Chapter 20
I want to go to dinner, then be dinner. Nothing crazy.
— Milena to Nastya
MILENA
“ I don’t know about normal,” he said just before he bent down and captured my mouth with his.
We’d known each other for a matter of moments in the grand scheme of things. I’d liked everything I’d known about him.
I liked that he was rough around the edges.
I liked that he was a killer—did that make me sick?
I liked that he was unapologetically masculine.
I liked that he could break someone in half with barely any effort.
I liked everything about him, and that included how sexually attracted to him I was.
My body had craved his for days, and now that I had him where I wanted him, I wasn’t going to hold back.
I wanted to be free, and I had a feeling he’d make me fly.
His big, rough hands smoothed down my arms, past my hands, and to my hips. When he had a firm grip, he lifted me up effortlessly, not grunting even a little, and twisted us so that I was now sitting on the counter that was mostly free of products, stray hairs, and hairbrushes.
The moment my ass met the cool, granite countertop, I squeaked.
He pulled back from the kiss, smiling as he did.
“ Cold ?” he teased.
I shifted restlessly, my nipples pebbling for an entirely different reason, and said, “ Yeah . These counters are freezing.”
He lifted me up again, let me slide down his body—and his erection was really, really hard—and reached for the towel that was on the hook next to the opposite counter.
Snapping it toward him, he spread it flat on the counter behind me with one hand and then lifted me onto the counter again.
This time it was warm, but I wasn’t sure if that was because he’d done it in a way that showed off his tight abs, or because the towel itself was warm.
Probably both.
He moved between my legs, making me completely forget about the chill, and pressed himself fully against me.
I looked up at him then, the height difference between us making my neck stretch, and said, “ I’m not on birth control.”
His eyes flared. “ No condoms.”
At first, I was thinking he meant he didn’t have any condoms.
But then I realized that he was telling me he wasn’t going to wear them.
“ O -okay,” I said.
The gleam in his eyes let me know that he liked my response.
When he bent down and took my mouth again, I forgot my own name, let alone what he’d just said to rock my world.
There was only so much world rocking you could take until your mind literally shut down.
And that was exactly what happened with Cutter .
He made me forget everything.
Where I was.
Who I was.
What had happened to me.
The expectations.
The world.
There was only him and me.
No trauma.
No what ifs.
No should dos.
Just him, me, and the magic we were making together.
His hands were everywhere then, smoothing up the length of my body, gauging my readiness with the way that I shifted and shimmied against him.
When my heels went to his butt to pull him closer, he chuckled and pulled away from our languid kiss, his fingers smoothing up the backside of my shirt.
I shifted my body, going up on one butt cheek, to allow him to lift the shirt from underneath me. Then repeated it with the other side.
As soon as the shirt was free of my body weight, he ran his hands under the lower hem revealing my legs and hips.
I don’t know why I didn’t feel exposed around him.
Maybe it was the way he’d saved me already.
Maybe it was because when I was in his presence, I felt like I could take on the world.
Whatever the reason, I didn’t flinch at his perusal of my body.
I allowed my hair to cover me, displaying the tight peaks of my nipples through the fabric of his shirt and strands of my hair.
My hair pooled in my lap, mostly covering my naked lower half.
His eyes trailed down my body, and he stopped when he realized that I was panty-free.
His eyes came up to mine and he said, “ No wonder you were so cold earlier.”
I giggled and said, “ I don’t sleep in panties. They’re restrictive.”
“ Hmm ,” he hummed, his finger trailing along my thigh.
Shivers danced along my skin, following the path of his finger.
I studied his profile as he watched his finger move, starting at my hip, then farther up underneath my— his —shirt.
My nipples pebbled in anticipation as the tail of my shirt rose, revealing more and more skin, until his finger was now up between my breasts.
The path that his finger took felt like a brand straight to my soul.
“ On a scale from one to ten,” he murmured, voice low but somehow deeper. Huskier . “ How in tune are you with your cycle?”
I blinked, my mind blanking for a moment before saying, “ I mean, I know when it’s supposed to come next.”
“ My sister, in her infinite ‘teach your older brothers about women’ era, taught us all about when a woman is fertile,” he circled one taut nipple. “ Told us about how when, if she was at a point in her cycle, that was the best opportunity to get them pregnant. And to stay far, far away from them at that time unless we were willing to deal with the consequences.”
I bit my lip when his fingers plucked my nipple.
“ And for some fuckin’ reason, my alpha male, neanderthal brain is telling me that, if we’re married, I might as well really cement you permanently into my life by getting you pregnant while I’m at it.” He looked up then, his eyes super intense. “ Because I don’t think I’ll ever let you go, Milena soon-to-be-forever Clayborne .”
I swallowed hard at the intensity in his eyes. “ I , uh, I’m fairly sure that I’m not ovulating.”
His smile seemed to dim slightly at the news, and I saw the moment that the thought, the very idea of me carrying his child, permanently solidified in his brain.
He wanted me pregnant.
He was being one hundred percent serious.
He wanted me to be his.
Forever .
What kind of crazy, fucked up, weird shit was this?
And why the hell did I see that walking red flag that was Cutter Clayborne and want to run directly to him and go with the crazy ideas he was throwing at me?
Why did the sound of being pregnant with his baby totally appeal to me?
Why did I want to permanently cement him into my life like he’d suggested, and make it to where, no matter what, we would always and forever be connected?
I should be running for the hills.
I should be telling everyone that I’d spoken out of turn.
I should be doing a lot of things, the least of which was not being in this position right now.
Yet I still sat directly in front of him.
I still allowed my hips to be widened.
I still watched as he dropped down to his knees in front of me.
I watched as his eyes came up to meet mine as his tongue darted out to taste my pussy.
I gasped, my heels coming to rest on the counter.
He grinned wickedly…then devoured me.
I’d never experienced anything like it.
Too overly consumed with what was going on around me, who I was allowing to get that close, and what could happen as a result of what I was doing, I’d never been able to just let go.
But there was just some switch inside my brain that seemed to turn off when Cutter was around.
Some indescribable knowledge that I no longer had to be on guard, even a little.
Cutter would protect me.
Cutter would take care of me.
Cutter would fight anything off to make sure that I was always safe.
Cutter was my off switch.
I closed my eyes and allowed my body to just feel.
And feel it did.
His tongue flattened, and he took one long sweep from asshole to clit, tasting every inch of me as he did.
I groaned and leaned back, knocking my toothbrush holder over in the process as my shoulder blades connected with the mirror at my back.
My head went backward, and I felt my hair get caught on what I assumed was the faucet.
But I didn’t make a move to remove the tangle.
I was unable to keep my body from doing anything but experiencing what Cutter was doing to me.
I’d never known it could feel like this, but when Cutter swirled his tongue around my clit, I knew this wouldn’t be the last time that I felt this.
I’d request it like a woman writing her Christmas list.
Noon . Morning . Night . Tuesdays . Fridays . All days.
I would ask for this for the rest of my life.
He was just that good.
His tongue went to focus on my clit when his fingers came to my entrance.
Only one penetrated, and I cried out as my pussy started to clench around him.
My hands went to his hair—his glorious, utterly soft and thick hair—and yanked.
I tried to stop myself, but my body just didn’t know how to play nice in that moment.
Because I was coming.
I was coming and coming and coming, and my god, I’d never been so wet in my life.
He growled something against my pussy, and just when I thought it might be over, he was up and shoving his fat cock deep into my pussy.
I cried out, the invasion of his cock something that should’ve been shocking and surprising, but again, things with Cutter weren’t as they should be.
They were better.
More .
And good, goddamn, was it something that I’d fight and kill to keep for the rest of my life.
My arms went around his shoulders, and he yanked me closer to him, practically holding my body off the counter as he fucked me so hard and fast that I might explode from his ferocity.
But it was everything that I ever wanted, and something I never knew I needed.
His cock was so thick, and he reached so deep, that my mind was reeling.
He was hitting spots inside of me that not even my vibrators had reached.
His growl, one of possession and need, filled me up and yanked me under.
It was all that I needed—knowing that he was in this as deep as I was—to take me over once again.
My pussy clenched, and the wetness from earlier returned.
I cried out, my arm curving around his neck to hold on, grabbing on to his opposite ear, as I screamed out in pleasure.
If I had neighbors, they’d definitely have heard.
Thankfully , the guards weren’t there—that, at least, was a godsend.
Then again, maybe God had taken pity on my suffering and had seen fit to send me a man that could be my peace.
Because he literally felt like a man that was sent to be my perfect fit.
“ Fuck , baby. Fuck , fuck. You’re so wet. You feel so tight and slick. Gonna make me come…” he panted into my ear. “ Do you feel my dick twitching inside of you? Do you feel me swelling? I’m about to fill you up so full. Plant a baby inside of you so that you’ll never leave.”
I swear to God , I’d finished coming, only to turn right back around and come some more.
It was a shock as he took me under once again.
His strangled cry of, “ Oh , holy fuck,” followed me under.
I felt his cock swell.
Felt it start to twitch deep inside of me.
Then he was coming.
I felt the hot splashes of his come bathe my insides, and soon my wetness joined his, and we turned into a messy mixture of fluids as we both came down from our highs.
“ I don’t know what got into me,” he said as he pressed me against the cold wall.
I pressed my forehead to his collarbone and said, “ I know what’s gotten into me.”
He chuckled, and it made his semi-hard cock jerk inside of me.
Tiny twinges of delight sparkled through me.
I groaned and said, “ I liked it. A lot.”
He lifted me up, and it was only then that I realized his fingers on one hand were practically feathering my back hole.
I shivered for a different reason, and he paused in his return to the counter.
“ What was that for?” he asked, pulling back so that he could look at me.
I licked my lips, wondering if I should tell him, then decided…fuck it.
“ Your fingers,” I whispered. “ I like where they’re at.”
His eyes flared, then that cocky grin that had drawn me to him returned as he said, “ Maybe when I recover…”
I giggled as he sat me down onto the counter and gently pulled out.
I watched as our combined releases leeched onto the counter.
“ Fuckin ’ hot,” he said as he caught the hand towel next to the sink and wiped his cock clean.
When I went to grab for it, he pulled it away and announced, “ No , you’re sleeping exactly like that.”
I licked my lips, shifting restlessly against the counter, and said, “ I’m sticky.”
He grinned. “ You can sleep on a towel.”
And that’s exactly what I did.
When we crawled into bed, he moved me until I was on the towel, and then scooted in close.
He was naked now, not a stitch of clothing on himself, and spooned himself in close, curving his body around mine. His cock nestled up against my ass.
“ Gonna fuck you again in the night,” he growled against my ear. “ Gonna put that towel to good use.”