Chapter 15
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
claire
Rowan rubs his eyes again as he climbs into the passenger seat of my Bronco. “I think you’re gonna want to take a left—”
“I know where Coach Reed’s place is,” I cut him off to say. “I may not have grown up in Camellia, but I’ve lived here long enough.”
“Right,” he replies and sighs wearily. He’s quiet for a minute, allowing the tension to grow until I reach out to raise the volume on the nasally country song playing on the radio.
Rowan clears his throat. “This isn’t exactly what I expected, but I should have guessed you were a restored-vehicle kind of girl.”
“I can’t believe you took me for a girl at all,” I retort sarcastically.
“Sorry. I didn’t take you as the kind of lady who would drive an old, jacked-up Bronco, but it suits you,” he corrects himself, and the fact that he made it a point to call me a “lady” in lieu of a “woman” makes the corner of my mouth turn up.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t peg you as the type to buck authority,” I tell him.
He scrunches up his nose, looking sheepish. “I’m not. But it’s been a long day. And like I said before, I haven’t really been feeling like myself lately.”
“So what’s your excuse for driving a truck that’s at least a decade old?” I ask after a while.
He shrugs. “I like my truck. It’s reliable, and it gets me where I need to go. Why would I trade it in if it still serves its purpose?”
“Because you’re a doctor and you can afford something nicer?”
“Seems like a waste when this one isn’t even all that old. Toyotas are usually good for over three-hundred-thousand miles, you know,” he says, frowning.
“Wouldn’t you rather a newer model with more creature comforts?”
“Comfort is a gateway drug. Too much of it makes us lazy and entitled,” he declares before he apparently thinks better of it and softens his tone. “Wouldn’t you rather something new?”
“I added a few modern conveniences while I still had access to my ex’s bank account,” I explain, gesturing to the control panel.
“Didn’t they start making Broncos again?”
“They did,” I say, lifting a shoulder. “But this one was made for me.”
“I can see that.” He hums and runs a hand over the dashboard, and I could swear he was touching me instead.
“Are you attached to your truck?” I ask, my voice raspier than I intend.
“I’m grateful for it, but that’s all.”
I shake my head, reminding myself that he is Daisy LaFleur’s brother, after all. “I bet you’d get more action in a brand-new truck or a fancy sports car,” I pose and glance his way.
“I’m not into women who are more interested in men with money,” he replies quietly. He’s entirely too cute when he’s shy.
“No, you wouldn’t be,” I confirm as I pull into Coach Reed’s driveway.
I’m still not sure how Loren and Landry’s dad earned so much respect.
By the time I started teaching at Camellia High, no one even dared to bother him with requirements like writing lesson plans or completing his online blood-borne pathogen training.
He just flat-out refused to do anything but coach football, and I suppose the powers that be had no choice but to tolerate him until he retired.
I wonder to myself whether I’ll be that stubborn by the time I reach the thirty-year mark, but I guess managing teenage boys all day can do that to a person.
“Thanks again,” Rowan says when I put my car in park, bringing me back from my thoughts. I watch him swallow hard before he turns to face me. “I’m sorry about earlier, too. You’ve been much nicer to me than I deserve.”
I lift one shoulder in a shrug, suddenly feeling embarrassed. I probably shouldn’t admit that I’ve been mostly motivated by guilt, and I certainly can’t tell him about the part of me that genuinely missed him. “I wouldn’t have wanted the bride and groom worrying about you today.”
“Right,” he says, looking surprisingly disappointed. “I’m glad my sister has friends like you looking out for her.”
“It’s easy to be a good friend to Daisy. She’s the kind of person that makes you want to do better.”
“Yeah, she is. Landry has his moments, too, I suppose,” he adds with a smile.
“He’s not so bad once you get past his bark,” I agree, narrowing my eyes at him. Why are we talking about Landry again? Is he … stalling?
Rowan nods. “I guess I should feel hopeful after all this, since there’s apparently someone out there for everyone.”
“Yeah, because if Landry Reed deserves to find his soulmate, shouldn’t you?” I reply once I catch on to his thought process.
He cringes. “Gah, that sounds so much worse when you say it aloud.”
“But you were thinking it,” I point out, and his sigh is laced with regret.
“God forgive me, but I was,” he admits.
“I get it,” I reassure him. “And I’m sure your person is out there somewhere. Don’t give up.”
He rolls his lips in, as if he’s considering what he wants to say next.
“You’d better get in there before Coach locks up for the night. He doesn’t strike me as the kind to wait up for anyone,” I add quickly to keep Rowan from turning my last claim into another deep conversation.
“Yeah, good night, Claire,” he says, sounding even more disheartened. “I guess I’ll see you in the morning?” He notices the confusion on my face and adds, “Once I work up the courage to ask Coach for a ride to pick up my truck.”
“Oh, right. Don’t worry about coming inside, though. You don’t need to get my permission or anything.”
He nods one more time and mumbles his thanks as he finally gets out of my car, and I let out a relieved exhale as I shift into reverse.
But I can’t bring myself to leave until I know for sure he’s safe for the night.
I watch with a restless foot on the brakes as Rowan knocks on the front door for the third time.
Then I whimper to myself before rolling down my window.
“He’s not answering, is he?”
“I’m sure he’ll open up … eventually,” Rowan says, sounding less confident by the end of his claim.
“Have you met the man before?”
“You’re right.” He turns and leans back, his head hitting the door with a thud. “All I need is to slip inside long enough to grab the bag I left earlier, so I could have my glasses for the drive home. But this is just par for the course tonight.”
I bite my lip, trying not to think about those glasses.
Maybe I’ve been repressing some weird, girlish fantasy, because I can’t recall another time when I thought glasses made a man sexy.
But I’d be lying if I said my imagination hadn’t been running away with the idea of a bespectacled Rowan since the night we met, especially once I realized I’d be seeing him again.
“Get back in the car, Rowan,” I call out after a while, trying to hide the way my voice cracks.
He straightens his posture. “Are you sure?”
“Hurry the hell up before I change my mind.” I stifle a smile when he shuffles down the front porch steps and climbs back into my Bronco.
He huffs into his hands as soon as he’s inside, so I reach out to turn up the heat.
The temperature has dropped a few degrees since our adventure began, and I’m already starting to regret not changing out of my cap-sleeved jumpsuit or at least grabbing a jacket before allowing those blue lights to lure me outside.
“Good thing I switched on the heater before I left home,” I mumble to myself.
“Wish I could say the same for my truck. But I guess this is when you tell me remote start would come in handy, right?” He shoots me a grin as I pull out of the driveway.
I furrow my brow. “You don’t have to fish for an invitation. I’m not heartless enough to make you sleep in your truck.”
His eyes widen in what seems to be genuine surprise. “Oh, um, I wasn’t … I didn’t think …”
I scoff. “I don’t know whether I should be more offended because you thought I’d really leave you out in the cold or because you’re afraid I’ll seduce you again if you come inside.”
He’s silent, and the fact that he doesn’t bother refuting my claim makes me want to shrink back into myself.
“Don’t worry, I get it. You can’t help wondering what you missed out on, but you’re not willing to stoop to my level again,” I mutter after a while.
“I’m done with trying to please men who think they’re better than me, though, so you’re in the clear.
This is just another act of charity on your sister’s behalf. ”
I’m determined not to give him the satisfaction of glancing his way as I drive up to my house and throw the car in park. But Rowan’s hand encircles my wrist before I can make my escape, holding me in place.
“Claire,” he begins, his voice pained, and I break.
He waits until I turn to look at him before he continues.
“I’m not going to act like your assumptions are completely unfounded, but I swear, they’re wrong.
I really am grateful for your kindness, and I’m sorry, again, for taking out my frustration on you.
The truth is I am much more concerned about my own lack of self-control, since there’s apparently something about you that makes me forget who I am.
And I can’t afford to push my luck right now. ”
“So that’s why you seem so upset about getting stuck with me again? It’s more complicated now that I’m Daisy’s friend and not just some stranger?” I tug my arm back, and his frown deepens.
“It’s definitely complicated, but not exactly for the reasons you’d think.
” He pauses and swallows hard before he starts again.
“You’re a beautiful woman, Claire, and you’re easy to like.
But as much as I wish our circumstances were different, you were right before.
Ignoring the fact that we want totally different things wouldn’t be fair to either of us.
The problem is that I’ve never had so much trouble walking away from anyone before, especially when we weren’t on the same page. ”