Chapter 35
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
claire
Rowan stands there with a mug in one hand and his phone in the other after I fling open my bedroom door. He offers me an apologetic smile to go along with my cup of coffee, and I can’t tell which warms me more easily.
“I’m not getting an answer, am I?” he ventures after I take the first sip.
“No,” I say firmly, and he frowns. “There. That one hard enough for you?”
He shakes his head as his smile returns. “And I thought I asked you to stop being this cute. You know I love it when you wear those overalls.”
I roll my eyes at his crisp baby blue button down and the casual slacks that look like they were tailored to fit him. But then again, he’s always appropriately dressed.
“Figured you’d inform me of some rule about women only being allowed to wear dresses since Jesus rose on the third day,” I mumble, trying to ignore the way his shirt makes his eyes pop.
“Nah, I like this better, anyway. Especially since we both know you’ll just end up in the barn with the kids,” he leans in to add, making me scoff. I shove him out of my way after that, and he chuckles as he follows me to the kitchen.
Frankie’s tail thumps against the floor when he sees me, so I set my coffee aside and stoop down to squish his furry face between my hands, already feeling guilty about leaving them all day.
My chest tightens when he stares up at me with more love and adoration in his big, brown eyes than I could ever deserve.
Oscar approaches a second later, and I try to hide my sniffling by greeting him in a silly voice.
But when I glance at Rowan to see whether he’s noticed my ridiculously emotional reaction to my dog’s everyday loyalty, I find him staring back at me with an expression that rivals Frankie’s.
I clear my throat and dust my hands off on my thighs as I stand. “I’m not going anywhere with you if you don’t quit looking at me like that.”
“Like what?” he asks, casually taking a sip from the same mug he uses every time he comes over. And the fact that I let him pick out a favorite mug tells me I’m in more trouble than I thought.
“Like you’re plotting against me or something,” I reply with as much sass as I can muster.
He shrugs. “Do you … want me against you?”
I narrow my eyes at him as he struggles to keep his expression blank. “Who’s being cute now?”
“So you do think I’m cute.” His brow and his lips lift on the same side, and it’s downright freaking adorable. Not that I’m about to admit that to him, of course.
“What happened to not pushing your luck again and all that?” I fire back before I turn to slip on my work boots.
“We both know what seeing you first thing in the morning does to my brain,” he says on a sigh. “Especially when you wake up in a salty mood.”
I spin around, ready to deliver another smart-assed retort, only to find him mere inches away from me. My breath catches in my throat, and my knees threaten to buckle as his eyes run over me.
“I, um … Maybe I should change after all,” I pant, fluttering my eyelashes as if I’m fanning myself. But there’s no cooling off once Rowan reaches out to hook a finger behind the bib of my overalls and tugs me closer.
“I meant what I said about these overalls. But if it bothers you that much, you could always take them off,” he suggests, his voice gravelly, and my knees threaten to buckle when he drags a finger up to graze the clasp over my chest. “Or maybe you’d rather wait until we get to the barn for that?”
“Rowan, what are you doing?” I choke out.
“Looking for answers,” he replies.
“What … answers?”
His eyes lift to mine. “Is this what you want? For me to stop being so nice all the time?”
My lips part in a gasp. “Are you just messing with me right now?”
“You only seem to like me when I’m being dangerous, so I thought I’d test that theory.”
His gaze zeroes in on my mouth, and I realize I’m twisting my fingers into his shirt, bracing for impact.
“Is that true, Claire?” he rasps.
“What?”
“Are you still only interested in me for one thing? Is it just lust for you?” he asks, furrowing his brow.
I should say yes, that ever since we met, I’ve only been interested in sleeping with him.
I should tell him my attraction is merely physical, that I’ve never cared about anything below the surface or even wondered what it would be like to let myself fall for him completely.
I should declare last night was a mistake, right before I add something about finding his religious principles almost as irritating as his belief in soulmates.
And if he brings it up, I should deny how much fun we have together, how I crave being in his presence all the time, and how he’s the only person who’s ever made me feel special and safe enough to be myself.
I clear my throat. “No,” I say instead, because I can’t bring myself to lie this time. “But I’m still afraid that’s all it is for you.”
He shakes his head. “Claire, of the two L-words I used last night, you do know which one I’m leaning toward, right?” he asks with a different kind of desperation in his voice, making my stomach dip.
“Stop right there. Please,” I tell him and reluctantly push away.
“Okay,” he says, sighing and lifting his hands in surrender.
The silence stretches between us before I turn away. “Maybe I should just stay—”
“No, please,” he begs me. “I’m sorry. I’ll be good, I promise.”
I eye him skeptically. I’m not sure that phrase means the same to both of us.
“And I already went to Mass earlier this morning, so you don’t have to worry about walking into that trap again,” he adds.
“Fine,” I say, surprised by the hint of disappointment that last part brings. “But I’m only going for Daisy … and your mom. And Gertie. Well, and your dad.”
“Fair enough,” he says with a sad smile.
“And I want to bring the boys,” I blurt out, gesturing over to Frankie and Oscar. Oscar drops the toy in his mouth and bounds forward when he realizes he has our attention, tripping over his own ears and taking his brother down with him.
“All right,” Rowan agrees, his smile growing more genuine before he waltzes over and scoops up the dogs. “Family road trip, it is.”
I shoot another angry glare his way before I gulp down the rest of my coffee. Then I try to ignore him as he tells Frankie and Oscar about how much fun they’re going to have on the homestead. And Rowan pretends he doesn’t hear my frustrated growl after my plans to push him away backfire once again.
The tension fades on the drive, especially with the dogs to keep us preoccupied.
In hindsight, stuffing two greedy pups into a back seat full of chocolate candy and boiled eggs probably wasn’t the best idea.
I barely keep Oscar from snacking on the chocolate bunnies Rowan packed for his godchildren, and Frankie manages to embezzle at least one dyed egg, as evidenced by the blue tongue he’s sporting when we arrive at the homestead.
None of that stops the two of them from strolling in like they own the place, though, or the warm welcome they receive from the horde of children looking to get rid of the yolks from their pacqued eggs.
To be fair, Rowan’s parents greet me just as warmly. The embrace I get from Mrs. LaFleur pokes at my guilty conscience after telling my own mom I wouldn’t make it to dinner today, even more so once Daisy, Landry, and Juniper arrive and get the same treatment.
Daisy squeals with delight when she spots me and runs over to pull me in for a hug. “I’m so glad you’re here,” she says, making my eyes water just the slightest as she walks off to add a pan of bread pudding to the dessert table.
“Good to see you, Claire. Especially here, at the LaFleur homestead, spending Easter Sunday with your good pal Rowan and his family,” Landry tells me with a knowing smile.
I cross my arms over my middle. “From what I understand, you were a regular around here long before Daisy ever caught your attention.”
“Yeah. I wasn’t always so keen on spending the weekends and holidays in Camellia. But my roommate couldn’t stand leaving me behind, no matter how many times I swore I’d rather be alone.”
“Sounds about right,” I mumble with an eye roll. “Let me guess, Daisy was just as persistent?”
“Worse,” he admits before leaning in to whisper, “I used to think they were sort of like a cult, but the good kind,” and I snort out a laugh. “The kind that shows you what you’re missing out on, and even makes you believe God could love you enough to let you have it all, too.”
I blink up at him in disbelief after he adds that last part, though he only smiles encouragingly.
“Don’t get any ideas. I’m just here for the free meal and the barn animals,” I say faintly, gesturing over my overalls. “Nobody’s getting me to drink the Kool-Aid.”
“Did you say you were ready to go out to check on the lambs?” Gertie pops out from behind me and grabs my hand, tugging me onward and melting my heart.
“We’ll go soon, I promise. But I’m pretty sure your parents will want you to finish your lunch first,” I tell her with a laugh.
Gertie sighs and drops my hand. “You’re right. Grand-mére is never going to let us go until we eat.”
“Why don’t you and your brother fix your plates, and I’ll ask Grand-pére to take us on the side-by-side in a bit?”
“Yes!” she exclaims before she dashes off to grab Giles and inform him that “Tante Claire said she’ll bring us to the barn after we eat.”
“Sounds like you’ve already been sipping the sweet stuff, Tante,” Landry muses as Rowan and Daisy return, and my cheeks flush.
“Can I get you something to eat?” Rowan asks, handing me a glass of iced tea before casually placing his hand on the small of my back. My eyelashes flutter as I attempt to keep my cool, and I look up to find Daisy batting her eyes mockingly.
“Thanks, but I can serve myself,” I say flatly.