Chapter 44
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
claire
“It’s just our friends and family, right?” Rowan reaches over the console of his truck to curl his hand around mine when I let out a weighty exhale.
I probably shouldn’t be this nervous over the prospect of looking romantically involved with him when we’ve been behaving very romantically together, at least for the past few days.
But I can’t shake the voice in my head telling me I’m not the right woman for the job, even though my heart seems to think I am.
“You must not have heard everything your sisters said about me last time,” I remark, intending it to be a joke. But I feel guilty as soon as his expression falls.
“I’m sorry again about that. I know it’s not much of a consolation, but I don’t think any of them meant it personally. They would have vetted any woman I brought home after thirty-plus years of being single,” he reassures me, squeezing my hand.
“They weren’t wrong, though,” I mumble.
“Yes, they were,” he insists. “And I’ll prove it to you, as soon as you’re ready.”
“What do you mean?” I ask cautiously.
“I promised to keep my long-term plans on the back burner for now, but I am all set to crank the heat up as high as you can handle it. All I need is a green light.”
My lips twitch with amusement at the same time my stomach flutters with anticipation. “I’m starting to rethink my decision to use the L-word. You’re letting it go to your head.”
He lifts my hand to his mouth for a kiss, ignoring my protest. “Admitting you were wrong will be the hardest part. After that, I’ll make sure you never regret saying yes.”
“I’m much more worried you’ll be the one with the regrets,” I mutter.
“That could never happen,” he declares.
“And what about five or ten or even twenty years down the road, when you have to deliver the millionth baby that isn’t yours?” I retort. “Are you sure you won’t care what your family says then?”
“If I can’t have children with you, then I’m not meant to have them,” he says simply. “But I’m not worrying about something we haven’t even tried.”
I roll my eyes. “And we can’t try until it’s too late.”
“Too late for what? Should I be looking into a prenup in case our wedding night isn’t up to your standards?”
I groan and tug my hand back. “We’re not even supposed to be talking about getting married.”
“You brought it up first this time,” he points out smugly. “But since we’re on the subject, you should know that if and when I ask you to marry me, it’ll be because I want to spend the rest of my life with you and not simply because I expect you to have my children.”
I scoff. “This from the same guy who claims he wants marriage and family more than anything.”
“And you haven’t been pretending you don’t want those things just as badly as I do because you’re afraid of getting let down again?”
“No,” I pout, because we both know he’s at least partially right.
His brow lifts. “Are you sure?”
“I’m not afraid of getting let down.”
“I love you, Claire,” he begins softly, taking my hand again. “And if you can’t tell by now, there’s nothing I wouldn’t give you. If babies don’t come easy, we’ll find another way.”
My chin still trembles at the thought of disappointing him. “You don’t understand how much it hurts to get your period month after month, to fail at something that comes so naturally to everyone else,” I tell him, my voice small.
“No,” he sighs. “I can’t imagine how that feels, and I can’t guarantee it won’t happen this time around. But I can promise you’ll never face anything alone again.”
“It’s too much. I can’t expect you to console me every time I let you down,” I whisper, surprised at myself for getting the words out. I cast a furtive glance his way and find him smiling.
“I would be the failure if I let you go on thinking that,” he replies gently. “The only way you could let me down is by not letting me in, and you’ve already exceeded my expectations. I know it took a lot of courage for you to share all that, but I’m grateful you did. And I’m proud of you.”
“Thank you for making me feel safe,” I say with a shrug, stifling a smile of my own.
“You know, I’m beginning to think I’ve finally cracked the code. You don’t seem to mind talking about your feelings as much after a few kisses and a dangerous line or two,” he teases, referring to the twenty minutes we spent making out on the couch before we came here.
I click my tongue, even though my cheeks heat at the reminder. “I’m not that simple. But if you ever need my social security number or my blood type, you should probably start by trying some of those things you whispered in my ear earlier this afternoon.”
“Thanks for the tip,” he says, a wide grin splitting his face. “Should I …”
“Only if you want Tante Verna’s secret rum cake recipe,” I mutter. But I can’t stop myself from snickering, even as he leans in to press a kiss to my lips.
“Come on, Claire Bear,” he says, resting his forehead against mine. “We’ve got a surprise party planned by Landry Reed to attend.”
“Oh, Bingo!” I straighten and call out. “That square was right beside ‘falling for a thirty-something-year-old virgin’ on my card for this year.”
He snorts and kisses me again before he comes around to get my door, and we hold hands as we amble down the road to Loren and Blake’s house.
Rowan’s parents are the first ones to greet us, and they don’t seem scandalized or even surprised by our more intimate demeanor. His mom smiles knowingly when he pulls away from her embrace and immediately clasps my hand again, but she doesn’t ask any questions.
The rest of the LaFleur clan seems more eager to speculate about our relationship status, though. Magnolia watches as I reach up to wipe some of the lipstick I smudged over Rowan’s neck earlier, and he meets her scrutiny with an assertive gaze, staring her down until she turns away.
“What’s that about?” I whisper.
“Nothing I can’t handle,” he replies cooly, and he’s so incredibly sexy that I have to talk myself out of sneaking him into another room to reapply some of those lipstick stains.
Oh, hell. There’s no reason I can’t do that, is there?
I trail a finger down his chest. “Are you my bodyguard now?”
“Your bodyguard?” he asks, blinking.
“I need to find the ladies’ room. Care to escort me, in case any mean girls try to corner me on the way?”
He smirks when he catches on and glances around the room for an escape route, but Loren finds us before we can slink off.
“Hey, you two. Glad you could make it … together,” Loren says, bouncing her eyebrows suggestively as she switches one of her twins to the other hip. “How’s that soft launch going?”
“Trying to keep it soft,” I mumble, and Rowan cocks an eyebrow, making Loren snort, and I suppress a smile as I continue. “I don’t want to steal the birthday girl’s thunder, but it seems like there’s a spotlight on us.”
“They’ll get over it by the time Daisy arrives,” she reassures me before she scurries off to her hostess duties.
Blake follows with the other twin in tow, stopping to shoot me a wink as he mumbles an aside that makes Rowan blush, and we earn an appreciative nod from JD and a ‘that’s what I thought’ look from Tenley.
“Oh, they’re here,” one of Daisy’s sisters shouts from near the window, and Loren pulls up the doorbell camera on the living room TV as everyone takes their places. Rowan moves in closer and grins at me before he looks up at the live feed of Daisy and Landry climbing down from his Jeep.
“You know what would make this an even better birthday dinner?” Daisy muses, her voice slightly muffled. Loren turns the volume higher so everyone can hear.
“What’s that, Blondie?” Landry asks, their voices ringing out more clearly now that they’re closer to the camera’s microphone.
“If my stupid brother and my dumb-dumb friend would stop pretending they aren’t in love and just admit how badly they want to be together, so they could have joined us tonight without it being awkward.”
My stomach dips and Rowan stiffens beside me, but he doesn’t say anything. And I don’t dare bring my eyes up to see anyone’s reaction.
Landry chuckles. “At least he’s willing to admit he loves her, despite the way things started.”
Daisy gasps and stops short. “Did he really say he’s in love with her?”
“Yep.” Landry urges her onward.
“Ugh, that makes it even worse! You can already cut the sexual tension with a knife every time they’re in the same room.
I guess it’s a good thing they didn’t actually sleep together the night they met, especially since she was still technically married, but I’m afraid Rowan’s just torturing himself at this point,” Daisy continues as she reaches the door.
“How long can one man hold on to his virginity when he’s actively throwing himself in the face of temptation? ”
And, just like that, we’ve been outed in front of all our friends and his family.
I should probably ask Loren to turn off the camera feed, but my eyes dart over to check Rowan’s expression instead.
It’s blank, and I watch his chest rise and fall as he continues staring up at the TV.
I brace myself for the worst when I hear a few errant snickers and giggles in the background, but he doesn’t move.
“Give him a break,” Landry replies. “Forcing yourself to stay away from the woman you love takes a whole lot of willpower. Especially when she’s actively trying to lure you into bed.”
Daisy clicks her tongue and elbows him in the ribs, and my own face heats when Rowan’s gaze flickers over to me. His shoulders relax, and he shoots me an apologetic smile, to my relief.
“You don’t need to knock. Lo said we could let ourselves in,” Daisy tells Landry when he lifts his knuckles to the door.
“It’s so adorable how you trust my sister not to purposefully set us up to walk in on her and Blake the Snake getting freaky in the living room,” he says, rolling his eyes and following through with the knock.
“We haven’t exactly been any better in front of my brother,” Daisy points out.