Chapter 32
CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO
rowan
My brother-in-law sinks another putt, making Blake and JD groan in unison as he returns to save his club with a smug look on his face.
“Is this what playing football with me felt like for everyone else?” JD asks, patting his mid-section. “I mean, back when I was in better shape.”
Blake snorts. “Pretty much.”
Landry’s cocky smirk grows wider. “That might be the most satisfying and vindicating thing I’ve ever heard,” he begins, pausing before adding, “Coming from another man, anyway.”
“We should hug it out,” JD turns and takes a step in Landry’s direction with outstretched arms, and Blake guffaws loudly when Landry picks up his club again.
“Touch me and I’ll tee off on the nearest balls I can find, Golden Boy,” Landry growls.
“Aw, and I thought you’d softened up since Daisy dusted off the old driver,” JD muses, barely able to keep himself from laughing.
Landry shoots me an apologetic look before addressing JD again. “Not that soft.”
“All right, all right, I’m sorry,” JD says with his hands lifted. “I’m only kidding, but I’ll cut you some slack in front of your brother-in-law.”
“Oh, please, don’t take it easy on him on my account. I’ve already been desensitized after staying over at their house so often. Now I’m just grateful my sister doesn’t seem to mind keeping old Doc Reed in a good mood,” I offer dryly.
JD and Blake laugh again, and Landry glares angrily in my direction this time.
“Hey, you’re supposed to take my side any time I’m up against a Bourgeois brother.
That’s the rule,” Landry says, and I press my lips together to stifle a laugh at his serious tone.
“Besides, you’ve been so far up Claire’s ass when you come to town that I barely see you anymore. ”
He crosses his arms in satisfaction after making his point, and I frown at the Bourgeois brothers’ chorus of “oohs.”
“Now, girls. Remember, we’re all friends here,” Blake declares as he digs through his own bag to retrieve a putter.
“There’s more space at Claire’s house … and less chance of walking in on someone making a baby,” I grumble in my defense.
“And whose fault is that?” Landry retorts sarcastically.
The image of Claire in her pajamas flashes through my mind, and my frown transforms into a pout. “I don’t say this often, but sometimes doing the right thing really, really freaking sucks.”
“Ain’t that the truth,” Blake confirms before going over to his ball.
JD clicks his tongue. “A couple months of abstinence, and this kid thinks he’s a saint.”
“It was ten months, most of it spent living alongside the love of my life, also known as the sexiest woman alive, thank you,” he replies and refocuses his efforts on his putt, cursing under his breath when he misses.
“Yeah, well, try thirty-three years,” I mutter, and their heads swivel in my direction.
JD narrows his eyes at me. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
I sigh, figuring I might as well come clean now. “Yeah. Except I nearly ruined my streak a few months ago … the night I met Claire.”
Landry coughs over a laugh, and I shoot him an indignant glare of my own. “What? You’re the one voluntarily spilling your guts to douchebag and douchebag junior,” he reminds me.
“Hey, it’s douchebag the third,” JD corrects him with a smile. “And I’m not judging him either way. I’d already been celibate for a couple of years when Tenley and I got together, and we kept it that way until we tied the knot.”
I lift my brow in surprise.
“Yeah, right. That’s rich coming from the guy who’s always cracking jokes about his sex life,” Landry interjects.
“So my wife and I enjoy partaking in the sacraments, particularly the renewal of our marital vows,” JD says with an unapologetic shrug. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“But what makes you think the rest of us want to hear about it, particularly your kid?” Landry fires back.
JD crosses his arms and stares Landry down. “First of all, you ought to know by now that we’re all just competing to see who can get under your skin the fastest by oversharing.”
Landry aims an incredulous look at Blake, and I barely manage to stifle a laugh. “Come on, man. That’s Lo’s thing, being purposefully crude in front of you,” Blake adds matter-of-factly, and Landry lets out a defeated grunt.
“Second of all,” JD picks up where he left off, “whether you believe me or not, one of the biggest reasons Ten and I chose to wait was to set a good example for Ethan. Despite feeling totally unequipped for the job most days, it’s still my responsibility to teach him about sex and every other uncomfortable topic.
Tenley and I want him to get the right message, but it’s not easy with the rest of the world telling him he deserves instant gratification.
The only way we can compete is by reinforcing the idea that it’s better and more fulfilling within the right context.
And I can’t promote marital intimacy without bringing it up every so often. ”
I have to admire JD’s confidence. He believes he’s doing the right thing, regardless of his motivation, and he’s less bothered by someone questioning his follow-through than his reasoning.
I thought I shared the same convictions before, but maybe I’ve forgotten the point of all this …
waiting. Sure, avoiding sin is important, but I haven’t exactly been treating sex the way JD’s describing it, the way I explained it to Claire a while back.
I know the purpose is to offer myself to my spouse in the same way Christ did for mankind, freely and completely, but I haven’t been acting like I know that.
Instead, I’ve been afraid to grow, trying to bypass temptation instead of getting better at resisting it.
Which means I’ve been holding back with Claire because I’m too much of a coward to face my attraction head on.
It’s no wonder she can’t bring herself to trust me with her heart when I’ve been too scared to give away my own.
“Plus, we’ve already learned not to take ourselves too seriously,” JD adds. “I mean, Ethan’s seventeen years old, and he obviously understands what’s going on. So I might as well turn the awkward moments into either laughable or teachable ones.”
“Yeah, well, what’s your excuse?” Landry turns to Blake after stewing over JD’s answer and probably realizing it makes too much sense.
“We all know my sense of humor rarely makes it out of the gutter. But also, my wife likes being reminded that she’s irresistible, and she especially likes it when I declare that I’m happily detained in front of everyone else. And I like what she likes,” Blake replies smoothly.
He’s got a point, too. But the way I’ve been acting so hot and cold toward Claire while I’m struggling to overcome temptation has left her believing it’s my attraction to her that bothers me and not my weakness in general.
“Listen, boys,” Blake begins again when he sees us looking thoughtful.
“Women need a lot of reinforcement. They don’t compartmentalize shit the way we do.
It’s all connected for them, so they start to question how much we love them as soon as there’s a small argument or we come home in a bad mood after a crappy day at work.
It’s important that we give them that reassurance, not only of our love and loyalty, but of our physical attraction to them.
I tried going easy on that last part before, thinking I was being respectful.
Turns out, it made Loren doubt how much I wanted her.
You gotta find that balance, the sweet spot between ‘I love you more than life itself’ and ‘I’m constantly thinking about you naked.
’ And make sure she knows there’s nothing you wouldn’t do to make her feel good. ”
JD clears his throat, and I laugh to myself when Blake adds, “As long as it’s both unitive and procreative, of course.”
“Sorry, I stopped listening when you mentioned thinking about my sister naked,” Landry mutters under his breath.
“That’s rich coming from the Big Bad Wolf himself,” I reply, and Landry’s eyes widen.
“How’d you know about that?” he asks quickly.
“There’s a reason I run off to Claire’s all the time. You have very thin walls, man,” I say with a grimace. “And I don’t even want to know why the shower’s been covered in body hair lately.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Blake chimes in. “Have we just learned that Landry Reed is an undercover freak?”
“Unlike some of you, I don’t feel the need to share the details of my love life with the class,” Landry grinds out, his eyes narrowed at Blake. Meanwhile JD’s face reddens with the effort it’s taking him not to laugh.
“Bull,” I call him out under the guise of a fake cough. Landry looks betrayed, but I continue, anyway. “You and Daisy both don’t seem to mind rubbing your wedded bliss in my face. Not to mention, Claire’s going to feel like crap when she hears about how you’re trying to …”
I let the rest of that statement hang in the air once I realize what I’ve done.
“What do you mean by that?” Landry asks quietly.
I cringe and rub a hand over my face. “Forget it.”
“We both know that doesn’t work with me,” he replies.
Even though I know he’s right, I still hesitate to divulge the rest, especially in front of the others.
“Daisy already told me you were trying for a baby, but I’m worried about how Claire’s going to take the news.
She’s had some fertility-related issues in the past, so it’s a sensitive topic for her.
But it doesn’t mean we’re not happy for you guys or we won’t be hoping and praying it goes well for you.
It’s just hard not to feel sorry for ourselves, I guess. ”
Landry nods. “I’m sorry, man.”
“Don’t be. You didn’t know,” I reassure him with a pat on the shoulder.
“Daisy must not know, either. I’ll mention it to her, so we can be more mindful around Claire,” he promises, and I can’t be the only one impressed this time.
“You know what would make everyone feel better?” JD interrupts.