot behind the equipment shed where kids go to get freaky. I’ve never been there myself, so this is going to be a new adventure I can tick off my senior year bucket list.
We rush to the side of the building and out of view from any prying eyes. Breaking the rules is quite exhilarating. Eden hasn’t let her eyes drop from my body for a second as I drag her to our destination.
Rounding the equipment shed, we fall against each other and resume kissing. My back hits the wall and my leg lifts, hooking around her hip.
“God, Sloane, you drive me nuts.”
“I know the feeling,” I force out. “I can’t get enough of you. Please grab my ass.”
Eden pauses for a second but does as I ask. “Like this?”
Her hands drift down confidently, and she cups me completely before squeezing and drawing me ever closer. A very sensitive part of me is rubbing against her jeans.
“E-eden. That feels so good.” I’m hoping she gets my meaning. The stutter in my voice surely tells her I’m becoming excited to the point of no return.
“Does…does it count if we’re not naked? If I don’t touch you?”
Eden’s question makes me pause. Enough that I push her shoulders back slightly so I can look at her face clearly.
“Is this something you want?” I manage to pant out. “I don’t want you to do something you’re uncomfortable with or will regret, babe.”
She takes several deep breaths before answering, “I want this.”
Biting my lip, I give her an extra second to change her mind. She doesn’t. Her lips brush softly over my neck. My leg tightens over her hip.
With a couple of tentative rolls of her pelvis, I feel myself arrive right back where I was a few moments before. Close to tipping over the edge. I can’t believe we’re doing this.
As teeth scrape my skin, Eden’s breath picks up until it’s matching mine.
Her hands squeeze me harder. The zipper of her jeans presses against me at the perfect spot, and I’m helpless to stop the build.
Her hands haven’t even touched an inch of my skin, and yet it’s like I can feel them all over me.
I’m totally lost to the rhythm of our bodies. It’s happening.
“I…I’m…”
We definitely just crossed a boundary.
Her breath is heavy on my neck. I’m not sure how long we’ve been like this, clinging to each other. All I know is that I need a few more minutes to come down from that.
As far as dry humping goes, that was amazing. I’m pretty sure I saw stars.
My leg is still firmly around Eden. Our chests are pressed together tightly and I’m a little afraid to let her go. What we did was certainly in the heat of the moment. I just hope it was okay. That when Eden pulls back, it’s not with an ounce of regret.
She shifts her body, and I reluctantly ease my grip on her. The space between our heads gets wider, but Eden doesn’t fully pull away. Just enough that we can look into each other’s eyes.
“Was that okay?” she asks. Her voice is soft and tinged with concern. This woman is going to be the end of me, I swear it. How is she this lovely and sweet? I was worried she was going to be upset, and here she was, concerned about her performance.
“It was amazing,” I reply, daring to dip my head forward and steal a kiss. “Did you…”
Her cheeks tinge red. “No…I wanted to make sure you…um had fun.”
I want nothing more than to pull her into me again and grind against her until she feels what I felt, but the moment is over.
Eden’s eyes dip to my lips and back to my eyes. “Are you sure it was okay?”
“It was more than okay, babe.”
The moment turns a little awkward as I unhook my leg. Eden takes a small step back, her gaze never leaving my face. It’s then I realize she is just as worried as me. She’s checking to see if I regret it.
Cupping her face with both hands, I draw us back into a soft, slow make-out. With every press of her lips I feel the heat building in my chest. It’s not sexual. Okay some of it is, but mostly it’s something comforting. As if every kiss connects us just that bit more.
I knew Eden was special, I just didn’t realize how much until this very moment. That’s why I have to talk to her. What happened between Becca and Bella isn’t something I want for me and Eden.
Bringing our kiss to an end, I lean my forehead against hers and take a few fortifying breaths.
“Sloane?”
“We need to talk, babe.”
Eden’s eyes startle, and I could kick myself.
“Don’t panic.” Grabbing her hands, I guide us to the ground. We sit with our backs to the shed.
“I’m no expert, but the ‘we need to talk’ line doesn’t usually lead anywhere good,” she replies.
I huff and shake my head. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ruin the moment. Again.”
Eden shuffles until she is so close I’m practically on her lap. “Tell me.”
Running my hand through her hair and over her buzzed sides, I smile. “You’re so gorgeous.”
“And you’re a goddess. Now is that what you wanted to talk about?”
“Have you spoken to Bella?”
Eden crinkles her brow. “This isn’t where I thought the conversation was going, but I’ll play ball. No, I haven’t spoken to her. I planned to.”
Nodding, I entwine our fingers. “You should. The reason Becca was so upset yesterday was because Bella received an early acceptance for MIT. Which surprised me because I thought you guys were all about art.”
Eden leans her head against the shed as she looks at me. I’ve never had anyone look at me the way she does.
“Bella is talented in many things. I’m guessing Becca was upset because they’re a thing now?”
“Yeah. Officially since the party at Bryce’s.”
“Figured.”
“We need to talk about college, E. Tiptoeing around it would be a mistake, don’t you think?”
She sighs and takes a second to answer. “Yeah, we need to talk about it. How did you feel when you heard my school options?”
“Excited for you. Proud, scared. All of the above at the same time.” I laugh.
She smiles at me. “Yeah, ditto. Columbia and Harvard are fantastic choices. You’ll have no issue getting in.”
“Rhode Island and Harvard aren’t that far from each other.”
“They’re not. But Harvard and CalArts are. We need to be realistic, right?”
I hate that she’s right.
“So there is a real chance we’re going to be thousands of miles apart?”
“Yup.”
This is the part where we need to discuss our future.
Possibly make decisions that will affect the rest of senior year.
If Eden tells me she thinks we need to stop what we’re doing and try to stay in the friendzone, I might break.
We’ve been together officially for a week, and yet I already can’t imagine my life without her. I can’t go back.
Eden turns her body a little more until we’re completely facing one another.
“This might be too soon. I don’t want to scare you away.
But I’m in this, Sloane. If long distance is the only way to be with you, then so be it.
I want to keep building on this,” she says, pointing back and forth between us.
“It would be easier for both of us to say we’ll stop now.
Stay friends to avoid the inevitable. But I can’t do that, not with you. ”
Biting my lip, I force my tears back. “Yes. I want that. God, Eden, the thought of going back to how it was is awful. Now I get to kiss you. There’s no way we could be anything other than together, right?”
Her smile lights up her entire face. “Totally. We can’t let a pesky little detail like college stand in the way.”
I laugh. “So, long distance.”
“Long distance. But we’ve still got months before that. Plus we’ll have all of summer. We have time, Sloane.”
I know exactly what I want to do with that time.
“Are you sure I didn’t push you too far?”
Eden looks a little confused for a second before it dawns on her. “No. Not at all. I wanted that. Wanted to make you feel good.”
“You did. It’s the first time I’ve…with another person.” Oh god, I can feel my face going beet red.
The lazy smirk I know so well settles on her face. “Yeah?”
“Mmm hmm.”
“Maybe…we could, um, try that again, sometime?”
I want to add on the caveat of no clothes allowed, but I’ll take whatever Eden wants to give me.
“I think that sounds like an excellent idea.”
We stay silent, smiling at each other like idiots.
“Oh, hey,” she suddenly blurts. “I managed the one-minute intervals this morning.”
I love how there is no segue, and that she is genuinely proud of herself. I know I am. “Babe, that’s fantastic!”
“I was close to dying at the end, but I didn’t.”
“So dramatic.” I laugh.
She brushes some hair from my face. “I have a day off tomorrow, but I’d still like to walk with you in the morning.”
“Have you spoken to Jenna?” I’m partial to a random outburst too.
“Um no. Are you going to tell me what yesterday was all about?”
“Sorry, babe. I can’t. The rules of girl talk.”
Eden scoffs. “You’re my girlfriend!”
“And she’s your sister. But I would urge you to speak with her.”
“Jenna is likely to burn me alive if I approach her demon lair.”
“Eden. Talk to her, okay? Please?”
She regards me closely. “Is she okay? Do I need to be worried?”
“She’s fourteen and hormonal, everyone should be worried.” I laugh. “But there’s a little more to it than that. I just think some time and understanding from her big sister would mean a lot.”
“How the hell did this happen?” Eden scoffs. “Jen hasn’t had a single attitude-free conversation in months.”
I shrug and polish my nails on my shirt. “I’m just that good.”
Eden’s expression changes, and I instantly feel the air between us change.
“Yeah, you are,” she murmurs. Her lips are on mine in an instant.
The noise of students rushing to their next class reaches my ears as we kiss. We’re going to be late for second period if we continue. I’m surprisingly okay with that.