Chapter 16
For the next few days, life at Fernside continued as contentedly as it had for practically the entire time since I’d arrived. Constance and I regularly enjoyed breakfast together after my early morning river swims and then also saw each other at various points throughout the day.
Rick, who was properly behaving, continued to squeeze the garden work into his regular maintenance round and sometimes in the evenings everyone came to swim, chat or both, and quite often these impromptu gatherings were enhanced by some leftover bakes Melody treated us to from the store, or by me reading us a chapter from Constance’s beloved copy of The Wind in the Willows.
Stretched out on blankets and with the lanterns softly flickering it was as enchanting as our first get-together, and I often found myself wishing the summer wouldn’t end, even though I adored the colours of autumn and snuggling up in a cosy sweater.
And this year, there’d be James to cosy up with, too. What a seductive prospect that was.
Constance hadn’t yet offered to play the piano for us, or even mentioned that she could, but I was secretly hoping for rain when Kaya finished cleaning, so we could move inside, because then she might.
If my mention of Dad, Zack and I coming to terms with living a fuller life beyond the loss of Mum had got her thinking about enjoying music when Grace wasn’t here to enjoy the woods, then she might consider sharing her talent.
I hoped she would because her playing was beautiful.
James was so busy working we didn’t have an opportunity to meet in person, but every evening we chatted on the phone.
I felt like I had known him so much longer than I really had and when I mentioned that to him, he said he felt the same way about me.
He also told me he was a few steps closer to deciding about his career but didn’t tell me which way the pendulum had swung.
I had my own opinion about that but kept it to myself.
‘Have you heard any more from your brother?’ Constance asked one morning after we’d finished our breakfast. ‘Is he still on sabbatical?’
I brushed the crumbs off my hands and unlocked my phone to show her the most recent photos he’d sent.
Despite the technical challenges, Zack had been messaging much more than before and the sight of him standing in front of a waterfall with a lush green forest behind him and a huge smile on his face filled my heart with joy.
‘Oh, my goodness,’ Constance sighed dreamily. ‘Isn’t that exquisite?’
‘It certainly is,’ I agreed.
‘Are you sure you’re not regretting staying here rather than flying out to join him?’
‘Absolutely not,’ I told her. Given that it was the photo of the gang in The Greenman that had kicked his soul-searching off, I was even happier to have stayed put. ‘I’m more than content.’
It was interesting that Zack and I seemed to have switched roles to a certain extent in recent weeks.
Whereas I was usually the cautious one who needed endless plans and lists to keep my life running how I liked it, I’d found myself becoming a bit freer and easier since the move to Fernside.
The casual evening gatherings were evidence of that.
Zack, on the other hand, had now stopped long enough to think a few things through and get to grips with the possibility of planning some changes.
When James and I had previously talked about our approaches to life’s challenges, I had mentioned the vast differences between my brother and I, but this summer we seemed to have borrowed a bit from each other and the balance was proving the right way to go for both of us.
‘Well, that’s all right then,’ Constance smiled. ‘I’m very happy that you’re so happy to be here.’
‘Though I wouldn’t mind having the opportunity to give Zack a huge hug.’ I sighed as I looked at the photo again.
‘Family is precious,’ Constance said wistfully. ‘Especially when there’s so little of it left to go around.’
I put my phone away again and looked over at her.
‘I’m so sorry you haven’t got family now, Constance,’ I said softly. ‘I can’t imagine being entirely on my own.’
The thought of something happening to Zack was one I never allowed to linger, though since losing Dad, it did occasionally rear its ugly head. Poor Constance.
‘I do have one relative left in the world.’ Her admission of this floored me.
‘You do?’ I frowned. ‘I don’t believe it. Why have you never mentioned them or—’
‘Because we don’t speak,’ she briskly interrupted. ‘We’ve cut ties and have nothing to do with each other now.’
‘But family is—’
‘Yes,’ she cut in again. ‘Precious. I completely agree, but not the sort who report you to social services and pit themselves against every important decision you attempt to make.’
She sounded very bitter, but given the upset Miss Lyons had caused, I didn’t think I had a hope of talking her around or facilitating a reconciliation. Not that I had any grounds to. That would have been interfering on a scale that went way beyond doing some ironing.
‘I’ve recently discovered,’ she carried on more calmly, ‘that found family can mean as much, if not more, than those connected by blood that you once held so dear but have become estranged from.’
‘Oh Constance.’ I swallowed over the lump in my throat as I nonetheless wished, despite my former conviction not to get involved, that there was something I could do to help. ‘That’s such a tragedy. Who is this relative? A cousin or—’
‘Now listen,’ she said sternly, and I heard a car arriving on the drive. ‘Here’s Kaya, so we’d better get cleared up.’
‘But—’
‘I mean it Tilly,’ she said firmly. ‘I don’t want you to say another word to me about this. Or anyone else for that matter. Promise?’
She clearly regretted that she’d mentioned the situation and wasn’t going to elaborate whether Kaya was there or not.
‘Promise,’ I reluctantly pledged.
‘Here she comes,’ she nodded towards the back door as the sound of singing met our ears and Kaya unlocked the gate. ‘Let’s get these plates in the sink, quick.’
We’d had kippers that morning, with thick slices of buttered toast, and eaten them outside so as not to stink the whole of the house out too much, but Constance obviously had a feeling Kaya would object.
‘How’s she getting on?’ I asked, in lieu of the other questions I really wanted to ask.
Constance was still refusing to let me or anyone other than Kaya see further inside than the kitchen.
She said she wanted the whole place spick, span and polished before she opened it up again and Kaya had been sworn to secrecy as to what any of the rooms looked like.
I was itching for her to finish but she wasn’t the sort of housekeeper to cut corners.
The amount of stuff she’d carried out for Rick to cart away would have justified having a skip and given that Kaya had found a few hundred pounds hidden about the place, Constance could have afforded one!
The only things Kaya had shared with me was that there was a room upstairs that Constance had asked her not to go into and that she’d seen no evidence of the rumoured repairs that needed doing.
I speculated that the issue might be in the mystery room, but if there wasn’t a problem, what was it that had really prompted Constance to put the beloved family woods up for sale?
‘She’s getting on very well,’ Constance told me. Her tone suggested that she was happy with Kaya’s progress and that she had now completely moved on from the former topic of conversation. ‘She’s working hard and seems to be enjoying it, which is a bonus.’
‘Morning folks!’ Kaya greeted us. ‘Hey! Oh yuck. What’s that smell?’
Her smile had instantly disappeared.
‘Kippers,’ Constance told her. ‘Tilly cooked them for our breakfast.’
‘Well, I hope the kitchen doesn’t smell like those plates. We’d better have all the windows open if it does. What’s the point of me freshening everywhere up for you to stink it out with smoked fish?’
It was a brave woman who told Constance off.
‘We made sure the kitchen door was shut when I cooked them,’ I quickly told her. ‘So, it shouldn’t have wafted too far.’
‘That’s all right then,’ she said. ‘And I’m sorry I’m a bit late.’ We hadn’t realised she was. ‘Only, the people who checked out of the cottage left it in a right state and as there’s another guest going in this afternoon, I had to sort it.’
‘Shame on them,’ Constance tutted.
‘Um,’ Kaya sniffed. ‘I’ll spare you the worst of the details, but we’ll be lucky if the make-up stains come off the towels. Now, I’d better crack on. There’s still plenty to do.’
With the upstairs rooms now back to the standard Constance said her parents and sister would have expected, Kaya was going to work her magic on the landing and stairs, then move into the ground floor rooms.
‘As soon as the office is clean,’ Constance told me, once Kaya had gone, ‘I’ll dig out the folders Grace kept the nursery paperwork in. She was a stickler for keeping details and some of it might be useful.’
‘Anything you can pass on will be helpful,’ I thanked her. I might have chilled out in some respects, but where the business was concerned, I was still all… well, business. ‘I want to have all my ducks in a row, right from the off.’
Constance approved of that.
‘No one prepares to fail,’ she began.
‘They only fail to prepare,’ I finished. ‘One of Dad’s favourites.’
I remembered him telling me that Mum was the laidback one and he was the list maker. Zack and I had assumed that my brother favoured Mum, and I was more in Dad’s camp, but now I wondered if we were each more of a combo of the two.
‘Wise man,’ Constance nodded. ‘Now, let’s clear up and then you can get on with your day.’
‘You sound like you want to get rid of me,’ I ventured.
‘Not at all, but I would imagine you have a lot to do.’
She was right and I was going to need a distraction to make me forget what she’d formerly said. Or at least, not fall to thinking about it for too long.
Some of my day consisted of me looking up local consultants and agents who might be suitable for valuing Willowell Woods.
It hadn’t escaped my notice that Constance hadn’t broached the subject again, but I hadn’t forgotten.
I might not have a bottomless financial well to draw from, but I wasn’t going to pay her a penny less than the woods were genuinely worth, even if it did mean I ended up living in a shoebox for a while.
I’d settled on two firms by the end of the day and was just about to go and suggest them to Constance when James called.
‘Hello you,’ I smiled at the screen as the call connected. ‘How are you doing?’
‘Oh, I’m all right.’ He smiled back, but the expression didn’t reach his eyes, which had dark smudges under them.
‘I’m not sure you mean that.’
‘No,’ he said, stifling a yawn, which made him look even more exhausted. ‘I’m not sure I do either. This case is really taking it out of me. The client is a total nightmare, and I just know my boss set me up with them as punishment for taking on the extra pro bono case in Sudbury.’
‘That wouldn’t really have been their motivation, would it?’ I frowned. ‘That kind of behaviour would be ridiculous.’
‘Well,’ he sighed. ‘That’s how it feels.’
‘I’m sorry, James.’
‘Me too,’ he agreed, then sat up straighter and I could see more of the space around him. I realised he was calling from an office, so was obviously still at work even though it was late. ‘But it’s not all doom and gloom,’ he carried on.
‘Oh?’
‘I’m relieved to say that, after much deliberation and a very early walk along the river this morning, I’ve finally reached a decision about my dilemma.’
‘Go on,’ I encouraged him.
Given that he’d made the decision with the help of some time outside, I had a feeling I already knew what he was going to say. He was finally putting himself first and I immediately got carried away imagining him in his new role and potentially being closer to me on a full-time basis.
‘I’ve decided to stick with what I’ve got.’
‘Good for you!’ I clapped. ‘Wait… what?’
‘I’m staying where I am,’ he repeated.
That was the worst decision ever given that it meant continuing to work for the boss who was currently making him suffer for doing decent work.
‘But why would you decide that?’ I blurted out. ‘You’re so unhappy there, James.’
‘I know,’ he said, trying to sound certain he was doing the right thing, but not quite managing it, ‘but this way, the family silver stays in the safe and ultimately, that’s what matters most.’
I knew he’d taken his time and given his decision serious thought, so it wasn’t my place to attempt to talk him out of it, but I really wanted to.
‘Is it really silver that you’re protecting?’ I asked, even though I knew it wouldn’t be.
‘No,’ he said, with a small smile. ‘It’s something far more precious than that.’
‘Well, I hope I get to see it one day. I’d love to know what it is that’s putting you through all of this and decide for myself if it’s worth it.’
‘I’m sure you’ll see it,’ he said. ‘And I know you’ll love it.’
‘And I hope I get to see you again soon, too,’ I said.
‘Me too.’ He smiled and this time his eyes did light up.
‘I can’t wait to pick up where we left off.’ I smiled back.
‘In the botanic garden, you mean?’ he asked, feigning ignor-ance. ‘It would be good to see it again as the summer inches towards its end…’
‘You know exactly where I mean,’ I laughed.
‘Yes,’ he said. ‘I do.’ Our eyes locked and then there was a loud knock on his office door. ‘Damn,’ he said. ‘I have to go.’
‘All right.’ I swallowed, wishing I was there to kiss him goodnight, or even better, that he was sitting on the apartment sofa with me. ‘Don’t work too hard.’
‘I’ll try not to,’ he promised. ‘Bye.’
‘Night. I hope you sleep well.’
‘You too.’
With thoughts of mine and James’s wonderful kisses still filling my head, I decided to have an early night.
However, when I turned off the lamp, my mind began replaying my earlier conversation with Constance.
It was extraordinary to think that she had a family member out in the world somewhere.
I knew I’d promised that I wouldn’t mention them again, but I would have loved to see them reconciled every bit as much as I was finding myself falling in love with James.